Quote of the Day

“Excuse me, my good man, I have five hundred dollars to blow. What’ve you got?” – Bart Simpson
“Behold, the ultimate pog!” – Comic Book Guy

Quote of the Day

“Bart, the fact is you don’t have to be able to read to enjoy the Springfield Review of Books. Just look at these amusing caricatures of Gore Vidal and Susan Sontag.” – Sideshow Bob

Quote of the Day

“Grampa! I don’t mind when you spit at home, but I have to work with these people.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, jabber-jacks! Schoolhouse don’t put out spittoons, I ain’t responsible.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Then the calls began.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“I think I may be coveting my own wife. . . . I’m meek, but I could probably stand to be meeker. . . . I think I swallowed a toothpick!” – Ned Flanders

Quote of the Day

“John Paul, how are the new uniforms? Do they match the suede boots? Beautiful! Did you get the new trucks? Are they amphibious? Well, there’s only one way to find out!” – Sanitation Commissioner Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to Simpsons classic “Trash of the Titans”! Original airdate 26 April 1998.

Quote of the Day

“Full speed ahead! Damn the torpedoes!” – Bart Simpson
“What’d he say? Put on our tuxedos?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“I want some taquitos.” – Old Jewish Guy

Quote of the Day

“You’ll have lots of special people in your life, Lisa. There’s probably some place where they all get together and the food is real good and guys like me are serving drinks.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“You know, people think there are only five members of Spinal Tap. But they’re wrong.” – Derek Smalls
“Could we turn up the house lights, please? That was the cue to turn up the house lights so we can tell the audience they’re the sixth member of the friggin’ group!” – David St. Hubbins
“We are trying to put a tiny thrill into their gray, little lives. Oh, forget it.” – Nigel Tufnel

Quote of the Day

“This isn’t very erotic. I think an actual a utility room.” – Marge Simpson
“No, honey, it’s a romantic fantasy. I imagine I’m the janitor, and you’re . . . the janitor’s wife, who has to live with me in the utility room.” – Homer Simpson
“Don’t mind me, folks. Just need to get the old wet-dry vac.” – Aphrodite Inn Guy

Quote of the Day

“Hello, I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such instructional videos as ‘Mothballing Your Battleship’ and ‘Dig Your Own Grave and Save!’.” – Troy McClure

Quote of the Day

“And the windows are from the old liquor bottles we collected. . . . Hey! I thought I told you to stop licking my windows!” – C.M. Burns
“I know. You told me. And when I woke up this morning, I said, Barney, you’re not gonna lick that man’s windows…” – Barney Gumble

Quote of the Day

“Oh, for pete’s sakes, why is that monkey wearing a diaper?” – Marge Simpson
“Enh.” – Homer Simpson & Mojo the Helper Monkey

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Girly Edition”! Original airdate 19 April 1998.

Quote of the Day

“Uh, let’s see. The exports of Libya are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn, or, as the Indians call it, maize. Another famous Indian was Crazy Horse. In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrasts. Thank you.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Hey, what’s goin’ on on this side?” – Cletus The Slack Jawed Yokel

Quote of the Day

“Otto, why don’t you get some more gas. Here’s the ‘credit card’.” – Principal Skinner
“Ugh.” – Otto
“And a mint for afterwards!” – Principal Skinner

Quote of the Day

“Look, there’s only one reasonable way to settle this: rock, paper, scissors.” – Lisa Simpson
“Poor, predictable Bart. Always takes rock.” – Lisa’s Brain
“Good old rock, nothing beats that!” – Bart’s Brain
“Rock!” – Bart Simpson
“Paper.” – Lisa Simpson
“D’oh!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I think Bart and Lisa are feeling a little upset right now. Isn’t there something you’d like to say?” – Marge Simpson
“There sure is: kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“You a winner! Ha ha ha! You a winner! Ha ha ha! You a winner! Ha ha ha!” – Pachinko Machine

Quote of the Day

“Although officially I am required to hate you, I want you to know: I do not feel it in my heart.” – Adil

Quote of the Day

“Look, Pop, I’m planning some expert home repairs and I need a pair of bolt cutters, or wire cutters, or something to get the lock off my toolbox.” – Homer Simpson