Reading Digest: Aussie Edition

Bart vs Australia9

“See?  The Southern Hemisphere is made up of everything below the Equa- . . . this line.” – Lisa Simpson
“So down there in, say, Argentina or Rand McNally, all their water runs backwards?” – Bart Simpson
“Uh-huh.  In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.” – Lisa Simpson
“Cool.” – Bart Simpson

I don’t know if it’s a holiday there or what, but we’ve got lots of links from our friends down in the penal colony this week.  There’s charity and Simpsons bitching, and the greatest waste of perfectly good beer since prohibition.  There’s even a town vs. town fight!  Back here on the side of the world where people eat hamburgers, there’s plenty of usage, some crappy merchandise, and two early reviews of the Maggie short that’s premiering before Ice Age 4


Cairns v Townsville: ‘We’re bigger than you’ – Awesome:

Townsville claims Cairns is fudging its population figures.

And if The Simpsons taught us anything, it’s this: when two towns go to war, it generally leads to someone stealing a lemon tree.

In which town can I marry someone’s attractive cousin, Cairns or Townsville?

Movie Review: Madea’s Witness Protection; or, Tyler Perry’s Diminishing Returns – Excellent reference:

Aside from that episode of The Simpsons where the family has to go into hiding with assumed identities after Sideshow Bob threatens to kill Bart, comedy still hasn’t quite cracked the code on witness protection, despite many tries. (My Blue Heaven, written by the late Nora Ephron, came close, while the Larry the Cable Guy opus Witless Protection and the Hugh Grant travesty Did You Hear about the Morgans?, uh, didn’t.)


How is the Simpsons still airing? – Someone actually posted this on Yahoo Answers:

It is not funny anymore. At all. I’ve watched so many Simpsons episodes and I really enjoy the earlier episodes up until around 2008ish. They started going downhill and is like…not even funny. I’m not saying they should cancel they show because it has lots of fans, just wondering how it is continuing to stay strong without being funny?

Best Answer: Merchandising, merchandising.

MUSIC: XV – Be There, Be Square Prod. by Xaphoon – Here’s how you know The Simpsons had a bigger cultural impact than anything else in the last twenty odd years.  This drawing has pop culture staples from Marilyn Monroe and Darth Vader to Dwight Schrute, the Doc and Marty, and Michael Jordan.  But it’s in the Simpsons’ living room.

Radical Becomes the Latest in a Series of Disheartening Studio Closures – The studio that made “The Simpsons: Hit & Run” game is being closed down.  Activision sucks. 

The Simpsons, the Muppets and Hello Kitty spoof aliens! – Not sure of the original source here, but that is a damn good Simpsons/Alien, Homer/John Hurt image.  Nice touch on the Yaphet Kotto headband on Carl.  (Also, this is a blog dedicated to Alien and Terminator movies, with an author who claims to be one of them and calls herself Ripley Connor.  Awesome.)

D’oh! Duff deal costs $2m – You bastards:

A Perth businessman was forced to throw out hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of beer made famous in The Simpsons television show after 20th Century Fox took legal action against him over copyright.


A big pile of the distinctive red cans could be seen being emptied and crushed at Mr Da Silva’s company Bell-Vista Fruit and Veg in South Fremantle last week.

Fucking FOX, ruining everyone’s good time over a piddling two million bucks.

Elizabeth fights for beds – These people could’ve certainly used the two million, and they’re in Australia too:

ONE of everyone’s favourite episodes of ‘The Simpsons" is when Homer is bedridden in hospital and discovers the control for the electronically adjustable bed.

"Bed goes up, bed goes down – bed goes up – bed goes down," Homer yells excitedly as he works the controls.

Unfortunately, patients at Murwillumbah District Hospital’s rehabilitation ward rarely get the opportunity to "do a Homer" with the bed controls – there’s only a small number of such beds available.

Review: Maggie Simpson in The Longest Daycare – The short won’t be released for another two weeks, but the first reviews are very positive:

After twenty-three years on the air, The Simpsons is far from being the fresh show it once was.


Without a single line of dialogue over its four-and-a-half minutes, we go on an epic odyssey with one of the family’s least outspoken characters. Maggie stories don’t often get much light in the television show, simply because she is difficult to sustain over 20 minutes, but in the abbreviated format of the short film, Maggie becomes the cinema star she was always destined to be. Like the silent movies of yesteryear, 2011′s The Artist notwithstanding, Silverman recognises the inherent comedy in action rather than words. The focus on a single character is reminiscent of the classic Disney or Looney Toons shorts, and we hope this means more Maggie, Homer or even Bart ‘toons to come.

Maggie Simpson’s Book of Animals – Speaking of Maggie, here’s a nice collection of high resolution photos of the book Groening’s sister did way back when at least some of the merchandise was good.  I found a used copy of this book a few years ago and gave it to a friend’s kid for his birthday.  He seemed to like it. 

Time – Once again, The Simpsons shows the way:

Significantly, I noticed that the less smiley clock on the wall struck a similar pose when The Simpsons came on.

The Simpsons provided incentive for me to learn to tell the time.
It was during this episode of The Simpsons that I learned what “sarcastic” means.
The Simpsons also taught me that one way to tell a story is to start completely off topic, and then transition into the key story.

So I’m sharing how I learned to tell the time to say that I’ve given up TV for a month.

Good luck with your TV fast.

Homer and Marge Simpson: A LEGO® creation by Travis Kirby – Homer and Marge in the medium of Lego. 

All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals. – This is a two part link, here’s the description:

I’ve picked one episode from each of the first 10 seasons of the show that best display Homer’s quality as either a father or a husband.

The first five are at the link above, the second five . . .

Stupider than a fox! – . . . are right here.  As he said, no Zombie Simpsons.  Bravo.

Summer TV Series: A Barren Wasteland or A Lost Treasure Trove – More from the Southern Hemisphere:

In Australia over the Christmas holidays TV really couldn’t be worse. The TV series that usually screen over the summer in the US actually tend to screen in Australia over the second ratings season beginning in August so once it gets to Australian summer their really is absolutely nothing on except for ‘Carols By Candlelight’ which is so terrible, I’ve been known to god forbid, read a book to avoid it. The only good thing about summer TV in Australia is that broadcasters replace their usual painful news shows like ‘A Current Affair’ and ‘Today Tonight’ with reruns of ‘The Nanny’ and ‘The Simpsons’.

That does sound bad.   

9GAG – Marge Simpson – A marijuana bud that kinda looks like Marge’s hair.

A Very Electric Connectivity Round-Up – The Simpsons-apocalypse play closes this weekend, so if you’re in D.C. this is your last chance.  This is a look at some of the pre/post-show extras they’ve got.

The F*cket List – More nice usage:

I noticed recently that Bucket Lists have become all the rage in the blogosphere as well.  Many bloggers have a separate tab for their Bucket Lists, where they keeping a running tally of all the items they’ve completed and blog about each experience. It started to feel like every second blog I read featured someone running a marathon,  or swimming with dolphins, or climbing mount Everest,  or becoming a Monorail conductor, or eating the world’s biggest hoagie, or living in the woods while keeping a journal of their thoughts, or bowling a perfect game.

……….Ok, so at least half of those were actually Homer Simpson’s lifelong dreams. But you get the picture.

Click through for the definition of a “Fucket” list, a concept of which I wholeheartedly approve.

Sweet, Sweet Beer – This is an article about beer brewing in Mississippi, and it contains excellent usage:

“I’d kill everyone in this room for one drop of sweet, sweet beer.” —Homer Simpson

Homer actually says “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer”, but that’s close enough and apt, so it’s still excellent usage.

Scent a Celebrity Series: Spritzing Springfield – Scenting The Simpsons Part 2 – Following up on last week, here are more (apparently) famous fragrances matched with Simpsons characters.

Just a little bit ridiculous… – Comic Book Guy gets cited and used a lot, but rarely with this much care.  It’s just a post about a class, but it ends oh so well.  (And the Jack Nicholson/Michael Keaton Batman remains awesome and has aged incredibly well.)

When Harry Met Sally…In 10 Words – Mmm, fake orgasm scene.

Simpsons Khlav Kalash: The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson – WordPress search terms can be very amusing, especially if the monkey god that runs Google somehow associates you with an old episode of The Simpsons

Simpsons – You have my undivided attention (gif) – Animated .gif of Homer thinking.

Nobody likes Milhouse – the simpsons – A nice .jpg of nobody liking Milhouse. 

You’ll Warm to This: Ice Age 4 – Another early and positive review for “The Longest Daycare”:

AND HERE’S A BONUS: the film is preceded by a hilarious and heart-warming 3-D Simpsons cartoon, which stars a largely overlooked character; Maggie, the youngest member of that celebrated TV family. This pre-feature surprise is worth the price of admission alone!

Best Episode of the Season: The Simpsons Season 23 – I’d basically forgotten that book episode, but somebody liked it.  I remain extremely bored, but that’s just my opinion.

Beth Kassab: Maglev train brings reasons for skepticism – Employing “Marge vs. the Monorail” as a column hook about a possible commuter train in Orlando, Florida. 

Why Am I So Crap At Clothes? – No idea, but this is nice usage:

I’m like Marge Simpson when she finds that Chanel suit in an op-shop and it is all she wears for a while, when trying to fit in with new rich friends.

“Sparkle sparkle” – More clothes related usage.

When I’m at work – You better be dying.  One of Homer’s most poignant moments is also hilarious.

Lemony shortbread. – Need something to bring to a friend’s house for breakfast?  How about shortbread and YouTube of Homer’s magical animal speech.

The Simpsons Bart Simpson Figure Style USB 2.0 Flash Drive – Yellow (16GB) – Definite Krusty Brand Seal of Approval alert on this warped looking Bart thumb drive. 

Opposition to Free Speech – Time to brush up on your American history:

Dr. Taylor conjectured that Matt Groening, writer of the Simpsons, most likely is a Federalist.  To support this statement, nothing good happens in Springfield during the times that the mob rules.

I blame the tariff. 

Romance is Not Dead – Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard.

Summer 2012 Moodboard / Lisa Simpson Brooch – A small, heart shaped Lisa pin.

Kill Zinesters – Well, I learned something today:

On the other hand, “Bunnyhop” received the negative attention of Matt Groenig’s lawyers after Tolentino sent a copy of “Bunnyhop’s” Geeks vs. Jocks issue, the cover of which featured Groenig’s Life in Hell character Binky knocking the Trix out of the Trix Rabbit, to the creator of The Simpsons. Tolentino expected Groenig to be amused and flattered, but received a “cease and desist” letter ordering him to destroy all copies of the cover and print a pre-approved apology. Tolentino was surprised not only by the response from a man who uses parody to such an extent as Groenig does, but moreover by the fact that it was the cartoonist, not the cereal company that balked.

Aww, Matt, just because the misspelled your name doesn’t mean you should sue them.

a blog post with no title, but which is vaguely to do with cooking and having a good time – Yet more from Australia:

My new friends trusted me with the task of doing the grocery shopping for this adventure. I took it seriously, I’d hate to have let them down. I knew I would be right with things like celery and potato. I was optimistic that I would find some sort of tofu (I actually found two separate tofu products. Incredible!), but the hitherto unheard of ketjap was a sauce of some concern for me (did you see what I did there?) After some extended discussion and googling and sharing of The Simpsons quotes, we managed to clarify that I was not looking for ketchup, or catsup, but a sweet soy sauce.

That does sound confusing.

Derpy’s Hook – My Little Brony – Bart finds the heart of My Little Pony.

Jesus on a tortilla? I present to you – Homer Simpson on a snake. – That snake’s head does indeed kinda look like Homer. (via)

pinklabcoats – They were a colorful bunch.

Teen joins Homer Simpson in soda machine rescue history – On the plus side, no lumber yards burned down.

Fiona SMASH- a Fan Rant – From a Fiona Apple review:

Barney belching and her saying #9 over and over again. That’s what The Idler Wheel... reminds me of. Garbled nonsense intended on taking music to dangerous new places but really it just polarize new fans and old fans. Also, this is coming from the girl who listens to RadioHead.

It’s actually #8, but that’s still a nice comparison.

Tea With Chris: Disorienting Pleasures – Every good scientist is half B.F. Skinner and half P.T. Barnum (with dog in the vents YouTube).

TV REVIEW: Futurama Season 7 – I’ve generally thought that this summer’s Futurama episodes have been noticeably better than last summer’s.  Seems I’m not the only one:

After the Planet Express crew discover an ancient Martian prophecy about the world ending in the year 3012, everyone rushes to get a spot on the planet’s only functional space ship captained by none other than the incompetent Zapp Brannigan. This is a great episode that is clever as it is funny and satirical as well as surprisingly relevant. After getting sick of The Simpsons parodying something about 2 years after it’s in the media its nice to see Futurama having a slightly quicker response time, although it’s still got nothing on South Park‘s timeliness.

Fair point.  (via)

Stop! Stop! The Simpsons is already dead! – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us:

Axing The Simpsons would have been the kindest thing for it. It has become almost like an elderly uncle at the wedding who doesn’t quite realise that the more he dances the Macarena, the more everyone else cringes.


7 Responses to “Reading Digest: Aussie Edition”

  1. 29 June 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Thanks so much for ending with my article. I’m truly honoured :)

  2. 2 tmike4true
    29 June 2012 at 2:56 pm

    You are so right! It is #8…For some reason I had “# 9” stuck in my head and I never stopped to cross check it. My bad. Thanks :)

  3. 3 Son of Duane
    29 June 2012 at 4:31 pm

    In which town can I marry someone’s attractive cousin, Cairns or Townsville?


  4. 29 June 2012 at 5:53 pm

    That picture of the Simpsons in Alien has been floating around the internet for years—I remember seeing it as a kid (maybe 2003?) and hoping it was from some Treehouse of Horror I hadn’t seen before.

  5. 6 D.N.
    30 June 2012 at 1:07 am

    As a resident of Perth, Western Australia, I have to say I will really miss driving by the liquor store at the corner of Walcott and Beaufort Streets, Mt Lawley*, and seeing the sign advertising Duff Beer for sale (not that I ever bought or drank the stuff). I always suspected it was only a matter of time before corporate goons spoiled the fun.

    * the store is actually called “Liquor Barons.” Not quite “Beer Baron,” but close enough.

  6. 30 June 2012 at 4:36 pm

    Thanks for including my blog link!! You have a great site. Continued success!!

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