Reading Digest: Space Painting Edition

“Oh my God! This is a disaster!” – NASA Administrator
“Gotta go!” – James Taylor 

Plenty of entertaining flotsam washed up on the shores of the internet this week. We’ve got weird YouTube, excellent usage, a voice actor map, and a Simpsons reference from the Stanley Cup finals.

Enjoy.

“Deep Space Homer” by Mark Englert – Dark Ink – It’s beautiful, it’s the most awe inspiring sight I have ever seen…

Sadly, they are already sold out. But the same site has some pretty cool images in a similar vein from Futurama and the like.

Simpsonwave is the chill new aesthetic that everyone’s enjoying without you | The Daily Dot – The kids put such fun things on YouTube these days.

The actors behind the voices – fivesquid – This is a hell of a chart that contains several Simpsons voices. I always forget how much cartoon work Luke Skywalker has done.

The Simpsons: Kelsey Grammer reveals inspiration for Sideshow Bob’s voice | EW.com – Short YouTube video of Grammer talking about the first time he did the Sideshow Bob voice.

Barber ordered to remove Homer Simpson statue from outside his shop because it’s too FAT – Boo.

This One Episode Of “The Simpsons” Can Tear Friendships Apart – This is from Buzzfeed, so you’ll be unsurprised to learn that the headline is an exaggeration. The question is, when Scorpio throws his shoes away and asks Homer if he’s ever seen that before, and Homer says, “Yes, once”, was Homer referring to a different incident or what Scorpio just did? David Silvermen then chimed in on Twitter to say that it was improved between Brooks and Castellaneta, so I guess the debate can continue forever.

Via Jean and the NHL director of Corporate Communications:

"MR. BURNS, EXCELLENT!" #Simpsons@IceSinghHNIC @RandipJanda @HarpPandher @BhupinderHundal pic.twitter.com/n7goRJDwBO

— Hockey Night Punjabi (@HkyNightPunjabi) June 10, 2016

Muhammad Ali…In 10 Words – I give you: Montgomery Burns: A Life.

And also via our old friend Galileo:

9 of the worst Australian accents you’ll ever have the displeasure of hearing – Tobias!

The best obscure Simpsons characters from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z · A.V. To Z · The A.V. Club – Via Noah B comes this alphabetic list that tragically reaches for Zombie Simpsons for the letter X when Xtapolapocetl was sitting right there in front of them.

The Simpsons Rare Vintage Wall Clock – $150 seems steep for this, but that is definitely vintage.

Bart Simpson 68 inch life size Stand-up and Comic – $60 seems like a reach here as well, but that is pretty big.

shopgoodwill.com – #30306850 – Homer Simpson Metal Statue Desk Mate – 6/7/2016 5:15:00 PM – $10 here seems about right, however. The inscription “Ever time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain” works well with “Nuclear Safety for Dummies”.

25 Years Later: Was ‘Herman’s Head’ Any Good? – Splitsider – I don’t have the least bit of an opinion on Herman’s Head, but this is a solid reference:

Before 1989 there were three big television networks and none of them were Fox. Then came The Simpsons and by gum, that put them on the map.

Reading Digest: Azaria Graduates Edition

“Now, come and get your catskins, uh, I mean sheepskins.” – Krusty the Klown

Short reading digest again this week, but we’ve got a couple of great links, including a guy who truly hates Zombie Simpsons, and an amusing YouTube video from Azaria.

Enjoy.

Hank Azaria gives graduates advice as characters from ‘The Simpsons’ during commencement speech – Azaria is a crowd pleaser, “When in doubt, always pull out the Simpsons voices”:

I don’t know if he wrote these or had one of the writers do it, but there are some pretty good ones in here. I particularly liked Apu: “Remember please, children, that in life there is nothing that is not so disgusting that it cannot be sold on a heated roller at a nearly criminal markup.”

How the weird internet is keeping The Simpsons exciting – This is an excellent summation of the ways fans have started making their own fun since Zombie Simpsons became boring. Also, this is all true:

The Simpsons has been on the air in some form or another for nearly 30 years, and it’s been terrible for twenty. The cartoon’s golden age is perfect television, my favorite TV show of all time, but in terms sheer output the bulk of The Simpsons is bad. When FXX aired a 12-day marathon of every Simpsons episode ever, a solid week of it was unwatchable. Harry Shearer was a hero for recognizing he was old, tired, and had enough money and that the only way to put the show out of its misery was for a core cast member to quit. Unfortunately, the shameless creators really believed they could recast Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, and others like it was no big deal, so Shearer relented. Not too long ago, apropos of nothing, I woke up angry The Simpsons was still on the air.

Good lad.

A look back at each act featured in The Simpsons’ ‘Homerpalooza’ – Heh:

Now: Peter is still writing, recording and touring regularly. The only thing that has really changed is going from having Frampton Comes Alive! go from every parent’s record collection to every grandparent’s record collection.

A Walk Through the Musical City of Knoxville – Knoxville will never escape The Simpsons:

Knoxville’s famed Sunsphere, a giant gold structure installed in 1982 to herald the World’s Fair, also sits near the edge of World’s Fair Park. In the decades since, the Sunsphere has become a symbol for the whole city. You can take an elevator to an observation deck on one of the Sunsphere’s lower levels, underneath a restaurant and private businesses that occupy the space—and no, none of these businesses is a wig outlet, as The Simpsons might have you believe.

Shock as Northern Ireland man solves mystery of the world’s most coveted stamp … but who is he? – Pfft, the airplane’s upside down:

Inverted Jennies are so called because they depict a US Mail biplane, erroneously printed upside down, on a 24 cent stamp.

One hundred made it into circulation in 1918 after inspectors failed to spot the mistake in a Washington DC printing works.

They have become almost mythical among stamp collectors ever since. And this particular one – No.76 – is now under tight security, having resurfaced after an astonishing 61 years at Spink auctioneers in Manhattan.

The hitherto missing stamp, which even featured in an episode of The Simpsons, was one of a block of four owned by the daughter of an executive at Dow Jones & Company, which disappeared from an exhibition in Norfolk, Virginia, in 1955.

Bart Simpson acquitted at mock trial – I am both heartened and terrified for the youths of today:

In a mock trial held May 12 at Hartley Elementary School, Bart Simpson was accused of stealing Millhouse’s Butterfinger candy bars. After much deliberation, however, a jury of fourth- and fifth-grade students found he was “not guilty.”

The educational program coincided with Justice teacher Megan Wall’s curriculum.

“The kids asked us to show them how it (the justice system) works,” Wall said. “So it’s fun and educational.”

But did anyone wear glasses with eyeballs painted on them?

The Simpsons Season Finale Review: Orange Is the New Yellow – It continues to baffle me why sites like Den of Geek even bother to review Zombie Simpsons. Look at this:

“Orange Is the New Yellow” was an okay episode. They caught a lot of the flavor of Orange is the New Black, but they didn’t skewer it. The season closer is supposed to be spectacular. I looked forward to this episode all season, which was more than a bit below par. The Simpsons may not always close with a season’s best but they are usually among the funniest. This episode doesn’t offer a single guffaw. A few chuckles and more than one smirk but nothing that really cracks me up. The plumbob song was pretty exciting, but not a highlight.

Then they give it 3/5 stars, which I guess is a 6 on the 6-9 scale, but why even bother? What would two stars look like? Would a blank screen get 1.5?

Reading Digest: Cake and Stupidity Edition

“See? You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a first class wedding reception.” – Homer Simpson

Zombie Simpsons had a gimmick last Sunday, which was Castellaneta taking live calls while very little happened on screen. It was novel but pointless, so as far as the desperation of their publicity stunts go, this ranks somewhere in the middle. Marketing and pageview desperation being what they are, plenty of people on the internet wrote it up. There’s a couple links below, though none of it is really all that interesting. The tl;dr version is that they used thinking machine super computers. In more savory and less advertised news, we also have two links to Simpsons cakes.

Enjoy.

Celebrating 25 Years Of The Simpsons With Cake – This is fantastic, custom baked cakes with Simpsons characters based off of other art and images. Fair use has never been this delicious.

Cooking The Simpsons: Whale of a Wife Cake – More cake! (And this one includes step-by-step instructions.)

15 Simpsons Coffee Gifs You Need In Your Life – Sprudge – These are great (thanks again, Frinkiac!), and there’s nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons.

The Simpsons live – how you can do it yourself – This is kinda neat in and of itself, but there’s no getting around the fact that it looked awful. I remember when Forrest Gump came out, there were stories on the news about all the fancy computer machines they used to make the various Presidents mouth movements from old footage. Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, all of them looked like crap then and still do now. So does this.

Woo Hoo! The Simpsons TV Show and Adobe Make Live Animation Television History – For the curious, here’s Adobe’s official explanation of it.

How ‘The Simpsons’ Will Pull Off a ‘Live’ Episode – Speakeasy – WSJ – Jean doing publicity. He’s a trooper.

The Simpsons: “Simprovised” Review – IGN – Reader Noah B sent in this link and reminded me of the old “Syngery” segment I used to do here. For those who haven’t been reading this blog since 2010, IGN (which was owned by FOX at the time) used to write these fawning reviews of Zombie Simpsons, and I used to fisk them. This isn’t nearly as bad, but is still desperately scratching for nice things to say:

The seminar itself was fairly entertaining. Having had his one and only ice-breaker stolen by Mr. Burns, Homer had a complete and total meltdown on stage. It was there we learned that Mr. Burns keeps a group of therapy hounds on call for just such a situation. Sadly, like so many episodes in recent years, the writers never managed to follow through on their initial premise.

Office workers start a Post-it war, and stick with it – Marge and Maggie made with post-it notes in a window. It’s great, they even got he pearls right.

‘The Simpsons’ Recap: 9 Truths (and 5 Lies) in Live Comedy – Here’s a fawning recap of their latest dumb publicity stunt.

America’s trendiest new bar is your living room – There are fewer bars and more liquor stores than there used to be. Since I am pro bar and pro liquor store, I don’t know how to feel about this, but here’s a nice quote from a scientist:

The local bar is a classic “third place” in American life — after work and home, it’s a place where people can go to relax, catch up on local news and above all, connect with friends and neighbors. Think of Moe’s from “The Simpsons” or Cheers from, uh, “Cheers.” Third places “are the heart of a community’s social vitality, the grassroots of democracy, but sadly, they constitute a diminishing aspect of the American social landscape,” sociologist Ray Oldenburg has written.

The Eerie Unsolved Mystery of THE SIMPSONS’ Infamous “Dead Bart” Episode – This is clickbait to the point that I almost don’t want to link it. Do people actually think this is a thing? The YouTube video they link is obviously footage from other episodes layered under a bunch of dumb video effects. Anyway, it’s not true.

5YJevvW.jpg (JPEG Image, 750 × 897 pixels) – Scaled (82%) – The kids are alright.

Vtg 90’s Bart Simpson Cropped Stonewash Denim Jacket-JKL1042 – Swanky.

Student turns Raspberry Pi into epic Simpsons episode shuffler – This is a wonderful use of technology.

Here’s how old The Simpsons family would be if they aged in real time – If we were only so lucky.

The One TV Show To Watch With Your Mother Isn’t One You’d Expect | Bustle – Via our old friends Denise and Karma, comes this belated Mother’s Day link.

Homer Simpson celebrates his 60th birthday today – Homer’s driver’s license in “Duffless” puts his birthday on May 12th, 1956. I’ve said this before and I’ll probably say it again, but part of what makes Homer (and Marge) great is that they are perfect caricatures of late model Baby Boomers.

Man Getting Hit By Football (Film) – TV Tropes – There is important stuff on the internet.  (Thanks, Noah B!)

Mike Reiss, CoCreator Of The Simpsons, Gives Us 10 Quotes So Funny Youll Be Rolling On The Floor – They’re not that funny, but they’re kinda funny:

“Donald Duck is a character right out of gay porn. He wears a sailor’s suit and no pants!”

The Simpsons Autographed Movie Poster – This is a Craigslist post:

This is a 27 x 40 “Simpsons” Movie Poster Hand Signed by Yeardley Smith, Dan Castellaneta, Nancy Cartwright, and Julie Kavner Albert Brooks, Minnie Driver, Kelsey Grammer, Pamela Hayden, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Joe Mantegna, Maggie Roswell, Russi Taylor, Matt Groening

All signatures are hand signed and Guaranteed to be Authentic.

Minnie Driver?

‘Family Guy’ was renewed and hardly anyone noticed – Family Guy got renewed. The dusty remnants of FOX’s animation Sunday will remain on the air for another year at least.

Admirable Animation #47: Homer Badman [The Simpsons] – YouTube – Reader Toadat sends in this YouTube video that accurately points out that “Homer Badman” and its vicious portrayal of scandal media has aged very, very well.

How the Simpsons are helping Derby Uni students learn about handwriting – This is nice and all, but I thought handwriting analysis was dismissed as quackery a hundred and sixty years ago.

The Simpsons isn’t really very funny anymore: everything we learned from Homer’s live chat – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us, even about Zombie Simpsons’ most recent stunt:

1) Live is a magic word

2) Homer didn’t exactly bomb, but he ’s better with a script.

3) The Simpsons isn’t really very funny anymore

Yup.

Reading Digest: Hardcore Fans Edition

“I’ll field this one. Let me ask you a question: Why would a man whose shirt says ‘Genius at Work’ spend all of his time watching a children’s cartoon show?”
“I withdraw my question.” – Fat Nerd 

Mark Kirkland had the above experience more or less exactly on Reddit this week. It’s funny, but probably not for the reasons the Redditors think. In other news, we have a grotesque Bart mask, cheese eating, transparent Zombie Simpsons agitprop, and more.

Enjoy.

How Homer Simpson, 64 slices of American cheese and a stomach of steel led to #Cheesefest – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this epic account of a contest to see if anyone really could eat sixty-four slices of American cheese. Bravo, gentlemen.

Hi Reddit! It’s Simpsons Director and filmmaker Mark Kirkland – here for my first AMA. – Via @StoryOfAhQ on Twitter, Kirkland is not as up on his Simpsons references as the Reddit horde. Things start bad with the “Genius At Work” quote and get worse:

Reddit being Reddit, some of them even get pissed when he tells them something interesting. Heh.

The Simpsons: The GIF That Keeps GIFfing – Apparently Giphy is creating a back catalog of Simpsons .gifs. Will this make me the John Henry of Simpsons .gifs, driven out by superior machines?

5 Important Life Lessons ‘The Simpsons’ Taught Us – This is a great list, including “Sometimes life rewards people who do not deserve it” and “You can try your hardest at something and still fail”. Needless to say, it includes no Zombie Simpsons.

How the Simpsons Won Our Hearts, Made Billions and Stayed on the Air for 27 Years – Zombie Simpsons has a new publicity stunt this week, some part of the episode is going to be “live” or some such nonsense, which is why articles like this get written. But even Ad Week, a publication that is literally dedicated to selling out and hawking shit no matter how dumb or worthless, has to include this:

It begs the question: Is there such a thing as too much Simpsons? Most fans will say no—though there are some who grouse that the show’s best days blew past in the mid-1990s. “For the love of god, they’ve told every conceivable story these people could have gone through. It’s all been beaten to death,” said TV expert Ray Richmond, co-author with Groening of The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family. And yet, he added, “The Simpsons is still better than 90 percent of the shows on TV—27 years on.”

Everyone knows Zombie Simpsons sucks. We just have to pretend otherwise when promoting it.

Bingeing is bad and Apu wasn’t meant to be Indian: ‘The Simpsons’ co-creator Mike Reiss – Hadn’t hear this before:

Apu, who is voiced by Hank Azaria, became an Indian quite by accident, Reiss revealed.

“The first time he (Apu) appeared in the script, he was just called ‘clerk’,” Resis said. “I actually wrote in the script in capital letters ‘He is not an Indian’ and when we got to the reading, when the cast got together, the actor read the line with an Indian accent and everyone laughed. And that’s how Apu became an Indian.”

The Secret To Preparing Fugu, The Fish That Nearly Killed Homer Simpson – YouTube video of an actual Fugu chef. I don’t even like fish and I gotta admit, that looks delicious.

Hell no, we won’t go! [pinback button featuring Bart Simpson] – This is for sale from antiquarians, damn it!

Please enjoy this grim visage from Twitter:

Cool, a big ugly head.

shopgoodwill.com – #29512922 – The Simpsons- 12 Wonderful Seasons – The people selling stuff on Goodwill are not dumb. If you want those Simpsons DVDs to move (and they are already sold), don’t include Zombie Simpsons.

Reading Digest: Link Patrol Blows It

“Food patrol, we’re all starved! Let’s see what you’ve got. That’s it? What happened to all the lobsters, mangoes, and chewy chewy cocoa beans?” – Bart Simpson

It’s a seriously short Reading Digest this week, which means either not much is going on or my link finding skills have atrophied. We do have some more of those FXX promo things and a pretty good review of “Raging Abe Simpson”, so it’s not like there’s nothing. Also, Dave yelled at me for not linking more TV stuff here, so if any of you want to see me praise something with the same fervor I trash Zombie Simpsons, I am a hopeless fan of Peaky Blinders.

First up, this is the second time someone has sent me this on Twitter, so I should probably put it here as well:

But does it have any Vitamin R? On to the links:

How Do You Redesign The Simpsons? – More of those excellently weird FXX bumpers.

Pop-Culture Influences Explode in the Gonzo Bartkira: Nuclear Edition Review – You can buy it now:

The book’s reinterpretations of the original manga toe the line between playful self-reference and an anarchic sense of gallows humor. Marigold Bartlett exemplifies this contrast, featuring a mass exodus of citizens fleeing the ruins of Neo-Springfield, frenzied by the psychic backlash of Ralph Wiggum’s (in the role of Akira) grief. The survivors clamor for salvation and refuge outside the doors of Lisa Simpson’s Buddhist temple compound, an inspired mash-up of Lady Kiyoko’s monastery from the original manga and Reverend Lovejoy’s First Church of Springfield. Lisa’s fatalistic catch phrase of “Embrace Nothingness” (from the 1991 Simpsons arcade game) stretches across the church’s announcement board, bolstering the scene’s existential gravitas to such madness and dread that it rivals the grim severity of Otomo’s original.

Kate Leth Illustrates Tattoo Designs Based On ‘Monster Factory’ – No, my son is also named Borth:

Perhaps the most popular episode in terms of memes and references is their episode dedicated to the MMORPG Black Desert Online, where they do everything they can to create Bart Simpson. As you can see in Kate’s design below, you almost cannot tell the difference between Bart Simpson and Borth Sampson, and we hope Kate doesn’t get sued by any FOX lawyers who can’t see the subtle differences.

Meet the penguin chicks named after characters in The Simpsons – Baby penguins. (via our old friends Denise and Karma)

60 Second Simpsons Review – Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson… – Reader “Toadat D’oh-Town” sends in this YouTube review:

The Simpsons’ most heartbreaking moments – on the 25th anniversary of ‘Lisa’s Substitute’ – This is a good list with plenty of YouTube, and you’ll be unsurprised to note that nothing comes from Zombie Simpsons.

Reading Digest: Prince Non-Prince Edition

“And tonight, the following celebrities have been arrested.” – Kent Brockman

If you’re binging on Prince-internet right now, there is one link for you below and that’s it. Other than that we’ve got sexy Simpsons quotes, a neat animation that I think was for FXX, and the central hub of Simpsons merchandise in China.

Enjoy.

Remembering The Prince-Themed ‘Simpsons’ Episode That Never Was ♫ theMusic.com.au – It probably would’ve been hilarious. Then again, the odds against “Stark Raving Dad” actually working once were pretty astronomical, to get that a second time…

The Simpsons ‘Stretch’ by Laundry – I don’t get FXX, so I’m not 100% sure if this is something they use or if someone just made this weird, blurry Milhouse thing. But it’s neat.

Sex With The Simpsons – Pretty as a Peanut – Reader Sarah M. sends in this theoretical conversation made entirely of Simpson quotes. There’s some Zombie Simpsons, but mostly just sexy results.

Claire Danes puts private equity on center stage – Hank Azaria is in a new play:

“Dry Powder” is a comedy-drama that focuses on a private equity firm struggling with a public relations nightmare. The same week the firm forced massive layoffs at a national grocery chain, the company’s head Rick (Azaria) threw himself an extravagant engagement party, complete with an elephant.

Big John’s Breakfast Log | Eats Like A Duck – I would eat the hell out of this:

This was actually a lot of fun to make. Molding the sausage patties was like creating a gooey, fatty, delicious masterpiece of log proportions.

A Winnipegger is using Simpsons images to poke fun at the provincial election – Forward to Winnipeg!

How The Simpsons mastered the art of neutral political satire – Our old friend Johnny Sugar notes that the political satire is among the many things the show used to be better at.

The Simpsons’ Disney Homage Couch Gag From Eric Goldberg Is Too Good – The only creative thing about Zombie Simpsons remains the part they farm out to other people.

Rewatching The First ‘Simpsons’ Short ‘Good Night’ – Of course it’s weird. It was the olden days.

‘Simpsons’ Director Teams With Social Media Stars for Animated Stoner Comedy ‘Superslackers’ – David Silverman is a good choice for this:

“Superslackers” follows a group of friends who get a bag of pot that has been switched with a drug being used in a government experiment that gives them superpowers. When a Professor Xavier-type shows up to train them, they have no interest in saving the world. They agree to move into a rent-free government compound, but all they want to do is watch TV and play video games.

China’s First Simpsons Merchandise Store Now Open in Beijing’s Taikoo Li – I wonder if FOX is getting a cut? I don’t care. But I do wonder.

Reading Digest: French Middle School Kids Edition

“Bonjour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys.” – Groundskeeper Willie

I may still try to get these up on Thursdays, but that didn’t even come close to happening yesterday. On the plus side, we’ve got a ton of crappy (and creepy) old merchandise, a look behind the scenes at Universal Studios, French children, and an erudite if weak sauce look at one of the many reasons Zombie Simpsons sucks.

Enjoy.

Petition · EA Games: Develop a sequel to “The Simpsons Hit & Run” – Got this in an email from reader Hassaan M., who shares a love of Hit & Run with many of you. I don’t know if EA would ever care, but if you want to sign, click the link.

How the Best Rides at Universal Studios Work – I have never been to a Universal Studios, but this is pretty neat.

The Simpsons is confronting its biggest stereotypes in its 27th season – This is far too gentle on Zombie Simpsons, but does manage to make the point that the show is hobbled by its age in ways it can never escape. I would also quibble with the whole “of their time” thing, since when the show was good it was way ahead of its time. Now it is hopelessly and permanently behind.

Some ‘Simpsons’ Fans Are Petitioning to Make Lisa a Vegan – Meh.

Yianni: The Simpsons Taught Me Everything I Know : Reviews 2016 – This is true:

It’s the comedy festival equivalent those clickbait posts which promise: ‘The Simpsons predicted the Panama papers,’ when it really means: ‘The Simpsons made a joke about tax havens.’ So you got hoodwinked, but you still got to watch a clip of Bart when you should have been working, so how bad could that be?

The Simpsons Pinball Party HUO Machine – For six grand you can buy this Simpsons pinball machine in Phoenix. I’m linking it because there are some great closeup pictures.

The Angry Birds Movie trailer reveals more high-flying action – Apparently Vitti wrote the Angry Birds movie.

Say your prayers, Simpsons: ‘Mr. Burns’ depicts a blazing future – The play comes to Milwaukee.

A journey to an unsettling future in Lyric Stage’s ‘Mr. Burns’ – And Boston.

“The Simpsons” Rapping Homer Simpson 2002 moving statue – For some reason, my Simpsons related Google Alerts have started including a lot of Craigslist ads for old merchandise. This one is particularly crappy and I’m sure cost forty bucks when it was new.

Rare Homer Simpson electric snowglobe. – See above.

Custom Bart Simpson as Marty McFly – A clever repurposing. The giant 80s camcorder is a nice touch.

Vintage Bart Simpson Phone – Why did you give it red eyes? WHY?

Invoking Homer Simpson to explain Donald Trump – Excellent educational usage to get French middle school students to understand the terminal velocity claptrap that is American politics:

Our explanation about American voter anger propelling Trump to the nomination did not fully satisfy our young audience.  From their perspective, it made no sense to believe Donald Trump would make America better, no matter how angry you are.

I would have been completely stumped for an explanation here except that earlier I had caught whispers between the students that mentioned “The Simpsons” (they were amused that I actually was from Springfield). The show is immensely popular in France and every student in our group was a fan.

If you want to know why voters are going for Trump, I said, keep Homer Simpson in mind. There’s a lot more truth in Homer Simpson than most Americans would care to admit, and Trump taps into a lot of that truth. The very things you might find distasteful about Trump — all rooted in his unapologetic bombast — are the things that appeal most to his voters.

I don’t know if they understood. I’m not sure how well the nuances of Homer Simpson survive French translation.

I’m betting they skipped one of Groundskeeper Willie’s most famous quotes.

Update 9:16pm: Excellent late addition from D.N. – Open thread: what do you think of Australia’s new $5 banknote? – Five dollary-dos? Tobias! 

Reading Digest: [Yawn] What Time Is It?

“Just resting my eyes!” – Homer Simpson
“Ah, well done, a rested employee is a vigilant employee.” – C.M. Burns
“Monitoring station unmanned.” – Nuclear Inspector 

And we are back. I missed you all during my uneventful absence. I’m tentatively planning to do doing Reading Digest on Thursdays now, but we’ll see. Links, ahoy:

Kamp Krusty – A great new fan site with a ton of Simpsons images and memes you can download. The creator was nice enough to email this in last month, and I’m just getting to it now. (If you’ve sent an e-mail to the deadhomersociety gmail account in the last six months or so, please be patient. I’ve got it cleaned out, but I haven’t started begging forgiveness for the lateness of my replies yet.)

The Simpsons Decade: An Introduction – If you’re going to propose a unified theory of 90s comedy, you really have only one option for the overarching framework.

 

Fan-Made Simpsons Couch Gag Is Filled With Classic References – It’s not so much a couch gag as it is a short cartoon, but it’s cute and has a nice, Simpsons-y score.

How Murray Saved Christmas with Mike Reiss and Parker Denton by Jingle Friends – Mike Reiss discussing his book/movie on a podcast that describes itself as “Non-believers gettin’ into the Christmas spirit!”. It’s a neat discussion about his career and writing in general. He talks about working with Jean around the 10 minute mark. At the 17 minute mark or so he starts talking about the movie script. They went through 160 odd drafts; he thought the best one was the fifth. Sigh.

WATCH: Director David Silverman Talks All Things ‘The Simpsons’ at FMX 2015 – A couple of YouTube videos of Silverman discussing the early days of the show. At the 8 minute mark of the first video he describes how crazy things were right when the show came out. He was wearing a Simpsons jacket at a mall right when the Christmas special first came out and got mobbed.

‘The Simpsons’ Fans Trolling News Sites, And It’s Hilarious – I doubt very much that this is in any way organized, but it is pretty funny.

The Inanimate Carbon Pod Episode 6(The Simpsons Season 4 Continued) – Stumbled on this a few days ago. I feel their pain when it comes to “shitty Simpsons”.

Simpsons superfan covers her bod in £12,000 worth of tattoos inspired by the cartoon – That is impressive.

The Simpsons Predicted the Panama Papers and Offshore Tax Evasion – Well, sort of, but Esquire does agree with us:

Of course, this is by no means a coincidence. Everything that has happened in The Simpsons‘ 27 seasons (10 of which are good) will eventually come to fruition in real life.

I’m looking forward to the dolphins taking over and throwing all copies of Zombie Simpsons into the sea.

(In other news, if any of you have read my geeky movie rant and felt like tossing a review up on Amazon, I would be grateful.)

Reading Digest: In Denial About Season 27 Edition

“Homer, I want you to look at this drawing Bart did.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, it’s beautiful!  Oh, let’s put Bart’s beautiful drawing up on the fridge-” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, stop!  Would you please look at the drawing?” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, alright . . . Ahh!  Burn it!  Send it to hell!” – Homer Simpson
“I think we’re going to have to get Bart some help.” – Marge Simpson
“Get it away.” – Homer Simpson

Very short Reading Digest this week as pretty much everything tagged “Simpsons” on the internet was linked to FOX’s big marketing push for the new season, which is now a terrifyingly close nine days away.  I did pluck one link from the publicity spew, but it’s just Jean saying things you’ve seen him say before.  Other than that we do have some excellent fan art, Korean rock stars getting in on the fashionable clothing thing, world record tattoos, and a well thought out top 25 list.

Enjoy.

Simpsons season 27: Al Jean talks Homer and Marge’s separation, and more: Interview – Jean doing a publicity interview for the new season.  No real news here, he’s just pimping this year’s version of zany stuff with lots of celebrity guest voices.

Man with over 200 tattoos of The Simpsons characters confirmed as record holder – Well done, sir (though how you get a total number out of that impressive scene is beyond me).

Homer LED Shirt – A shirt that lights up in the shape of that Homer x-ray picture with his tiny brain.  (via @RoyceMCutcheon)

Why Labor leader Bill Shorten is posing with a mysterious green rod – The inanimate carbon rod takes Australia by storm. (via @DailySimpsons)

Perfectly timed image captures hilarious moment between Marge and Homer Simpson – Cute.  (via @AlJean)

Happy birthday to The Prophet of Love, Larry, I mean, Barry White – Great YouTube here, including Simpsons clips.

A Fonz Gift Set: Embroidery & Painting – Great inscription usage on the bottom of the painting.

Creating My List of Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – This is why I don’t do lists.  It’s too stressful:

I will certainly be on there again tomorrow as even now I am feeling guilty about episodes currently not on the list and doubting whether I have got this right. There could definitely be some last minute changes.

My Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – And the results.  “Lemon of Troy” is an unusual but very worthy #1, and “Lisa’s First Word” at #2 is pretty good as well.

WIP Wednesday: Simpsons Couch #3 – Outline completed, and the beginnings of color.

S02 E21 – Three Men and a Comic Book – Glick is dead-on:

He goes and starts working for her, doing all sorts of terrible manual labor while Mrs. Glick watches soap operas, and just generally acts like every super old lady I’ve ever met in my life. Mrs. Glick was hilarious. To the old candy and the creepy décor, everything about her was perfect. I also laughed my ass off when she was watching the soap opera and said “Filthy…but genuinely arousing.”

S02 E22 – Blood Feud – It is nice to just hang out with the old ones:

Season finale! Already through 2 seasons, and man do I have to say that I’m loving this show again. I’d really forgotten how great it was, and just focused on how bad it got. And now I’m remembering why I was obsessed with this show growing up. It’s so hilarious, and manages to mix in just the perfect amount of humor that really makes for a perfect series. Although I have to admit, as much as I’m loving these classic episodes, I’m starting to dread when I get to the seasons that made me quit. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly where I fell off, and I’m not quite positive, but man this blog may change when I get there. Instead of a lovefest for an amazing show, it may become the bitter ramblings of a crazy person, before I fall into self-imposed Stockholm Syndrome.

S03 E01 – Stark Raving Dad – Remember when they knew how to use big name celebrities well?

S03 E02 – Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington – There’s nothing Homer wouldn’t do for that magazine.

Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington – Dueling reviews of twenty-four year old episodes!

STAYREAL ~ Simpsons ft. Jung Yonghwa – High fashion Simpsons clothing now comes with Korean boy bands.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons alone bart… – He’s becoming isolated and weird.

Reading Digest: Arty Milhouse Edition

“Ever since I became a movie star I’ve been miserable.  I had to get up at 5am just for makeup.  I like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones, but it’s not worth it.” – Milhouse van Houten

There’s a simple and very creative Lego Milhouse picture this week that headlines a collection of cool fan art in the mediums of Lego, ink, cross-stitch and more.  We’ve also got a bunch of lists, more Season 2, Burns memories, a couple of pieces of great usage, and more.

Enjoy.

May-August developments in new works… – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the week is this collection of freaky Simpsons collages.  Stop the Planet of the Apes on top of young Master Burns’ eyes is particularly good.

The Character Files: Mr. Burns – This list of recommended episodes is, of course, very long.  And:

Well, to his friends he’s known as Monty. But to you it’s Mr. Burns.

I can’t read that without singing it.

Movie Music: Danny Elfman – I forgot he did Men In Black.

My 6 Favorite Simpsons One-Off Characters – Oh, you gave him a quarter!

Professional Lego builder’s life-sized Homer heading to Edmonton Expo – A giant Homer made of Lego and dressed as Spock?  Well done, sir.

Mirror – And speaking of Legos, Milhouse sees himself as Fallout Boy.

Piggie-gang – The Lego boys with pig bodies.  There really should be more easily decapitate-able toys.

The Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – Reader Eric P. sent in yet more proof that nobody cares about Zombie Simpsons.

The Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – And here’s someone else observing:

My absolute favourite show is The Simpsons. Older episodes of the Simpsons that is. There are barely any good new episodes.

I’d go with none, but that’s just me.  (Looking forward to your list, though!)

Eye On Springfield With Diego Fernandez of Eye Of Horus – Remember when the Devil told Bart to listen to heavy metal music?  Looks like it works:

Like most people, I started watching over the shoulder of my parents, then when I was old enough, I would watch them on my own. I remember the first time I saw the show because it was also the first time I heard ‘ass’ being said on TV. Obviously hearing that at such a young age is what set me off into being a death metal musician!

Stark Raving Dad – Other things that enjoyably warped my childhood brain:

-“Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts! I’m not popular enough to be different.” And then, of course, Mr. Burns commenting on the pink garb: “Well, judging by his outlandish attire, he’s some sort of free-thinking anarchist!”

Friday Conversation: The Geekiest Pop Culture Merchandise You’ve Owned – One of us:

Stacey Ritzen
Like many people who grew up with The Simpsons, I used to be an enormous fan, until the gradual decline in quality a decade or so ago began to disenchant and eventually disinterest me in the series. But when Playmates Toys released their World of Springfield action figure line in 1999, I was still very much obsessed with The Simpsons, and obsessively collected the toys. I’d even cut out the UPC codes to get the limited edition ones you had to mail away for, and buy ones I couldn’t find on eBay.

S02 E16 – Bart’s Dog Gets an F – Always liked this:

While she’s home, Marge shows Lisa the Bouvier family quilt, and informs her that she’s going to learn how to stitch so she can contribute a square herself. Marge is a sewing master, which is she demonstrates by lighting flame under her calloused skin.

It’s a very Simpsons combination of sweetness and horror.

S02 E17 – Old Money – Indeed:

They end up going to the Plato’s Republic Casino and Hotel (that joke is amazing)

Probably took me ten years to get that one.

S02 E18 – Brush with Greatness – Season 2 really was when the writing became itself:

I absolutely love the interaction Burns and Smithers have when Burns realizes his good fortune of having an artist dropped into his lap: “Somebody up there likes me Smithers.” “Somebody down here likes you too sir.” “Shut up!” Oh Mr. Burns, you’re the worst.

S02 E19 – Lisa’s Substitute – This is true:

Another classic Lisa episode. Man, I really forgot how consistently great Lisa episodes were.

From time to time I’ll find someone complaining about how Lisa episodes are boring, and my only response is that you’re right, but only because you’re watching Zombie Simpsons and all the episodes are boring.  Lisa episode in the actual Simpsons are fantastic.

S02 E20 – the War of the Simpsons – Here’s your crown, your majesty!

thank you comedy – Lisa to the rescue again:

I realized I wasn’t a freak or alone in my skepticism of Christianity when I saw an episode of the Simpsons called “Lisa the Skeptic” in which she digs up a skeleton that looks like an angel that sets the town into a religious fervor and Lisa questions the existence of god. Hearing Lisa question it made me feel more confident to question it myself and that episode has stuck with me for years.

Simpson’s Treehouse of Horrors Retrospective (Pt.1) – Podcast the first.

Simpson’s Treehouse of Horrors Retrospective (pt. 2) – Podcast the second.

Katie Hopkins – I do not know who Katie Hopkins is, but Paul Anka is a wise man.

H is for Homer Simpson – Great fan made Homer drawing.

WIP Wednesday: Simpsons Couch #2 – The couch cross stitch I linked before is coming along nicely.  It’s even got the bag of chips on the floor.

Str8 up Menace – Having Bart’s skull and crossbones logo on a slingshot tattoo is a very nice touch.

