Reading Digest: Pageview Boycott Edition

The PTA Disbands3

“Good news people!  I’m happy to announce that another union has joined us in a sympathy strike, the Piano Tuners Local Four-Twelve!” – Mrs. Krabappel

It won’t matter, and I probably shouldn’t tamper with forces I don’t understand, but my boycott of Entertainment Weekly’s stupid “best character” list continues.  It combines things I truly hate: arguing over specific placements on pop culture lists, mindless Zombie Simpsons rah-rah (“twenty years and going strong!”), and Entertainment Weekly.  (I do not consider it a coincidence that their website’s URL is best pronounced “eww”.)  However, their pageview ploy worked so well that I did find two links that are worth a look.  Helpfully, both of them go to other blogs, so I don’t feel too dirty.  We’ve also got two YouTube versions of the “Talkin’ Softball” song, a Simpsons/Rule 34 image that’s funny and non-pornographic, some excellent usage, and a couple of different people ragging on Zombie Simpsons.


…Woo Hoo! – Getting the best character stuff out of the way early, here’s a defense of Homer that gets linked because it comes with YouTube from “Marge on the Lam”. 

Is Homer Simpson Really the Top TV Character of All Time? – This link makes the argument for Bart over Homer as #1.

Everett toy shop outgrows the Web, opens shop – The only item in the store that’s not for sale?  The big Simpsons characters from the movie.  Click here and scroll down for an image.

Homer Simpson vs. The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man – Shut up and eat your pinecone! 

The Simpsons Did It…Twice – Just a few more examples of recycled ideas in Zombie Simpsons. 

Homer And Bart Simpson Electronic Dart Board Game – Krusty Brand Seal of Approval on this one.  Homer and Bart’s faces cover much of the board, and it doesn’t even look like it has numbers on it.  You want to stick Homer and Bart on a dart board?  Fine.  But at least make it playable.  (via)

The Real Life Ned Flanders – Wow, that guy does look like Flanders.

Old school – This is just a screen grab of Bart reading about Whacking Day, the quote is slightly off:

“Don’t bother the snakes.

Leave the snakes alone.”

Barry White’s actual lyric is “Leave all the snakes alone.”  That nit picked, the blog it came from, “Inverted Soapbox”, gets an overall gold star for excellent usage.  It not only uses Mr. Burns to help explain the hidden pitfalls of vegetarianism, but the about page is titled “Guh?” and includes this:

My mom thinks it’s cool.

Well done. 

This isn’t about show business. This is about some kid down a hole or something. – Low grade YouTube is still funny. 

Glove Box Fun – Speaking of pointless YouTube, I cracked a smile at this:

Well I guess there a little Homer Simpson in all of us.

It would’ve been better with “Box goes open/box goes closed”. 

Lisa Simpson, saxophone player – This is just a nicely written piece about Lisa, including some glancing but sincere Zombie Simpsons hate.  Then there’s this:

So you’ll excuse me if I get snotty and say that Lisa has no business lip-syncing Ke$ha’s butt-stupid “Tik Tok.”

You do not need to be excused at all.  You are 100% correct, snottiness is completely justified. 

When One-Trick Ponies Attack – Does it still count as excellent usage when you get the quotes right but snip out a couple of lines in the middle?  Nah.  You can’t drop, “Wait, don’t be fooled!  She’s just a regular Malibu Stacy with a stupid cheap hat!” without going down to moderate usage.

The Movies That Wrecked a Show’s Reputation – Yeah:

Even a good movie spin-off doesn’t do a lot to help a show’s cultural currency, and may actually hurt it: the Simpsons movie was a hit, but it re-enforced the idea that the show was more of an institution re-visiting its past glories — since the movie was just a larger-budget version of everything we’d seen before.

That’s about the size of it.

RULE 34 – Tee-hee. 

America’s Pastime – Softball song: yes.  Even one image from Zombie Simpsons during the YouTube: No.

Simpsons Sunday – Softball song: yes.  Subtitles in what might be Italian: why not?

So there are BP employees not trying to stop the MASSIVE OIL LEAK RIGHT NOW? Curious – Someone finally made the connection between BP and a the psychotic Texans.  It was only a matter of time. 

21 Realistic X-Rays and Skeletons of Fictional Characters (PICS) – This has the usual picture of Homer’s peanut brain, but it also has a comparative anatomy lesson (internal only. . . boo) with him and Marge.  There are also a bunch of other neat images on here, including the Planet Express Ship.  (via)

Crappy Thing #996: The Simpsons, Post 1990′s – The title says it all, but here’s some good hate:

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. In the first decade of The Simpsons, it seemed like sheer genius. In the proceeding decade, not so much.


Tellingly, season 12 includes an episode entitled Worst Episode Ever.

The Simpsons + The New Millennium = Crappy

Preach it! 

5 Responses to “Reading Digest: Pageview Boycott Edition”

  1. 4 June 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Dig that layout. ;) Thanks for the link, Stonecutters. And my snottiness is totally fuckin’ justified. That Ke$ha thing was soooo awful.

    • 2 Charlie Sweatpants
      4 June 2010 at 5:35 pm

      It is a nice WordPress layout, isn’t it? Also, “butt-stupid” is a fantastic turn of phrase.

    • 3 Lovejoy Fan
      8 June 2010 at 10:30 am

      I think your article was brilliant. I felt exactly the same way about Lisa when I started watching the show. She was such a great character and I really felt I could relate to her. What happened? :(

  2. 7 June 2010 at 3:29 am

    I love Homerrrrr..
    I love this blog..
    Nothing I would say :P

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