“Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, I recommend getting a tattoo. It preserves the things you love. Starland Vocal Band? They suck!” – Homer Simpson
Archive for April, 2017
30
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
29
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“As soon as you’re in your pressboard coffin, I’ll be the sole survivor and the treasure will be mine.” – C.M. Burns
“Over my dead body it will!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“That’s exactly the point! Oh, Simpson, can’t you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?” – C.M. Burns
“How long was that?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
28
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“I thought I’d be jumping for joy the day Skinner left, but now all I have is this weird, hot feeling in the back of my head.” – Bart Simpson
“That’s guilt. You feel guilty because your stunt wound up costing a man his job.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yeah, I guess it is guilt.” – Bart Simpson
27
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“What’s he saying?” – Lisa Simpson
“He identifies himself as a magnet for foodstuffs. He boasts that he will banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts.” – Akira
Happy 20th Anniversary to “In Marge We Trust”! Original airdate 27 April 1997.
26
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Listen, Homer, I hate to be a fussy Freddy and all, but Maude’s folks are here are they’re a tad touchy about odors.” – Ned Flanders
“Then you might want to close your windows before the sun hits Diaper Hill.” – Homer Simpson
“Look, Daddy, I’m the king of the mountain!” – Rod Flanders
“Rod get off of there!” – Ned Flanders
25
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Wow, you made the front page.” – Homer Simpson
“Aw, Dad, it’s just a popularity contest.” – Bart Simpson
“Just a popularity contest? Excuse me, what’s more important than popularity?” – Homer Simpson
24
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Marge, how much would you pay for a self flipping hamburger pan?” – Homer Simpson
“Nothing.” – Marge Simpson
“Don’t answer yet!” – Homer Simpson
23
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“I don’t understand this. Why can’t you stay with your parents?” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, the admiral and don’t get along!” – Otto
22
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Well, as long as I’m asking something, can I ask him to assuage my fears that he’s contaminating the planet in a manner that may one day render it uninhabitable?” – Lisa Simpson
“No, dear, the card question will be fine.” – Burns for Governor Campaign Manager
21
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Whoa, Otto man, you work here?” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, yeah. During the day all my friends are in school, so I got a job as a certified, blood letting tech dude!” – Otto
“Now let’s get this show on the road.” – Homer Simpson
“Okay, lemme wash up.” – Otto
20
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Excuse me, Mr. Burns, now that you’re completely ruined, how do you feel?” – Kent Brockman
“Excellent. I’m on my way back to the top! I’ve turned these cans into can-do!” – C.M. Burns
“Well, you smell terrible. Good luck to you, sir.” – Kent Brockman
Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Old Man and the Lisa”! Original airdate 20 April 1997.
19
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“The old Union Pacific doesn’t come by here much anymore…” – Lisa Simpson
18
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“And you’ll find that saving for your future is far more thrilling than any roller coaster.” – Bank Professional In an Ape Costume
“Really? Wow! I should’ve started a long time ago!” – Bart Simpson
“Um-hmm, now fill out these forms. I’m sure you’ll find them more exciting than a weekend with Batman.” – Bank Professional in a Ape Costume
17
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Hey, sorry! I thought you were a deer.” – Mike Scioscia
“That’s okay, happens all the time.” – Mr. Smithers
16
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Simpson, I always thought you were sneaky and manipulative. But now I see you’re really a very sensitive little boy.” – Principal Skinner
“Thank you, sir.” – Bart Simpson
“Aww.” – Principal Skinner
15
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Welcome to Remedial Science 1A. My wife recently passed away, I thought teaching might ease my loneliness.” – Dondelinger
“Will this be on the test?” – Homer Simpson
“No!” – Dondelinger
“Oh.” – Homer Simpson
14
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Holy cats, man! We’re starting to wobble!” – C.M. Burns
“Get . . . me . . . to . . . a . . . hospital. You . . . have . . . to . . . peddle.” – Mr. Smithers
“Oh, Tuttle’s Sunday trousers!” – C.M. Burns
13
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“I love this song. Shut up! I love this song. . . . Shut up, Lou. . . . I’m jamming, jamming, and I hope you like jamming too . . .” – Chief Wiggum
Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Canine Mutiny”! Original airdate: 13 April 1997.
12
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“I got a mink shammy, sir, I hope it-…Oh, my god, Mr. Burns is dead! Oh, why do the good always die so young?” – Mr. Smithers
11
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Alright, just go ahead and sue me! Everybody else does! The average settlement is sixty-eight thousand dollars.” – Homer Simpson
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(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
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