“You know, that nuclear power plant will be opening soon. It’s one of the few outfits around that won’t require a college education.” – Guidance Counselor
“Me in a nuclear power plant? Heh-heh-heh, kaboom!” – Homer Simpson
Archive for January, 2016
31
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
30
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“You invented Itchy? The Itchy & Scratchy Itchy?” – Bart Simpson
“Sure. In fact, I invented the whole concept of cartoon violence. Before I came along, all cartoon animals did was play the ukulele. I changed all that.” – Chester J. Lampwick
“Well, I’m not calling you a liar, but . . . but I can’t think of a way to finish that sentence.” – Bart Simpson
29
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“I can’t believe it!” – Bart Simpson
“Dad, this one gesture almost makes up for years of shaky fathering.” – Lisa Simpson
28
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Alright, time for a family meeting.” – Homer Simpson
“Why can’t we have a meeting when you’re watching TV?” – Lisa Simpson
27
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Ha! And to think, those idiot environmentalists were protesting this landfill!” – Chief Wiggum
“Solid waste, I could kiss you! . . . Eww . . . Oow . . . Ugh . . . Ooh, I think this was pizza!” – Homer Simpson
26
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Hey, look, a really small dog just fell out of Santa’s girlfriend.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh my God, she’s having babies! Oh, I’m sorry, girl, I thought you were just getting fat.” – Marge Simpson
25
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Homer, how much did you just give that man?” – Marge Simpson
“Calm down, Marge. It’s just our life savings. I’m not going to go into hock for this.” – Homer Simpson
24
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Forty-eight dollars and seventy cents . . . ah, you know we don’t usually take rusty money.” – Chief Wiggum
23
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“That’s not an award. That’s part of the set.” – Marge Simpson
“Nothing you can say will diminish this honor.” – Homer Simpson
22
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“You’re a pin monkey? Wow! Finally I don’t have to be ashamed of my father’s job.” – Bart Simpson
21
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Get out of my car!” – Selma Bouvier
“This isn’t my house.” – Hans Moleman
20
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“There you go, rat boy.” – Bart Simpson
“Does this make me look fat?” – Homer Simpson
“No, it makes you look like a tool of government oppression.” – Lisa Simpson
“But not fat?” – Homer Simpson
19
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Well, I guess Macy’s and Gimbels learned to live side by side.” – Marge Simpson
“Gimbels is gone, Marge, long gone. You’re Gimbals.” – Agnes Skinner
18
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“When I grow up, I want to be a lardo on workman’s comp, just like Dad.” – Bart Simpson
“I wash myself with a rag on a stick.” – Lardo Bart
Sanjay passes his stake in the Kwik-E-Mart to his millennial son, Jay, who turns it into a hip, health food market against Apu’s insistence on tradition. Bart, whom Homer had convinced to give up pranking, is called upon to return to his trickster life and take down the new store.
I will say that it’s good to know that the current waiting period to shit all over your own house is 19 years, 8 months. That was when “Much Apu about Nothing” aired. I know this isn’t the first time zombie simpsons has parodied a Simpsons parodied title, but this is the first time it has bothered me for some reason. Anyway enjoy. Charlie tells me we have a few week’s reprieve after this one.
17
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“What’s the hubbub? Did Moe finally blow his brains out?” – Homer Simpson
16
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“Excuse me, neighbor, I couldn’t help but notice you picked pretty much all my flowers.” – Ned Flanders
“Can’t make a float without flowers.” – Homer Simpson
“True enough. But did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?” – Ned Flanders
15
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“My name is Marge Simpson, and I have an idea. It may sound a little boring at first . . .” – Marge Simpson
“Chat away. I’ll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards.” – Mayor Quimby
14
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“You know, in my day, little boys didn’t call their elders by their first names.” – George Bush the Elder
“Yeah, well, welcome to the Twentieth Century, George.” – Bart Simpson
Happy 20th Anniversary to “Two Bad Neighbors”! Original airdate 14 January 1996.
13
Jan
16
Quote of the Day
“I don’t know what to say.” – Patty Bouvier
“Just tell me what you know I want to hear.” – Selma Terwilliger
“I’m dying of jealousy.” – Patty Bouvier
“Thank you.” – Selma Terwilliger
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken