“Homey, how long do you plan to do this?” – Marge Simpson
“I don’t know, how long do horses live?” – Homer Simpson
“Thirty years.” – Marge Simpson
“D’oh.” – Homer Simpson
Archive for December, 2015
31
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
30
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Ladies and gentlemen, most of you already know that with a little love and compassion, any puppy will grow up to be a cuddly little bundle of joy. . . . Stuff and nonsense taught by charlatans and learned by bloody twits!” – Emily Winthrop
Happy birthday Tracey Ullman!
29
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Meantime, Springfield bowlers will be happy to hear that the Bowlarama is back in business at its new location: teetering over the Carter-Dixon tunnel.” – Kent Brockman
28
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Cypress Creek, a tale of one city.” – Globex Video Narrator
“Let’s watch something else.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, you’re trying to talk us into moving to this place.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Let’s watch this.” – Homer Simpson
27
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“I can’t get Maggie to eat. Maybe if you tried.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, I’m twenty-six hours late for work! No time for Maggie.” – Homer Simpson
26
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Wow, I’ll take that ring.” – Homer Simpson
“Yes, sir. And how will you be paying for it?” – The Family Jewels Salesman
“I don’t know.” – Homer Simpson
25
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Mom, this fake snow is making me dizzy.” – Lisa Simpson
“We’re almost finished. There’s just a little bit of green left.” – Marge Simpson
24
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Huzzah for the shopkeep!” – C.M. Burns
“Huzzah!” – Springfieldians
“Homer, affordable tract housing made us neighbors, but you made us friends.” – Ned Flanders
“To Ned Flanders, the richest left handed man in town.” – Homer Simpson
23
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“My germs! My precious germs! They never harmed a soul! They never even had a chance!” – C.M. Burns
Happy birthday Harry Shearer!
22
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Uncle Al, can Homer have a job?” – Barney Gumble
“Sure.” – Uncle Al
“Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson
“Barney, you’re fired.” – Uncle Al
“Okay.” – Barney Gumble
21
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Hocus pocus, mucus pukus, my powers of deduction tell me you’re getting a hand made sweater, possibly yellow.” – Bart Simpson
“Mom, make him stop!” – Lisa Simpson
“Bart, put down that yellow sweater.” – Marge Simpson
20
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“We’re screwed! Use your lightsaber!” – Mayor Quimby
“What, and break it? You know, George Lucas makes me pay for these!” – Mark Hamill
19
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Wow, only twenty-two seconds from muttering to door smashing.” – Jim Hope
“That projects to a profit of three-hundred-seventy million dollars.” – Lindsey Naegle
“I’d still sleep a little easier if I saw some trampling.” – Jim Hope
18
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Wow, we must be really flying high! Those people down there look all tiny, blurry, just like the inside of a cataract.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
17
Dec
15
Homer’s Triple Bypass Gifs
“Bed goes up, bed goes down. Bed goes up, bed goes down.” – Homer Simpson
Happy Simpsons Day everyone! In honor of this momentous occasion, we’re having .gifs. (As before, if there’s something else from this episode you’d like to see in a repeating compressed image file, please let me know.)
17
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“This is great! And all I’ve done is enter my name, Thrillhouse!” – Milhouse van Houten
Happy 20th Anniversary to “Marge Be Not Proud”! (I guess.) And Happy Simpsons Day!
16
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“I propose that I use what’s left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.” – Mayor Quimby
15
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“You got anybody in mind for your next crush?” – Milhouse van Houten
“Well, I’m really not thinking about that now. I suppose it could be almost anybody.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes!” – Milhouse van Houten
14
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“I think it’s great you’re a teacher, Dad. So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text or using the more Socratic method of interactive class participation?” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes, Lisa, Daddy’s a teacher.” – Homer Simpson
13
Dec
15
Quote of the Day
“Uh, Krusty?” – Bart Simpson
“Hang on, kid, I got a tack in my head.” – Krusty the Klown
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(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken