Quote of the Day

“Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.” – Kent Brockman
“My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist . . . but he is not a porn star.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“So much steak . . . lungs filling, sinuses packed with meat . . .” – Homer Simpson
“C’mon, Dad, just twelve more pounds!” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, humans are so ridiculous. He’s not even halfway through Walter and he’s already hallucinating.” – Sentient Bull

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of keno, craps, and the loosest slots in town! My philosophy is: enjoy.” – Plato

Quote of the Day

“Hey, Colonel Homer! And you must be-” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“Mrs. Homer Simpson.” – Marge Simpson
“Charmed.” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“I thought you said she was overweight.” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie, and one to listen.” – Homer Simpson;

Quote of the Day

“Dad, can I talk to you something?” – Bart Simpson
“Sure, boy, what’s on your mind?” – Homer Simpson
“Well, I was wondering, how important is it to be popular?” – Bart Simpson
“I’m glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!” – Homer Simpson
“So, like, sometimes you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad so other kids will like you better?” – Bart Simpson
“You’re not talking about killing anyone, are you?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Bart Simpson
“Are you?!” – Homer Simpson
“No!” – Bart Simpson
“Then run along, you little scamp. A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.” – Homer Simpson

Happy (actual) 30th Anniversary to “The Telltale Head”! 

Quote of the Day

“Look what I snagged, Marge: the  candy bride and groom from the wedding cake. . . .”

“. . . Mmm, pointy.” – Homer Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“What’s going on?” – Lisa Simpson
“It’s an old fashioned hole diggin’! By gar, it’s been a while!” – Jasper

Quote of the Day

“Now, whose calculator can tell me what seven times eight is?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Ooh, ooh, ooooh! Low battery?” – Milhouse van Houten
“Whatever.” – Mrs. Krabappel

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Well, Simpson, did you learn something today?” – Chief Wiggum
“Ooh, did I ever! And that herbal anger rinse just washed the rage right out of me.” – Marge Simpson

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“Homer, are you alright?” – Marge Simpson
“I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough.” – Homer Simpson
“You’ve only been gone two days.” – Marge Simpson
“Really? Without teevee it’s hard to know when one day begins and the other ends.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I thought you said you’d tell me about my true love.” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, you’ll have a true love. But I specialize in foretelling the relationships where you get jerked around.” – Renaissance Faire Fortune Teller

Quote of the Day

“Now, this is living, eh, kids? Hot pizza! The food of kings!” – Homer Simpson
“Don’t be scared, Dad. It’s not so hard taking care of us.” – Lisa Simpson
“Lisa, I’m not scared. I think it’s a great chance to spend some time with you kids. Your mother always gets to be alone with you, and now it’s my turn . . . Does the time always drag like this?” – Homer Simpson

Happy 30th anniversary to “Life on the Fast Lane”! 

Quote of the Day

“What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burned down their city hall.” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“You gonna give me the money or not?” – Clancy Wiggum
“Well, I don’t think so. You don’t even have a trigger on that thing.” – Homer Simpson
“Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family. C’mon, gimme the dough! I can throw this pretty hard!” – Clancy Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Oh, boy, this is gonna get worse before it gets better.” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Oh, there’s so little left . . . creamed eels, corn nog, . . . wadded beef?” – Marge Simpson

Quote of the Day

“It’s a ghost car! There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know.” – Chief Wiggum
“Hold me.” – Homer Simpson
“Only if you old me.” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Okay, I’ll just even this out and . . . Mr. Lazwell, I’ve done it again.” – Squeaky Voiced Barber College Student

Quote of the Day

 

“Then I got this scar sneaking under the door of a pay toilet.” – Homer Simpson

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Lemme through! Lemme through! I’m her husband!” – Homer Simpson
“Well, that explains a lot.” – Eddie