“Ooh, they used nylon rope this time. It feels so smooth against my skin, almost sensuous.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Archive for February, 2016
29
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
28
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“But, Daddy, you’re on vacation.” – Ralph Wiggum
“Crime doesn’t take a vacation.” – Chief Wiggum
“Hey, hey, careful, you’ll pop it!” – Louie
27
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“If it isn’t my old friends from Springfield, the Simpsons! What brings you folks to New Orleans?” – Clancy Wiggum, P.I.
“Mardi gras, man! When the Big Easy calls, you gotta accept the charges.” – Bart Simpson
“Chief Wiggum, I can’t wait to hear about all the exciting, sexy adventures you’re sure to have against this colorful backdrop.” – Lisa Simpson
Happy birthday Bill Oakley!
26
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Homer, why didn’t you tell me?” – Marge Simpson
“I was ashamed, Marge. I failed you as a husband and a provider, and at best I was a B+ dog. I’ll understand if you want to sleep on the couch tonight.” – Homer Simpson
25
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“I’ll be fine! I’m sure your replacement will be able to handle everything. Who is he, anyway?” – C.M. Burns
“Homer Simpson, sir, one of your organ banks from sector 7-G. All the recent events of your life have revolved around him in some way.” – Mr. Smithers
“Simpson, eh?” – C.M. Burns
Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer the Smithers”! Original airdate 25 February 1996.
24
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“As a child, I was bitten by the acting bug. Then it burrowed under my skin and laid eggs in my heart. Now those eggs are hatching, and the feeling is indescribable.” – Moe
“I know what you mean. Our dog had that.” – Homer Simpson
23
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Don’t you see what you’ve done? Sideshow Bob hasn’t reformed, he’s pure evil! Oh, if only you knew what he’s thinking!” – Bart Simpson
“I hope they still make that shampoo I like.” – Sideshow Bob
22
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“These days, people like observational humor, about things they deal with in everyday life.” – Jay Leno
“Oh, yeah, you mean like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they’re still covered with schmutz?” – Krusty the Klown
“Well, kind of.” – Jay Leno
21
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“But Mom, I read that sport utility vehicles are more likely to be involved in fatal accidents.” – Lisa Simpson
“Fatal to the people in the other car. Let’s roll!” – Bart Simpson
20
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“But first, let’s see it again in super slow motion.” – Homer Simpson
19
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Oh, yeah, this is the life! Boy, next summer can you commit some fraud in Orlando, Florida?” – Homer Simpson
“I’m way ahead of you, Dad.” – Bart Simpson
18
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Homer, I want you to encourage Lisa with her science fair project.” – Marge Simpson
“Yeah, syrup is better than jelly.” – Homer Simpson
17
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“A hush falls over the General Assembly as Stacy approaches the podium to deliver what will no doubt be a stirring and memorable address.” – Lisa Simpson
“I wish they taught shopping in school.” – Talking Malibu Stacy
16
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“What am I supposed to do here?” – Bart Simpson
“Nothing. Just sit. I’ll be back. . . . Well, it’s been two hours, how do you feel?” – Homer Simpson
“I don’t know, I kinda want a cigarette.” – Bart Simpson
“That’s a good start, let’s get you a pack, what’s your brand?” – Homer Simpson
“Anything slim!” – Bart Simpson
“Okay, that didn’t work.” – Homer Simpson
15
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Daddy, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you.” – Ralph Wiggum
“Better start eating, kid.” – Skinny Boy
“Start eating?” – Wiggum P.I.
“I didn’t mean that way!” – Ralph Wiggum
Happy Birthday Matt Groening!
14
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“To a Heck of a Blacksmith . . . Nah, I already got him one.” – Homer Simpson
13
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Mrs K, whoever this guy is, you don’t need him. There are plenty of good men around.” – Bart Simpson
“Name one.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“What’s wrong with Principal Skinner?” – Bart Simpson
“Seymour? Let’s just say his Mommy won’t let him out to play.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“What about Coach Fortner?” – Bart Simpson
“Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Wow. What about Groundskeeper Willie?” – Bart Simpson
“I’m not even going to tell you what that guy’s into!” – Mrs. Krabappel
12
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Krusty, in regards to the large wager you made on yesterday’s horse race…” – Fat Tony
“Aw, come on, how ’bout letting me go double or nothing on the big opera tonight?” – Krusty the Klown
“Who do you like?” – Fat Tony
“The tenor!” – Krusty the Klown
“Okay. But we’re only letting the bet ride because you crack us so consistently up.” – Fat Tony
11
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“What about being an illiterate TV clown who’s still more respected than all the scientists, doctors, and educators in the country put together?” – Bart Simpson
“Yeah! I’m not gonna let those guys hog all the respect while I’m out here on some stinkin’ tub! That’s just what those eggheads want! Well, forget it poindexter, cause Krusty’s back in town!” – Krusty the Klown
Happy 20th Anniversary to “Bart the Fink”! Original airdate 11 February 1996.
10
Feb
16
Quote of the Day
“Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson
“No. . . . Oh, wait . . . now we are.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
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(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken