Reading Digest: Real World Usage Edition

Homie the Clown4

“You will now go back to your hometowns, and do kids parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot clown pole.” – Krusty the Klown

This week we’ve got quite a few links to real world applications of Simpsons stuff.  It’s all here, from comparisons to SpongeBob, good homes for those promotional statues from the movie, building-sized murals, anti-mold remodeling, and what may be the greatest toilet paper dispenser in the long and glorious history of toilet paper dispensers.  There’s also an awesome Ned Flanders costume, a list of great B-plots, and much excellent regular usage.  Don’t forget, if you’ve found or written something Simpsons-related on-line, feel free to leave it in the comments.


Double Humiliation WIN – This is genius.  All toilet paper rolls should end this way.

Bartman – A wall mural of Bartman and Batman from, it says, Portland in the 90s. 

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows…In 10 Words – Our friend Galileo e-mailed this in with the following explanation:

The entry both sums up the book and uses a Simpsons quote (well, most of one). Again, "blah blah blah Zombies Simpsons blah blah blah" but I feel a Simpsons reference is a Simpsons reference, regardless of when it was made.

I disagree, but that is a pretty good way to sum up Harry Potter 7. 

The Greatest B-Stories from The Simpsons – This, also from Galileo, is more like it.  It’s also Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week as he runs down ten great B-plots (and one Zombie Simpsons one).  There’s YouTube, and screen caps and quotes galore. 

Bart Simpson Gas Mask – Mask 186 – I’m not sure what these are, but they look fantastic. 

Rewatching The Simpsons: Season One – Another person going through all the old ones starting with Season 1. 

Uncanny: Ned Flanders Costume(?) – Awesome Ned Flanders costume.  And check out the comments on the Reddit page, lots of Simpsons references, not so much with the Zombie Simpsons. 

Houston Texans — R.I.P. 2010 – If you can point to a reference of it on the show, it means you are not an egghead:

In her 1969 book Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross describes in detail the five stages of dealing with grief and tragedy. Simply put, the human progression is to exhibit feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (likely in that order).

Now, before you go thinking that I am some well-read, Ivy League wanna-be, just know that my first exposure to the Kubler-Ross theory was in an episode of The Simpsons where Homer discovers a morsel of poisonous blowfish he ate at a Japanese buffet might send him to an early grave. Homer amazingly goes through all five stages in about 11 seconds (or for Texans fans, about the same amount of time it will take Chris Johnson to execute his first 75-yard touchdown in a couple weeks).

Your progress astounds me. 

Back In The Game – Someone took those big Simpsons statues from the movie, got the couch, and put up the sailboat picture behind them.  Well done.  Also, nice WordPress theme.

Week 10 Wrap Up – There is a fantasy football league that has all Simpsons team names.  The game in this roundup was “Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos vs. Apu Du Beamarchais”.  Those are the best team names I’ve ever heard (and no Zombie Simpsons).  Also, there is Joey Jo Jo YouTube in both English and Spanish. 

TrendEnding 11/18. – This is a bit harsh, even for me:

I’m not sure if it was before or after The Simpsons ruined The Simpsons that pop culture ruined The Simpsons’ famous “comic book guy“.  Probably after considering the former happened circa early-2000′s.  I miss the 90′s iteration.  Anyhoo, CBG was this massive douche who wasn’t even close to ever seeing the light of “cool”.  He was this sloppy, pathetic mass of a character who was never glorified in any way and the audience never came close to feeling anything for him but utter contempt.  So, I ask, why then did it suddenly become cool to utter his phrase “Worst. [Blank]. Ever”?  (Substituting “worst” with “best” is apparently acceptable; and any single lame thing one can imagine can be sandwiched in the middle)  The translation of this phrase to textual form really chaps my ass… as everyone who writes it, with the period after each word, thinks they’re clever.  I’ve got a new one… Fuck. That. Shit.

The, for lack of a better term, Ralph Wiggum-ization of Comic Book Guy has been one of the more durable hallmarks of Zombie Simpsons.  And while “Best/Worst X Ever” is massively overused, I still think it can be deployed with some panache if done in the right circumstances. 

D’oh! FOX bans Homer Simpson’s bare behind – Jean mentioned the nudity ban when discussing the Season 23 renewal, so the news on that has migrated from DVD commentaries into the wider world of news.  This is an MSN write-up of the fact that they can’t do nudity.  It is uninteresting except for this excellent usage at the end:

If the thought of not seeing Homer’s heinie in any new episodes has you down, here are some comforting words, courtesy of Bart, who refused to believe his father’s declaration that he’d "never wiggle my bare butt in public again."

"Dad, I know you’re discouraged," he said, "but please don’t deny the world your fat can."

‘Simpsons’ writer speaks at Co-Op – Mike Reiss continues his speaking tour.  You know you’ve done well when the 11-year-olds don’t hate it:

Her brother, 11-year-old Joseph Smith, said, "He was really funny and I liked that he joked around a lot. It wasn’t so bad; it wasn’t super boring."

