Quote of the Day

“I hope you all saved room, because I made your favorite dessert: store bought snake cakes, both kinds.” – Marge Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Looks like your uncool Dad scored tickets to Hullabalooza!” – Homer Simpson
“Bart, these look real.” – Lisa Simpson
“Check the authenticator spot.” – Bart Simpson
“This is an authentic Hullabalooza ticket.  For authentic refreshment, eat Clark bars.  And for totally outrageous class rings, it’s Jostons; go Jostons.” – Authenticator Spot

Reading Digest: The Homer Edition

“Dad?” – Bart Simpson
“What is it, boy?” – Homer Simpson
“I thought your car was really cool.” – Bart Simpson
“Thanks, boy.  I was waiting for someone to say that.” – Homer Simpson

I put Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week up on Twitter yesterday because some things are too much fun to wait for Friday.  We’ve got three links to it, and if you’re anywhere near Buttonwillow, California tomorrow, you can see it in person.  In addition to that, we’ve got two links involving the old Simpsons arcade game, a molester-y Simpsons van, some excellent fan made stuff, and a couple of pieces of unconventional music.

Enjoy.

FINALLY: Homer Simpson-Designed Car ‘The Homer’ Comes to Life – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this writeup of the Homer:

As you can see in the above video, the team at Porcubimmer Motors has taken the bold, bold steps of making The Homer a reality. What’s more, it’s a race car. The team will be racing The Homer at the 24 Hours of LeMons race on June 29 in Buttonwillow, California.

The Homer – a 24 Hours of LeMons race car – And this is their homepage.  Worth the click solely for the “PorcuBimmer”, “The BMW with the pricks on the outside!”.  Ha. 

The Homer – David Moore – Fancy photographs of the car that literally has “Powerful like a Gorilla” written on the engine. 

19 of the worst bootleg Bart Simpson T-shirts – Some of these are truly atrocious, but the Compton Bart with the thug life tattoo is very good. 

EXCLUSIVE EDSBS PREVIEW: NCAA 14 – College football’s home for the emotionally interesting takes a look at this year’s video game through avant-garde Simpsons expressionism. 

IT’S SIMPSONS TRIVIA TIME FOLKS! – I doubt many readers of this site will have trouble with this quiz wherein you must match the quote to the person who said it, but there’s no Zombie Simpsons at all, so it’s fun anyway. 

French Electro DJs Simpsonized! – Fan art of just what it says, though Daft Punk does kind of come pre-Simpsonized, what with the helmets and such.

The Simpsons’ Bacon Love – Bacon on the show.  There is some Zombie Simpsons here, but it’s okay:

I do love The Simpsons. Maybe not the last couple seasons as much as the ones before, but I it’s a lifetime love I just can’t give up on.

Man With a Yellow Octopus on His Head Resembles Homer Simpson – Fan art of a mollusk nature.

For $1,200, Choo-Choo-Choose The Simpsons Bus – A rather creepy looking custom Simpsons van. 

Bart Simpson breaks down Gus Poyet’s TV live sacking in super slo-mo – I don’t know the context or even who this guy is, but that is excellent video usage.

Review: World War Z – Excellent review usage:

Unfortunately, World War Z manages to dig this genre a deeper grave with this gutsy, but ultimately banal attempt, best summarised in the style of The Simpsons’ Troy McClure:

I hate every zombie film I see,
From World War A to World War Z

Josh joins the bridal party – And here’s excellent “Man of Honor” usage, in YouTube format:

I could write a whole thing about how happy I am for Steph and Mike, but it would be my wedding speech and then I’d have nothing to say in Scotland, except for this:

Well played, sir.  Well played. 

Movie Review: No 3. The Godfather: Part II – Nothing wrong with this:

I liked it, but in my state of delirium the practicalities of “liking” this film centred more around recognising more Simpsons references, brushing up on my Cuban history, and comparing it to ‘Arrested Development’.

I’ve watched a lot of movies I otherwise never would’ve seen without the show, and I’m not alone. 

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 38) – Okay, but I’m only paid to drive.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 39) – The driver is essentially ballast. 

Do the Bartman Yoshi’s Island Combined Audio – Reader Chase sends in this 90s nostalgia speedball. 

Close up look at The Simpsons collection by Converse! – Someone bought the Bart Simpson Converse shoes and posted pictures so detailed you can see the stitching. 

50 Simpsons Quotes without Context – Just what it says.  “Can I come too? . . . oh.” 

The 20 best comedies in TV history – The show comes in at a mere #6 here.

The Simpsons Arcade Game! – Ports and emulations are nice, but you lose the hands on feel you only get with a heavily worn arcade machine. 

A Quick Look At The Simpsons Expansion At Universal Orlando – Just what it says, a quick YouTube look at the new area.

Richard Matheson R.I.P. – Now that’s a body of work!

Monsters University…In 10 Words – Nerds!

World War Z…In 10 Words – Homer, did you barricade the door? 

Betty White’s Off Their Rockers…In 10 Words – But will she put teenagers where they belong, behind bars?

Paula Deen…In 10 Words – Remember, son, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. 

The NBA Draft…In 10 Words – They may not be Harvey Globetrotters, but they sure can play the basketball. 

2003 – The Simpsons: Hit and Run – Was it the best game of ten years ago?  Maybe.

Wait, What Was This Blog About Again? – Taking jogging inspiration from Homer’s great “look at that blubber fly!” quote, with YouTube.

Balmoral: Saturday 6/22 Analysis – By reading this grown-ups newspaper, I’ve determined that there is a horse called Krusty the Klown:

Race 5

(5) VAN DONK gelding makes his second career start off a huge effort and should offer a nice price.  (6) KRUSTY THE CLOWN Indiana bred would have been my top choice had he had a different pilot.  The 3-year-old is fast off the gate if he’s on it.  (7) TANGIBLE HOPE gelding makes his second start for the new connections.  Five-year-old dominated wire to wire but takes a hike up in class.

FOX Announces Fall Premiere Dates For The 2013-2014 Season – Don’t mark your calendars everybody, new Zombie Simpsons returns to haunt us on September 29th.  The good news is that we still have three months to not care! 

Cartoonists quick on the draw – Some praise for Archer contains this obvious truth:

It has long been my belief that among the plethora of excellent animated comedies that have exploded onto screens in the past couple of decades or so, five stood above all as benchmarks of the genre: The Simpsons, the king of them all;

Amen.

Quote of the Day

“A massive tanker has run aground on the central coastline, spilling millions of gallons of oil on Baby Seal Beach.” – Kent Brockman
“Oh, no!” – Lisa Simpson
“It’ll be okay, honey, there’s lots more oil where that came from.” – Homer Simpson

Margical History Tour Makes Baby Jesus Cry

“Remember, Bart, I mean, Dances in Underwear, we take the white man alive.” – Lisa Simpson
“Alright, Thinks Too Much, it shall be so.” – Bart Simpson

As per usual with Zombie Simpsons commentaries, the actual episode is incidental to the conversation.  In this case, it’s one of those three part story episodes, the first is about Henry VIII, the second is about Sacajawea, and the third about Mozart.  They mostly discuss books and movies related to the actual historical figures rather than what’s going on here, but that’s to be expected since the actual episode is a parade of bad slapstick about which the less said the better. 

Nine guys on this one: Jean, Mike Anderson, Stewart Burns, Matt Selman, Tim Long, Ian Maxtone-Graham, Tom Gammill, Max Pross, and Brian Kelley.

0:30 – Jean starts off defending the trilogy episodes, half joking that he knew it was the only way they’d make it to 500 episodes. 

1:30 – They always have a hard time coming up with female stories that everybody knows, but this one was easy with Sacajawea. 

2:30 – The animators like these episodes because they finally get to draw the characters a little differently.

3:40 – To get the backgrounds for the castle they had interns photocopy stuff from libraries because there was no internet. 

