Reading Digest: Unauthorized Reproduction Edition

Counterfeit Jeans

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user bsdfm.

“A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my car hole!” – Homer Simpson

There were a lot more boring 20th anniversary links this week.  Here is a general paraphrase that sums up what I’m not bothering to link to this week:

The Simpsons has been on for 20 years.  I feel old.  Kids these days.  Hope they keep at it.

Aren’t all of our lives better without going through more of that?  If you want to add a little variety you can sprinkle in the occasional mention of Tracy Ullman and/or a statement about declining quality.  Instead of that we get to make fun of Mitch Albom and an astrologer, see another awesome t-shirt design, witness someone else employ the “it’s getting better!” trope, and check in with those great Samsonadzes.  Plus there’s counterfeit currency and Homer in an ad for weed. 

D’oh! I’m on ‘The Simpsons’ – Hey Albom, go fuck yourself.  And I’ll happily answer this question for you:

The plot was reminiscent of my book "Tuesdays With Morrie," and they even called the episode "Thursdays With Abie," and they wrote me into the show because, I don’t know, maybe they thought they’d get sued, which I wouldn’t have done because, frankly, I don’t know how to sue, and anyhow, why sue "The Simpsons"? I like the Simpsons, the cartoon group, not, you know, O.J.’s version.

They got you because they should’ve quit a long time ago, and you should’ve quit a long time ago, and it’s a big scary world out there for people who should’ve quit a long time ago.  (And if that first sentence is anything to go by they may have wanted to borrow some of your commas.)  Also, an O.J. joke?  Take that 1995!

Homer Simpson/Moai – This is a sweet threadless design.  It is not as cool as the other one, but what is? 

DVD Review: The Simpsons: The Complete Twentieth Season – There’s nothing you really need to read here.  Half of it is just a discourse on the history of the show (and it gets some basic facts wrong).  Then there’s this at the end:

After a few seasons that just seemed a little tired, the writing on The Simpsons has improved dramatically.

Has it now? 

Weed Mags Sprout Across Los Angeles – Medical marijuana has opened up new opportunities for publishing, albeit in very rough cut form:

It’s a young industry, where key players are still emerging, and the rules of engagement are fluid and often don’t meet professional standards. The result is a Wild West moment: Full-page pot ads include copyrighted images of Marilyn Monroe, Homer Simpson and the Incredible Hulk — corporate properties unlikely to be licensed to a corner marijuana shop.

“Unlikely to be licensed” is a wonderfully dry understatement. 

Homer Simpson named ‘honorary Aussie’ – Apparently a magazine called “Ralph” now handles Australia’s naturalization process. 

Curlers welcome Homer Simpson to the ice -  This is an article about curling that touches on the upcoming Zombie Simpsons episode. 

Free Will Astrology: January 20, 2010 – Mixing some pop culture into your batshit stupid advice eh?

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): Cartoon character Homer Simpson is on record as saying that whenever he learns something new, it pushes some old stuff out of his brain. For example, when he took a course in home wine-making, he forgot how to drive. But I don’t see this being a problem for you as you enter the High-Intensity Educational Season, a time when your capacity to find and absorb new teachings will be at a peak. If you push hard to learn new lessons, you will certainly not cause the expulsion of old lessons. On the contrary, you’ll dramatically enhance the power and brightness of what you’ve already learned.

Well played astrology fucktard, well played.  I would like my “brightness” enhanced, do you perhaps have something for sale I may purchase?  You do.  I thought so, and what’s that?  A 900 number?  How deliciously retro. 

In Defense of ‘Pants on the Ground’ – Fads come and fads go, but there is always The Simpsons:

In a long-ago “Simpsons” episode, Krusty the Clown is booted from his show after being outperformed by a popular ventriloquist. He is found destitute on the street by Bart and Lisa, holding a sign that says “Will Drop Pants for Food.” When the children ask him how it’s going, he says he’s having no luck because someone else is giving it away for free. Cut to an old man, his pants around his ankles, singing “The Old Gray Mare.”

Krusty moves in with the Simpson family to get himself and his comedy act back in shape. When he thinks he’s ready to return to show business, he turns on the television to see a chorus of old men, their pants around their ankles, singing “The Old Gray Mare.”

Whom are we laughing at there? The old men or the people who put them on television?

I’m laughing at both.

Bert Simpson – Weird but sweet Bart like drawing. 

Bart named top Simpsons character – Someone actually commissioned a poll for this:

Homer Simpson was second, with Lisa and Maggie in third and fourth places respectively.

"Picking up nearly half of all the votes cast, Bart was a clear winner – demonstrating the ongoing popularity of Springfield’s anarchic first son with UK Simpsons fans," said Jo Browne, brand manager of Simpsons Comics.

Krusty the Clown, Marge, Mr Burns, Ned Flanders, Moe and Santa’s Little Helper completed the top ten.

My favorite character is Langdon Alger. 

Simpsons Classics: Bart Gets an F – I could quibble with a few things here, but on the whole this is a very smart piece. 

Upcoming guests on the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN Jan 20th – February 1st – Letterman’s Top Ten list on Monday the 25th will be read by Homer.  Meh.

Funniest Brit since the Monty Python gang – This is just a news roundup article most of which has nothing to do with Simpsons.  Here’s the awesome part:

Springfield’s nuclear power plant is on the reverse: Malaysian police have arrested a Lebanese man who was carrying $66 million in counterfeit currency, including bills with face values of $100,000 and $1 million. The largest U.S. currency note in wide circulation is the $100 bill.

Suspicions also were raised when a closer look at the $1 million bill showed the portrait of billionaire C. Montgomery Burns from “The Simpsons.”

The Simpsons go Caucasian – It’s more of the Samsonadzes and while I can’t understand a lick of it if you watch the clip it looks like Vladimir Putin gives someone a booting:

Rewind The DVR – And finally I get to end the way I like, with someone else who doesn’t like Zombie Simpsons:

I have to admit, I haven’t watched the Simpsons in years.  Somewhere about 4-5 years ago, it went from must watch, to maybe watch, to just not interested.  I still pine for the days of Mr. Sparkle, Guatemalan Insanity Peppers and Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes.  Maybe it was the re-emergence of Family Guy, but Homer and company went completely off my radar.  Since it was the 20th anniversary and 450th episode, I did feel compelled to watch.  It’s been six days, and all I can remember is that Anne Hathaway was a guest star and that I’ll go back to forgetting about The Simpsons again.

I’d go with an F but other than that, spot on. 

10 Responses to “Reading Digest: Unauthorized Reproduction Edition”

  1. 1 sVybDy
    22 January 2010 at 5:09 pm

    Langdon Alger?

    I have no idea who that is.

  2. 22 January 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Langdon Alger? Bah, he’s no Cornelius Talmadge.

  3. 23 January 2010 at 10:31 am

    What, better than General Krull?

  4. 6 Charlie Sweatpants
    23 January 2010 at 12:53 pm

    But even General Krull pales before the awesomeness of Dolores Montenegro.

  5. 24 January 2010 at 12:47 pm

    The highest place in the Altar of Awesomeness is reserved for Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo.

  6. 8 Charlie Sweatpants
    25 January 2010 at 12:13 am

    True enough, but Tibor thinks altars are ostentatious.

  7. 25 January 2010 at 11:59 am

    Best character: Last name Jass. First name Hugh.

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