Culture Club: How much longer can The Simpsons really go on? – These guys are far gentler on Zombie Simpsons than I would be, but other than that this is pretty much every Simpsons-meta conversation ever.  It can still be good!  It should go off!  Age the characters to make it fresh! 

Lisa Simpson and why reform isn’t really reform – Using the failure of Lisa Lionheart to explain the vacuousness of most school reform:

In an old episode of The Simpsons, Lisa mounts a campaign against a Barbie-like doll called “Malibu Stacy” that spouts sexist phrases such as, “Let’s wear makeup so the boys will like us,” and “Math is hard.”

Talking Malibu Stacy doesn’t say “Math is hard”, and she wants to “buy” makeup, no “wear” it, but it’s quite apt so I’m going to call that moderate usage. 

Two Quick Things – Global warming deniers are funny (though not in the way they think they’re funny):

I walked past a number of protesters that had signs saying "Global Warming Is A Lie!"  Also, they had pictures of Homer Simpson and signs that read "Science By Homer Simpson."  My first thought was, I haven’t seen that episode of the Simpsons.  My second thought was, does Homer even know he’s the mascot for a "Global Warming Is A Lie" protest?  My third thought was, I wonder if that is copyright infringement?

Bart Simpsons rocks his kiteboard – The kiteboarding community took notice of last week’s Zombie Simpsons.  That is all. 

Bart Simpson Soundboard – Ninety-nine cents for twenty-five Bart Simpson quotes for your Palm device. 

Using Building Science to Transform a Damp, Musty Basement – From a blog post about renovating a building with a mold problem:

"In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!" Homer Simpson said that, and it’s good advice for all of us. Actually, we don’t really have a choice, you know. If, out of ignorance or dissent, we do things that go against the laws of thermodynamics or physics or building science, we don’t break the laws. But they sure can break us — and our buildings!

Excellent usage.

Partying with Lisa Simpson! – Someone finally put one of those giant statues left over from the movie promotion to good use as a party decoration.  Click through for the photographic proof. 

"Legends of Bikini Bottom": Tales of the Extremely Mundane – In describing the sorry state of SpongeBob, Maxie Zeus agrees with us:

A SpongeBob SquarePants review shouldn’t be the place for a lecture on the economics of Hollywood and cable television. Problem is, the SpongeBob franchise, even more than The Simpsons franchise, long ago stopped being a funny and innovative cartoon show and became a case study for the Harvard Business Review.


What I mean, of course, is what I’ve been saying every time I have to review a new SpongeBob SquarePants DVD: the cartoons are bland and boring and have about 1% of the personality of the first few seasons. But Nickelodeon will keep producing them as (creative) loss leaders for its merchandising business and because the little yellow sponge still draws eyeballs. Meanwhile, the real innovation is being executed by the marketing people, in devising ever more creative ways to package its shorts in ever more forms.

That sounds eerily like Zombie Simpsons.

5 Responses to “Reading Digest: Real World Usage Edition”

  1. 19 November 2010 at 8:34 pm

    Ok, a few reasons why The Ribwich made it on to the list:

    -I explain in the entry that, well, it was timely.
    -It was one of the 11 that I immediately thought of when I thought “B-Story.” The Ribwich came to mind because it left a big impact on me, the Fast Food Fatass that I am.
    -I completely forgot about The Ayn Rand School For Tots. I deeply apologize.

    I’m planning on a sequel entry. Good chance you’ll see that for next week’s entry.

    For In 10 Words, yeah The Regina Monologues isn’t one of my favorites (gratuitous guest stars ahoy!), but in my philosophy of “There’s a Simpsons Quote For Everything,” the quote JK Rowling uses for Lisa summed up Deathly Hallows quite well.

    • 2 P. Piggly Hogswine
      21 November 2010 at 3:01 am

      I preferred the Ribwich B-Story to the main story itself. I’m just hoping they re-introduce them over here, apparently one of the fast food joints in Australia had them once, but I don’t recall it.

      Nevetheless, great idea to summarise B-Stories and I liked that the Adil one got in the list, often the really early episodes get neglected in these countdowns.

  2. 3 Lovejoy Fan
    20 November 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Regarding the CBG thing… Zombie Simpsons seems to be glorifying him a lot.

  3. 20 November 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Thanks for posting my Bart Gas Mask. It’s part of my mask a day project called MASK365, loved reading your posts.

  4. 5 sonnywilkins
    22 November 2010 at 12:33 pm

    I wrote that “Trend Ending” piece. Thanks for linking to it. I was frustrated at the time, when someone wrote on a social-networking site “Worst. [Don’t Remember]. Ever.”, so I vented. I saw John Stewart do it on the Daily Show a couple days later. I dunno, I personally think it needs to be retired. We’re moving into 2011 here!

    Anyways, absolutely LOVE the site. Will link to it soon (perhaps even throw it in the “Blogreel”). But I do read it for my own personal use rather frequently. Thanks again!


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