Quote of the Day

“I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gas-brake-honk. Gas-brake-honk. Honk-honk-punch. Gas-gas-gas.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Alcohol is a way of life! Alcohol is my way of life and I aim to keep it!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I’m going to clown college!” – Homer Simpson
“I don’t think any of us expected him to say that.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Ka-boom! That, the sound of the thunderous volcanic explosion which gives birth to the magnificent geode!” – Martin Prince

RIP, Russi Taylor. Thanks for all the laughs.

Quote of the Day

“We really appreciate you taking the children on such short notice.” – Marge Simpson
“We’ll have fun, won’t we, kids?” – Selma Bouvier
“To get to Duff Gardens I’d ride with Satan himself.” – Bart Simpson
“That’s the spirit!” – Selma Bouvier

Quote of the Day

“Oh, no! He’s going over the falls!” – Carl
“Oh, good, he snagged that tree branch.” – Lenny
“Oh, no! The branch broke off!” – Carl
“Oh, good, he can grab onto them pointy rocks.” – Lenny
“Oh, no! Them rocks broke his arms and legs!” – Carl
“Oh, good, those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him.” – Lenny
“Oh, no! They’re biting him! And stealing his pants.” – Carl

Quote of the Day

“Did you see the bubble?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“This cross-country flight from the law would be hell if we didn’t stick together!” – Rebelling Woman #1
“Hey, friends stick together.” – Rebelling Woman #2
“It’s amazing how through all this adversity we managed to stick together.” – Rebelling Woman #3
“If there’s one thing decent folk do, it’s stick together.” – Rebelling Woman #4
“I hate it when the waffles stick together.” – Waitress
“Stickin’ together’s what good waffles do.” – Cook

Quote of the Day

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought this was a family restaurant.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Oh, it is. It is. Just, uh, pull them stools up to the pool table.” – Moe
“Daddy, this place smells like tinkle.” – Not Rudy
“I think we’ll just go to the Texas Cheesecake Depository.” – Dr. Hibbert

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Homer, on your way out, if you want to kill somebody, it would help me a lot.” – Hank Scorpio

Happy (one day belated) Birthday, Albert Brooks! 

Quote of the Day

“Mrs. Simpson, if you set out to push the bile to the tip of my throat: mission accomplished!” – Llewellyn Sinclair

Happy Birthday, Jon Lovitz! 

Quote of the Day

“The Itchy and Scratchy movie is the defining event of our generation. How would you have liked it if someone told you that you couldn’t watch the moon landing?” – Lisa Simpson
“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil Armstrong
♫“Yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you.”♫ – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Ozzie Smith seems to have vanished off the face of the Earth.” – Mr. Smithers
“Ahhhhhhhhh! . . . Cool! . . . Ahhhhhhhh!” – Ozzie Smith

Quote of the Day

“I’m thirsty. Eww, what smells like mustard? There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Ooh, look at that one!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Do you have a bigger brother for me yet? . . . Okay. I’ll be back in an hour.” – Pepe
“I’ll take him! . . . Do you have him in blond?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Wow, honey, you sold a house and got rid of the Flanders! . . . What’s for dinner?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“And as my final newscast draws to a close, I’m reminded of a few of the events that brought me closer to you: the collapse of the Soviet Union, premium ice cream price wars, dogs that were mistakenly issued major credit cards and others who weren’t so lucky.” – Kent Brockman

Quote of the Day

“What are you doing to save my baby boy?” – Marge Simpson
“Well, ma’am, we’ve located a piece of machinery in Shreveport, Louisiana that could pop him out lickety split.” – Chief Wiggum
“Well, why don’t you get it?” – Marge Simpson
“I’m afraid we’ve got a budget problem, Mrs. Simpson. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. Had he done it at the start of the fiscal year, no problemo.” – Chief Wiggum
“You’re telling me that the city won’t pay to get a boy out of a well!” – Marge Simpson
“Well, they would have for Timmy, people loved that little guy. But your son, well, he kinda played us all for a bunch of saps.” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“You folks ready to begin?” – Roger Meyers Jr.
“Uh, I guess. Is this episode going on the air live?” – Homer Simpson
“No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It’s a terrible strain on the animators’ wrists.” – June Bellamy

Quote of the Day

“Do you think we’ll ever see her again?” – Lisa Simpson
“I’m sure we will, honey. I’m sure we will.” – Homer Simpson