4:00 – Jean’s continuing to praise the internet as a television writing tool, noting that it used to be a real pain to look stuff up.

5:10 – And just like that, they’ve gotten bored with the episode and are now discussing the novel Wolf Hall.

6:00 – Laughing at serial beheadings.

7:00 – Interesting animation note: before digital color they had like 19 colors that they had to use for the whole show. 

8:00 – Couple of desultory Sacajawea jokes.

9:30 – The Lisa/Sacajawea thing is going on, but they’re discussing a Sacajawea book and the actual Lewis & Clark trip.  Meanwhile, a log cabin just fell on Moe.

10:30 – With little to note of interest besides the animation, a small puddle reminds Jean of his favorite joke from The Flintstones, “They went to the Grand Canyon which was just this tiny little stream and Fred goes, ‘Well, it’s supposed to be big someday.’”.

10:45 – And we move right from that into, “Another thing in that book about Lewis & Clark . . .” 

11:45 – Tip for all you animators out there, if you’ve got something expansive and flat like a field of grass, put some patches of visible blades in it or some rocks or something.  Makes it look less flat.

13:00 – And after talking about those Sacajawea coins nobody uses for awhile, now they’re talking about all those state quarters. 

13:30 – Once the quarter discussion dies down, it’s time for Jean to note that the third segment involves Mozart which means they didn’t have to pay for the music.

14:00 – While Bart picks up the piano and plays it with his teeth, Jean notes that the movie Amadeus wasn’t very historically accurate.  Discussion wise this is more interesting than most of these commentaries, but it has very little to do with what’s actually happening in the episode.

14:30 – There’s a new Mozart book coming out! 

15:40 – “The other thing that was not true about Amadeus . . .”

17:10 – Jean with the helpful note that the melody is Eine kleine Nachtmusik.

17:45 – When you have crowd shots with people moving independently, that’s a real pain to animate.

18:45 – They’re very bored now.  Dr. Nick just showed up to put leeches on Bart, and Jean starts talking about how that really did kill people if they let out too much blood.

19:10 – To get the candles to glow you animated the centers independently and do a pass over it two or three times. 

20:10 – Jean jokes that they go through “four, maybe five ideas” before getting the three they do.  Heh.

21:20 – And now, because Mozart was in Animal House and this episode did a brief “here’s what happened” thing, we’re talking about how brilliant Animal House was and how endings like that got overused for a while. 

Quote of the Day

“Please don’t ruin this for me, Bart.  I think he’s starting to like me.” – Lisa Simpson
“Milhouse likes you.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, please, Milhouse likes Vaseline on toast.” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Mr. Brockman, I need your help.  I’ve got to become a great anchor so I can show up my sister.” – Bart Simpson
“Sister, huh?  I’ve got a sister, miss big shot CNN Washington correspondent.  Pfft!  Well, she’s not the boss of me!  Come in.” – Kent Brockman

Quote of the Day

“After the supermarket, we’ll go to the video store, grab a Krusty burger, and head for the arcade.” – Bart Simpson
“Bart, Grampa’s a kindly old man who trusts us.  Are you sure it’s right to take advantage of him?” – Lisa Simpson
“Lis, in these crazy, topsy-turvy times, who’s to say what’s right or wrong?  But right now, my gut’s telling me: bleed Gramps dry.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Hand over all your money in a paper bag!” – Not Krusty
“Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery.  I do work in a convenience store, you know.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Quote of the Day

“Egad, a monster!” – Settler #1
“It’s a horrible fiend!” – Settler #2
“It’s some sort of land cow.” – Settler #3

Reading Digest: Saturday Supplemental

“After sixteen glorious seasons, the Green Bay faithful bid farewell to Brian Bartlett Starr.” – TV Announcer
“Hmm, I keep thinking I’m forgetting something.” – Homer Simpson
“Bart!  Bart!  Bart!  Bart!” – Green Bay Faithful

As I went to post yesterday’s Reading Digest, I had that nagging feeling in the back of my head that I was forgetting something.  As is often the case, it was there because I was indeed forgetting something.  In this case, two somethings that were e-mailed to me and which managed to get lost in the shuffle:

Tales From The First Decadian Simpsonites – From commenter Thrillho comes this excellent link to minor internet darling Mara Wilson’s tale of television future:

Then came the MacFarlanders. They were not as fierce as the Parkerstoners, nor did they have the strength of beliefs. What they did have, was their speed, their stamina, and their talent for distraction. One would lob a popular cultural artifact at a Parkerstoner, and the other would ambush him. “They were pillagers,” the Elderlisa said.

