Reading Digest: Head Art Edition

“Marge, what does it do?” – Homer Simpson
“It doesn’t do anything.” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, really, what does it do?” – Homer Simpson
“Whatever it does, it’s doing it now.” – Marge Simpson

This week we’ve got two links to serious artists making Simpsons heads.  One is Bart made from old toys and is appropriately creepy, and the other is a series of awesome Krusty drawings that I’m not even going to try to describe.  In addition to that, we’ve got an excellent Ralph t-shirt, Olympic and international cricket usage, a completed Lisa cross stitch, a great first family portrait, several people who agree with us, Lego YouTube, and lots more.

Enjoy.

Animating the Show – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this detailed breakdown of animating for TV.  I learned stuff today.

UTBNYC Announces The Next Piece In Pez’s “Distroy” Series: “Skrutchy” – A few months ago we had a link to a project by an artist called Pez doing wonderfully elaborate renderings of characters like Homer and Mickey Mouse.  Well, the Homer ones are done and they’ve moved on to create some awesomely creepy Krustys.  Damn cool and well worth the click.

Baby Names I Want to Use From The Simpsons – I’d vote for Hortence or Langdon.

The Simpsons – The show that was a huge part of my growing up yet now I completely ignore, kind of like my family. – Good move:

For me it all ended years ago, I live in a world where they took the Seinfeld route and quit while they were ahead. I look back with only the fondest memories to the earlier seasons. The newer seasons I refuse to acknowledge.

My Top Twenty Favourite Sitcoms Of All Time – From the same blog as the above link, this is a great entry:

1. The Simpsons (Season 1-11)

It makes the top of many people’s lists, but most don’t think to exclude Zombie Simpsons right in the title.  Bravo.

Are you alive? – After you click, scroll to the bottom to see the sweet, sweet photographic evidence:

My dearest friend in the whole wide world had a birthday recently. And, as she invited all of us to celebrate, we all canceled… I told her I had a conference to go to. Then we surprised her with a party anyways! As known die-hard Simpsons fans, naturally the cake was dedicated to “A Whale of a Wife.” We added “and a Super Friend” because, well, we aren’t all married to her.

9 Simpsons Facts to Satisfy the Biggest Fans!! – YouTube – There’s nothing terribly new here, but it’s very lite on Zombie Simpsons and mildly amusing.  (via @dailysimpsons)

Happy 2nd Birthday Tapped Out. – A little reminiscing from the writers of tstogame.com.  I particularly liked Micah’s:

TSTO has been a pleasure. It’s been a pain. It’s been fun, but it’s also been a drain.Rapper Bart
My index finger has become strapping from these past two years of tapping.

Speed skating: U.S. pursuit teams fail, medal hopes over – At least he’s got a sense of humor about it:

The U.S. team had predicted they were capable of winning eight medals prior to the Games but after Saturday’s failings meant all 17 members of the team ended empty handed, Davis offered a blunt assessment.

“If I could do a parody from a Simpson’s character, I would pick Comic Book Guy and he would say in these exact words: “WORST OLYMPICS EVER,” Davis told reporters of the long-running U.S. television show about an animated dysfunctional family.

Excellent Olympian reference.

Artist Turns Old Toys into Creepy Faces and Human Forms – Scroll down for an awesome Bart head.  (via It’s Hip)

La famille Simpsons – This is a new Simpsons site based in Quebec that’s cataloging people, places and news from the show.  Those of you who speak or read French better than I will probably get more out of it, but it’s neat nevertheless.

Need – Oh, dear Jebus, yes!  That may be the best Ralph t-shirt design I’ve ever seen.

feeling safer now – Neighborhood watch, indeed.

Round 102: When You Dish Upon a Star vs. Boy-Scoutz ‘n the Hood – Season 5 in a walk:

And it’s only in the context of the tournament that I find flaws with it, but I’ll go into them (hint: it starts with an “H” and ends with “omer is too much of a jerk”) when we see 1F06 again, because…

… the winner is: 1F06, “Boy-Scoutz ‘n the Hood.”

Celebrating The Simpsons’ retired characters – This is a pretty weak list.  They don’t even have Marvin Monroe or Bleeding Gums on here.  (But they were never popular.)

Lisa Cross Stitch Complete! – Just what it says.  Love the eyeroll.

The Simpsons’ Nancy Cartwright coming home to Dayton – Cartwright will be in Central Ohio next weekend:

Cartwright,  a 1976 graduate of Dayton’s Fairmont West High School, will narrate Norton Juster’s classic ”The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics” while conductor Neal Gittleman leads the orchestra playing Robert Xavier Rodriguez’s composition.

The Philharmonic also will play Weber’s “Der Freischütz Overture” and Tchaikovsky’s “Winter Dreams” from “Symphony No. 1.”

Cartwright also promises to conduct “a very special piece of music.” (My guess is that fans of “The Simpsons” hear this musical selection at the start of every show.) Aye carumba!

13 Diddly-Doo Details in the Lego ‘Simpsons’ House Set – Lots of detailed pictures and this YouTube video of the entire 10-hour assembly process sped up to 2 minutes:

Top 5 Feminist Icons in Television – Lisa comes in at a healthy #2.

The Simpsons: Tapped Out – A Nostalgic, Delightful Simulator – A nice review of the game with lots of screen grabs.  Also, this:

For now, I’ll keep saving up money to build Rainier Wolfcastle’s mansion.  Up and at them!

That thing was damned expensive.

Why is Homer Simpson Yellow (And Why It Doesn’t Matter, Kinda)? – This was always part of his charm:

Once the viewer acclimates to his skin tone, she will soon realize that Homer’s design is intentionally unremarkable; he is meant to represent the average middle-aged white collar middle class (as evidenced by his white-collared shirt).

But he’s just an ordinary blue collar slob!

The Accidental Artist – A fan drawn Sideshow Bob by someone who usually can’t draw.  (It’s still much better than I could do.)

Australia doze at wrong moment – Excellent cricket reference:

Unable to find his permission slip to join the rest of Springfield Elementary on their afternoon trip to the chocolate factory, Bart Simpson is consigned to the numbing task of licking envelopes in the office of Principal Skinner. As he does so, the wall clock ticks slowly and tortuously towards 3pm and the end of the school day. Losing momentum with every stroke, it eventually begins to tick backwards.

Something of Bart’s interminable wait ensnared Australia on the second day in Port Elizabeth, as they were frustrated and ultimately brought to heel by a South African side well attuned to playing Test matches at the kind of deliberate pace unfamiliar to, and unloved by, the touring captain Michael Clarke and coach Darren Lehmann.

Pizza Snob: Pies in the Sky – Nice pizza reference:

If you accept what’s implied by the signage near Pizza Snob’s front door, putting more than four toppings on your pie is trés gauche. It’s probably even boorish, the pizza-enthusiast equivalent of Homer Simpson yelling at Bachman Turner Overdrive to skip their new material and go directly to the chorus of “Taking Care of Business.”

Some boots were not made for walking. – The sad tale of a college student who got her car booted.  Smartly, she did not resort to any of Homer’s un-booting methods, but she did include a .gif of them at the link.

Simpsons – Nothing but cats (gif) – Exactly what it says.

Homer Loading Bar – Another excellent .gif.

The Simpsons Can Ward Off Any Bad Spirit – This is definitely true:

If you are looking for a good way to have a chill pill watching a few episodes of The Simpsons is where it’s at. They ward off bad spirits.

The politics of Homer Simpson – Heh.

Random Simpsons Screencap of the Day 2/21/14 – Heh again.

Our first family portrait… – Expectant Mother gets her new family Simpsonized for $5.

The Simpsons x Medicom Toy Bart & Homer Simpson Bearbricks – Conquering Lego wasn’t enough.

