Reading Digest: The Kids Are Alright Edition

“I used to be with it.  But then they changed what it was, now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me.  It’ll happen to you.” – Abe Simpson

Back before I turned twenty and became the mature adult I am today, I used to be amused by the goofy and illogical hysteria of press accounts about “teenagers” and the crazy things we were apparently doing.  Not once did I ever ready a story about the youth or see some segment on the news and think to myself, “Wow, that could be me and my friends!”.  I try to keep that in mind whenever I see headlines about teenagers using the internet to get high or injecting botulism into their pristine, unwrinkled faces.  In that spirit, we have a number of links this week by and about the next generation of meat bags.  The overall conclusion?  They’re fine.  Which is to say they’re just a fucked up as the rest of humanity.  Go team.  In addition to those fine young specimens, we’ve got a couple of cool videos, references to Bill Cosby and David Lynch, a new button I don’t care about, and a song that’s not actually about waffles. 

Enjoy. 

Kinetic Typography – The Simpsons – If you click on only one link this week, click on this one.  I’ll only say one thing: Aurora Borealis. 

Life Imitating… the Simpsons? – Apparently, that line of Disney brand crowd control barriers wasn’t selling well. 

Eek, here goes. A word of warning. – Another new blog, another excellent Simpsons quote:

You don’t belong here. You’re a fraud and a phony, and it’s only a matter of time until they find you out.

Karl remains one of those signature characters I’m still amazed they even got on television.  Welcome to WordPress, Smithernet. 

I hate pants! – Ditching pants is good:

But, since quiting, I’ve been wearing shorts, skirts, dresses, bikinis, flowy yoga cut-off pants and board shorts. And sometimes, like Homer, when I’m alone I just walk around in underwear! I’ve never done that and now that I have IT’S AWESOME! It’s ALL freedom baby!

Joi, you rule.  Just remember, there’s nothing like an unfurnished basement for pure comfort. 

‘Simpsons’ GPS Leads Writer Astray – More follies from the Homer GPS system.  This time it led Mike Reiss astray in Massachusetts. 

The 5 Most Unproductive Companies on TV – I hardly think the nuclear plant qualifies.  Whatever else may be said about them, they do produce power. 

TV Craze. – The teevee watching plans of a youngster:

It’s been a really long time since I last watched an episode of the Simpsons and I decided to watch it again. Especially since the cast of Glee will be there on it’s Season 22 premiere!

Don’t be sucked in.  Watch episodes from single digit seasons and you’ll be far more entertained. 

Happy House graduates meet voice actor – Nancy Cartwright thinking of the children. 

Dexter and the rise of the TV anti-hero – A list of slightly dark teevee heroes, including Homer. 

Ernie Borgnine–the next Betty White? – Everything you ever wanted to know about the Junior Campers most famous celebrity volunteer. 

Sideshow Bob vs. Killer BOB – Sideshow Bob compared with a character from Twin Peaks.  I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. 

Bill Cosby Could Save Modern T.V. – Photoshopping Bill Cosby’s head onto various things, including Hibbert’s body.   

Simpsons Avatar – Burger King may have failed America by taking down Simpsonize Me, but the movie website still works and if you get through a few layers of pointlessly elaborate Flash menus you can still make your own Simpsons character. 

The Future Is Now – More lamenting aging with “Lisa’s Wedding”.  Personally, I find the fact that incoming college freshman don’t know cursive writing to be a step forward for humanity. 

Curriculum lurks in ‘Simpsons’ book by MSOE teacher – Okay, I’m three months late on this, but it’s a praise worthy review of the classroom Simpsons book. 

If you happen to be in Milwaukee this Saturday… – Speaking of which, you can get your copy signed in Milwaukee tomorrow. 

No to The Simpsons – Sometimes, you’ve got to fight for your Simpsons:

So we missed a lot of the Simpsons when we were growing up. We only had passing glimpses of it depending on how fast we could switch to it back and forth from another program with the remote in between the time my dad ventured momentarily out of the family room, where our TV was located.

REVIEW: Spraynard: Cut and Paste – There is a band with a song titled “Stickin’ Together Is What Good Waffles Do”.  Here it is, bathe in its majesty:

Dime Dailies: Boo-urns – With YouTube:

where is the line between congratulations and condemnation? is there a line? is burns the hybrid between the two? “boo-urns:” think about it – think harder. so, now which man has all that power?

Cake the simpsons and sesame street – NISSA – This is not in English, it does not matter.  A Simpsons cake on top of a Sesame Street cake equals epic WIN in every form of communication known to man. 

Veggie Tales – The enduring legacy of “Lisa the Vegetarian” is that everyone has a common frame of reference for vegetarianism.  Also, this blog has a post titled “Kiss me I’m left handed”. 

You Don’t Mess Around With Sly – I’m sure at some point I’ll see The Expendables legally, and certainly not by downloading it for free, but, for now, this will have to do:

Not content simply to play out all the best bits of bygone films, Stallone actively updates a number of time-tested action clichés to new levels of insanity. For example, rather than grabbing onto helicopter skids to escape a gunfight, Stallone leaps from a pier onto the side of his airplane, scales it like a monkey at full takeoff velocity, and manages to swing himself inside to safety just as the big bird lifts off. This vehicle deserves special mention – a giant black cargo plane, adorned with the Expendables logo of a huge raven perched atop the globe, painted with the oh-so-convincing legend “Global Wildlife Conservancy.” It puts one in mind of a similar joke from The Simpsons, where the mafia element spend their time in a back-alley hideout, undetectable except for a huge sign out front that says “Legitimate Businessman’s Social Club.”

‘Meh’ button spreads across Internet – I have no strong opinions about this, but I thought I’d include it.  Feh.