Quote of the Day

“Man, this thing is heavy.” – Repo Depot Guy #1
“You should lift with your legs.” – Repo Depot Guy #2
“Ah, screw it. I got health insurance.” – Repo Depot Guy #1

Quote of the Day

“Wow! Can I see your club?” – Bart Simpson
“It’s called a baton, son.” – Lou
“Oh. What’s it for?” – Bart Simpson
“We club people with it.” – Lou

Quote of the Day

“How’s Dad today?” – Lisa Simpson
“Not too good, Lisa. Frankly, he’s underneath the table.” – Marge Simpson
“Nobody make me any breakfast. A man so deeply in debt doesn’t deserve it.” – Homer Simpson
“But I like to make you breakfast!” – Marge Simpson
“In that case, I’ll just have french toast with double butter and a side of bacon. But no powdered sugar, I don’t deserve it. . . . Maybe a little powdered sugar.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Homer, you embarrassed us in front of the whole congregation! And today’s sermon was one you should’ve really listened to.” – Marge Simpson
“What was it about?” – Homer Simpson
“Gambling.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh. He didn’t by any chance say that under certain circumstances it was alright, did he?” – Homer Simpson
“No!” – Marge Simpson

Whoopsie Quote of the Day

“I wager four hundred quatloos on the newcomer.” – NASA Guy

Quote of the Day

“You’ve brought shame to this family, Cecil. Oh, I don’t relish having to write the Christmas letter this year.” – Sideshow Bob
“Nor I to read it. You know, Bob, all this time I thought you were a bungler. But, destroying a city is far tougher than I thought.” – Cecil

Quote of the Day

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” – Canyonero Guy #1
“I hope so.” – Canyonero Guy #2
“I thought I made myself clear in Boston.” – Canyonero Guy #1

Quote of the Day

“Every day we’re losing ground to the Japanese, and I want to know why!” – Herb Powell
“Unfair trade practices?” – Female Executive
“Mushy headed, One Worlders in Washington?” – Male Executive #1
“Some sort of gypsy curse?” – Male Executive #2

Quote of the Day

“Hey, what happened to all the shirtless girls you see in all the geographical magazines?” – Homer Simpson
“Craig and Amy gave us the gift of shame.” – Q’Toktok

Quote of the Day

“Hello, Southern Hemisphere? Which way does the water go in your toilet?” – Bart Simpson
“Just a minute, I’ll check.” – Older Polar Researcher
“Ah, nuts.” – Younger Polar Researcher

Quote of the Day

“I’ve grown a futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids.” – Lisa Simpson
“The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence?” – Bart Simpson
“The very same!” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Change what she says. It’s your company.” – Lisa Simpson
“Not since I was forced out in 1974. They said my way of thinking just wasn’t cost effective.” – Stacy Lovell
“That’s awful.” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, that, and I was funneling profits to the Vietcong.” – Stacy Lovell

Quote of the Day

“Wow, an actual robot from the movie ‘Clank, Clank, You’re Dead’. Think of awful it’d be for the poor midget inside.” – Lisa Simpson
“Aww boo-hoo. That’s what they get paid for.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Young man, you need to do some serious boning!” – Principal Skinner

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Das Bus”! Original airdate 15 Feb 1998. (Oh, and happy birthday to some guy name Groening.)

Quote of the Day

“Okay, Dad, I’ll be persistent. Is that how you got Mom?” – Ralph Wiggum
“Well, son, never underestimate the appeal of a man in uniform.” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Bingo-bango sugar in the gas tank! Your ex-husband strikes again.” – Mechanic

Quote of the Day

“Pfft, clown college? You can’t eat that.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Dr. Hibbert, who was that man?” – Bart Simpson
“Bart, telling you would violate the patient doctor privilege. Just as if I were to tell you that Jasper here has five seconds to live.” – Dr. Hibbert
“What’d he say?” – Jasper
“He said I’m next!” – Mrs. Glick

Quote of the Day

“Stop being such babies! You can’t be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I’m using a . . . Apu, what do you call this things again?” – Homer Simpson
“A napkin.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Hahahaha, outrageous!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?” – Milhouse van Houten