Ha!  The whole thing isn’t that long, and it’s quite clever. 

The 25 Best Onetime "Simpsons" Characters – And from our old friend Conor comes this perfectly cromulent list.  There are a lot of good quotes and nothing past Season 8.  (But, come on, no Brad Goodman?)

Just as a reminder, Google Alerts can’t be everywhere, so if you see something Simpsons related on-line, please drop me a note.  I usually remember to include them.

Quote of the Day

“Hey, Simpson, wanna trade belts?” – Jimbo Jones
“Well, not really, cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.” – Bart Simpson
“Hey, dude, he’s ragging on your cord.” – Kearney
“Get him.” – Jimbo Jones

Reading Digest: Foreign food Edition

“Well, I haven’t talked it over with the family, but I think we’d all like a free dinner at Americatown.” – Homer Simpson

This week we’ve got a couple of reports about the real Duff in Floreda, but we’ve also got people getting bootleg Duff in South America, a Spanish restaurant chain with an illegal Simpsons theme, and a Belgian chain with a legal one.  In addition to that, we’ve got a couple of lists, George Meyer, Mike Reiss selling shit to NBC, and a new punk album named after the show.  Enjoy.

‘Krasty Burger’ hits Fuengirola on the Costa del Sol in Spain (Includes first-hand account) – Good food, dubious legality, and lots of pictures.

Quick Launches Homer Simpson-Themed ‘Donut Burgers’ and ‘Les Cheesy Donuts’ – Novelty Menus – A Belgian fast food chain is doing Simpsons food this summer, and you can tell they’re European and not American because who the fuck wants to share:

The cheesy donuts are "small mouthfuls" of a cheddar dough that’s been stuffed with cheddar fondue. They come in servings of three or in servings of eight, which Quick intends for people to share.

Sharing is a bunch of crap. 

“We’ve Been Accused Of Starting Riots”: A Bad-Ass Conversation With Japanther – Awesome:

How do you talk about a band with a huge cult following — a band that’s equal parts performance art, politics, and punk? Their most recent LP Eat Like Lisa Act Like Bart, out now on Recess Records, is a ravenous romp through in-your-face punk politics.

Cool.

NECA & 20th Century Fox Announce Limited Edition SIMPSONS Merchandise Program – Ah, nothing says quality pageviews like repurposing the press release and doing so to such an extent that the little “about” thing is the only part of the article that spills onto the second page.  Also, more crappy merchandise is coming our way, but that’s hardly news.

Cannes Lions: Mondelez senior vice president of marketing & comms Dana Anderson talks client/agency relationships and pitching – For a guy who hates advertising, this seems like a dubious honor:

"I want you to think about collaboration and the power of being one instead of two," she stated of the mentality for agencies and clients alike.

Of generosity she highlighted the work of George Myers, a writer for The Simpsons who she said shared his jokes with other writers and refused a credit on the show for 10 years, which inspired his team, in order to show its success. She also compared the world of marketing to that of comedy, comparing the comedian’s unspoken rule if showing appreciation for one another while on stage together

Of course, it’d also be nice if they could bother to spell his name right. 

What’s Going to Come After The Simpsons? – Our old friend Charles Kenny (and some commenters) ponder the future of the show.

BEWARE: 9/11 and (now) 6/22 Terrorism foretold in “The Simpsons” – Some numerically obsessed (but, one suspects, statistically ignorant) conspiracy nuts think bad things are going to happen tomorrow.  I’d only add that bad things were supposed to happen three years ago as well. 