Combating “The Homer Simpson Effect” – Excellent usage:

There really is a “Homer Simpson” effect in neuroscience. The phenomenon was given this name in honor of the Fox network character, Homer Simpson. Homer once told Marge, “Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.”

Bloomberg’s terminals face threat from start-ups like Goldman Sachs’s Symphony – Excellent reference:

Mr Khan at ING Bank said that even if Money.Net did not catch on, for his generation, the prestige of the expensive terminal was losing its allure.

“They are like Grandpa Simpson. They used to be with it, but then it changed,” Mr Khan said of both Bloomberg and Thomson Reuters.

How to handle online sexism: Laugh at the trolls and fight back – Excellent strategy:

Ford said she had tried to develop a thick skin, with a dash of humour. “What I’ve found has worked has absolutely not been stoicism or silence or just getting on with things, but has been a combination of exposure and also laughing at them,” she explained. “It comes back to that Margaret Atwood quote: ‘Men are afraid women will laugh at them, and women are afraid men will kill them’.”
When she gets abusive emails, she sometimes responds with a picture of Poochie from The Simpsons. “I love the idea of them getting indignant about the fact I didn’t read their email properly,” she laughed.

“Paid In Full” – Lenny and Carl, the album cover.

“Insane Sideshow Posse” – Chalk Bob, but no mention of his thoughts on magnets and how the fuck they work.

Tooned Series (2015 New Model): THE SIMPSONS FAMILY CAR – You can now get a diecast model of the family sedan in addition to The Homer.

Mr. Burns: A comedy of the darkest variety – The play goes to Virginia.

‘The Simpsons’ gets an imaginative treatment in a dystopian drama – And St. Louis.

Concert Review: Ned Flanders Metal Band Okilly Dokilly – Sudden fame has advantages and disadvantages, but the crowd liked ’em, and that’s what counts.

Erroll’s Top 10 Favorite Games (In No Particular Order) – The arcade game makes the list.

My Five Favorite TV show Credit Sequences – The Simpsons entry has a Halloween flavor.

Hank Azaria Cast in HBO’s Bernie Madoff Movie – Azaria gets to play Robert DeNiro’s right hand man, which I suppose is better for him than when they were in Heat together.

Dissolving into the Ether – The Homer into the bushes .gif, but with video static.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons leonard nimoy… – His work is done here.

New trending GIF tagged swag the simpsons chill… – She can’t hear you, son, she’s wearing a Jacuzzi suit.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons bart… – Staring down his nemesis, Lester.

Reading Digest: So Short It Barely Exists Edition

“Well, it was a good ride while it lasted.  Come on, kids, let’s go home.” – Homer Simpson
“We are home.” – Bart Simpson
“That was fast.” – Homer Simpson

It’s a holiday weekend and I’m very pressed for time as I am going away from the internet for a few days, so this is a very short Reading Digest, but we do have an alternate reality Simpsons, some fan art, plenty of Season 2 recaps, some great usage, and moar Lego stuff.

Enjoy.

NOTE: I am aware via e-mail and such that the comments section has gone to hell lately.  I will fix it when I get back.  I’ve only ever had to ban one person on this blog, if you are the person(s) who are making this less fun for everyone else, stop being a jerkass and I won’t have to up that number.

An amended Simpsons timeline – Our old friend Stefan Grasso has constructed an elaborate alternate timeline where the Simpson kids actually grow up:

Lisa, meanwhile, develops a romantic relationship with an intelligent boy named Langdon Alger, and continues pursuing her dreams of being a great jazz musician, and graduates from high school in the year 2000.

Lots more at the link.

The Middle of the Road – Anaesthetics for the Heart Kids – Even sophisticated doctors use the Simpsons:

“It was like that when I got here”

You might remember a bunch of life lessons from The Simpsons. Babies can be relied upon to deliver justice to old tycoons. The coroner is tiresome after a while. Don’t eat the insanity peppers.

Well that eight word phrase comes from Homer to Bart, purpose built for shifting the blame. But it turns out to be a pretty good phrase to remember for the “standard” heart kid needing your help.

I will take your word for the rest.

LEGO Dimensions Unleashes New Screenshots Of The Simpsons And Midway Arcade Gameplay – Mmm, franchises.

Welcome: The Simpsons Files!!! – Simpsons blog gets renovated, promises to get back to the important things in life: watching old TV and blogging about it.

Tales from an Empty Bar – Excellent usage:

“She’s outside. She has to cover the patio, the lounge and the bar on Saturday afternoons.”

“But I’m thirsty now.”

“So you do remember the episode.”

“What?”

“The Simpson’s episode, you do remember it.”

“No, I don’t watch the Simpson’s”

“That’s weird, ‘cuz In the episode, the gun store owner told Homer that he had to wait five days to buy a gun. Homer replied ‘But I’m mad now’ and then they did this little sequence with Tom Petty playing in the background.”

Can you count… SUCKAS?! – Scroll about halfway down for a heavily marked up Simpsons poster in a Beijing bar.

S02 E11 – One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish – Haven’t had time to read these, but I do adore Season 2.

S02 E12 – The Way We Was – I’ve always wanted to moon for rebuttal.

S02 E13 – Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment – Something about covet?

S02 E14 – Principal Charming – Possible Homersexual.

S02 E15 – Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? – Your holiness.

The EGOTist On: My First Stage Win – This is fantastic:

I was 3 years old and the Simpsons were doing a big promotional event at a bookstore just outside the city. My grandmother packed my older cousin and I into the car and drove us out there.

The place was swarmed. I remember super tall people everywhere (because who isn’t tall to a 3 year-old). The man onstage announced a contest. It echoed out over the loudspeakers. Whoever gave the best Maggie impersonation would win a prize.

[…]

Each person gave their best pacifier-sucking impersonation. And then they finally got to me.

“What’s your name?”

“Brittany,” I said directly into the microphone.

“How old are you?”

“Three.”

I grabbed hold of the mic and gave it my best shot.

The crowd went wild!

The emcee went down the line again, holding a hand over each of our heads to measure the audience’s reaction. When he got back to me, they went bonkers. The winner was obvious.

I don’t know if I won because I was an adorable and precocious toddler or if it’s because I was actually the best. I like to think it was the latter but it doesn’t really matter because I was the one who left that stage with the adult large Simpson’s t-shirt that fit me like a ballgown.

Excellent.

TV Review: Classic Simpsons— “Lisa The Skeptic” – This one was always disappointing because it should’ve been great, it had all the pieces, but ended up less than the sum of its parts:

And double-especially, when, in rewatching this episode, I realized that I liked it less than I remembered.

Smartline – Aww.

Master of Horror – This is a feeling shared by many:

It took Groundskeeper Willie to make me truly appreciate Wes Craven. The Simpsons‘ 1995 Treehouse of Horror segment Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace stripped back the Freddy Krueger mythos to its fundamentals – a man burned alive and swearing vengeance on the residents of a sunny suburban town, haunting the dreams of their innocent children.

“Groundskeeper Lemmy” – Fantastic chalk Willy/Lemmy mashup.  Bravo.

“Six Pack” – Barney has painted himself into a corner, literally and spiritually.

WIP Wednesday: Simpsons Couch #1 – The early stages of a very elaborate cross stitch of the family on the couch.  Can’t wait to see the completed product.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons smoking… – Homer’s got money to burn, or at least singe, anyway.

Reading Digest: What Do You Want, It’s August Edition

“Lisa, don’t sit in front of that telly like a fly stuck in a toffee.  It’s a great big world out there!” – Shary Bobbins
“Been there, done it.” – Lisa Simpson

Very short Reading Digest this week on account of the fact that there’s always a lull at this time of year because people with more sense than me are outside and away from their keyboards.  We do have some love for Season 2, some extremely crappy merchandise, some excellent usage, some more Bart art, and an Icelandic Homer, so it’s not all bad.

Enjoy.

The Dark Past Of Your Favorite Cartoon Characters And More… – This only mentions the show in passing, but it’s a great collection (complete with lots of YouTube) of the smoking, drinking, and wildly racists past of such favorites as Donald Duck and Bugs Bunny.

10 Simpsons mash-ups will make you smile – Some more excellent Bart art from that show a couple weeks ago.  Bart as Spike Lee from Do the Right Thing is spot on.

Timeline Photos – Via @RealJeffJ on Twitter is an old Icelandic comic strip that looks familiar:

The Family’s Best Friend – A short, familial history of television, complete with excellent usage:

Whether black and white or colour, big and bulky or sleek and high definition, the purpose of the television is one every generation can understand. In the word’s of Homer Simpson, “Come, family, let us all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”

Homer actually says, “Come, family, sit in the snow with Daddy,” first, but the rest of the quote is dead on.

Okily Dokily and The History of Simpsons Inspired Bands – A list of some Simpsons named bands, some famous, some not.  I’d see a band called “The Speedholes”.

5 top pacts with the devil in literature – “The Devil and Homer Simpson” makes this Faust heavy list, but “The Devil and Daniel Webster” does not.  Score one for television.

Fear the Walking Dead, Rogue One, and why Hollywood makes prequels – Almost excellent usage from Entertainment Weekly:

Hollywood has gotten more thesaurus-y in pitching these projects: companion series, expansion, reimagining, “palate cleanser.” And doesn’t “spin-off” sound wrong, classless, shamefully capitalistic? But we shouldn’t kid ourselves: The de facto Hollywood playbook right now is The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase, except now it’s The Simpsons Cinematic Universe.

128th-Final, Round 12: Bart Gets an “F” vs. Homer the Vigilante – Oof, that’s tough.

128th-Final, Round 13: Lost Our Lisa vs. The Front – This, however, is a very easy one.

S02 E06 – Dead Putting Society – Read the bosom part again:

Homer then mocks the letter endlessly with the family, especially the fact that Ned used the word “bosom” several times.

S02 E07 – Bart vs. Thanksgiving – They certainly nailed a lot of my family Thanksgiving experiences:

It’s episodes like this that really show why your parents were crabby on holidays when they hosted, everyone’s a judgy jerk

S02 E08 – Bart the Daredevil – Always cracks me up:

And I love when Flanders cries at Todd’s solo, and Homer says “c’mon Flanders, he’s not that bad.”

Itchy & Scratchy & Marge – This is true:

I love that the other kids in school give Bart sympathy for not getting to watch Itchy and Scratchy anymore. There were kids in school growing up that didn’t get to watch TV, and everyone treated them like they were bereaved.

Gr8at: Visual Jokes from The Simpsons – Heh, “Make a List”.

HAVE YOU CONTRACTED TV? – Excellent usage:

“Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.” ~ Homer Simpson (Flaxen-faced sexegenarian philosopher)

Bart Simpson Dart Board – Even by the usually low Krusty Brand Seal of Approval merchandise standards, this one is piss poor.  It’s just Homer and Bart painted on the outside of a crappy looking electronic dart board.

LEGO The SIMPSONS Minifigures SERIES 2! – YouTube of blind bags of Simpsons legos being opened.

‘Simpsons’ Writer: Trump Presidential Run ‘Not as Fun as It Should Be’ – Dan Greaney wrote “Bart to the Future”, which isn’t nearly as bad as some of the other crap in Season 11:

Greaney says he had completely forgotten about the episode until it was cited—by The Washington Post, Mashable, and Deadline, among other news outlets—as yet another example of the Simpsons writing crew’s uncanny ability to see into the future. (“Entertainment Weekly said it was the worst episode in the history of the show, [so] I was hoping to have an opportunity to have the episode reevaluated, anyway,” he said.)

Galway Comedy Carnival has the last laugh – Mike Reiss goes to Ireland:

An eye-catching offering is The Simpsons Backstage Tour with The Simpsons long-time writer and producer Mike Reiss, which includes secrets, rarely seen footage and gossip, on some of the 300 celebrities who appeared over the years. This will be an afternoon show in the Town Hall Theatre followed by a Q & A session.

Ay Caramba! – Famous interjections, one of which was popularized by Bart.

New trending GIF tagged television the simpsons cats… – Nothing but cats.

The cone of ignorance (Simpsons) – Heh.