Why so many guest stars? – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us in an epic anti-guest star rant:

Of course, there’s one thing we have to blame for all this. The veritable army of guest stars is a sign of the end, because the main problem with the show is that the writers can’t make an original episode with a well-written plot anymore without it already having been done before. In this situation, it’s become a lot easier to just slap in more than a few shameless guest appearance.

Indeed it does.

Quote of the Day

“Yay!  We’re getting a new TV!” – Homer, Bart and Lisa Simpson
“Let’s go to the Sharper Image!  They’ve got a TV shaped like a 50s diner.” – Bart Simpson
“No, let’s go to The Nature Company, they’ve got a TV assembled by Hopi Indians.” – Lisa Simpson
“We can’t afford to shop at any store that has a philosophy.  We just need a TV.” – Marge Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Now, kids, while your mother’s gone, I don’t want to have to wash any dishes.  So, from now on, drink straight from the faucet or milk carton, and we’ll eat while standing over the sink or toilet.” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday Bill Oakley! 

Quote of the Day

“Thank God it’s Wednesday.” – Jasper
“It’s Friday.” – Mrs. Glick
“Uh-oh, wrong pills. . . . Uh, little help?” – Jasper

Quote of the Day

“Sorry, we’re not allowed to read newspapers.  They angry up the blood!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Uh, question for the barbecue chef: don’t you think there is an inherent danger in sending underqualified civilians into space?” – Reporter
“I’ll field this one.  The only danger is if they send us to that terrible planet of the apes . . . wait a minute, Statue of Liberty, that was our planet!  You maniacs!  You blew it up!  Damn you!  Damn you all to hell!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“And then, the handsome prince realized he had to go to the bathroom, really bad.  But the evil ogre, Barney, had left the men’s room in the most wicked condition!  So, the prince went out back to the enchanted alley.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s not a fairy tale, it’s just something that happened to you at Moe’s.” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Save our seats!” – Bart Simpson
“Will do!” – Homer Simpson
“Hello.” – Strange Man
“Oh.” – Homer Simpson

Reading Digest: Excited Edition

“This is so exciting.  Last time I got to go backstage was when Bart ripped his pants at the Christmas play.” – Marge Simpson
“Mom!” – Bart Simpson
“Ha ha.” – Eric “Bobo” Correa

The torrent of new Simpsons merchandise continues this week, and what I’ve noticed isn’t so much the amazing breadth of the products (clothing, ice cube trays, figurines) as the way that every single company describes themselves as “excited” to be selling crappy Simpsons stuff.  They all do it, and the consistency is terrifying.  On the subject of merchandise, they announced the date of the long ago promised Lego crossover episode this week and repetitions of that press release clogged my inbox from better stuff as a result, so this week’s link collection is a little thinner than usual.  However, we do have excellent verbal and visual usage, several people completing projects ranging from computer wallpapers to embroidery, a list of Groening’s favorite episodes from Seasons 1-11, an article about John Swartzwelder, some Bacon Day leftovers, and a new book that mashes up pop culture and classical politics.  

Enjoy.

The reclusive genius behind the funniest episodes of ‘The Simpsons’ – There’s nothing terribly new here, but it’s a nice writeup of Swartzwelder that includes a YouTube of that time he may or may not have been on one of the commentaries.

Richard Hinds on baseball great and Simpsons icon Don Mattingly – Damn hippie:

Even in the US, where “Donnie Baseball’’ is a Yankees’ legend, Mattingly is still reminded about his animated likeness.

“I spent my whole career in New York but when I came to LA I was getting a lot of people saying, ‘Hey Mattingly, shave off those sideburns’,’’ he says.

EXCLUSIVE: We Take A Look Inside ‘The Simpsons’ World – An Australian writer took a trip to the new Simpsons area at Universal Studios and made note of some of the omissions:

– I’m slightly sad that the gift shop has no Bort licence plates – a golden opportunity missed.

– The statue of Jebediah Springfield doesn’t have the plaque with the town’s motto.

– The Flaming Moes on sale look amazing but contain neither alcohol nor cough syrup.

– You can’t get a Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverage with your burger (although there are shakes there from memory).

Shakes, you don’t know what you’re getting.

Hands-on: Lego The Simpsons House review – Just what it says, including some more pictures.

Ranking all 24 episodes of The Simpsons, season 3 – Now this is how you do a list:

The third season of The Simpsons is so great that I didn’t even bother eliminating any episodes and instead, I just fit them into categories ranging from “All Time Classics,” “Good Examples of Season 3″ and “Just a Good Ol’ Fashioned Simpsons Episode!”.

“Dear ‘Life in These United States,’ a funny thing happened to me…” | Where in the World is Sideshow Bob? – Lots of people do travel blogs, especially when they do study abroad.  Not once, though, have I seen someone write the blog with Springfield’s favorite attempted murderer at their side though.  Great idea.

Round 100: Separate Vocations vs. Das Bus – Holy crap, round 100!

VIEW: New forecasts, same delusions for Port Mann Bridge – Excellent usage:

I’m old enough to remember the episode of The Simpsons when Homer Simpson, after 22 minutes of serial idiocy, wraps up the show by proudly declaring: “Marge, my friend, I haven’t learned a thing.”

Well, it seems that British Columbia’s transportation officials are now treating The Simpsons as an instruction manual.

LegD’oh! – The big news this week was that the long ago announced Lego episode of Zombie Simpsons will be broadcast on May 4th.  If they fail to include a Star Wars joke I will not be surprised.

Beechdean Group to launch The Simpsons ice cream products – The barrage of merchandising, which is only loosely connected to this December’s upcoming 25th anniversary, continues unabated:

Beechdean Ice Cream Group has signed an exciting new licensing deal with Twentieth Century Fox Consumer Products to become the UK’s ice cream and frozen desserts category partner for The Simpsons and is kicking off with two ice cream split products.

The 85ml products will be produced using Beechdean’s newly acquired lolly machine and moulds, are available in Raspberry and Strawberry flavours with an RRP of 90p.

I’m starting to think that one of the standard clauses in FOX’s merchandising contracts mandates use of the word “excited” or a variation thereof in the announcement:

Andrew Howard, MD, Beechdean Ice Cream Group says: “We are incredibly excited about introducing our next generation of licensed products inspired by The Simpsons.

They all say it.

Special Lego Episode Coming to The Simpsons – See?  Every single time (bold mine):

“We are thrilled to collaborate with Fox during the 25th anniversary year of The Simpsons,” said Jill Wilfert, VP of licensing and entertainment at The LEGO Group states. “We know our fans will love the challenge of building the Simpsons’ family home in great detail and the ability to collect quintessential characters in LEGO minifigure form will let them showcase their love of the show in a whole new way. We are also excited that The Simpsons will be created in LEGO form, truly bringing this partnership to life.“

Gotta be in the contract.

The Simpsons 25th Anniversary 5″ Celebrity Guest Stars Action Figure – Series 02 – Here are some more celebrity figurines.  Meh.

JOYRICH X THE SIMPSONS : SPRING/SUMMER 2014 COLLECTION – Hats and jackets, more more more.

Matt Groening 10 Favorite ‘Simpsons’ Episodes – Happily there’s no Zombie Simpsons.  Unfortunately, that’s because he originally came up with this list during Season 11.

Reality versus fiction: concept of space and time in architecture – Pictures from the real Flintstones and Simpson houses.  Dick Clark clearly had more money to spend on his Bedrock replica than whoever ordered that Simpson home giveaway.

Animated Review: Another Companion To Books From The Simpsons In Alphabetical Order – A French artist likes to alphabetize things from the show.

What Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About Politics – Wisconsin public radio on a new book called “Homer Simpson Ponders Politics” with lots of essays about pop culture’s connection to the art of the possible.  This is an interview with the editors, and the word “Aristotelian” features prominently.

Holiday Film Reviews: The Simpsons – “I Love Lisa” – Both reviewers give it three and a half hearts out of four.

The Dr. Nick ‘coloured-in’ embroidery job – This went up too late for last week’s Bacon Day post, but if this isn’t love, what is?:

So I started seeing a guy called Nick with a PhD in Chemistry. His mates call him “Dr Nick” for fun, so this is what I whacked together for his Christmas present.

Click through for the awesome finished result.

The Simpsons Homer Ice Cube Tray – Hmm:

Only $9.38 from Hot Topic.

Most of what I know about Hot Topic came from the “Ungroundable” episode of South Park, so I’m not really sure what to make of that.

Drunk Texting – Scroll to the bottom for a sweet sketch of Lisa telling off those fucktards at misspelled Chick-Fillet.  (Also, good luck with “The Boy”.)

Simpsons Effect Wallpaper – In other finished fan art, the Simpsonized version of Mass Effect we’ve been linking is done.  Cool.

Random Simpsons Screencap of the Day 2/16/14 – He’s 31 years old!

Footage of Finnish Celebrating Big Win – Heh.

The East Asian Studies Department Tackles Orientalism in Modern Television – Damn Zombie Simpsons:

The event screened two recent episodes of The Simpsons and How I Met your Mother, both of which have stirred controversy in how they depicted the Eastern World, particularly East Asia, as constructs of a Western Orientalist perspective.

Both episodes discussed at the event featured Asians as stereotypes. For example, The Simpsons depicted sexualized Asian women

Are You a 50 Year Old Kiss Virgin? Do You Even Kiss? – Breaking down various kiss types to the point of absurdity, including:

Kiss # Three. The Simpsons Kiss.

Step 1: Pout so hard that not only are you doing the duck face, you are a duck.

Step 2: Find someone who is willing to look as stupidly fowl-like as you.

Step 3: Loudly smack you lips against the outstretched lips of the other person (or duck), as if you’re chastising them for being tardy.

Step 4: Keep going until you die of exhaustion.

Step 5: Or at least until you become yellow.

An Unusual Source of Inspiration – YouTube of Lisa encouraging Homer with crisatunity.

Mini Marge Simpson Cross Stitch – Just what it says.  And it can apparently be done in a single ferry ride.  Bravo.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY SIMPSONS CLIPS ARE SO HARD TO FIND ON THE INTERNET. – Somebody got a Choo-Choo-Choose valentine, which was nice.  To answer the title, however, you simply need to remember that FOX is run by assholes.  Big ones.

I Choo-choo-choose Mr Pigalina – Here the card finds a happy home on the fridge next to infamous nevernude Tobias.

Choo-Choo-Choose This Printable Valentine – For the belated Bacon Day recipient in your life, or to save for next year.  (Also, that blog is titled The Feminine Miss Geek.  Ha!)

Are refugee advocates out of touch? – Excellent visual Skinner usage.

The 100 Best Classic Simpsons Quotes – The good news: no Zombie Simpsons and all the quotes are subtitled screen grabs.  The bad news: it’s Buzzfeed.

Watch The Simpsons In 7 Different Languages, But Homer Is Still “D’oh!” – Speaking of Buzzfeed, here’s a genuinely clever YouTube video of parts of “Mr. Plow” and “Marge vs. the Monorail” dubbed into six other languages.

Of hardship and heroin – And on the topic of foreign language voices, the guy who does the French Canadian voice of Krusty is in a play in New Zealand as Jean Cocteau.

Everyone is a MUA these days. – Animated .gif of Homer’s makeup shotgun.

The Simpsons Tapped Out- Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us.  From a review of Tapped Out:

Tapped out is the perfect game because it refers back to episodes of The Simpsons that were actually good, although I do have a tendency to become attached to characters and despite of my growing lack of interest will stick through with a show until the bitter end, I gave up on The Simpsons long ago. I understand what is special about it, and it truly is impressive how long it has stayed on the air. It taught me a significant amount of life lessons as I repeatedly watched episodes of it growing up. It still remains one of my most quoted and referenced TV shows, but I gave up probably after season 11.

That was a good time to quit.

Quote of the Day

“Oh, okay, calm down, just think: What would Curtis E. Bear do?” – Marge Simpson
“Move it!  I gotta return this suit!” – Curtis E. Bear (Eddie)

Quote of the Day

“I have nothing to offer you but my love.” – Milhouse van Houten
“I specifically said no geeks!” – C.M. Burns
“But my mom says I’m cool.” – Milhouse van Houten

Quote of the Day

“Seymour, you are truly incompetent.” – Superintendent Chalmers
“Well, I hardly think it’s fair-” – Principal Skinner
“Dummy up, you!  Listen to those passing motorists who support the teachers!” – Superintendent Chalmers

Quote of the Day

“That’s right, it was I.” – Lisa Simpson
“Lis, why did you do it?” – Bart Simpson
“Come on, Bart, in your pre-fascist days you knew the giddy thrill of futile rebellion.” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Trust in yourself and you can achieve anything.” – Lisa Lionheart
“You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it’ll all be worth it.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes, particularly if that little girl happens to pay forty-six thousand dollars for that doll.” – Stacy Lovell
“What?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh nothing.  Kudos to you, Lisa.  Kudos.” – Stacy Lovell

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”!  Original airdate 17 February 1994.

Quote of the Day

“We need some excitement around here.” – C.M. Burns
“Chinese checkers or domestic, sir?” – Mr. Smithers

Quote of the Day

“Get out here, son!  There’s a doings a transpiring!” – Shelbyville Homer

Happy birthday Matt Groening!

Reading Digest: Happy Bacon Day Edition

“And this is for my huggy bug in honor of this special day.” – Marge Simpson
“Special day?  Oh, what have I forgotten now?  Now, don’t panic.  Is it Bacon Day?  No!  That’s crazy talk.  She’s getting impatient, take a stab at it . . .” – Homer’s Brain
“Happy . . . Valentine’s Day.” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, thank you, dear.” – Marge Simpson
“Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson

Today, as we all know (even Reddit), is Bacon Day.  Like most holidays on the American calendar, whatever was once good and fun about Bacon Day was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece so thoroughly that the backlash against those decades of commoditization now has its own annual meta-backlash.  Personally, I’ve never understood what all the fuss is about.  Some people eat bacon today, some people don’t; and tomorrow begins the year long countdown to the next time people will once again fret and stress over who’s eating bacon, who’s not eating bacon, what their bacon eating (or lack thereof) says about them, and all manner of other non-bacon related subjects.

Naturally, we have some Bacon Day related links this week, so feel free to enjoy them or not as you see fit.  In addition to that, there is yet more new merchandise this week, lots of excellent usage (even on that’s misquoted), an update on fan made cross stitch, a chance to vote on what Simpsons episodes people in the Bay Area will get to watch next month, and a scandalous episode of all caps plagiarism in a barbecue joint that I demand be corrected by next Bacon Day.

Enjoy.

–

Before we get to this week’s links, here’s Sam Simon’s speech from that award the Writer’s Guild gave him a couple of weeks ago (via):

As I’ve said before, it’s hard to imagine someone dealing with that kind of news better than he is.  I mean, how often do people with nasty cancer crack jokes at the expense of the Make A Wish Foundation?

–

PLAGIARISM! – Some BBQ joint attributed “You don’t win friends with salad” to some anonymous scoundrel named “Shane”.  Our author got “full on, fan-girl annoyed”, and deservedly so!

20th Century Fox details toy partners for The Simpsons’ 25th anniversary | Latest news from the licensing industry – There’s gonna be Hot Wheels, there’s gonna be six feet tall inflatable Homers, there’s gonna be more figurines.  They are going all out because there can never be enough merchandise.  Never!  (For pics of some of it, see here.)

Mmm… Unexplained Bacon – If you make your own bacon, then every day can be Bacon Day!

Thank You One Tree Hill, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Simpsons, and Harry Potter – A big old wet kiss to some popular media, including the show and including a ton of great YouTube.

Pick-a-Side – >>>>> Classic Simpsons Marathon! <<<<< Pick The Top ‘Simpsons’ Episodes! – That San Francisco tv station that separates Simpsons reruns from Zombie Simpsons reruns is having a viewer contest to pick which episodes they’ll show during a marathon on March 15th.  It’s a good list and you can vote.

The Other Shoe has Dropped – I’ve lost track of all the Converse Simpsons shoes, but here are some of them.

Heres a red ball….. – This is . . . this is brilliant:

I don’t know about you, but I think I its a great idea to carry a red ball in ones pocket for every time some asshole says something completely stupid.  Just for the sole purpose of asking them if they’d like to bounce it.  Anyone know where one could buy these wholesale? Just asking for a friend….

A quick Amazon search did not reveal any bulk purchase options.

From the same site as the above, it’s Simpsons screen caps of the day: Ratboy, Bogeymen, no good Lisa running wild, and horrible aftermath of the Lizard Queen.  Bravo.

CAN I BORROW A FEELING? – As usual with Valentine’s Day, 95%+ of what seems to be on the internet shits on the holiday, and when people do it with Simpsons it’s usually Choo-Choo-Choose related.  Kudos for going with Kirk’s abortive singing career.

Simpsons – I choo choo choose you (gif) – Of course, you can’t go wrong with animated .gifs of the classic.

The faces behind “The Simpsons” – A nice little collage of the six main voices with their various characters.

want: lego simpsons house…that opens. – This is from a blog awesomely titled “Lenny Loves Carl”:

Anyway, if I do obtain this masterpiece of the Lego Gods, I’ll probably keep it in the box until my brother is in town and can put it together for me.  Then I’ll proudly display it in my house and not let friends’ kids play with it when they come over because they’ll do terrible things like put the Jazz Fest poster on Bart’s bedroom wall and make Lisa eat hot dogs when we all know she only wants to eat gazpacho!

Thomas A. Edison’s doodle – A drawing of Homer dressed as Edison, if he ate hoagies and drank Duff.

The Simpsons’ Parody of Famous Photos (12 photos) – Exactly what it says.

Mike Lynch Cartoons: THE SIMPSONS “Please Stand By” Interstitials – Also exactly what it says.

Barbie’s SI Cover Steps Up the Sexualized Children’s Toy Game – Good comparison:

Billed under an “Unapologetic” tagline, Barbie will get a four pages of swimsuit-wearing photos — all taken by longtime SI photographer Walter Iooss Jr. — as well as a limited-edition Sports Illustrated Barbie (only at Target!). And most importantly, 1,000 issues with Barbie in a swimsuit on the cover.
While perhaps the most brazen example yet of sexualizing the children’s toy, the concept isn’t exactly novel. Look at how Marge Simpson’s image has been tarted up over the years. “Springfield’s sexiest MILF,” Maxim called her in 2004 when she appeared on the cover of the magazine. Marge also posed on a bunny chair in Playboy in 2009 as a tag to “The Devil in Marge Simpson.” Weird.

It was.  Really weird.

Sirs, madams, our airs and graces are on the wane – Excellent usage:

Homer Simpson only ever got called “sir” when it was followed by “you’re making a scene”. Unless you’re a teacher or a drill sergeant, you’re likely to be in the same boat.

Berlinale 2014: Is the Man Who Is Tall Happy? Review – Excellent reference:

It’s easy to greet the prospect of Michel Gondy making a doodle movie about the ideas of Noam Chomsky like that aggrieved nerd on The Simpsons: “Ugh, why does it have be zany?”

Kraft Singles Get Very Slightly Less Horrid – Another excellent reference:

The enduring image of Kraft Singles in my mind comes from the Simpsons episode where Homer inadvertently thwarts Mr. Burns and Smithers from burglarizing his home by sleepwalking into the kitchen for “Mmmmm…64 slices of American cheese.” It takes him all night to unwrap and eat them individually, by which time the burglars’ suction pads lose their grip and they nonchalantly drop off the ceiling to bid him a good day.

Get to know Midwest brewers in Locally Brewed by Anna Blessing – Intentional misquotes still count as excellent usage:

To misquote Homer Simpson, “Craft beer. Is there anything it can’t do?” Of course Homer, the great devotee of Duff, probably wouldn’t know what to make of an IPA.

The Simpsons Duff Beer-Themed Energy Drink – Now you can buy it outside the theme park.  Still looks gross.

You’ll Feel Inspired to Play Your NES After Seeing this Nostalgic 8-bit Art (10 Images) – These are great, not only the Simpsons one, but also Bob Ross, Monopoly, and the bunch from Star Wars. (via Content for Nerds)

Shirley Temple Offered Guest Role On ‘The Simpsons’ But Said F*ck Off – They wanted her to play Little Vicki.

Bart’s Dog Gets An F – Episode #029 – Lots of people think only mules can pull carts.  Impatient people think that, but patient people know better.

12 Things The Simpsons Can Teach You About Family, Hard Work, And Happiness – This is to promote that same new ebook I linked last week.  I’ll have a review of it next week, but for now I’ll just recommend against a purchase.

Word Mystery: butterfly / mariposa / papillon / farfalla – The show gives us all kinds of options for daily usage:

My BFF and I decided a million years ago that “butterfly” would be our code word for “help” in any situation. If one of us couldn’t remember another person’s name while talking to them, we’d mention how odd it was that we’d seen a butterfly earlier that day and the other would come to the rescue.

[…]

It’s the perfect word for all kinds of situations since it’s innocuous, not commonly said, and, as Bart Simpson learned years after I had, “Nobody ever suspects the butterfly.“

Harry Potter and the Happy Squirrel: Hermione, as Page of Coins, considers Ron and Harry – I did not know this:

“The Happy Squirrel has become a bit of an in-joke in the tarot community since  it first appeared in the Simpsons episode Lisa’s Wedding in the mid 1990′s.” —   A review of the Touchstone Tarot

But is it bad?

EYE CANDY: Bartmania Nostalgia in Time for Black History Month – Pretty much what it says, some old stuff and some new stuff being used to promote an album.  Cool.

Progress on Lisa – That cross stitch I linked a couple of weeks ago is definitely Lisa and not Maggie, and looks to be coming along nicely.

The Perfect Compliment – Star Wars Valentine for the win.

My Thoughts: The Simpsons – Good move:

the show has stopped being funny. It’s not even interesting to entertaining anymore. I took it off my Hulu watch list back in 2012 because for the last few seasons before then, I’d watch each episode and think, “Let’s get this over with” before clicking it. I think out of two seasons prior to 2012 I laughed maybe three times total.

It’s time to love up all on Thursday. – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

I love the Simpsons – up to a point. The older stuff is so genius. I will still pepper conversations with random quotes to this day, I can sing along with all the musical numbers. It’s become one with my brain.

I know the feeling.  (It closes with a .gif of Homer’s brain explaining to him that $20 is better than a peanut.)

Quote of the Day

“Doing the Monster Mash with you on this beautiful Valentine’s Day.” – Marty
“Marty, why did you play that song today?  There must be thousands of love songs.” – Bill
“Well, it’s kind of a love song, all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, dancing, holding their evil in check.” – Marty
“You played the wrong record, didn’t you?” – Bill
“Why are you doing this to me?” – Marty

Quote of the Day

“Come back here, I’m not through demeaning you!” – Freddy Quimby

Quote of the Day

“Ahoy ahoy? . . . No, you have the wrong number.  This is 5246.  I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine.” – C.M. Burns