Quote of the Day

“It’s so nice to have a peaceful weekend together.” – Marge Simpson
“Yeah, I’m bored too.” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Homer Simpson? Oh, yeah, junior varsity shot putter. I think if he applies himself, you know, trains real hard, hits the weights, he could go another foot.” – Coach Flanagan
“I had him for four years! Solid C student. Made a lamp last year!” – Mr. Sikovski

Quote of the Day

“Homer, I’m happy to say that your father only had a mild arrhythmia.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Mild? There wasn’t anything mild about it! Now get back to the pharmacy you quack!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Look at that, kids. No fighting. No yelling.” – Homer Simpson
“No belching.” – Bart Simpson
“The dad has a shirt on.” – Lisa Simpson
“Look! Napkins!” – Marge Simpson
“These people are obviously freaks.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.” – Ralph Wiggum
“Baby looked at you?” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Chief Wiggum, ooh, you sure got a lot of copies of the paper.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yeah, I need to housebreak our new police dog. Plus, it couldn’t hurt Ralphie to brush up on the fundamentals.” – Chief Wiggum
“Daddy says I’m this close to living in the yard!” – Ralph Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such public service videos as Designated Drivers: The Life Saving Nerds, and Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness.” – Troy McClure

Quote of the Day

“I want to share something with you: the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one: ‘Cover for me’. Number two: ‘Oh, good idea, boss!’. Number three: ‘It was like that when I got here’.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Let’s see, Social Security number, naught naught naught naught naught naught naught naught two. Damn Roosevelt.” – C.M. Burns

Quote of the Day

“I was in Heaven. If horse racing is the sport of kings, then surely bowling is . . . a very good sport, as well.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Now, what do we say when we get to the ticket booth?” – Homer Simpson
“We’re under six.” – Bart & Lisa Simpson
“And I’m a college student!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“You know, Homer, you’ve always been such a good provider, but when we got married, Mr. Berger promised I could come back to my old job any time I wanted.” – Marge Simpson
“You think you can still do that kind of work?” – Homer Simpson
“Sure, you never forget. It’s just like riding a bicycle.” – Marge Simpson
“Hey, mama, where’s my fries already?” – Otto

Quote of the Day

“Next, blanket your community with flyers. A phony tickertape parade will help you avoid littering laws.” – Frank Ormond
“Welcome back, space girl!” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Stop remembering TV and get back to work!” – Marge Simpson
“What’s the point of all this cleaning? Are we so vain?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I’m breaking curfew, Mom.” – Nelson Muntz
“We’re out of skoal!” – Mrs. Muntz

Quote of the Day

“Yes? What happened? When did that happen? How much of it? Oh, my goodness, I’ll be right up. Homer, I gotta go upstairs, there’s a problem. Somebody ate part of my lunch.” – Hank Scorpio

Quote of the Day

“Howdy, neighbor! May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Ehh, spray the boy.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“You know, a town with money’s a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it, and dang’d if he knows how to use it!” – Lyle Lanely

Quote of the Day

“How ’bout ‘He’, two points. Your turn, dear.” – Marge Simpson
“How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters? Oh, wait, here’s a good one: Do.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I’m telling you: I saw a creature from another planet!” – Homer Simpson
“Maybe you just dreamed it?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, yeah? Well, when I came to I was covered with a sticky, translucent goo. Explain that!” – Homer Simpson
“More sausage?” – Marge Simpson