Quote of the Day

“Ten . . . nine . . . eight . . . eight . . . eight . . . eight . . .” – Springfield New Year’s Crowd
“Oh, will this horrible year never end?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Okay, people, we need to cook up a new holiday for the summer. Something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables.” – Costington’s Boss
“How ’bout something religious? We had great penetration last spring with Christmas 2!” – Costington’s Executive

Quote of the Day

“Oh, it’ll be fun! We’re gonna go through our old cancelled checks and receipts and give ourselves an audit, make sure we don’t owe anything extra.” – Ned Flanders
“Oh, I’m sure I’d be a third wheel.” – Homer Simpson
“Oh-no, siree, we’d be happy as hens to have-” – Ned Flanders
“I would make it my business to be a third wheel.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Alright, settle, people. People, settle. People! Wood and Van Zuyland, stake out Donut Land. When they fry up a fresh batch, call it in. Keneally and Earhart, back ’em up. Fitz and Garcia, it’s your turn to sleep in. And Simpson, seeing how this is your first day, you’re inexperienced and vulnerable, your beat is Junkieville and Bumtown.” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“That’s it! I’m gonna report this to me member of Parliament! Hey, Gus! I got something to report to ya!” – Bruno Drundridge
“That’s a bloody outrage it is! I’m gonna take this all the way to the Prime Minister! . . . Hey, Mister Prime Minister! . . . Andy!” – Gus, MP
“Hey, mates, what’s the good word?” – Andy, PM

Quote of the Day

“Oh, honey, you know how it turns out. After all, you wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t become the responsible head of a household.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, Homer, can we have a can of frosting for lunch?” – Bart Simpson
“Okay.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“How’d you know that thing would work?” – Bart Simpson
“Well, the sound is just brutal. And I figured reindeer would naturally be afraid of their cruel master, Santa Claus.” – John

Quote of the Day

“Dear Santa, if you bring me lots of good stuff, I promise not to do anything bad between now and when I wake up. Amen.” – Bart Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Ice to see you.” – McBain

Happy (belated) birthday, Harry Shearer!

Quote of the Day

“Dear Lord, please make tonight’s production better than Othello with Peter Marshall.” – Ned Flanders

Quote of the Day

“That’s not as fun as it looks.” – Homer Simpson
“Nothing could be as fun as that looks.” – Lisa Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Is it a masterpiece or just some guy with his pants down? That’s our topic tonight on Smartline.” – Kent Brockman

Quote of the Day

“Please, sir, put some shoes on.” – Principal Skinner
“What, you don’t like my bags?” – Moe

Quote of the Day

“Oh, my God! This man is my exact double! . . . That dog has a puffy tail! . . . Here puff! Here puff!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Can we keep him, Dad? Please!” – Bart Simpson
“But he’s a loser! He’s pathetic! He’s . . . a Simpson.” – Homer Simpson

Happy Simpsons Day, everybody!

Quote of the Day

“Bah! To Hell with this! Get my razor! Draw a bath! And get these kleenex boxes off my feet!” – C.M. Burns
“Certainly, sir. . . .And, uh, the jars of urine?” – Mr. Smithers
“Oh, we’ll hang on to those.” – C.M. Burns

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Let’s vote. My liver is failing.” – Jasper

Quote of the Day

“Can you open my milk, mommy?” – Ralph Wiggum
“I’m not mommy, Ralph. I’m Miss Hoover.” – Miss Hoover

Quote of the Day

“Though it was unusual to spend twenty-eight minutes reporting on a doll, this reporter found it impossible to stop talking. It’s just really fascinating news, folks. Good night. . . . Oh, and the President was arrested for murder, more on that tomorrow night or you can turn to another channel. . . . Oh, do not turn to another channel.” – Kent Brockman

Makeup Quote of the Day

“I’m new in town. Be there a cool loch where a lass could wash her long, red hair?” – Hot Scot
“Nay, but there’s a pool at me apartment complex. There was a rat in the deep end . . . but we got him!” – Groundskeeper Willie
“Ach, lead on!” – Hot Scot