“I am not cleaning that . . . eh, who am I kidding?” – Marge Simpson
Happy (one day belated) birthday, Tracey Ullman!
Bonus Ullman:
Archive for December, 2014
31
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
30
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“Otto, man, you’re living in a dumpster?” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, man, I wish. Dumpster brand trash bins are top of the line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit.” – Otto
29
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“Stand behind the flaming garbage cans! We’ll be letting you into the store seventy people at a time.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Let’s just beat him up and take his stuff!” – Kirk van Houten
“No, no, no, do not listen to that man. Remain calm. You will all have a chance to be gouged.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
28
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“That’s it, no more autographs, I gotta go! They’re naming a new sandwich after me at my restaurant.” – Krusty the Klown
27
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“This is cause I kicked you, isn’t it?” – Homer Simpson
26
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“I can’t imagine that job of yours is very stimulating.” – Marge Bouvier
“But it gives me time to think.” – Homer Simpson
“What do you think about?” – Marge Bouvier
“Well, girls . . . I mean boys! I, I mean you!” – Homer Simpson
25
Dec
14
Bea, What Was Birth Like?
“Homey, I think someone is saying hello.” – Marge Simpson
Mad Jon’s lovely and talented Mrs. gave birth to a bouncing, baby Beatrice this morning. This is what he texted me:
“It’s a boy! And what a boy!”
Mother and daughter are both doing well, and I also have an artist’s rendition of Jon right now:
Congratulations, parents. You gave your little girl the worst possible birthday. Merry Christmas.
24
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“Buy me Bonestorm or go to Hell!” – Bart Simpson
“Bart!” – Marge Simpson
“Young man, in this house we use a little word called ‘please’.” – Homer Simpson
24
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“Can we open our presents now, Dad?” – Future Gambler
“You know the tradition, son. Not till the eighth race.” – Gambler
23
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“This novelty foam hand is ludicrously oversized. Go swap it for a smaller one.” – C.M. Burns
“It is a bit ostentatious, sir. I’ll be right back.” – Mr. Smithers
Happy birthday Harry Shearer!
22
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“And, joining us live via satellite from Vienna, the home of Sigmund Freud, the world’s most famous psychiatrist, to give us an insight into the human mind, Dr. Marvin Monroe.” – Kent Brockman
“Hiya.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
21
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“God bless you, Bart Simpson. I’d kiss you, but, doctor says I’m sick.” – Poor Violet
20
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards?” – Mayor Quimby
“Is there anything fluffier than a cloud?” – Bodyguard #1
“If there is, I don’t want to know about it.” – Bodyguard #2
♫”Then all the reindeer loved him/
And they shouted out with glee/
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/
You’ll go down in history!”♫ – The Simpson Family
“Like Attila the Hun!” – Bart Simpson
Simpsons Day was on Wednesday this week, and with it being a (relatively) big number, 25 years and all, it got more than the usual attention. So we’ve got a lot of lists and retrospectives mixed in with some usage, a bit of fan art, one hapless defense of Zombie Simpsons, a couple of Hutz tributes, a pre-Simpsons David Silverman project, and several people who used the show to protest whichever high profile police killing we’re on now. In addition to that, we’ve got several links about “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” and just how well it stands the test of time. It’s true, and it’s nice to see people agreeing.
Enjoy.
(Oh, and I’ve still got that Christmas Compare & Contrast saved in the draft folder. I’ll get to it, I swear!)
Christmas Merriment Review #17: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire [The Simpsons] (1989) – Like so many other links this week, Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is about that very first episode, and it’s spot on:
Yet the Simpsons don’t go unrewarded for their deeds. And that’s something that should also be brought up. The situation Homer puts himself through is not because of his own greediness (like in the later episode”‘Tis the Fifteenth Season”), but simply due to circumstance. He does what he does because he wants his family to have a merry Christmas of their own, even if it means he has to overwork himself to do it. He goes through his own internal struggle trying to be as successful as Ned, but never finding the means to. Yet his actions in this instant are pure and we root for him to succeed because of it.
This and that: “Um Dasher, Dancer… Prancer… Nixon, Comet, Cupid… Donna Dixon?”* – More love for “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” (among other things).
bathimpact advent calendar, december 17th 1989: The first episode of The Simpsons airs – I keep telling everyone the kids are alright, and here’s more evidence with a college kid talking about how well “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” has aged.
The Simpsons’ First Episode Is 25 Years Old And You NEED To Watch It Again – Yes:
Sometimes it’s odd to go back to the first episode of a long-running show and see just how drastically different everything became since, but while it’s fun to notice little things like Moe’s appearance and Ralph Wiggum’s lucidity, it says a lot that, actually, this episode feels like any other golden 20 minutes in Springfield. The script is peppered with sharp one-liners and running gags (“And Bart… well… we love Bart”, notes Marge after already listing how well everyone else is doing) but behind it all is a heartfelt story driven by flawed and larger-than-life but rounded and empathetic characters.
Many standard Christmas movies will be doing the rounds over the next few weeks but for a quick bite-size gem, definitely see if you can dig out Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire. It’s 25 years old but it’s a little piece of television history that’s as enjoyable today as it was in 1989.
Embiggening English: The Simpsons and changing language – Via a whole bunch of places, a high falutin’ English blog takes a look at some of the words from the show. I am distressed that “Yoink” isn’t mentioned, but otherwise it’s a fine read.
‘MythBusters’ to test scenes from ‘The Simpsons.’ Here are five that should be re-created. – Good suggestions. As always, it’s worth noting that none of them are from Zombie Simpsons.
5-sentence review of ‘The Simpsons: I Won’t Be Home Christmas’ – Heh:
4. The got the dog, Santa’s Little Helper, at the end of that episode.
5. Fortunately, “Simpsons” characters don’t age, otherwise that dog would be as dead as I feel inside when I watch the show 25 years later.
Germany’s Homer Simpson is actually 85 – The guy who does Homer in Germany has no plans on quitting.
Simpsons 25th anniversary: Why every woman should love Lisa – There’s some Zombie Simpsons in here, but it’s pretty solid. And there’s this:
8) Lisa won’t date Millhouse, no matter how persistent he is
The only person who loves Lisa more than us might be Bart’s BFF Millhouse Van Houten. He’s been trying to get her attention for 25 seasons, but Lisa won’t let herself be distracted. Why? Because she doesn’t like him “in that way”. When I was a teen I had many moments when I thought I’d probably go out with anyone who asked (who doesn’t want a boyfriend?) Then I remembered Lisa and Millhouse, and thought again.
Nobody likes Milhouse!
20 Normal Things Simpsons Fans Can’t Hear Without Laughing – Some of these are a stretch, but “Aurora Borealis” and “Default” routinely get me to snicker, even among company that doesn’t get it. (via @woohootriviaCHI)
The Simpsons: 25 times real life echoed the show – Some of these are also a stretch, but there are some good ones:
11. When the Rolling Stones toured, despite being in their seventies
Lisa is given a glimpse into the future in the 1995 episode Lisa’s Wedding, which was actually set in 2010. One of the episode’s jokes was a poster advertising the “Rolling Stones Steel Wheelchair Tour 2010”. In real life, the Stones toured in 2005, 2012 and 2014, and are still going strong. Singer Mick Jagger is 70, as is lead guitarist Keith Richards; drummer Charlie Watts is 72, and guitarist Ronnie Wood is a comparatively sprightly 66.
via @DailySimpsons.
Sorry haters, The Simpsons, which turns 25 today, is still really good. – This is your standard “but it’s been better recently” whine. Here’s our permanent rebuttal to these tired argument.
Artist imagines the Simpsons joining the “I can’t breathe” protests – That same Italian guy who did celebrities and such as Simpsons goes whole hog on “I Can’t Breathe”. There’s even a little story in there, with Wiggum doing media and such.
Art In Wake of Eric Garner’s Now Famous Last Words – Subway art in New York with Homer as the cop instead of Wiggum.
Mashup: Eric Garner + Simpsons – Not sure where this is from, but the CCTV cameras pointing away are a nice touch.
Lisa Simpson’s Yeardley Smith, shares her memories of The Simpsons. – Points for comedy:
2. “The day U2 came to record with us and one of the band members mooned our music director because he told him he was singing off-key.”
And for honesty:
5. “The money. Because it’s given me incredible freedom of choice — the greatest gift of all.”
The True Meaning of The Simpsons – Some love for both “Marge Be Not Proud” and “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace”.
Top 10 Holiday Sitcom Episodes of the ’90s – Both of which also make the list here.
The Simpsons Arcade Game – A video game review as a 25th anniversary celebration.
Los Simpsons y un mundo sin abogados – I can’t read this, but it’s about the show’s anniversary and has Spanish language Lionel Hutz YouTube.
An Ode “The Simpsons'” Lionel Hutz – And speaking of Hutz, who doesn’t love him?
Saturday morning routines – Good idea:
So here is the challenge: Pick a saturday, any saturday and instead of following your regular routine, stay in bed a little while longer and stream some saturday morning cartoons. Why not even check out Marge vs. the Monorail* and tell me if you agree.
The 10 best movie parodies in The Simpsons – There’s no Zombie Simpsons on here unless you count the Guillermo del Toro opening.
The Proton Transmogrification vs. Round Springfield – Someone did a compare & contrast between The Big Bang theory and “Round Springfield”. You can guess which wins.
TV: My Christmas With…The Simpsons and Bob’s Burgers – Comparing “Marge Be Not Proud” to a Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode.
“Chanukah at Bubbe’s” is the best Hanukkah special you’ve never heard of – It’s like Jewish 80s Muppets, and David Silverman did the puppets (one of whom looks a lot like Bart).
D’oh of Homer: Professors employ TV’s Simpsons – The gospel of putting the show into schools spreads.
mmmmm donuts at work – .gif of Homer getting slowly closer to the poisoned donut.
New trending GIF tagged horror vintage cartoon the… – Sit with your family, Lisa.
Day 293: Keep digging! There’s a Simpsons reference in here somewhere! – Heh.
25 Best Simpsons Episodes Ever – This is from Time, and since Zombie Simpsons sucks so bad, they didn’t even have to change the list much from 2003.
Today Is The 25th Anniversary Of ‘The Simpsons’ Debut On Fox – This is an Uproxx open thread for Simpsons quotes. Zombie Simpsons is not well represented in the comments.
Throwback Thursday – The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Space Mutants (1991) – Well put:
Bart vs. the Space Mutants is a licensed video game in the worst sense of the term. Something strictly for fans and something that will only become a worthy experience if you’re willing to overlook its shortcomings and spend an inordinate amount of time making small, incremental, and frustrating, progress. It’s not a terrible game by any measure, but it’s not something that has stood the test of time either. Not that it would have, as by the end of 1992 a further 7 video games starring Bart Simpsons were released on home console. And this is generally considered to be one of the good ones.
Happy 25th Anniversary – The Simpsons – Quoted in its entirety:
Forgot to say Happy Anniversary to my childhood – I mean, The Simpsons. 25 years ago, on December 17th, this beautiful, dysfunctional family was born.
I don’t remember a time when they weren’t on TV or in my life. So, thank you: Marge, Bart, Homer, Maggie and Lisa. Oh, and Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball V. Thank you all for being a constant in my dreary life.
Preach it, sister. Preach.
19
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“I am so bored!” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, I can’t wait till we’re teenagers. Then we’ll be happy.” – Milhouse van Houten
18
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“Cheer up, Homer.” – Bart Simpson
“Can’t.” – Homer Simpson
“Okay!” – Bart Simpson
17
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“One ‘Mother’, please.” – Bart Simpson
“Wait a minute, how old are you?” – The Happy Sailor
“Twenty-one, sir.” – Bart Simpson
“Get in the chair.” – The Happy Sailor
Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!
16
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“The city’s even in the celebrity business. Everyone knows Professor Rubbermouth hails from Springfield.” – News on Parade Narrator
15
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“What do you feel? What’s inside you right now?” – Lisa Simpson
“Guts. And black stuff. And about fifty Slim Jims.” – Nelson Muntz
14
Dec
14
Quote of the Day
“Free nose jobs for everybody! You first.” – Dr. Nick
“Gimme a Van Heflin.” – Jasper
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken