“So, in a few months, both of you will have a brand new brother or sister.” – Marge Simpson
“Been there, done that.” – Bart Simpson
“I hope it’s a girl.” – Lisa Simpson
“You know nothing about genetics, Lis. It goes boy-girl, boy-girl.” – Bart Simpson
“Herb! How have you been?” – Marge Simpson
“I’ve been living in a cardboard box, sleeping on grates, eating out of dumpsters, you?” – Herb Powell
“Can’t complain.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, Neddy, it was terrifying. I thought I was headed for the eternal bliss of paradise.” – Maude Flanders
“Yeah, well, he’s wearing that hat like an idiot.” – Homer Simpson
“You know, Homer, it’s very easy to criticize.” – Marge Simpson
“Fun too.” – Homer Simpson
“Just take mine. A simple cupcake will bring me no pleasure.” – Lisa Simpson
This week we’ve got two links hearkening back to Season 1’s melancholy masterpiece “Moaning Lisa”, and two different fond remembrances of the first time someone ever watched the show. Season 1 often gets overlooked for the very understandable reasons that it both looks and sounds quite different than it would even in Season 2, but those episodes still resonate with people, and that’s astonishing. In addition to that, we’ve got a great Spider-Man put down, new old bootleg Bart, some .gifs, and a horrifying soccer mascot.
Enjoy.
Tom Holland is Spider-Man’s New “Hat” At A Time When I Wanted a Lisa Lionheart – Excellent usage:
The makers of Malibu Stacy, the Simpsons stand-in for Barbie, respond with an all-night brainstorming session where it is decided to release a Malibu Stacy which is exactly the same but has a new hat.
A River of Melted Hot Butter – This is a transcript of a diary from when the author was a kid, and this is great:
After dinner we went to ACE and got some candy. I got some gum. It was so good. I’m chewing the gum right now. I am also watching The Simpsons. It is my favorite episode. At 7:00, Jamie is coming to spend the night. Anyway, it’s almost seven and she’s going to miss The Simpsons. That’s okay, she saw it when she came over today.
But what episode is it??
Three Men And A Comic Book – This is true:
-Wow, they got away with Homer saying “T.S.” on prime-time television, in the early 90s. Sure, it was just an acronym, but it was still pretty bold for the time.
Also, too, I was about the only kid I knew who hated The Wonder Years, so I’ve always loved when Homer keeps interrupting Bart’s narrative staring.
Sex and The Simpsons – And none of the examples are from Zombie Simpsons, hooray. Also, there’s a .gif of Homer in the Mr. Plow jacket.
The Shearer Situation: An Overview – Our old friend Noah takes a look at the why of Shearer’s departure:
So, why would he leave then? Well, these seem to be the three prevailing theories:
Be Street – Bootleg Bart Creative Contest – Modern takes on classic Bart. Notorious B.A.R.T. is great.
Hank Azaria on Harry Shearer’s Simpsons Dispute – No real news here, but at least Azaria’s got a sense of humor about it:
Azaria, who conceded, “If he really doesn’t come back, the show has to continue in some way at least for a while … Maybe we’ll do a YouTube thing, like how they found that Asian guy that sings for Journey.”
LISTEN: The Simpsons ‘Moaning Lisa’ Review – Just what it says. I love that episode.
Caitlyn Jenner is given The Simpsons treatment with her Vanity Fair cover – That same Italian artists strikes again.
Is Pixar’s Inside Out Just a Herman’s Head Rip-Off? – Excellent usage:
Oh, really, Pixar, you’re going inside the mind of an 11-year-old girl to visit the personifications of her primary emotions – Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Bill Hader), Disgust (Mindy Kaling) and Anger (Lewis Black), all of whom congregate in “headquarters.” In the immortal words of George Harrison watching the Bee Sharps perform on top of Moe’s Bar on The Simpsons, “It’s been done.”
Incidentally, Inside Out was fantastic.
Pixar’s Inside Out: Riley is a feminist hero. – Double excellent usage:
They’re clearly well-meaning, but they’re guilt-tripping their kid. (The scenario echoes a 1990 Simpsons episode in which sweet Marge Simpson implores a down-in-the-dumps Lisa to “take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down past your knees, until you’re almost walking on them.”)
And:
The only thing to do is forgive yourself and try to do better next time. (Marge Simpson came around, too; she apologizes to Lisa and says, “Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We’ll ride it out with you.”)
Perfectly quoted and apt (and have I mentioned Inside Out is really good?).
Eye On Springfield: Ross Mckendrick – Fantastic:
What is your history with the Simpsons? Do you remember the first time you saw the show?
I was born in 1988, so The Simpsons has been around pretty much my whole life. I was aware of it from a very young age but my family never had satellite TV, which was the only way you could see episodes in the UK at that time. The first time I ever saw the show itself must’ve been Hallowe’en 1994, because it was the Treehouse Of Horror episode with ‘The Shinning’ in it.