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing. – Two screen shots of the overly sarcastic kids from “Homerpalooza”.  I never noticed before, but there’s a guy behind them wearing a Dr. Zaius t-shirt. 

Devil’s Advocate – Thoughtful discussion of religion and morality on The Simpsons and on a show called God, the Devil and Bob, which I do not remember at all and which NBC apparently canned after only four episodes. 

A Challenge I Can Do – Taking stock of challenges because sometimes, like Lisa, you just want the ones you can do. 

“Melts in your Mouth…” – I’m sorry, we were talking about chocolate . . .

Surrounded by chocolate, I was in my happy zone.  Just picture the following:  colourful rows of bulk M&M candies, M&M ice-cream bars, individually-wrapped chocolate, and even candy-inspired memorabilia present in surplus volume.  Being in a chocolate shop was fun, as it reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Homer dreams of life in chocolate.

. . . that was ten minutes ago!

Evan and Gordon Talk: Fat People – Lotta good .gifs here, though one of them is from Zombie Simpsons. 

‘Simpsons’ Producer Lands ‘How Murray Saved Christmas’ Special at NBC – The kids book Reiss wrote is getting picked up as a 1-hour special by NBC.  Congratulations. 

Sideshow Bob and Krusty the Clown meet guests at The Simpsons Ride in Universal Orlando – Want to see two people in costumes on YouTube?  Here you go.

Moe’s Tavern, I just want Moe of it – Another first hand report from the new theme park section, this one with lots of pictures.

‘Simpsons’ Duff Beer starts flowing at Unviersal Orlando’s Springfield – Unsurprising:

Unofficially, Duff has existed for years, thanks to cheeky, copyright-skirting brewers around the world. But this is the first version sanctioned by The Simpsons. Reportedly brewed by Melbourne’s Florida Brewing Co. — Universal honchos won’t say for sure — it’s available in three variations: Duff, Duff Lite and Duff Dry. (Sorry, fans, you’ll have to wait for Duff Blue, Duff Extra Cold and Henry K. Duff’s Private Reserve.)

Park officials are calling it a "craft beer," which is technically true, but don’t go in expecting bold, hoppy flavors or notes of vanilla or burnt caramel. Duff is light, malty and not particularly strong; reviewers have compared it to Yuengling, Keystone Light and Budweiser.

To be fair, Duff isn’t exactly supposed to be great beer.  It’s supposed to be cheap, which it certainly won’t be at an amusement park.

¡Ay, caramba! Twentieth Century Fox applies for alcoholic Duff Beer – FOX applied for a Duff brand beer trademark in Australia.  That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to start selling Duff Beer anywhere outside the theme park, but if they were this is what they would do. 

10 Funny Photos From the Road – And, speaking of the Southern Hemisphere, check out this photo from Chile of a woman drinking Duff with Homer himself.  As she writes:

Chileans have quite an obsession with The Simpsons. The paraphernalia can be found everywhere and apparently so can Homer himself.

See, FOX, why would you be against that? 

A 10 Word Tribute to James Gandolfini – Hey, I like this kid.  I can’t believe we were gonna shoot him. 

Man of Steel…In 10 Words – We want to stay as far away from the campy 70s version as we can.  (Despite the ludicrous death toll at the end, I liked this movie.  It’s really stupid in places and takes too long, and it’ll never be a classic, but I saw it twice in the theater because . . . damn, those are the most big screen worthy effects I’ve seen in years.  It’s a shame they wasted Kevin Spacey in Superman 5 because someone is going to have a career defining role as Lex Luthor in Superman 7.) 

Airheads (movie)…In 10 Words – Mad Jon and I get drunk and watch this every so often because it is great and terribly overlooked.  (The cast is lousy with “that guy!”s: Fat Tony, Kramer, Michael McKean, Marshall Bell, Norman from The Wire, David Arquette, Judd Nelson and two Ghostbusters!)  Plus, when releasing one of the hostages he’s taken with a squirt gun, Brendan Fraser says this:

Yvonne, get your shit and go.  You’ll be home in time for the Simpsons.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf…In 10 Words – I won’t buy it until I can raise Grasshopperus.

What do you do on your fiftieth revision? – The dangers of endless rewrites from our old friend Alec Nevala-Lee:

When you’ve read these scenes as many times as I have, there’s a natural tendency to get a little tired of what you’ve written, and with it comes the temptation to make changes just so you can look at something new. And that’s dangerous. I’m often reminded of what the legendary showrunner David Mirkin said of his time on The Simpsons: when you’ve rewritten a joke thirty times, you stop laughing, and it’s important to remember how funny it was when you first heard it. Otherwise, you’ll end up changing it at the last minute, and the new version is rarely as good as it was on the twenty-ninth or thirtieth read.

That’s as solid a case for half-assing things as I’ve ever heard.

Dag 134 – A giant yellow Homer t-shirt.

Top 10 Fictional Fathers (Father’s Day Special) – Homer comes in at #5, with his old nemesis Cliff Huxtable reigning supreme at #1.

Our Eternal Father – Click through for a rather appropriate Homer cartoon. 

My Dad… (part 3) – Duffman is on this list, but I prefer Zapp Brannigan’s “My dad has wave upon wave of your dad at his disposal.”

Reason #13 – My cooking skills – Animated (reversed) .gif of Homer setting the breakfast flakes on fire.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 33) – Here’s a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.  Enjoy.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 34) – Heh, forgot about this:

From the commentary, after the joke about Christo’s umbrellas killing someone:
Matt Groening: “There was some hesitation over that joke.”
George Meyer: “Maybe there should have been more.”

Who’d win in a wrestling match, Meyer or God?  Trick question, dickhead, Meyer is God.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 35) – How do I use the pressure cooker?  Don’t!

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 36) – But because these are are children’s toys, the fire will spread quickly, so please stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes.

20 Greatest Comedies of All Time. – Blame Zombie Simpsons:

Ok we all know that the shows quality has dropped off drastically from the early years, but it really is hard to keep up that level of quality.

That is why the Simpsons is no.6 on this list, for the early episodes, the good years.  Not the years where we receive endless pointless celebrity cameos or pointless trips to foreign lands (why would you leave Springfield it’s great).

[…]

The sad part however, is the question of if the Simpsons finished 10 years ago would it be higher up the list?  And the sad answer is yes.

Damn you, Zombie Simpsons! 

My Top Ten Simpsons Episodes – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us in list form:

Although the series has perhaps gone down hill in recent years the classic era of The Simpsons still has to be marveled at. This is reflected in all of my choices for my top ten episodes being from Seasons 3-8.

Lotta good quotes there.

Quote of the Day

“Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back, but we’ve also expanded into other important areas: literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination.” – Homer Simpson
“World domination?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, that might be a typo.” – Homer Simpson
“Mental note: the girl knows too much.” – Homer’s Brain

Quote of the Day

“Attention families, this is Mother Goose, the following cars have been broken into.” – Mother Goose

Happy birthday Tress MacNeille!

Quote of the Day

“Homer, what’s with you?  You’re talking during a coffee break.” – Lenny
“Yeah, usually you just take the box of donuts into the bathroom.” – Carl

Quote of the Day

“What are they saying?” – Milhouse van Houten
“I’m not sure.” – Bart Simpson
“I thought you said you could read lips.” – Milhouse van Houten
“I assumed I could.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Lisa, what’s the answer to number seven?” – Ralph Wiggum
“Sorry, Ralph, that would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.” – Lisa Simpson
“My cat’s name is Mittens.” – Ralph Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“What’s that?” – Homer Simpson
“That is the rarest Gummy of them all: the Gummy Venus de Milo, carved by Gummy artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummy.” – Candy Convention Guy

Quote of the Day

“Movie For a Rained-Out Ballgame now returns to Dyan Cannon, Troy McClure, and the Muppets in the 1977 film, The Muppets Go Medieval.” – TV Announcer