Reading Digest: Mammary Euphemism Edition Part 2

Homer Alone5

“Bart, you really shouldn’t be looking through other people’s things . . . find anything good?” – Lisa Simpson
“I said it before and I’ll say it again: aye caramba!” – Bart Simpson

As expected, the appearance of Katy Perry in the flesh on Zombie Simpsons sent the signal-to-noise ratio of Simpsons content on the internet plummeting.  And, just like last time, the number of euphemisms for mammary glands in the English language continues to impress.  You will find none (well, almost) of that below.  Instead we’ve got some fan art, some excellent usage, a homicidal looking Lisa doll, and an epic anti-Zombie Simpsons essay demanding an apology from FOX. 


Ten Weirdest New Animals of 2010: Editors’ Picks – It’s always a good idea to give your new species a catchy name, as the Burns Toad made the list.  There’s also a “Yoda Bat”.  (via)

Ars HTPC Guide: December 2010 – Linked solely because Troy McClure is on the example screen.

Lego Homer Simpson mini bust – I put this up on Twitter on Wednesday, but it’s too awesome not to link again. 

Morning Minutes for Friday, December 17 – Get your news from the future right here!  The town of Herkimer, New York appears to have fallen into some kind of time warp.  Because while it is true that next Friday is Simpsons Day, it’s still next Friday.  Today’s the 10th. 

Breasts, Katy Perry coming to The Simpsons – This is the only Perry link this week.  He didn’t like it.

Maggie Simpson – Awww, Maggie fan art.

Ten Great Animals from The Simpsons – This is a pretty good list.  It dabbles in Zombie Simpsons territory, the latest episode cited is from Season 11, but never goes over. 

Shit Kits: Southend United 1996-98 – The Bart Simpson ‘Custard Splat’ – That is indeed a horrific looking uniform. 

Old Lisa & Maggie Dolls Vintage Lisa & Maggie Simpson Plush Rag Dolls ~ 1990 – This is just a typical eBay sale of old Simpsons stuff.  But is it just me, or does Lisa look a little too happy?  You know, the kind of “happy” that becomes “stabby”? 







Student protesters in London use Google Maps to outwit police "kettling" – The Thames appears to be experiencing some Godzilla related turbulence. 

Daily Batman: Teevee Time, “The Simpsons” – You can’t get the quote wrong with the subtitles on.

Bernstein: Smith “Tirade” What Bears Needed, Fans Seem To Want – This is excellent usage:

Ned Flanders had finally had enough.
His house destroyed, his business in ruins, his bad fortune making a mockery of his boundless faith and optimism, he exploded on Springfield townsfolk after his last bit of self-control wore away.
“Awww…hell. Diddely ding-dong crap! Can’t you morons do anything right?!”
He then immediately checked himself into a mental hospital.
Nobody’s saying the same destination awaits Lovie Smith after his halftime talk yesterday, but reports are that his words echoed those of Flanders in that eighth-season episode of The Simpsons.

A fan-tash-tic charity effort – Men with moustaches, including a very yellow Flanders.

Ribbon Candy…In 10 Words – Check out the excellent usage in the comments.  “It is a candy dish, Ned.  Ninety dollars.” 

a female deer – Fan art playing on “Bart Gets an Elephant”.

Technical Difficulties – The show always had great technical difficulty signs, Brockman in the straight jacket, the drunken cameraman.  Here’s another one. 

The Simpsons: Updated – Dec 7 – The Simpsons gingerbread house from last week is progressing nicely.  No roof yet, but the walls are up and the outline looks dead on. 

Please Stop Making Me Hate The Simpsons – And finally, I get to end the way I like to, with someone who agrees with us.  Elizabeth Grunewald writes:

I want to make this very clear: I love The Simpsons. Two Simpsons episodes, "You Only Move Twice" and "Cape Feare," rank in my top ten episodes of all television. The show could plumb the depths of human experience while splitting sides, and has been recognized for its brilliance by critics, academics, and just about everyone I consider a friend.

I say "could" because The Simpsons should have been canceled about twelve years ago.

She goes on to list five shows (with YouTube!) FOX shouldn’t have cancelled, and demands apologies in exchange for forgiving them for Zombie Simpsons.  Preach it, sister!  Preach it! 

3 Responses to “Reading Digest: Mammary Euphemism Edition Part 2”

  1. 1 Andreas
    10 December 2010 at 4:11 pm

    As before, I’m chancing the sleaziness of self-linking in the hopes that this might offer you & your readers some enjoyment:

    That last link is great. If ONLY we could’ve had a decade less of The Simpsons, and a decade more of The Critic. That’s an alternate universe worth pining for. (Also, I know it wasn’t FOX’s fault, but how about another few seasons of Mission Hill please?)

  2. 2 Lovejoy Fan
    11 December 2010 at 3:32 pm

    That Lisa doll is WAY too happy. That’s the kind of face you see on someone just before they pull a knife out from behind their backs (in horror movies, at least).

    • 3 D.N.
      11 December 2010 at 7:21 pm

      I’ve got a Bart rag doll with that same creepy expression. At least, I had one. No idea where it is now, which is for the best.

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