Reading Digest: Marriage Through Simpsons Edition

“There certainly are a lot of stains on the ceiling.” – Marge Bouvier
“Marge, I’m sorry.  I wish I could afford a better place.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, I’d be lying if I said that this is how I pictured my wedding day.  But you are how I pictured my husband.” – Marge Bouvier
“I am?” – Homer Simpson
“Well, you may not look like Ted Bessell, but you’re just as nice.” – Marge Simpson

A cultural touchstone as broadly known and deeply loved as The Simpsons is bound to bring people together, and someone wearing small pigs for cufflinks at their wedding probably comes across my screen twice a year or so.  But this week, we have a happily married couple that was brought together because one of them got a Stonecutter tattoo, and the other Googled “Stonecutter tattoos”.  The story just gets more fun from there.  Truly we live in the future, and The Simpsons makes it a better one than it otherwise would be.

(Oh, and we’ve also got more Bartkira, a couple people who agree with us, some excellent usage, a Flanders band, a couple of lists, and all the other usual stuff.)

Enjoy.

My Simpsons Destiny – A few years back, I used to regularly link to a blogger who did these neat Simpsons embroideries.  Well, she’s back with one of the greatest Simpsons fan stories ever and it is Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week:

Last summer I received an email alert that someone had commented on my blog. Since I abandoned it 3 years ago I was pretty surprised. Apparently he did a Google search for Stonecutters tattoos, saw mine and said to himself “I must know this woman immediately!” and left a comment. And that’s how it began. Just some random Google search and BAM, life changer.

[…]

I mean it wasn’t just the Simpsons that made us realize we were soulmates, there were many other weird coincidences that were uncovered later. But the Simpsons was most definitely the catalyst for us meeting each other while he lived in Chicago at the time and I was in Kansas. He flew down last August to meet me in person and proposed. …with an onion ring!

Yes, you can see a picture of the engagement onion.  And, yes, there is a “Whale of a Wife” cake.  And yes, there’s a picture of the Stonecutters tattoo that started it all.  Congratulations, Amanda!

Joke Origins: I wish I could retire / The State Hospital – Our friends over at Flim Springfield have an interesting theory in regards to Homer’s dream of retirement from “Marge Gets a Job”, namely that it might have been inspired by a piece of 1960s installation art set in a mental institute.  Highly worth the read.

Okilly Dokilly: Metal with a Ned-edge – And because Flim Springfield was on a roll this week, I’m pretty sure they’re the ones who got the Ned Flanders metal band to go moderately viral:

Some friends in our Phoenix music community just started a Simpsons themed band, Okilly Dokilly. I think you can tell by their promo picture what they’re aiming for…

THRILLHAUS – Some absolutely outstanding Simpsons designs on buttons, shirt, etcetera.  Found via Xtapolapometal.

The Simpsons Best Moments – Reader Steve sends in a link to a Facebook page that indeed has some of the show’s best moments.  “Core Explosion Repent Sins” always cracks me up.

My (possibly) favorite episode of The Simpsons: “I Love Lisa” – It’s a fine choice:

Finally, on a more subjective note, I just feel like “I Love Lisa” is a perfectly structured, perfectly paced, perfectly plotted episode in which everything comes together more perfectly than any I can remember—the dialog, the jokes, the story, the characters, the emotions. Like “Marge vs. the Monorail”, “I Love Lisa” doesn’t have a B plot, but I feel like there’s more to this episode. I never get to the end of this one and think, “Oh, that’s it? It’s already ending?”

(via @SimpsonsShowPod)

John Baird’s post-politics Twitter feed is a bizarre menagerie of cat photos, Simpsons references – Good for him, I guess?:

The Ottawa MP abruptly resigned from cabinet last February, and stepped down as an MP the following month. Widely seen as one of the top contenders for power within the Conservative Party, Baird is now an advisor to Barrick Gold, and has joined the board of Canadian Pacific Railway.

[…]

The most striking detail is the sheer tonnage of cat images: Dozens of retweeted videos and animated gifs depicting cats stretching, napping or adorably swatting at things.

Typical for many who were in their 20s during the 1990s, Baird is also a devoted Simpsons fan, posting regular references and in-jokes from the series.

S01 E09 – Life on the Fast Lane – That does put a different perspective on things:

Dang. This is a heavy episode. I don’t remember it hitting so hard as a kid. I assume that would have something to do with the fact that I haven’t seen this episode since I’ve been married. Well, let’s talk about marital infidelity everyone!

Top Ten Simpsons Episodes – Part Two – This completes a list I linked back in June.  No Zombie Simpsons and “Homer Badman” at the top spot, which is both a solid choice and one I don’t see at the top of these lists too often.

Eye On Springfield with Dustie Pitstick of Duderus – Good way to put it:

My backup favorite is Lenny. As I’ve grown older I’ve watched him in my mind develop from Homer’s drinking buddy into this beautiful parody of the modern “guy’s guy”. He’s always got a smile on his face and a beer in his hand, but he’s secretly facing some horrible misfortune at every turn.

Milhouse – Bartkira – Why, he’s almost a military strongman.

If anyone wants me, I’ll be in my room. – And here’s some Duffman Bartkira.

Top 8 Grown-Up TV Cartoons – I think we all know what comes in at #1 here.

The Unsung Heroes of Hollywood: Alex Rocco – A little more appreciation for Roger Meyers Jr.

The Occasional New Post After a Few Months Delay… – Excellent usage:

And then I seemed to think that my blogging delay was getting too long for just a casual post to be my return and that I should come back with a REALLY deserving post. And then I’d built up the expectations of it and so never got around to actually writing it- until now. (“It’s going to be better than 10 Super-Bowls! I don’t want to oversell it… judge for yourselves!”- Yes. This post is Poochey… and that’s okay.)

Review: When the world becomes Springfield – A very positive review of the Indiana version of the play.

Review: The Simpsons Hit & Run – The death of console memory cards has been a boon to humanity:

I used to play this game for hours, along with my brother who did the harder missions. We eventually got 100% and because we were so paranoid that our data was going to be lost from our PS2 memory card, we transferred it onto two different memory cards just to be safe. It was one of those games that we would go back and play again from the start and still have so much enjoyment from.

Punch them! – Heh.  (The black and white is a nice touch.)

The Simpsons jumped the shark . . . in 1999 – Finally, and just like last week, I get to end with two people who agree with us (via):

At its peak, the show was incredibly sophisticated, working at a level that appealed to children and adults alike. Episodes featured slapstick, visual gags, incredibly sly wordplay, and cultural references. Now, in its Abe Simpson-like dotage, the show’s jokes seem obvious, the wordplay more crass, and the references less subtle. This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the problems afflicting the fine folk of Springfield.

Indeed.

Memories of Springfield, Part 1 – And finishing up:

The majority of these episodes, barring only a few exceptions, were extremely well-written and packed practically beginning to end with moments that were any to all of the following: clever, perfectly-timed, hilarious, and infinitely quotable. In the seasons that followed, due to the exodus of the show’s best writers, and having apparently run out of good story ideas, the episode plots became fragmented and outlandish, and the attempts at humour lacking in any real wit, instead being almost entirely reliant on sight gags. Episodes went from generating LOLs per minute to eliciting no more than a chuckle or two in the entire half hour. The show has never since regained its former glory.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Reading Digest: Global Calls for Cancellation Edition

“First of all, his accuser is a very shady character.  That waiter, Mr. LaCoste, not only wasn’t born in Springfield, he wasn’t even born in this country!” – Blue Haired Lawyer
“From now on, you tell me everything!” – Lionel Hutz

This week we’ve got two different foreigners calling for the show to be sent to a farm upstate, and both are agreeably brutal towards Zombie Simpsons.  In addition to that, we’ve got reports from that LA art show, the play has expanded its reach again, there’s some excellent fan art, another person’s going to try and watch them all, and more.

Enjoy.

Curated by Be Street :: The Unofficial Bootleg Bart Art Show – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this interview with the guy behind that highfalutin art show in Los Angeles.  Groening himself even showed up:

The show also included a 10-foot tall piñata of Bart mooning the crowd, and a 26-foot-long wall on which attendees were able to draw their own Bootleg Bart (Matt Groening even came out and left his mark on the wall). Next month, Be Street will host its first Be Street Weeknd in Los Angeles, and in October, the Bootleg Bart art show will travel to Paris,

And, if they have time, Chicago, Boston and Springfield.

The Simpsons kitchen comes to life in Calgary home – A Canadian couple redid their kitchen to look like 742 Evergreen Terrace, right down to the corn cob curtains.  There’s even video.

A Lifetime of Simpsons – Another person is attempting to watch them all and blog about it:

A combination of the show dipping in quality, and me expanding my horizons to new shows and movies led me to gradually stop watching the show. Where I used to watch the show religiously and tape the episodes each Sunday night, now I would go weeks without catching and episode, then when I would, I’d feel disappointed. I briefly came back when the movie came out in 2007, but by then the spark was gone. In college I met some friends who had similar stories, and we bonded watching the classic seasons together, but once again, the Simpsons faded out of my life.

Now, on the eve of my 26th birthday, I have a plan. I want to reconnect with the show that meant so much to me. So, for the foreseeable future, I’m going to watch every episode of the show. The good, the bad, and the painful. Every week day I’ll be posting my thoughts on the episodes. An episode a day. For 574 days and counting. It’ll be a hell of a journey, but I feel like I owe it to the show that meant so much to me, and honestly shaped me into the man I am today. So please join me as I travel through a Life Time of the Simpsons.

Good luck!  I’d certainly quit after Season 11, but that’s just me.  Right now he’s up to “The Telltale Head“:

As time has gone on, I’ve gotten very comfortable with my atheism, and who knows, the cynicism that the Simpsons always portrays organized religion, may have had something to do with it. When they’re listening to the sermon, they’re always bored, and when they’re in Sunday school they’re miserable. And that’s kind of what I’ve always associated church with. And really, on the rare occasions I have to sit through a sermon now, it’s pretty much the same. But I love church scenes on the show. They’re always so hilarious, especially the Sunday school scenes. And this one was a great one, we get to hear the exasperated Sunday School teacher tell the kids the heaven is only for people (which I always thought was bullshit) and then have to deal with Bart’s ridiculous follow up. I can’t tell if the best Bart question is whether a gangrenous leg that gets amputated goes to heaven, or if a ventriloquist dummy gets to go with the ventriloquist. I also love the defeated teacher asking “is a little blind faith too much to ask?” That pretty sums up my feelings about religion to a tee.

Simpsons part of the ‘Topes family – The story of how Homer and Marge statues came to a baseball stadium in New Mexico:

There, sitting on a couch outside the entrance to Nick Metropolis Collectible Furniture – “the coolest junk yard of weird, cool and collectible stuff you can imagine,” Traub said – were Homer and Marge.

Animation representation – I have no real disagreements with this:

Consider The Simpsons. The award-winning sitcom has some of the biggest brains in the business writing for it and has created some of America’s best comedy. However, with its vast cast of characters, The Simpsons is also able to draw the starkest contrast. A quick scan of Wikipedia’s character page for the show reveals that about 88 recurring characters are male. Female representation trails at approximately 26 recurring characters.

The show was way ahead of its time when it started.  Now?  Not so much.  (via)

Letting Academic Things Go – I would’ve read this:

Kelly J. Baker just posted an article called “Goodbye to All That,” about abandoning her recently-contracted plan to write an academic book on the cultural history of zombies. I have very similar feelings about my work on music in The Simpsons, including my proposed academic book, related possible journal articles, and already-presented conference papers (e.g., 2006, 2013).

Round 1, Battle 40 – (S. 5, Ep. 7) Bart’s Inner Child vs.U (S.9 Ep.20) The Trouble with Trillions – Agreed:

McGonigle flags fly forever. Bart’s Inner Child Moves on.

The story behind that Simpsons street art on downtown Houston’s east side – Sure, it’s a publicity stunt.  But it’s a neat one, and there’s lot of pictures in the slideshow.  (via @DailySimpsons)

5 Fandom Friday: I NEED THESE PETS! – Snowball II makes a list of pets we’d all like to have, along with Stitch and R2D2.

How American culture went nuclear — without us realizing it – Heh:

Back in the 1960s, Weart says, a psychologist gave people a word-association test as part of a study. The tester said “nuclear,” and the subjects answered with words like “bomb,” “laboratory” and “war.” The question was asked again in the 1990s, with subjects repeating many of the same words, except adding a new term: “The Simpsons.”

bort – Fan made zombie Bart with a crow bar, presumably for prying and jimmying.

Crazy Bart Simpson by Alexandrov Oleg – Awesome stylized Bart.  I’d guess that’s steam coming out of his ears (if we’re lucky).

TheaterJones | Q&A: Anne Washburn – The play comes to Texas.

‘Simpsons’ episode drives plot of new play – And Indiana.

LEGO Dimensions: Worlds Feature Trailer – So, Lego pretty much has all of the licenses now, and they would like you to buy them too.

Doug Camilli: Hey Snoop, how are you liking Europe? – I love craptacular:

Last week I told you about Greg Poehler using the term “craptastically” about the brutal ratings that killed his sitcom. Along the way I said he had coined this “memorable, useful new word.”

Not so fast, says reader Amy Lord, who tells me she and her friends have used the word for years.

She added that all this reminded her a classic bit from The Simpsons:

Mrs. Krabappel: “Embiggens? I never heard that word before moving to Spingfield.”

Miss Hoover: “I don’t know why, it’s a perfectly cromulent word.”

And an article at cracked.com claims that “craptacular” – first cousin to craptastic, obviously – is, like cromulent, a Simpsons coinage.

Thanks, Ms. Lord.

The Reason Why Teaching Children to Count Just Got Harder – Excellent usage:

Sylvester Stallone, the creator of the successful Rocky movie franchise has his own unique method of counting to 10, although it’s possibly due to not being able to understand him, or his lack of trying that I haven’t found out exactly how and when we’ll reach ten with his method.

His method goes like this…

Rocky, II, III, IV, V, Balboa, Creed

The Rocky method of counting was noted in the Simpsons episode Lemon of Troy. During a class lesson, Bart’s teacher Mrs Krabappel tries to teach the class Roman Numerals. Her class is disrupted when Nelson announces to the class that something has happened (the Springfield lemon tree had been stolen) yet there was no time to explain.

Summer Camp Shakedown – Kamp Krusty ties for worst camp with the one from a horror movie called Sleepaway Camp that sounds just awesome.

Sexy Marge is Sexy – That’s a very elaborate Marge wig.  Bravo, somebody.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons maggie… – Tracy Ullman Maggie belching.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons bart… – Bart reacting to the all syrup super Squishee.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons car pig… – Old Zeke rides up front.

10 Best Season Finales Of A Comedy Series – “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One” makes the list at #4.

My 5 Favorite TV Title Sequences – The show comes in #2 to Kimmy Schmidt, which does have a great opening.

‘Simpsons’ Lawsuit From ‘Goodfellas’ Actor Dismissed – Remember that lawsuit that never had any chance?  Now you can go back to never thinking about it.

Here’s why The Simpsons deserves to be cancelled – The first excellent article that agrees with us comes all the way from Ireland, and doesn’t mince words:

What began as an alternative to the mainstream trash – creator Matt Groening’s own words, by the way – has crossed over and become just that. Trash.

[…]

In 2001, longtime producer / showrunner Al Jean said that “the hardest thing at this point is just thinking of fresh ideas. People are so on top of things that we’ve done before, so the challenge now is to think of an idea that’s good, but hasn’t been seen.” That’s fourteen years ago. We’ve had fourteen years of tired, hackneyed ideas and couch gags and references to jokes that show a writing team and showrunners who aren’t leading popular culture so much as desperately following it to stay relevant.

Indeed.

How is The Simpsons still on the air? – And now, from Canada:

Today I find The Simpsons virtually unwatchable. It feels baggy and lumpen, stilted with dead air; the characters and locations are recognizable, but put to use in a way that strikes me as closer to fan-fiction than a continuation of a once-beloved thing.

Preach, brother.  Preach.

 

Reading Digest: Bands! Edition

“You got Poison to play at our wedding?” – Becky
“We’re Cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison.” – Cyanide Singer
“We need a ride home!” – Cyanide Drummer

This week we might have a link of the month instead of a link of the week.  From Australia comes a list of bands with names from the show from all over the globe.  I’ve linked maybe three or four of them on here, and I had no idea just how many there really were.  It needs to be seen to be believed, and it’s hard to conceive of another show offering up this many possibilities.  Just astounding.  In addition to that, we’ve got more bootleg Bart stuff, some speculation on the demise of the DVDs, several pieces of fan art, love for Lisa, new merchandise, and more.

Enjoy.

This Is What A Festival Filled With Bands Named After ‘The Simpsons’ Would Look & Sound Like – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this list of real bands with Simpsons names.  They band play good.

The 13 Best Bootleg Barts – An excellent selection of new bootleg Bart images from that show in LA last week.

Bart Vs Video Game Trivia: How Well Do You Know Simpsons Games? – There’s even a quiz.

The Simpsons DVD news: Are the sales really that bad? No, they aren’t – The show was selling relatively well, but wasn’t doing gangbusters anymore if this is true:

Yes, those numbers are approximately half of the sales of season 16, but the numbers are still excellent given the market today. I think there’s more to this story than “sales numbers are poor.” Maybe their sales expectations are too high and they would rather make no money off DVD sales than less money.

What the article doesn’t mention is that FOX might not want to keep doing DVDs if they’re also selling the show through streaming and FXX.  I don’t know the full thinking (and this is FOX we’re talking about, thinking might not have been involved at all), but I don’t think it’s entirely coincidental that they canned the DVDs after they finally got their streaming product off the ground.  Thanks to @mstcambot on Twitter.

Eye On Springfield with Shayne Mathis – Fantastic:

My first exposure to vegetarianism was from the episode Lisa The Vegetarian. Has the show ever exposed you to an idea that impacted your life? (Lisa become veg, Barney quitting drinking, etc.)
I wish I had a good story for this question but the extent of The Simpsons’ effect on my life was that I prank called my local grocery store a few times and got them to page Amanda Hugnkiss, I.P. Freely, etc over the PA system.

Eye On Springfield with Chuck BB – My local station had Saturday episodes, except when they had baseball.  Stupid baseball:

The show was in its prime when I was in middle school, I think just entering into syndication – So I would catch The Simpsons airing every night at that point, memorizing jokes and lines and talking to the other kids about the replayed episode the next day. Every God Damn Day…except Saturday. Stupid Saturday.

The Last Word … Homer’s odyssey – I don’t know enough about British politics to fully understand this, but comparing Labour’s leadership election to “Lisa the Vegetarian” is pretty brilliant all by itself.  Thanks to reader David S. for sending this in!

‘The Simpsons’ predicted President Trump way back in 2000 – It’s always fun to watch things percolate up from the bottom of the internet to the top.  As soon as Trump declared, Simpsons geeks mentioned it, then it faded, then someone puts it on Reddit and it rises again, then it fades one more time, and then it makes it to the Washington Post.

The Singing Dorkette – I’m not saying I would trade in my family or anything, but that’s pretty awesome:

If there is one cartoon character that I have related to throughout my childhood, adolescence and feeble attempt at the starting blocks of adulthood, it is Lisa Simpson. Lisa relied heavily on self validation via grades and school success, had her social anxieties, often seemed to feel everything acutely with her sensitive soul, and had strong principles that meant she was faced with many ethical dilemmas. I feel that our outlooks on life are similar.

Plus, when I told my family that I was to stop eating meat, they, too, started a conga line around the kitchen and chanted in sing-song voices, “you don’t win friends with salad”.

Best of luck with the new blog!

Cowabunga – Some Bartkira panels.

Sketch-a-day 7.28 – An agreeably distressed looking Homer drawing.

Superhero – Fallout Milhouse to the rescue!

9 Songs You Didn’t Know Carole King Wrote – Apparently including Lisa’s Jazzman. 

Beaming For Bunnies: Stuff I got in the mail – Our old friend Galileo both sends and receives Simpsons swag.

Dear Life, | letters from milhouse – Yep:

I am milhouse.
Perpetually waiting for my Lisa.

My mom thinks I’m cool.

clearly marge had an affair – Heh.

TV Pick of the Day – Tuesday 28 July – Heh:

What is it: The Simpsons ‘King-Size Homer

Watch it for: The muumuu, the ass pay-off at the end.

10 Most Emotionally Packed Comedy Episodes – “Mother Simpson” makes the list along with, naturally, the dead dog episode of Futurama.

Character Options launches new The Simpsons toy collection – A breathing person actually said this:

With such a huge global reach we are confident that this will be a highly successful new offering within the Character portfolio.

More “collectibles”, on the way.

I Never Caught That: The Simpsons Eddie and Lou in background out of uniform – Nice catch.  Though, Wiggum did let all the criminals out for that game.

Hazel Likes: Sprinkle D’oh-Nuts Dress – More high fashion Simpsons clothing, this time a pretty pink dress.

1998 20th Century Homer Simpson Alarm Clock – Here’s a blast from the Krusty Brand Seal of Approval past, an alarm clock where Homer’s eyes aren’t even pointed in the same direction.

 

GIANT Homer Simpson Santa Claus 8′ Airblown Inflatable Gemmy Light Up – It’s less than five months until Christmas.  Start now.

Body Shapes, a Handy Guide – Heh.  Speaking personally, I’ve always been attracted to Bart women.

Reading Digest: Fan Made Crossovers Are Better Edition

“But first, move over Baltimore!  Springfield has stolen your idea!” – Kent Brockman

Some internet genius put together a version of the opening credits of the third season of The Wire, including the song, but with clips from only Season 3 of the show, and it works.  Meanwhile, out in Los Angeles, someone’s putting together an art show that’s just about Bart and the various bootleg incarnations he spawned in the early 90s, all of which are more creative than, say, cramming the Simpsons into a Family Guy or Futurama episode.  In addition to that, we’ve got lots of .gifs, Azaria talkin’ softball, Bart and Marge as ducks, and more.

Enjoy.

(Oh, and if you haven’t taken that Simpsons survey yet, here it is again.)

Season three credits of The Simpsons and The Wire = The Wiresons · Great Job, Internet! – This was making the rounds this week, and with good cause:

As A.V. Club explains:

Credit should go to YouTuber CasimirN for managing to take clips from only season three of the animated hit and turn it into a reasonable facsimile, complete with images perfectly matching the real-world sounds injected into the theme song. This seems like a good fit for all Matt Groening and David Simon creations; we eagerly await the dark and gritty world of Tremerama.

Bart in the fitting room as the security camera cracks was damn near perfect.  Excellent.

The Springfield Gifhole: Bart the Murderer – Reader Nick D. sends in this excellent collection of .gifs from “Bart the Murderer”.  It’s a big page, and there are a ton of them.  I’m particularly fond of Bart pouring himself shots of milk and the kids kicking the crap out of Cocoa Beany himself.

Bootleg Bart Simpson Killed Saddam. He Ended Apartheid. And Now He’s Back – If you’re in or around Los Angeles this weekend, there is an art show of classic bootleg Bart happening tomorrow and Sunday.  Looks neat.

Beloved ‘Godfather’ and ‘Simpsons’ Co-Star Alex Rocco Has Died(1936–2015) – No real news here, I just find it amusing that the Simpsons is also in the headline.

Watch Hank Azaria Give the Mets a ‘Simpsons’ Voiceover – This was also making the rounds this week.  Azaria seems like a typically broken Mets fan.

Front Street Foods’ Miche Bakery outside Union Station sells The Homer doughnut – Toronto gets all the cool stuff:

“People don’t even have to read the name, they just say ‘oh! It’s The Homer doughnut,’” says baker Michelle Rose of her product. “They just know.”

That’s because Rose’s edible homage to the favourite TV dad is decorated with fuchsia icing and multicoloured sprinkles. It’s a bestseller at her tiny, pop-up bakery stand at Front Street Foods — Union Station’s summertime market, featuring local artisans.

Smartline – I do not have any upcoming gay weddings on my social calendar, but this would be a great card for one.

Hans Moleman Finally Gets Some Love In This New MC Lars Video – Let’s just say that the clips and almost all of the lyrics aren’t from Zombie Simpsons.  Well done.

‘The Simpsons’: Albert Brooks’ Iconic Guest Characters – A tribute to Brooks that, I’m sure done only for shock value, includes his appearances in Zombie Simpsons.  (He was the best part of the movie, however.)

The Simpsons: Someone has recreated the entire town of Springfield in Lego form. And it’s amazing… – We’ve linked this one before, but it was making the rounds again and remains damn cool.

Bart Gets An F. – Indeed:

At this point, the series only needed to tell a story without needing to barrage its audience with pop culture references.

There are a ton of references in there, but it’s not the flavor-of-the-week crap that they do now, it’s Hemingway and Melville.

OK, Okay, Okey-Dokey Are A-Okay – Teaching English with the Simpsons:

There are also funny ways to say okay. Some people say okey-dokey or okey-doke. These expressions were first used in the 1930s. Today, a character on the American television series, “The Simpsons,” says it another way. He says okely-dokely.

Summer Books – The Simpsons math book on a list of math books.

SOMEONE JUST PAID $38.5K TO OWN A MICHAEL JACKSON SONG – It was “Do the Bartman”, except that . . .

BRYAN LOREN DENIES THAT MICHAEL JACKSON CO-WROTE ‘DO THE BARTMAN’ – . . . maybe Michael Jackson didn’t write it after all:

“The story of the song and its creation has been a thorn in my side since I did it,” said Loren. “But, despite Matt Groening’s repeated confessions, I am the sole writer of the song.”

He added, “While it’s true, along with me, Michael Jackson does sing backing vocals. And it WAS his idea to call the song, DTB. AND, he did insist I include his name in the lyric. Hence, ‘If you can do the Bart, you’re bad like Michael Jackson.’ And so, obviously, he was involved. Perhaps this tidbit of info is not as sensational as saying MJ co-wrote the song, but I assure you, he did not.”

Epic Beer Names (Part 4) – Football to the Grain would be pretty awesome.

[PHOTOS] Lifetime’s ‘Unauthorized Beverly Hills 90210 Story’ & ‘Melrose Place’ Cast – Apparently this is happening:

“The Simpsons’” Dan Castellaneta and “Hot in Cleveland’s” Adam Korson appear in both films, as mega-producer Aaron Spelling and series creator Darren Star, respectively.

Castellaneta’s only 58, if they want to make a true-to-life story about those shows, he should be playing a twenty-something, maybe thirty-ish.

Adam Sandler brings ‘Pixels’ down to his sleepy, bro-ish level – Sandler’s latest cinematic bowel movement is getting largely panned, and this review contains an excellent classic reference.

But the real battle is between the high-concept, effects-heavy blockbuster and the slovenly, lazy, by this point arrogant cinema of its star — two things that go together like nuts and gum, which is to say because some overrepresented demographic likes them both.

Together at last!

Today on the tray: Hot dogs – The whole hot dog song is very catchy.

Tao of Homer – Heh.

Those were the days – A UK site for “free bingo” which sounds flakey, to say the least, e-mailed in with this admittedly kinda neat teevee cartoon retrospective.  I had totally forgotten about Bananaman.

Yellow like the Simpsons – Neat and weird little sketches of Bart and Marge as ducks.

Reading Digest: Contradictory Beer Edition

“Here you go, Red Tick Beer.” – Moe
“Hmm, bold, refreshing, and something I can’t quite put my finger on.” – Homer Simpson
“Needs more dog.” – Red Tick Brewmaster

This week FOX announced that Chile would be getting a real life Duff variant, apparently prompted by unlicensed (and, one assumes highly popular) versions that were already on sale.  This is amusing in a “merchandising rules everything around me, get the money, dolla dolla bill ya’ll” kind of way, but it seems awfully contradictory.  Duff is supposed to be crappy beer that only a swine would drink, but presumably if they’re spending the money to actually make it, they won’t just turn it into the disgusting Budweiser/Miller clone it was meant to be.  So it’s going to be beer that’s good to drink but inauthentic to the show, or it’ll be crappy beer that’s hard to drink but true to the source material.  Either way we can complain, so I guess it’s win-win.

In addition to that, we’ve got yet more high fashion Simpsons clothing, more love for Lisa, a couple of people who agree with us, street art/advertising, and the video realization of that long simmering Bartkira project.

Enjoy.

The Principal and the Pauper: Worst Episode Ever – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this thoughtful dive into the most infamous episode in the show’s history.  This has always been one of the more grating aspects of that episode:

Beyond the ret-con of Skinner’s experience in Vietnam, it just doesn’t fit with the man we’ve seen in the show to that point. Skinner, in the Principal and the Pauper, is a chancer. Deep down, despite his bursts of cynicism (”come on Edna, we both know these children have no future!”) there’s the sense he cares for the kids, for the school and for his job. As shown in the Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Badaaasss Song, or even at the end of the The Boy Who Knew Too Much, he’s essentially a boring, sweet man. Yes, he may arbitrary, and is slowly being crushed by the system, and specifically Supernintendo Chalmers, but there is a goodness, and, dare I say it, an authenticity to the character.

Mmm … Real Duff Beer From The Simpsons – A licensed version of Duff is coming to Chile.  This will apparently be different than the Duff they’re selling at the theme parks since they’re consulting with a “brewmaster”.  If legal Duff spreads, will each country get its own brew?  That would actually be pretty cool.

Simpsons street art in Texas – They even got the spelling right.  Bravo, Houston not quite comedy club.

Bartkira the Animated Trailer – This was making the rounds last week and is really well done.  I have no idea how serious they are about actually doing the whole thing, but I’d sure watch it.

El Barto – And speaking of Bartkira, here’s some storyboard sketches.

6 exceptional artwork inspired by A Clockwork Orange – A couple of drawings of Bart, Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph as the gang.

Blood Feud | You Don’t Win Friends With Simpsons – This always gets me:

–Bart: How did the lion get rich?

Homer: It was the olden days.

Mounties, baseball and The Simpsons find way into new book, Strange Saskatchewan – Apparently Matt Groening’s father was Canadian:

For other examples of the curious or fascinating, take the story about the stagecoach robber whose conscience got the better of him, causing him to return his victims’ money and split a bottle of whisky with them. Or the legend that, in 1915, the wheat crop was so dense that farmers could walk across it. Or the fact Matt Groening’s father — on whom Homer Simpson is loosely based — is from Saskatchewan.

Billy and the cloneasaurus – Nice Cloneasaurus graphic.

The Simpsons: Everything you need to know from Comic-Con in our live blog – Lots of Zombie Simpsons news, if that’s your thing.

SDCC 2015: ‘The Simpsons’ Panel And Q & A – Video of same, if that’s your thing.

Yo Man! – Ye olde Simpsons button.

Alf Clausen: 40 Years of Music From “The Carol Burnett Show” to “The Simpsons” – A series of interviews with Clausen (via @simpsonology).

Eye On Springfield with Jason Cantu of Slaves BC – Best Flanders shirt ever.

Smartline – Some excellent Simpsons/album cover t-shirts.

‘The Simpsons’: 8 Fascinating Facts About ‘Marge Vs. The Monorail’ – Just what it says.  Nothing really new, but there’s a .gif of Wiggum watching the train go.

10 Lisa-Centric ‘Simpsons’ Episodes – Just that, happily there’s no Zombie Simpsons.

Threads | The Simpsons X Neff Collection – More fashionable Simpsons clothing.  This stuff must really sell.

Adorable ’90s Pop Culture-Inspired Lip Art – The first one is Homer, and it’s pretty neat.  The second one is the Cheshire Cat from the 1951 version of Alice in Wonderland, so I’m not sure how that qualifies as “’90s”.

There was a Family Guy/The Simpsons crossover and everyone thought it was a bit weird – The U.K. seemed to have as generally low an opinion of the crossover as the U.S. did.

Why Lisa Simpson Is An Awesome Feminist – Starting with Lisa, dressed as a Movementarian, shouting about the whole system being out of order was an excellent choice.

Daily Drawing 175 – Wonderfully creepy fan sketch of evil looking Marge, Krusty and Bart.

Rhymes of History Technology – A look at fictional picture phones, including the rotary version in “Lisa’s Wedding”.

We Talked to Cypress Hill’s Sen Dog About Ending the Simpsons and Getting Hella High with Snoop Dogg – This would almost certainly be better than whatever fizzle they eventually produce:

If you had to end the show, how would you do it? 
End? That’s unthinkable. I’d never make the Simpsons end. If I had to, though, the last scene would be Homer and Marge… getting stoned with Cypress Hill.

Running Away From Home: Central Park (NYC) – Being famous sucks:

Running in Central Park is so awesome even famous people do it! On our way back toward Columbus Circle, my wife and I saw actor Hank Azaria as he jogged through the park. He and I sort of made eye contact, in all likelihood because he noticed me looking at him as I was trying to figure out, “Is that Hank Azaria?”

My 5 Favourite Lisa Simpsons Episodes – An excellent list with nothing from Zombie Simpsons.

Is it Time Yet?? – A .gif of Homer’s stomach rumble from “Homerpalooza”.

The best of Groundskeeper Willie – Willie hears ya, Willie don’t care.

Cruelty towards hogs raise questions about pork – Excellent YouTube usage:

Lisa Simpson, arguably television’s foremost vegetarian, once tried to explain to her father that bacon, ham, pork chops all come from the same animal. “Oh right, Lisa, a wonderful, magical animal,” Homer retorts.

TV Pick of the Day – “Homer the Great” remains great.

Fashion Spotlight: All characters must die!, Gotta Train Em All!, and Dragon Peanuts – Arya Stark as Bart writing her names on a chalkboard.

The Simpsons Season 26 – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

Weakest season of all. I can count the funny bits on one hand. Cought myself saying ‘really?’ almost every week.

Luckily, some weeks they don’t have new ones.

Reading Digest: Pancakes Edition

“This is gonna be the best birthday breakfast Mom ever had.” – Lisa Simpson
“Hey, Lis, you think that’s enough for her?” – Bart Simpson
“Maybe one more.” – Lisa Simpson

Since the Fourth falls on a Saturday this year, making tomorrow a de facto holiday, here’s Reading Digest a day early.  The holiday mean that it’s shorter than usual, but we’ve got several excellent pieces of fan art, an unofficial Lego house, and pancakes, pancakes, pancakes!

Enjoy.

The Big Lebowski vs. The Pin Pals: Who Wins a Fictional Bowling Game? – He had to exclude Otto and Burns to make the teams even, but the analysis here is pretty good:

Like his personality Sobchak blows hot and cold so you never know what you’re going to get. If Cynthia’s dog is taken care of and his laundry is clean, he could put up a 250. If the slightest little iota is out of order, he might not break 100.

Rick and Morty Season 2 Premiere Trailer: Mr. Meseeks and Intergalactic Customs Return, Comic-Con Footage Comes to Life: Heh:

A Rick and Morty Season 2 promo trailer is here. Apparently this first look trailer for Rick and Morty Season 2 aired during The Simpsons Season 26 finale but Rick and Morty fans are only just noticing its existence. Does anyone still watch The Simpsons?

Not really, no.  In other news, I am looking forward to more Rick and Morty.

The Future of TSTO game – Pt. 1 – The main Tapped Out site is expanding to cover other topics.  Having been off Tapped Out for a year and a half now, I find this amusing:

Step-by-step instructions on how to proceed in an event. While we know this information is helpful to our readers, it is one of the least enjoyable topics to write about. As events become more complicated and cumbersome, this process become more of a chore.

Nothing says “fun” like “complicated and cumbersome”.

I Got In Touch With People Who Abused Me Online To Ask Why – A BuzzFeed writer wrote about never having watched the show, and, being female, got death and rape threats.  One dude finds a bit of absolution for it.

7 Reasons to Visit San Francisco – Scroll to #6 for some excellent Simpsons art.

LISTEN: The Simpsons – ‘The Call Of The Simpsons’ Review – You ever know a siren to be good?

Danny Elfman on Film Scores, ‘Simpsons’ and Working With Tim Burton – Every time there’s an interview with Elfman, he tells the story basically the same way:

I told Matt Groening, “If you want something contemporary – television contemporary – I’m not the guy.” ‘Cause I didn’t understand TV themes in the Eighties at all. “If you want something really retro, I’m the guy.” ‘Cause it felt like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon that never was, and there was something reminiscent of The Flintstones: going through the city, even though Fred Flintstone was running and Homer’s driving the car. And he said, “Yeah, that’s what I’m looking for.” I wrote it in my head in the car on the way back. By the time I got home from the meeting it was all done. I ran downstairs, recorded a demo, sent it out, got a call back, Matt says, “Yeah, great.” It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

DOH-ceptively spacious – Fan made mini-version of the Simpsons Lego house.  Well done.

HOMIE – Fan made drawing of Homer with an alien piercing his skull.  Neat.

We Got Presidential Hopeful Ted Cruz To Do An Audition For “The Simpsons” – As I said on Twitter, he butchers the “magical animal” setup, but overall he isn’t terrible.  The .gifs, especially Twirling for Freedom, will come in very handy if he wins the nomination.

Max (movie)…In 10 Words – We’ll get you a new dog, one with an untwistable psyche!

Ted 2…In 10 Words – Hug, him, squeeze him, tug at his fur.

▶ Pancake Art – Homer Simpson (Simpsons) Easy – This doesn’t look all that easy to me, but I can’t draw for squat:

There are also videos for Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.  Bravo.

Reading Digest: Moaning Lisa Has Aged Very Well Edition

“Just take mine.  A simple cupcake will bring me no pleasure.” – Lisa Simpson

This week we’ve got two links hearkening back to Season 1’s melancholy masterpiece “Moaning Lisa”, and two different fond remembrances of the first time someone ever watched the show.  Season 1 often gets overlooked for the very understandable reasons that it both looks and sounds quite different than it would even in Season 2, but those episodes still resonate with people, and that’s astonishing.  In addition to that, we’ve got a great Spider-Man put down, new old bootleg Bart, some .gifs, and a horrifying soccer mascot.

Enjoy.

Tom Holland is Spider-Man’s New “Hat” At A Time When I Wanted a Lisa Lionheart – Excellent usage:

The makers of Malibu Stacy, the Simpsons stand-in for Barbie, respond with an all-night brainstorming session where it is decided to release a Malibu Stacy which is exactly the same but has a new hat.

A River of Melted Hot Butter – This is a transcript of a diary from when the author was a kid, and this is great:

After dinner we went to ACE and got some candy.  I got some gum.  It was so good.  I’m chewing the gum right now.  I am also watching The Simpsons.  It is my favorite episode.  At 7:00, Jamie is coming to spend the night.  Anyway, it’s almost seven and she’s going to miss The Simpsons.  That’s okay, she saw it when she came over today.

But what episode is it??

Three Men And A Comic Book – This is true:

-Wow, they got away with Homer saying “T.S.” on prime-time television, in the early 90s. Sure, it was just an acronym, but it was still pretty bold for the time.

Also, too, I was about the only kid I knew who hated The Wonder Years, so I’ve always loved when Homer keeps interrupting Bart’s narrative staring.

Sex and The Simpsons – And none of the examples are from Zombie Simpsons, hooray.  Also, there’s a .gif of Homer in the Mr. Plow jacket.

The Shearer Situation: An Overview – Our old friend Noah takes a look at the why of Shearer’s departure:

So, why would he leave then? Well, these seem to be the three prevailing theories:

Be Street – Bootleg Bart Creative Contest – Modern takes on classic Bart.  Notorious B.A.R.T. is great.

Hank Azaria on Harry Shearer’s Simpsons Dispute – No real news here, but at least Azaria’s got a sense of humor about it:

Azaria, who conceded, “If he really doesn’t come back, the show has to continue in some way at least for a while … Maybe we’ll do a YouTube thing, like how they found that Asian guy that sings for Journey.”

LISTEN: The Simpsons ‘Moaning Lisa’ Review – Just what it says.  I love that episode.

Caitlyn Jenner is given The Simpsons treatment with her Vanity Fair cover – That same Italian artists strikes again.

Is Pixar’s Inside Out Just a Herman’s Head Rip-Off? – Excellent usage:

Oh, really, Pixar, you’re going inside the mind of an 11-year-old girl to visit the personifications of her primary emotions – Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Bill Hader), Disgust (Mindy Kaling) and Anger (Lewis Black), all of whom congregate in “headquarters.”  In the immortal words of George Harrison watching the Bee Sharps perform on top of Moe’s Bar on The Simpsons, “It’s been done.”

Incidentally, Inside Out was fantastic.

Pixar’s Inside Out: Riley is a feminist hero. – Double excellent usage:

They’re clearly well-meaning, but they’re guilt-tripping their kid. (The scenario echoes a 1990 Simpsons episode in which sweet Marge Simpson implores a down-in-the-dumps Lisa to “take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down past your knees, until you’re almost walking on them.”)

And:

The only thing to do is forgive yourself and try to do better next time. (Marge Simpson came around, too; she apologizes to Lisa and says, “Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We’ll ride it out with you.”)

Perfectly quoted and apt (and have I mentioned Inside Out is really good?).

Eye On Springfield: Ross Mckendrick – Fantastic:

What is your history with the Simpsons? Do you remember the first time you saw the show?
I was born in 1988, so The Simpsons has been around pretty much my whole life. I was aware of it from a very young age but my family never had satellite TV, which was the only way you could see episodes in the UK at that time. The first time I ever saw the show itself must’ve been Hallowe’en 1994, because it was the Treehouse Of Horror episode with ‘The Shinning’ in it.
I only managed to catch it because my mum had taken me out guising (which is what we call trick-or-treating in Scotland), and as we reached the house about 2 doors down from ours the episode was just starting. I invited myself into this family’s house, plonked myself in front of their TV and pretty much refused to leave for most of the episode.
I was totally enthralled by it, I didn’t even bother doing my ‘trick’, which was my pretty killer Jim Carrey impression (I had dressed as The Mask; green face, zoot suit and everything). I thought the fact they had a Scottish character was awesome, and even more awesome was the fact it was a cartoon, but it had axe murders in it. I seriously thought the whole show was like that; a twisted cartoon take on movies I wasn’t allowed to watch yet.
It was love at first sight.
 

Al Jean has 90 hours (and counting) of Simpsons commentaries under his belt – Not a great deal of big information in this Jean interview, but this is kinda funny:

AVC: Have you found that people know your voice from the commentaries now?

AJ: Yes, in a very spooky fashion. I was at an airport restaurant in Arizona, and I hadn’t given my credit card, and the guy goes, “Oh, you’re Al Jean from The Simpsons!” That is a bizarre feeling.

Homer and Marge address the ‘split’ rumours – The show put out a ninety second video to keep attention on them for CNN’s fuckup.  You will be unsurprised to learn that it contains a lot of exposition and Homer gets badly hurt and yells.

Partick Thistle’s new half sun/half Lisa Simpson mascot is absolutely terrifying – That is serious nightmare fuel.

Top Five TV Sofas and Chairs – Even British furniture companies know that the Simpsons couch is iconic.

Fashion Spotlight: Fighting Scottish, Doof Warrior vs The Mad, and Fight Like A Princess – Groundskeeper Willie as athletic mascot.

agoodcartoon: fumbling but well-meaning, the… – Reader Ethan P sends in this Tennessee political cartoon featuring, Burns, Homer, and a mouthwatering donut.  Thanks, Ethan!

New trending GIF tagged reaction the simpsons simpsons… – It’s TS for Ralph.

New trending GIF tagged reaction the simpsons laughing… – Burns laughing maniacally.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons via… – Barney turning into Minday and back again.  Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts.

Eye On Springfield: Kathy Bejma Of Metalcakes/Faberge Egg Salad – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us.  This is an interview with the blog author who did the recipes I linked last week, and in addition to having some great Simpsons patches and buttons (which you can see at the link), there’s this:

Do you still watch the show? If not, do you remember what made you stop watching?
I don’t watch the show anymore. I’m a fan of seasons 1-10. There are 2 or 3 episodes I like in season 11, but that’s it.
I stopped watching when the jokes weren’t clever anymore. More times than not, I was laughing because I was uncomfortable, not because it was actually funny.

Amen, sister.

Reading Digest: Why Yes, It Is Time for Zombie Simpsons To End Edition

“Homey, I know you love me.  We don’t need to get married again.” – Marge Simpson
“Yes we do!  I got us a divorce this afternoon!” – Homer Simpson

The internet was still digesting the fact that Homer and Marge are not getting divorced for part of this week as the news slowly filtered down to small town paper blogs and other low traffic sites that aren’t very swift on the uptake.  We do have a couple of links from people taking the story as a starting point to advocate for the show finally being sent to a farm upstate, however, so it’s not all bad.  In addition to that, we’ve got Castellaneta singing, fan art, fan food, several lists, the staff doing something nice, and a new podcast.

Enjoy.

17 ‘Simpsons’ Cultural References Explained for Younger Viewers – Great list (no Zombie Simpsons), and I learned to Lupe Velez was.  (via @DailySimpsons)

▶ Two Lips (Dan Castellaneta) : Dog Who’s Chasing After A Ball – Reader Adam S. writes in:

did you know Dan Castellaneta released a very excellent Beatles – sounding album under the name of ‘Two Lips’ a few years back?

I did not know that.  Sample is above, full album link is here.  Castellaneta is a true renaissance man, and I say that not even knowing how many different types of meat he’s eaten today.  Thanks, Adam!

Is it time for The Simpsons to end? – Yes, it is.  This goes into more detail than that. (Again, via @DailySimpsons)

Top Ten Simpsons Episodes – Part One – An excellent half a list, with no Zombie Simpsons and “Homer the Vigilante”, which I don’t often see on top ten lists.

Five Times ‘The Simpsons’ got to Real for Us – There’s one Zombie Simpsons on here, but the rest are excellent choices, especially “The Way We Was”.

Jurassic World…In 10 Words – Saw this on Wednesday.  It’s better than the other sequels, but nobody’s going to care about it in twenty-two years, either.

WATCH: The Top 10 Treehouse Of Horror Segments – According to two Australian guys.  One item from Zombie Simpsons, but it’s not terrible or anything.  These guys also have some podcasts discussing old episodes.

Faberge Egg Salad – Some real recipes from the show, courtesy of our new friends at Xtapolapometal.

Photo Gallery Of The Simpsons Characters Re-Voiced Sans Harry Shearer – Don Draper would be an excellent Reverend Lovejoy.

10 business lessons from The Simpsons – Reader Robert sends in this YouTube heavy list of business tips he wrote.  I particularly like #2, “Don’t break the law”.  Heh.  Thanks, Robert!

I’m not commodity – A real life recounting of the “Lawyer Bird” test.

You Can Now Play Video Games Featured On ‘The Simpsons – I downloaded but have not actually tried these yet.

10 times Marge and Homer Simpson weren’t exactly winning any parenting awards – A little bit of Zombie Simpsons here, but there’s some good YouTube and a .gif of Homer running gleefully around the overturned beer truck.

Round 1, Battle 26 – (S.1 Ep 3) Homer’s Odyssey vs. (S.6 Ep. 20) Two Dozen and One Greyhounds – Season 1 is probably doomed here, but both of those are great.

Fish weirs, Doctor Who and Fort Knox – things you didn’t know about Magna Carta – But I did know this one!:

4 – Lisa Simpson sang a song about Magna Carta in episode 187 of The Simpsons cartoon series.

US Outlook: Set banks free to stop another crisis? A successful man can be stupid too – Moderate usage:

There is an old episode of The Simpsons in which Homer is falsely accused of sexual harassment after reaching for a gummy bear that is stuck to a lady’s backside. At the end of the episode, Marge asks Homer what he has learnt from his experience. Homer replies: “Marge, I haven’t learnt a thing.”

Homer actually says, “Marge, my friend, I haven’t learned a thing”, but that’s pretty close.

Car dealer and Rotary team to distribute Little Free Libraries – This was nice:

On Monday, the Little Free Library headquarters in the town of Hudson received a Little Library designed and painted by the artists of “The Simpsons” television show.

“It’s got all the Simpsons characters on it — Bart and Lisa — and is signed by Matt Groening,” Bol reported.

“He’s a friend of ours,” Bol said of Groening, the creator of “The Simpsons.”

The show’s artists made the library for Bol to use to raise money for the Little Free Library organization.

Homer Simpson on Temperament – Heh.

10 | Texts From A Stoner – Heh again.

Geek Art for the masses – The Van Gough Willie painting is on here, along with some other very good ones.

The Simpsons House – Not sure who the original artist is here, but this is pretty good.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons homer simpson… – Precious Venus…

TV Pick of the Day – You could do a lot worse than “Lisa the Iconoclast”.

The Simpsons – “Kill the Alligator and Run” – Like this one, which the author has the good sense to pick apart.

The Anti-Love Story of Homer and Marge – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us, in this case in a long essay about the hopelessness of the ever continuing Zombie Simpsons.