I only managed to catch it because my mum had taken me out guising (which is what we call trick-or-treating in Scotland), and as we reached the house about 2 doors down from ours the episode was just starting. I invited myself into this family’s house, plonked myself in front of their TV and pretty much refused to leave for most of the episode.
I was totally enthralled by it, I didn’t even bother doing my ‘trick’, which was my pretty killer Jim Carrey impression (I had dressed as The Mask; green face, zoot suit and everything). I thought the fact they had a Scottish character was awesome, and even more awesome was the fact it was a cartoon, but it had axe murders in it. I seriously thought the whole show was like that; a twisted cartoon take on movies I wasn’t allowed to watch yet.
It was love at first sight.
Al Jean has 90 hours (and counting) of Simpsons commentaries under his belt – Not a great deal of big information in this Jean interview, but this is kinda funny:
AVC: Have you found that people know your voice from the commentaries now?
AJ: Yes, in a very spooky fashion. I was at an airport restaurant in Arizona, and I hadn’t given my credit card, and the guy goes, “Oh, you’re Al Jean from The Simpsons!” That is a bizarre feeling.
Homer and Marge address the ‘split’ rumours – The show put out a ninety second video to keep attention on them for CNN’s fuckup. You will be unsurprised to learn that it contains a lot of exposition and Homer gets badly hurt and yells.
Partick Thistle’s new half sun/half Lisa Simpson mascot is absolutely terrifying – That is serious nightmare fuel.
Top Five TV Sofas and Chairs – Even British furniture companies know that the Simpsons couch is iconic.
Fashion Spotlight: Fighting Scottish, Doof Warrior vs The Mad, and Fight Like A Princess – Groundskeeper Willie as athletic mascot.
agoodcartoon: fumbling but well-meaning, the… – Reader Ethan P sends in this Tennessee political cartoon featuring, Burns, Homer, and a mouthwatering donut. Thanks, Ethan!
New trending GIF tagged reaction the simpsons simpsons… – It’s TS for Ralph.
New trending GIF tagged reaction the simpsons laughing… – Burns laughing maniacally.
New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons via… – Barney turning into Minday and back again. Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts.
Eye On Springfield: Kathy Bejma Of Metalcakes/Faberge Egg Salad – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us. This is an interview with the blog author who did the recipes I linked last week, and in addition to having some great Simpsons patches and buttons (which you can see at the link), there’s this:
Do you still watch the show? If not, do you remember what made you stop watching?
I don’t watch the show anymore. I’m a fan of seasons 1-10. There are 2 or 3 episodes I like in season 11, but that’s it.
I stopped watching when the jokes weren’t clever anymore. More times than not, I was laughing because I was uncomfortable, not because it was actually funny.
Amen, sister.
“This is what I think of your store!” – Customer
“Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Hurry up! We got a lot of tonic to sell and a lot of towns to visit: Frigid Falls, Mount Seldom, Lake Flaccid.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“I propose to determine the answer to the question: is my brother dumber than a hamster.” – Lisa Simpson
“Hey, Lis, look what I can do! . . . Doggone it.” – Bart Simpson
“Hiya, Homer, I brung you a big bag of irregular Oreos. I don’t see what’s wrong with this one . . . oh.” – Moe
“Is everything okay? You look a bit flushed.” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Oh, it’s just the excitement of studying Jebediah.” – Lisa Simpson
“Sounds like you’ve come down with a serious case of Jebeditis.” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Just when I was getting over my Chester A. Arthritis.” – Lisa Simpson
“Haha . . . did, you had arthritis?” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Um . . . no.” – Lisa Simpson
“Is there any grub around here?” – Eve
“Is there!” – Adam
“Good morning, Adam, any bacon for you, then?” – Edenic Pig
“Don’t mind if I do.” – Adam
“I really feel awful about your lawn, Marge. George can be so stubborn when he thinks he’s right.” – Barbara Bush
“Well, Homer too. They’re so much alike.” – Marge Simpson
“Too bad they got off on the wrong foot. It’s just like the Noriega thing, now he and George are the best of friends.” – Barbara Bush
Happy birthday Tress MacNeille!
“Homey, I know you love me. We don’t need to get married again.” – Marge Simpson
“Yes we do! I got us a divorce this afternoon!” – Homer Simpson
The internet was still digesting the fact that Homer and Marge are not getting divorced for part of this week as the news slowly filtered down to small town paper blogs and other low traffic sites that aren’t very swift on the uptake. We do have a couple of links from people taking the story as a starting point to advocate for the show finally being sent to a farm upstate, however, so it’s not all bad. In addition to that, we’ve got Castellaneta singing, fan art, fan food, several lists, the staff doing something nice, and a new podcast.
Enjoy.
17 ‘Simpsons’ Cultural References Explained for Younger Viewers – Great list (no Zombie Simpsons), and I learned to Lupe Velez was. (via @DailySimpsons)
▶ Two Lips (Dan Castellaneta) : Dog Who’s Chasing After A Ball – Reader Adam S. writes in:
did you know Dan Castellaneta released a very excellent Beatles – sounding album under the name of ‘Two Lips’ a few years back?
I did not know that. Sample is above, full album link is here. Castellaneta is a true renaissance man, and I say that not even knowing how many different types of meat he’s eaten today. Thanks, Adam!
Is it time for The Simpsons to end? – Yes, it is. This goes into more detail than that. (Again, via @DailySimpsons)
Top Ten Simpsons Episodes – Part One – An excellent half a list, with no Zombie Simpsons and “Homer the Vigilante”, which I don’t often see on top ten lists.
Five Times ‘The Simpsons’ got to Real for Us – There’s one Zombie Simpsons on here, but the rest are excellent choices, especially “The Way We Was”.
Jurassic World…In 10 Words – Saw this on Wednesday. It’s better than the other sequels, but nobody’s going to care about it in twenty-two years, either.
WATCH: The Top 10 Treehouse Of Horror Segments – According to two Australian guys. One item from Zombie Simpsons, but it’s not terrible or anything. These guys also have some podcasts discussing old episodes.
Faberge Egg Salad – Some real recipes from the show, courtesy of our new friends at Xtapolapometal.
Photo Gallery Of The Simpsons Characters Re-Voiced Sans Harry Shearer – Don Draper would be an excellent Reverend Lovejoy.
10 business lessons from The Simpsons – Reader Robert sends in this YouTube heavy list of business tips he wrote. I particularly like #2, “Don’t break the law”. Heh. Thanks, Robert!
I’m not commodity – A real life recounting of the “Lawyer Bird” test.
You Can Now Play Video Games Featured On ‘The Simpsons – I downloaded but have not actually tried these yet.
10 times Marge and Homer Simpson weren’t exactly winning any parenting awards – A little bit of Zombie Simpsons here, but there’s some good YouTube and a .gif of Homer running gleefully around the overturned beer truck.
Round 1, Battle 26 – (S.1 Ep 3) Homer’s Odyssey vs. (S.6 Ep. 20) Two Dozen and One Greyhounds – Season 1 is probably doomed here, but both of those are great.
Fish weirs, Doctor Who and Fort Knox – things you didn’t know about Magna Carta – But I did know this one!:
4 – Lisa Simpson sang a song about Magna Carta in episode 187 of The Simpsons cartoon series.
US Outlook: Set banks free to stop another crisis? A successful man can be stupid too – Moderate usage:
There is an old episode of The Simpsons in which Homer is falsely accused of sexual harassment after reaching for a gummy bear that is stuck to a lady’s backside. At the end of the episode, Marge asks Homer what he has learnt from his experience. Homer replies: “Marge, I haven’t learnt a thing.”
Homer actually says, “Marge, my friend, I haven’t learned a thing”, but that’s pretty close.
Car dealer and Rotary team to distribute Little Free Libraries – This was nice:
On Monday, the Little Free Library headquarters in the town of Hudson received a Little Library designed and painted by the artists of “The Simpsons” television show.
“It’s got all the Simpsons characters on it — Bart and Lisa — and is signed by Matt Groening,” Bol reported.
“He’s a friend of ours,” Bol said of Groening, the creator of “The Simpsons.”
The show’s artists made the library for Bol to use to raise money for the Little Free Library organization.
Homer Simpson on Temperament – Heh.
10 | Texts From A Stoner – Heh again.
Geek Art for the masses – The Van Gough Willie painting is on here, along with some other very good ones.
The Simpsons House – Not sure who the original artist is here, but this is pretty good.
New trending GIF tagged the simpsons homer simpson… – Precious Venus…
TV Pick of the Day – You could do a lot worse than “Lisa the Iconoclast”.
The Simpsons – “Kill the Alligator and Run” – Like this one, which the author has the good sense to pick apart.
The Anti-Love Story of Homer and Marge – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us, in this case in a long essay about the hopelessness of the ever continuing Zombie Simpsons.
“It’s not funny! . . . And the one in my pants really hurts.” – Homer Simpson
“You don’t understand, Mom and Dad take good care of us. . . . That was a baby tooth. . . . It was loose!” – Lisa Simpson
“Don’t you worry, little girl, we’ll get you some nice, county dentures.” – Child Protective Services Agent
“Dateline, Springfield, with prohibition back in force, sobriety’s peaceful slumber was shattered by its noisy neighbor, the speakeasy.” – Not Walter Winchell
“Glad you’re finally back in business, Moe.” – Homer Simpson
“Yeah, that was a scary couple of hours.” – Moe
“Everybody on, but no shoving! Just kidding, you can shove all you want!” – Otto
“We don’t usually do this, but we have some witnesses. Come in, Arthur. Now, where did Bart stick the fireworks.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“That’s where you’re wrong, pal. It’s not enough to want a cracker, you have to earn it.” – Homer Simpson
“C’mon, I’m a decent guy!” – Homer Simpson
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken