Quote of the Day

“Hey, fellas, I’m back!” – Homer Simpson
“Aw, that’s great. Your replacement was getting tired. Hey, Queenie, you can go now.” – Carl
“I’ll give her a good home. . . . And I did.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Look, if I was under seventeen, I’d be in school, right?” – Bart Simpson
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Enjoy Boobarama, sir.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen

Quote of the Day

“My name is Armin! This is Armin’s apartment, Armin’s liquor, Armin’s copy of Swank, Armin’s frozen peas.” – Armin Tamzarian
“Can I see your copy of Swank, Armin.” – Homer Simpson
“Yes, you can.” – Armin Tamzarian

Quote of the Day

“Let’s just give them the stupid movie.” – Mel Gibson
“Movie’s aren’t stupid! They fill us with romance and hatred and revenge fantasies.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Congressman, this is Springfield National Forest. Now, basically what we want to do is cut her down!” – Jerry the Lobbyist
“Huh.” – Congressman Bob Arnold
“As you can see in our artist’s rendition, it’s full of old growth, just aging and festering away. . . . In comes our logging company to thin out the clutter. It’s all part of nature’s, you know, cycle.” – Jerry the Lobbyist

Quote of the Day

“Marge, you’re standing in the way of my boyhood dream of managing a beautiful country singer!” – Homer Simpson
“Your boyhood dream was to eat the world’s biggest hoagie! And you did it at the county fair last year, remember?” – Marge Simpson

Bonus Quote of the Day

“Oh, here he comes. What is it now, Quimby?” – Hollywood Producer
“Nothing, nothing, only the city has just passed another tax on, uh, puffy directing pants.” – Mayor Quimby
“But I don’t wear puffy pants!” – Hollywood Director
“I meant a tax on not wearing puffy pants.” – Mayor Quimby
“Oy.” – Hollywood Producer
“I’m sorry.” – Mayor Quimby

Happy Birthday Brad Bird!

Quote of the Day

“Hi! I’m Troy McClure! You might remember me from such educational films as Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun, and Firecrackers: The Silent Killer.” – Troy McClure

Phil Hartman would’ve been sixty-eight today. Happy birthday, Phil.

Quote of the Day

“Students, I have an announcement. One of your favorite comic book heroes, Radio Man…” – Principal Skinner
“Radioactive Man, stupid!” – Nelson Muntz
“…strange, I shouldn’t have been able to hear that.” – Principal Skinner

Quote of the Day

“Ah, my gym shorts.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Mom, are those rabbits dead?” – Lisa Simpson
“No. No, Lisa, they’re just sleeping . . . upside down . . . and inside out.” – Marge Simpson

Quote of the Day

“From this day forward: I am an inventor!” – Homer Simpson
“Do us a favor, invent yourself some underpants.” – Sarcastic Guy

Quote of the Day

“Forget it, pal. There’s only one way out of here and it ain’t pretty.” – Not Jack Nicholson
“What’s that?” – Homer Simpson
“Dating the nurse.” – Not Jack Nicholson

Quote of the Day

“Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me.” – Homer Simpson
“You stupid, ha ha ha…” – TV
“D’oh!” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday David Mirkin!

Quote of the Day

“Mr. Burns! What have I done?” – Mr. Smithers

Quote of the Day

“But I mean more like inflatable furniture, or Last Supper TV trays, or even this bowling shirt. Can you believe somebody gave this to Goodwill?” – John

Quote of the Day

“Sing us a song, Shary Bobbins.” – Bart Simpson
“Yeah, sing us a song!” – Lisa Simpson
“I’ve been singing you songs all day! I’m not a bloody jukebox!” – Shary Bobbins

Quote of the Day

“We’re too late!” – Marge Simpson
“I shouldn’t have stopped for that haircut. Sorry.” – Sebastian Cobb

Quote of the Day

“How was detention today, dear?” – Marge Simpson
“Not bad. I’m starting to get the hang of the floor waxer.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I buy one lottery ticket a week with the girls at the hair salon. We each play our birthday and that’s enough excitement for me.” – Marge Simpson
“You don’t understand, Marge. The lottery is the one ray of hope in my otherwise unbearable life! . . . Uh, the lottery and you.” – Homer Simpson