Quote of the Day

“Alright, smart guy, where’s the fire?” – Chief Wiggum
“Over there.” – Homer Simpson
“Okay, you just bought yourself a 317, pointing out police stupidity! . . . Or is that a 314?” – Chief Wiggum

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Of course, there’s no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So, let’s turn it on. Now, this technology is new to me, but I’m pretty sure that’s Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over four hundred degrees. He’s literally stewing in his own juices!” – Kent Brockman

Quote of the Day

“When we come back, we’ll show you the contents of a supermodel’s stomach.” – Guinness Book of World Records Host
“What an age we live in.” – Homer Simpson
“Look at all that Sweet & Low.” – Marge Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“How ironic, my crusade against television has come to an end so formulaic it could’ve spewed from the Powerbook of the laziest Hollywood hack!” – Sideshow Bob

Quote of the Day

“Now, let’s talk rust-proofing. These Colecos’ll rust up on you like that . . . shut up, Gil, close the deal! Close the deal!” – Gil

Quote of the Day

“Homer, did you know it was a burlesque house when you sent Bart to work there?” – Marge Simpson
“No! I only learned that four days ago.” – Homer Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Um, you know, I can’t afford to pay you.” – Lisa Simpson
“I didn’t become a scientist for financial gain. Whatever little money you have will be just fine.” – Stephen Jay Gould

Quote of the Day

“When is that boy going to apologize?” – Selma Bouvier
“He sure is stubborn.” – Patty Bouvier
“Homer was never stubborn. He always folded instantly over anything. It was as if he had no will of his own. Isn’t that true, Homer?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Yes, Dad.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Hi, Moe. Where’s that waitress of yours?” – Homer Simpson
“She left to pursue her movie career. Frankly, I think she was better off here.” – Moe

Quote of the Day

“This book must be out of date. I don’t see Prussia, Siam, or Auto-Gyro.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Barney, you stole my idea.” – Homer Simpson
“Don’t worry, Homer. There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition.” – Barney Gumble

Quote of the Day

“You did it, Dad! You saved us! I’m proud you’re my father.” – Bart Simpson
“Go away. Eating.” – Homer Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Next to spring and winter, fall is my absolute favorite season!” – Marge Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Our last bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money! Let’s hear it for: Moe!” – Krusty the Klown

Quote of the Day

“Now, c’mon, give your putter a name.” – Homer Simpson
“What?” – Bart Simpson
“Give it a name.” – Homer Simpson
“Mr. Putter.” – Bart Simpson
“You want to try a little harder, son? C’mon, give it a girl’s name.” – Homer Simpson
“Mom.” – Bart Simpson
“Your putter’s name is Charlene.” – Homer Simpson
“Why?” – Bart Simpson
“It just is, that’s why.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Bart! . . . You can’t weld with such a little flame. Stupid kid.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“In that case, I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island! . . . Don’t worry, it’s just a name.” – Chief Justice
“He said it was just a name!” – Lisa Simpson
“What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula!” – Monster Island Resident Geography Expert

Quote of the Day

“But, Marge, I think he should learn about it the same way I did.” – Homer Simpson
“Are you sure?” – Marge Simpson
“Zookeeper! Zookeeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other!” – Homer Simpson
“They’re having sex.” – Zookeeper
“Oh.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Ooh, it’s that new show about the policeman who solves crime in his spare time.” – Homer Simpson
“Crank it, Homer!” – Bart Simpson
“You busted up that crack house pretty bad, McGarnagle. Did you really have to break so much furniture?” – The Chief
“You tell me, Chief. You had a pretty good view from behind your desk.” – McGarnagle
“Ah, McGarnagle, eases the pain.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“You’ll be okay, Dad. Just make sure he hits you an even number of times so you don’t end up with amnesia.” – Bart Simpson