“Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.” – DJ 3000
“How does he keep up with the news like that?” – Bill
Archive for March, 2019
30
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. . . . No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong, good night. . . . Hello? Tennessee State Police! . . . No, my son’s car was not crushed in Knoxville. I don’t know where to begin telling you what’s wrong with that. . . . Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam. . . . Homer, are you laughing at me?” – Marge Simpson
29
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“A seagull took my sailor hat.” – Homer Simpson
28
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Music is none of my business.” – Marge Simpson
“That’s fine for you, Marge, but I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I’m lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.” – Homer Simpson
Happy birthday, Alf Clausen!
27
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Homer, this is a terrible thing that’s happened. But we can’t blame ourselves.” – Marge Simpson
“We can and will!” – Homer Simpson
“Children need discipline! You can ask any syndicated advice columnist.” – Marge Simpson
Happy birthday, George Meyer!
26
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“We’ll take two tickets to . . . The Stockholm Affair.” – Homer Simpson
“Ooh, the paper called it a taught political thriller.” – Marge Simpson
“Political? Oh.” – Homer Simpson
“Mr. President, disturbing news. Serious cracks developing in the Greco-Bolivian alliance.” – Movie General
“Get me Jed Collick!” – Movie President
25
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Look! It’s glorious!” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
“It’s beautiful, man.” – Otto
“I love you, Smithers.” – C.M. Burns
“The feeling is more than mutual, sir.” – Mr. Smithers
24
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Troy, my man, it’s MacArthur Parker.” – MacArthur Parker
“MacArthur Parker the agent? MacArthur Parker my agent?” – Troy McClure
“Just checkin’ in, my friend. So, how’s my favorite client?” – MacArthur Parker
“We haven’t spoken in eight years.” – Troy McClure
“Yes! So, I saw the papers today, Troy. Looking good, that wholesome stuff really helps when I’m trying to find you work.” – MacArthur Parker
“You haven’t found me work in twelve years.” – Troy McClure
“Oh, you, jury duty is work.” – MacArthur Parker
23
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Son, why are you wasting your time with this sleazy trash?” – Hypocritical Man
“Sorry, Dad.” – Guilty Son
“Wait till I show the guys at work this little doozy.” – Hypocritical Man
22
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Video taping this crime spree is the best idea we ever had.” – Jimbo Jones
21
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“I told you, officer. I’m not ‘hepped up’ on ‘goofballs’.” – Ned Flanders
“Yeah, right.” – Chief Wiggum
“Ned Flanders? I never would’ve imagined.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Ohh . . . oof!” – Ned Flanders
“High as a kite, everybody! Goofballs!” – Chief Wiggum
20
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Let’s go, Marge! C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, you know I have a gambling problem.” – Marge Simpson
“Well, what better place to celebrate your recovery than amidst the frenzied excitement of the casino floor?” – Homer Simpson
20
Mar
19
Makeup Quote of the Day
“I love these new planes.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes, it’s a good thing they reevaluated those wacky old designs.” – Hugh Parkfield
18
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“See you in church on Sunday, Marge.” – Helen Lovejoy
“Goodbye, Helen.” – Marge Simpson
“Goodbye, Helen! . . . You have a lovely friend there. Let’s hope something runs over her.” – Jacques
18
Mar
19
Makeup Quote of the Day
“That does it! One of them has to go!” – Marge Simpson
“Okay. Grampa.” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Marge Simpson
16
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Our laws are in place for a reason…” – Rex Banner
“Send him back to momma, boys.” – Chief Wiggum
16
Mar
19
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Behold mighty Caesar, in all his glory!” – Homer Simpson
“One more step and you’re a dead man.” – Bart Simpson
“I have to go to the bathroom, Bart.” – Martin Prince
“Yeah, right, so do I, but you don’t see me gettin’ up.” – Bart Simpson
13
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Wow! You’ve got pencils with your name on ’em, just like a pencil company executive! I’d give anything for one of these.” – Homer Simpson
“Any office supply company can have ’em made up for you.” – Frank Grimes
“Can I have this one?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Frank Grimes
“Can Lenny have it?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Frank Grimes
12
Mar
19
Quote of the Day
“Recapping our day’s top story, the winner of today’s state lottery is . . . me, Kent Brockman. Can we get a shot of me? There you go.” – Kent Brockman
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(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken