Quote of the Day

“Moe’s Tavern? . . . Hold on, I’ll check. Hey, everybody, I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.” – Moe

Quote of the Day

“Hello, police? This is Marge Simpson, my husband is on a murderous rampage! Over.” – Marge Simpson
“Well, thank God that’s over. I was worried there for a second.” – Chief Wiggum

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Good morning, everybody! Panic is gripping Springfield as giant advertising mascots rampage through the city. Perhaps it’s part of some daring new ad campaign, but what new product could justify such carnage? A cleanser, a fat free fudge cake that doesn’t let you down in the flavor department like so many others?” – Kent Brockman

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“Behold mighty Caesar, in all his glory!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“You don’t forget a thing like Siamese twins!” – Dr. Hibbert
“I believe they prefer to be called conjoined twins.” – Lisa Simpson
“And hillbillies prefer to be called sons of the soil, but it ain’t gonna happen.” – Dr. Hibbert

Quote of the Day

“If they’re really witches, why don’t they use their powers to escape?” – Lisa Simpson
“That sounds like witch talk to me, Lisa.” – Homer Simpson
“Nevermind!” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Mom! Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire and he has Bart!” – Lisa Simpson
“Why, Bart is right here.” – C.M. Burns
“Hello, Mother. Hello, Father. I missed you during my uneventful absence.” – Bart Simpson

Happy birthday Nancy Cartwright!

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Everyone Snake swore revenge on is being murdered!” – Bart Simpson
“It’s almost as if he’s killing from beyond the grave!” – Marge Simpson
“I told you capital punishment isn’t a deterrent.” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Alright, Collector, stick this in your tweezers: I’m not Xena! I’m an actress, you lunatic!” – Lucy Lawless
“Oh, please, I’m not insane. I simply wish to take you back to my lair and make you my bride.” – The Collector

Quote of the Day

“Welcome to the Springfield Shopper, established in 1883. The newspaper was founded by Johnny Newspaperseed, a fourteen year old boy who roamed America, founding newspapers.” – Newspaper Tour Guide
“If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Here are several fine young men who I’m sure are gonna go far. Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones.” – Mr. Smithers
“Ah, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves.” – C.M. Burns
“I’d just like to say this gig sucks.” – Joey Ramone
“Hey, up yours, Springfield.” – Johnny Ramone

Quote of the Day

“A&M is gonna kick your ivy covered butts!” – Carl
“Yeah, well you went to a cow college!” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, you’re only calling us a cow college cause we was founded by a cow.” – Lenny

Quote of the Day

“Well, sir, I hate to be a Suspicious Aloysius on you, but did you steal my air conditioner?” – Ned Flanders
“Well, I admit it looks bad, Flanders. But haven’t you heard of, ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’?” – Homer Simpson
“Got him, Dad!” – Rod Flanders

Quote of the Day

“Good morning, Springfield! Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Winfield!” – Homer Simpson
“Why don’t you get a haircut, you hippie!” – Mr. Winfield
“Good morning, Moe’s Tavern!” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, it’s the President.” – Barney Gumble
“Good morning everybody!” – Homer Simpson
“Good morning!” – Funeral Mourners

Quote of the Day

“I think that game is too old for her. Why don’t you go  play with Milhouse?” – Marge Simpson
“I don’t wanna play with Milhouse.” – Bart Simpson
“You mean you still haven’t made up with him?” – Marge Simpson
“It’s his mom. She says I’m a bad influence. C’mon, Maggie, let’s go throw rocks at that hornet’s nest.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Are we done?” – Lisa Simpson
“We are just warming up.” – Turn Your Head and Coif Guy
“Uh, isn’t this dangerous?” – Lisa Simpson
“Don’t worry, I am well protected.” – Turn Your Head and Coif Guy

Quote of the Day

“When I grow up, I’m going to Bovine University!” – Ralph Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“For the love of God, sir! There are two seats!” – Mr. Smithers
“I like to put my feet up.” – C.M. Burns

Quote of the Day

“Enh, this junk was hardly worth getting up for. Maybe if I go back to sleep for a few days some good mail will build up.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Springfield. They had brought the sacred tree back to its native soil, and though Flanders was stuck with the impound fee, he could easily afford it.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson