Reading Digest: Terrible Costumes Edition

Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield5

“This was originally a Halloween costume, but it found its way into my regular rotation.” – Selma Bouvier

Once you get above the age of twelve or so, it becomes difficult, bordering on impossible, to wear a store bought Halloween costume without looking like a dork.  Things are made even worse if the store bought costume is something that you could’ve put together if you’d given it more than ten minutes of effort.  Below we have three examples of why this is.  All three are just awful, and all three could easily be done better with spare parts (and probably cheaper too).  Boo, store costumes.

In addition to that we’ve got lots of other Halloween stuff, including several Treehouse of Horror articles.  And on top of those, there’s some carnival games, misquoted closed captioning, a couple of people who agree with us, and a shitload of awesome Simpsons tattoos.


Best of the Simpsons: Emotional Moments – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this excellent list of 25 great Simpsons moments, some happy, some sad, and none Zombie.

Treehouse of Horror – A brand new blog dedicated to “the greatness of all things from the 80s and 90s” kicks things off by reminiscing about the original “Treehouse of Horror”:

That is the warning we get from Marge as the program opens.  Hard to believe, but, The Simpsons was considered controversial at the time.  In fact, I can remember as a child not being allowed to watch the show.  Like many other millions of kids, I watched it anyway, and I turned out just fine.  At least I think so.

There were always a couple of kids at school who couldn’t watch the show.  They felt terribly left out.

RTF’s ‘Geeky Tattoos’ #4 (The Simpsons) – A collection of awesome Simpsons tattoos people have gotten.  There’s a couple here I’ve seen before, but most of them are new to me.  The typewriter monkey and the gummy Venus are just awesome.

Sports On TV: The Simpsons’ 20 Greatest Golden Age Sports Moments – Great slideshow, and no Zombie Simpsons:

For this week’s Sports On TV column, I used the most generally agreed-upon definition of the show’s prime: season 2 through season 8. Tackling the best sports moments of a monster like ‘The Simpsons’ is tough, so consider this a Part 1 of its own series, destined to include a Part 2, Part 3, and even a Part 4, should we delve into those wretched, later season guest star hives like "Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass".

Nah, I wouldn’t do that.  It’s all just guest stars where one of the Simpsons says, “Celebrity name X!” and then nothing interesting happens.

Language Log » Simpsons – More credentialed people noting that the show has altered the English language:

From the November issue of Mental Floss (not online yet), under the title "The 25 Most Powerful TV Shows of the Last 25 Years":

You don’t need to turn on the TV to hear The Simpsons. Just chat with pretty much anyone. As University of Pennsylvania linguistic professor Mark Liberman wrote in 2005, "The Simpsons has apparently taken over from Shakespeare and the Bible as our culture’s greatest source of idioms, catchphrases, and sundry other textual allusions."

(via @springfieldx2)

Simpsons Rollercoaster Theme Lawsuit: Song Use Goes Off the Rails – Someone is suing someone else over the use of the theme song, I think at the Simpsons Ride.  I’m honestly not sure, and I definitely don’t care.

Universal Orlando steps up their “games” with new Simpsons addition – And speaking of theme park news that doesn’t interest me, apparently some carnival games got moved from the Jaws ride to the Simpsons ride.  Here’s some YouTube of said games (and a couple of bored looking employees).

‘The Simpsons’: This year’s ‘Treehouse of Horror’ – Zombie Simpsons has gotten so different from The Simpsons that even the dim bulbs at Entertainment Weekly took notice:

The Simpsons‘s “Treehouse of Horror” episodes stopped actually trying to be scary long ago. These days, the show’s annual Halloween installment is more of a vehicle for all-purpose movie parodies and icky visuals.

Top 5 The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror Episodes – An unconventional list (it’s rare that you see one without the Shining), but no Zombie Simpsons, so it’s all good.

I was 12 when these started? D’oh! – Reminiscing about the awesomeness of old Halloween episodes, including audio YouTube of “The Raven”.

October Reflections: Best of Treehouse of Horror – This list starts at the beginning and, understandably, craps out real quick once Zombie Simpsons gets started.

The Simpsons Theme. – Awesome Bart graffiti in Houston.

The 7 Greatest Drunks in Nerddom – Barney checks in at #7 here, and there’s a decent YouTube video of some of his greatest antics, but I need to quibble with this:

Whenever The Simpsons is mentioned these days, an argument inevitably breaks out about whether of not the show should finally be put out of its misery. Regardless of whatever side you take on this issue, one thing everybody should be able to agree upon is that Barney Gumble can still elicit laughs with every slurred sentence and comedically placed burp he utters. That may not seem like too much, but at 24 seasons it you take the funny where you can get it.

I certainly appreciate the desire to not get into a Zombie Simpsons flame war if one can be avoided, but lest ye forget, Barney’s been pretty short on slurred sentences ever since they made him sober way back in Season 11.  I think he may have started drinking again once or twice in there, but who cares?

Dreamscape Forum – Simpsons, Meet the Simpsons … – Reader Jon sends in a writeup of a Simpsons dream he had:

I suddenly find myself in an episode of the Simpsons, sort of. I am standing in the living room of the Simpsons’ house on Evergreen Terrace. Bart and Milhouse are running around playing, but they are being watched by Lois Griffin in a fairly skimpy and quite lacy slip. The kids are doing something they shouldn’t, or talking about something they’ve done that is really terrible (along the lines of literal attempted murder or worse), and some sort of voice-over narrator is talking about a hidden camera in the very roof of the house that is going to catch everything.

It gets weirder from there because, hey, it’s a dream.  I still like it better than Zombie Simpsons.  Thanks, Jon!

You Can’t Swim From Your Problems, Homer – This is why you can’t trust closed captioning:

Incorrect Under the Sea

Marge actually says, “Homer, that’s your solution to everything, to move under the sea.  It’s not gonna happen.”  Minor, I know, but still.

Frankenweenie…In 10 Words – Cullen, Rayburn, Narz, Trebek!

Looper…In 10 Words – Oh, I wish I wish I hadn’t killed that fish.

The Most Influential Modern TV Shows that Already Changed Your Life – Heh:

They’ve spoofed so many things that it is possible to skip the book, and even the two-hour movie version. And that, ladies and gentleman, is how I passed 11th grade English. So thank you, The Simpsons. Without you, I’d have been stuck reading Shakespeare.

5 one-sentence reviews of ‘The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XXIII,’ ‘The Cleveland Show,’ ‘Bob’s Burgers,’ ‘Family Guy’ and ‘American Dad’ – More heh:

4. Bart spoofs “Back to the Future” and travels back to 1979, a year in which “The Simpsons” were still funny.

Not So Scary Scarecrows – A scarecrow festival in Britain includes a Simpsons installment.  Homer, Marge and Maggie look pretty good, Bart and Lisa, not so much.

Melodic, Rhythmic, Harmonic… Transformations. – A brief review of the movie’s soundtrack.

The Simpsons – Duffman Classic Muscle Adult Costume – A truly craptacular Duffman Halloween costume:

Terrible Duffman Costume

Duffman is not a difficult homemade costume.  I’ve seen at least two that were way better than this.

The Simpsons Bart Simpson Deluxe Costume – This, though, is worse:

Terrible Bart Costume

Those pants look hideously uncomfortable and chintzy. 

Simpsons Duffwoman Medium Costume Dress Size 8-10 – And the costumed grotesqueries just keep on coming:

Terrible Duffwoman Costume

Joyrich x Simpsons World Tokyo Collection – Remember that fashion designer who slapped Bart on a bunch of things?  Here’s some of them.

Photo366: October 8-9, 2012 – Speaking of Simpsons on clothing, here’s someone’s Homer pajamas.

Think It Over Thursday – 10.11.12 – Comparing and voting on The Simpsons, Family Guy, and South Park.  As always, I blame Zombie Simpsons for the fact that this is even a conversation.

Family Guy vs. The Simpsons – See above.

A parallel universe – And while we’re on the subject of Griffins and Simpsons, a slightly disturbing crossover image of Homer as Peter and Peter as Homer.

The Top 10 Hottest Babies – Don’t worry, this isn’t a pedophile list, it’s a list of kickass fictional babies, with Maggie coming in at #4, just below Harry Potter and above Stewie Griffin.

Compare and contrast two versions of The Simpsons, and contemplate your own, inevitable decay – For a second I was really hopeful the A.V. Club had stolen my bit, sadly that’s not the case.  Happily, the brief writeup does agree with us:

Sure, one day it’s all “Gabbo!” this and “Gabbo!” that, but before you know it, 20 years have passed and you’re left clutching at the straws of theoretical physics and Robert Zemeckis movies to fill out your once anticipated, now grudgingly tolerated yearly Halloween anthology.

‘The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror’ for 2012 – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

For a couple of decades, “The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror” was an annual ritual in my household. Even after we weren’t watching the show regularly, we would tune in each October (sometimes November, when Fox pre-empted the show for post-season baseball) to see the yearly collection of horror and sci-fi parody shorts.

So we watched the show this week. And yes, this is another of those “‘The Simpsons’ isn’t as funny as it used to be” entries.

Trust me when I say you can never have too many of those.

10 Responses to “Reading Digest: Terrible Costumes Edition”

  1. 12 October 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Cheers for the mention! Love your site, keep up the good work =)

  2. 2 Chris
    12 October 2012 at 2:47 pm

    “Jeff Gordon makes a brief celebrity cameo [on SUN 10/21] to make fun of our penchant for brief celebrity cameos.” – Al Jean (The Simpsons exec. producer)

    I don’t even know what to say about this. It’s like, we know our own annoying tendencies and we’re proud of it. Please, everyone, I’m begging you, please stop watching this show. If you have to watch the Simpsons at 7 on Sunday night, put in a DVD from seasons 1-8. Let’s stop even acknowledging this show still exists.

    At this point, it’s not even beating a dead horse. It’s more like, the guy who was beating the dead horse is dead, and now we’re beating on him. This show is so far gone you’d need Skinner’s telescope from Bart’s Comet to find it.

    • 3 Anonymous
      13 October 2012 at 4:16 pm

      The rod up this show’s ass must have a rod up its ass, perhaps?

    • 4 abra cadaver
      15 October 2012 at 8:43 am

      Great comment, for many reasons. That Al Jean quote is ridiculous because they’ve already done THE EXACT SAME JOKE — or some variation thereof — many times before. Hell, in the “I Like to Walk” song, Steve Buscemi shows up (for no real, logical reason), says a line or two, gives Homer tickets to Sundance, dances, and leaves. I thought that was enough to say “we got this celeb who is cool, we had him do nothing for no reason, and leave, isn’t that amusing?” Calling attention to their tendencies, as you said, makes it far more unamusing… and unfunny.

      I don’t get Al Jean. I watched “Lisa’s Sax” yesterday and was like, ‘Wow, man. Al Jean. This is a great episode. Good guy who made this.’ But man he’s really pissed all over the good things he’s done since the days he used to write good episodes.

  3. 5 Anonymous
    12 October 2012 at 3:04 pm

    “to move under the sea” has been going around the facebook for some time. I stopped correcting people after a while. Mainly because it made me look like an asshole. Even though I was right.

  4. 13 October 2012 at 2:05 am

    Great moments from Homer at the Bat, 16 through 25:

    16. “Will I be able to play baseball again?” “No, by tomorrow, you’ll barely be able to breathe.”
    17. Still taking pictures while falling into a bottomless pit.
    18. Homer perpetually scratching his balls.
    19. Playing the percentages by replacing a major league player with Homer, and the implication that Homer is the reason they barely won.
    20. Homer covering himself in metal and running under a tree during a thunderstorm.
    21. Homer’s magic bat being destroyed.
    22. Every murder in New York being blamed on one guy.
    23. Lenny and Carl’s lax attitude about nuclear safety.
    24. Burns’s ridiculous signals.
    25. Burns being hypnotized.

  5. 15 October 2012 at 8:37 am

    Thanks for the mention, I really think the ‘Movie’ soundtrack is awesome. ;)

  6. 8 abra cadaver
    15 October 2012 at 8:49 am

    As lame as that Bart costume is, I do find it amusing he’s wearing red converse one stars since I was wearing the same exact shoes while looking at that picture. Stupid thing but kinda “ohhh. neat.” And then I looked at the rest of the costume. And I also thought, ‘Hmm. He wears blue shoes, you know.’ Sigh.

    • 9 abra cadaver
      15 October 2012 at 8:55 am

      Huh. And Duffman is wearing red converse ALL stars……….

      This reminds me of that horror movie ‘the ice cream man’ where literally EVERY FUCKING CHARACTER has converse all stars on (many of them being red versions of the shoe, btw). Like 50 pairs of converses on the movie. Weird. Cool shoes but kinda weird.

  7. 10 Anonymous
    10 November 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Dayum, Marge looks fine here.

    I know what I’m fapping to tonight!

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