Quote of the Day

“Temper, temper, you know Cousin Merle ain’t been quite right lately.” – Cecil Terwilliger

Quote of the Day

“Ugh, my grampa Zev would turn over in his grave if it wasn’t filled with some veteran!” – Krusty the Klown

Quote of the Day

“And, should there be a request for an encore, we will reprise Pop Goes the Weasel. Otherwise, we will file out quietly.” – Mr. Largo

Happy birthday Danny Elfman! 

Quote of the Day

“And then they gave me back my five hundred dollar investment and kicked me out of the club.” – Marge Simpson
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, back up a bit, Marge. When are the pancakes coming in the mail?” – Homer Simpson

Reading Digest: Azaria Graduates Edition

“Now, come and get your catskins, uh, I mean sheepskins.” – Krusty the Klown

Short reading digest again this week, but we’ve got a couple of great links, including a guy who truly hates Zombie Simpsons, and an amusing YouTube video from Azaria.

Enjoy.

Hank Azaria gives graduates advice as characters from ‘The Simpsons’ during commencement speech – Azaria is a crowd pleaser, “When in doubt, always pull out the Simpsons voices”:

I don’t know if he wrote these or had one of the writers do it, but there are some pretty good ones in here. I particularly liked Apu: “Remember please, children, that in life there is nothing that is not so disgusting that it cannot be sold on a heated roller at a nearly criminal markup.”

How the weird internet is keeping The Simpsons exciting – This is an excellent summation of the ways fans have started making their own fun since Zombie Simpsons became boring. Also, this is all true:

The Simpsons has been on the air in some form or another for nearly 30 years, and it’s been terrible for twenty. The cartoon’s golden age is perfect television, my favorite TV show of all time, but in terms sheer output the bulk of The Simpsons is bad. When FXX aired a 12-day marathon of every Simpsons episode ever, a solid week of it was unwatchable. Harry Shearer was a hero for recognizing he was old, tired, and had enough money and that the only way to put the show out of its misery was for a core cast member to quit. Unfortunately, the shameless creators really believed they could recast Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, and others like it was no big deal, so Shearer relented. Not too long ago, apropos of nothing, I woke up angry The Simpsons was still on the air.

Good lad.

A look back at each act featured in The Simpsons’ ‘Homerpalooza’ – Heh:

Now: Peter is still writing, recording and touring regularly. The only thing that has really changed is going from having Frampton Comes Alive! go from every parent’s record collection to every grandparent’s record collection.

A Walk Through the Musical City of Knoxville – Knoxville will never escape The Simpsons:

Knoxville’s famed Sunsphere, a giant gold structure installed in 1982 to herald the World’s Fair, also sits near the edge of World’s Fair Park. In the decades since, the Sunsphere has become a symbol for the whole city. You can take an elevator to an observation deck on one of the Sunsphere’s lower levels, underneath a restaurant and private businesses that occupy the space—and no, none of these businesses is a wig outlet, as The Simpsons might have you believe.

Shock as Northern Ireland man solves mystery of the world’s most coveted stamp … but who is he? – Pfft, the airplane’s upside down:

Inverted Jennies are so called because they depict a US Mail biplane, erroneously printed upside down, on a 24 cent stamp.

One hundred made it into circulation in 1918 after inspectors failed to spot the mistake in a Washington DC printing works.

They have become almost mythical among stamp collectors ever since. And this particular one – No.76 – is now under tight security, having resurfaced after an astonishing 61 years at Spink auctioneers in Manhattan.

The hitherto missing stamp, which even featured in an episode of The Simpsons, was one of a block of four owned by the daughter of an executive at Dow Jones & Company, which disappeared from an exhibition in Norfolk, Virginia, in 1955.

Bart Simpson acquitted at mock trial – I am both heartened and terrified for the youths of today:

In a mock trial held May 12 at Hartley Elementary School, Bart Simpson was accused of stealing Millhouse’s Butterfinger candy bars. After much deliberation, however, a jury of fourth- and fifth-grade students found he was “not guilty.”

The educational program coincided with Justice teacher Megan Wall’s curriculum.

“The kids asked us to show them how it (the justice system) works,” Wall said. “So it’s fun and educational.”

But did anyone wear glasses with eyeballs painted on them?

The Simpsons Season Finale Review: Orange Is the New Yellow – It continues to baffle me why sites like Den of Geek even bother to review Zombie Simpsons. Look at this:

“Orange Is the New Yellow” was an okay episode. They caught a lot of the flavor of Orange is the New Black, but they didn’t skewer it. The season closer is supposed to be spectacular. I looked forward to this episode all season, which was more than a bit below par. The Simpsons may not always close with a season’s best but they are usually among the funniest. This episode doesn’t offer a single guffaw. A few chuckles and more than one smirk but nothing that really cracks me up. The plumbob song was pretty exciting, but not a highlight.

Then they give it 3/5 stars, which I guess is a 6 on the 6-9 scale, but why even bother? What would two stars look like? Would a blank screen get 1.5?

Quote of the Day

“Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.” – Homer Simpson
“Okay, Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?” – Postal Clerk
“I don’t know.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Hi, Ned, I didn’t know you were an actor.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, indeed-illy-doodily. I’ve even been in Streetcar once before. I played Blanche DuBois! Just part of the fun of going to an all-male school.” – Ned Flanders

Quote of the Day

“Oopsie! Let’s pretend we didn’t see that.” – Evan Conover

Quote of the Day

“And earlier today, I saw him asleep inside a radiation suit. Can you imagine that? It was hanging from coat hook!” – Frank Grimes
“He had three beers at lunch. That would make anybody sleepy.” – Lenny

Quote of the Day

“Listen, someone’s got to get that Mr. Burns. Where’s a gun toting lowlife when you need one?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Sorry, I was in the can.” – Snake

Sunday Preview: Orange is the New Yellow

When Marge gets arrested for letting Bart go to the park unsupervised, she serves time only to realize that prison is a welcome break from the demands of her life as a mom and wife. In her absence, Homer struggles to manage all of the parenting responsibilities that Marge usually handles.

This plot certainly sounds very familiar. But who cares if we already did this story, Orange is the New Black is really popular, and considering we’ve got Simpsonized versions of Red and Suzanne in this promo image, I’m sure we’re in for plenty of OITNB references thinly disguised as jokes.

 

Quote of the Day

“Then we figured out we could park them in front of the TV. That’s how I was raised, and I turned out TV.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Anybody up for some clog dancing?” – Luann van Houten
“Why don’t you try and stop me!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Happy birthday Rich Appel!

Reading Digest: Cake and Stupidity Edition

“See? You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a first class wedding reception.” – Homer Simpson

Zombie Simpsons had a gimmick last Sunday, which was Castellaneta taking live calls while very little happened on screen. It was novel but pointless, so as far as the desperation of their publicity stunts go, this ranks somewhere in the middle. Marketing and pageview desperation being what they are, plenty of people on the internet wrote it up. There’s a couple links below, though none of it is really all that interesting. The tl;dr version is that they used thinking machine super computers. In more savory and less advertised news, we also have two links to Simpsons cakes.

Enjoy.

Celebrating 25 Years Of The Simpsons With Cake – This is fantastic, custom baked cakes with Simpsons characters based off of other art and images. Fair use has never been this delicious.

Cooking The Simpsons: Whale of a Wife Cake – More cake! (And this one includes step-by-step instructions.)

15 Simpsons Coffee Gifs You Need In Your Life – Sprudge – These are great (thanks again, Frinkiac!), and there’s nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons.

The Simpsons live – how you can do it yourself – This is kinda neat in and of itself, but there’s no getting around the fact that it looked awful. I remember when Forrest Gump came out, there were stories on the news about all the fancy computer machines they used to make the various Presidents mouth movements from old footage. Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, all of them looked like crap then and still do now. So does this.

Woo Hoo! The Simpsons TV Show and Adobe Make Live Animation Television History – For the curious, here’s Adobe’s official explanation of it.

How ‘The Simpsons’ Will Pull Off a ‘Live’ Episode – Speakeasy – WSJ – Jean doing publicity. He’s a trooper.

The Simpsons: “Simprovised” Review – IGN – Reader Noah B sent in this link and reminded me of the old “Syngery” segment I used to do here. For those who haven’t been reading this blog since 2010, IGN (which was owned by FOX at the time) used to write these fawning reviews of Zombie Simpsons, and I used to fisk them. This isn’t nearly as bad, but is still desperately scratching for nice things to say:

The seminar itself was fairly entertaining. Having had his one and only ice-breaker stolen by Mr. Burns, Homer had a complete and total meltdown on stage. It was there we learned that Mr. Burns keeps a group of therapy hounds on call for just such a situation. Sadly, like so many episodes in recent years, the writers never managed to follow through on their initial premise.

Office workers start a Post-it war, and stick with it – Marge and Maggie made with post-it notes in a window. It’s great, they even got he pearls right.

‘The Simpsons’ Recap: 9 Truths (and 5 Lies) in Live Comedy – Here’s a fawning recap of their latest dumb publicity stunt.

America’s trendiest new bar is your living room – There are fewer bars and more liquor stores than there used to be. Since I am pro bar and pro liquor store, I don’t know how to feel about this, but here’s a nice quote from a scientist:

The local bar is a classic “third place” in American life — after work and home, it’s a place where people can go to relax, catch up on local news and above all, connect with friends and neighbors. Think of Moe’s from “The Simpsons” or Cheers from, uh, “Cheers.” Third places “are the heart of a community’s social vitality, the grassroots of democracy, but sadly, they constitute a diminishing aspect of the American social landscape,” sociologist Ray Oldenburg has written.

The Eerie Unsolved Mystery of THE SIMPSONS’ Infamous “Dead Bart” Episode – This is clickbait to the point that I almost don’t want to link it. Do people actually think this is a thing? The YouTube video they link is obviously footage from other episodes layered under a bunch of dumb video effects. Anyway, it’s not true.

5YJevvW.jpg (JPEG Image, 750 × 897 pixels) – Scaled (82%) – The kids are alright.

Vtg 90’s Bart Simpson Cropped Stonewash Denim Jacket-JKL1042 – Swanky.

Student turns Raspberry Pi into epic Simpsons episode shuffler – This is a wonderful use of technology.

Here’s how old The Simpsons family would be if they aged in real time – If we were only so lucky.

The One TV Show To Watch With Your Mother Isn’t One You’d Expect | Bustle – Via our old friends Denise and Karma, comes this belated Mother’s Day link.

Homer Simpson celebrates his 60th birthday today – Homer’s driver’s license in “Duffless” puts his birthday on May 12th, 1956. I’ve said this before and I’ll probably say it again, but part of what makes Homer (and Marge) great is that they are perfect caricatures of late model Baby Boomers.

Man Getting Hit By Football (Film) – TV Tropes – There is important stuff on the internet.  (Thanks, Noah B!)

Mike Reiss, CoCreator Of The Simpsons, Gives Us 10 Quotes So Funny Youll Be Rolling On The Floor – They’re not that funny, but they’re kinda funny:

“Donald Duck is a character right out of gay porn. He wears a sailor’s suit and no pants!”

The Simpsons Autographed Movie Poster – This is a Craigslist post:

This is a 27 x 40 “Simpsons” Movie Poster Hand Signed by Yeardley Smith, Dan Castellaneta, Nancy Cartwright, and Julie Kavner Albert Brooks, Minnie Driver, Kelsey Grammer, Pamela Hayden, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Joe Mantegna, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor, Matt Groening

All signatures are hand signed and Guaranteed to be Authentic.

Minnie Driver?

‘Family Guy’ was renewed and hardly anyone noticed – Family Guy got renewed. The dusty remnants of FOX’s animation Sunday will remain on the air for another year at least.

Admirable Animation #47: Homer Badman [The Simpsons] – YouTube – Reader Toadat sends in this YouTube video that accurately points out that “Homer Badman” and its vicious portrayal of scandal media has aged very, very well.

How the Simpsons are helping Derby Uni students learn about handwriting – This is nice and all, but I thought handwriting analysis was dismissed as quackery a hundred and sixty years ago.

The Simpsons isn’t really very funny anymore: everything we learned from Homer’s live chat – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us, even about Zombie Simpsons’ most recent stunt:

1) Live is a magic word

2) Homer didn’t exactly bomb, but he ’s better with a script.

3) The Simpsons isn’t really very funny anymore

Yup.

Quote of the Day

“My standards are just too high, you know? I feel like nobody’s good enough for me. . . . Whoa, you think you got ’em all, but you forget about the eggs.” – Otto

Bonus Quote of the Day

“Wel-diddily-elcome, Simpsons. Oh, jeeze, he actually wrote diddily.” – Homer Simpson
“That was thoughtful.” – Marge Simpson
“I left a few helpful notes around the house.” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Summer of 4 Ft. 2”! Original airdate 19 May 1996.

Quote of the Day

“Hello, bands! Who is playing with the London Symphony Orchestra? Come on, people! Somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra . . . possibly while high . . . Cypress Hill, I’m looking in your direction.” – Hullabalooza Stage Manager
“Hey, man, did we order an orchestra? . . . What’s up with this orchestra, man? . . . Where’d the orchestra come from? . . . I don’t know, man. . . . They didn’t tell me about this. . . . We gotta do something. . . .” – Cypress Hill Whispering
“Uh, yeah, yeah, we think we did.” – B-Real

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homerpalooza”! Original airdate 19 May 1996.

Quote of the Day

“What about military school? It set my brother straight. Now he owns and operates a famous cave.” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Bart, this could be priceless!” – Lisa Simpson
“Priceless like a mother’s love, or the good kind of priceless?” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“It’s just that you and Maude live like royalty in your fancy castle while I got Marge trapped over there like a pig in a mud beehive.” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, we’re not as well off as you think. We give to eight different churches just to hedge our bets.” – Ned Flanders