Posts Tagged ‘And Maggie Makes Three


Quote of the Day

“The next few weeks at my dream job were like a wonderful waking coma.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Marge . . . ” – Homer Simpson
“Homer . . . ” – Marge Simpson
“I’ve got sand in my underpants.” – Homer Simpson
“Me too. Let’s go home.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

‘Bowling! Bowling, here! Come bowl now! Get your bowling! Who’s ready? Bowling!” – Homer Simpson
“Mom, make Dad tell the story right.” – Lisa Simpson
“That’s what really happened.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

“It was a tumultuous time for a nation! The clear beverage craze gave us all a reason to live. The information superhighway showed the average person what some nerd thinks about Star Trek. And the domestication of the dog continued unabated.” – Homer Siumpson


Quote of the Day

“This is incredible. It’s God’s most wondrous miracle.” – Mayor Quimby
“Sir, I think your wife wants to hold the baby.” – Nurse
“My wife? Where? Where!” – Mayor Quimby


Quote of the Day

“I was in Heaven. If horse racing is the sport of kings, then surely bowling is . . . a very good sport, as well.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“We now return to Knight Boat, the crime solving boat.” – TV Announcer
“Faster, Knight Boat! We gotta catch those starfish poachers!” – Not David Hasselhoff
“You don’t have to yell, Michael. I’m all around you.” – Knight Boat


Quote of the Day

“So, come crawling back, eh?” – C.M. Burns
“Seems like the classy thing to do would be not to call attention to it.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three20

“That new baby in your mother’s womb was a ticking time bomb threatening to blow this family eight ways from Sunday! . . . Hey, where are you going?” – Homer Simpson
“Dad, you can’t expect a person to sit for thirty minutes straight.” – Bart Simpson
“I’m gonna get a snack and maybe go to the bathroom.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three19

“You’re a pin monkey?  Wow!  Finally I don’t have to be ashamed of my father’s job.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three18

“Hey, Uncle Al, can Homer have a job?” – Barney Gumble
“Sure.” – Uncle Al
“Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson
“Barney, you’re fired.” – Uncle Al
“Okay.” – Barney Gumble


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three17

“So, in a few months, both of you will have a brand new brother or sister.” – Marge Simpson
“Been there, done that.” – Bart Simpson
“I hope it’s a girl.” – Lisa Simpson
“You know nothing about genetics, Lis.  It goes boy-girl, boy-girl.” – Bart Simpson


Behind Us Forever: The Kids Are All Fight

And Maggie Makes Three15

“It all began about two years ago before Maggie was even born.  Bart, you were Lisa’s age, and Lisa, you were the age Bart was several years ago.” – Homer Simpson

As it has doddered along these last few years, Zombie Simpsons has started to turn to flash forward episodes a bit more often where Bart and Lisa are adults with kids of their own.  For “The Kids Are All Fight”, they went the other way, going backwards to some indeterminate time a few years ago when Bart was four and Lisa was two.  The story, which was even more incoherent than usual, involved little Bart and Lisa escaping the house and going on a wacky adventure that consisted of a series of disconnected scenes.

– And we are off to a poor start with Moe telling us out loud that he doesn’t know how to work his cash register.

– Homer found an old roll of film in his jacket, and then Carl appeared out of nowhere to tell Homer that he can’t get film developed anymore.

– It’s okay, now they’re developing it in the bar, which leads to the whole family being at Moe’s, where the expository dialogue flows like water.

– After a brief montage showing old pictures of Bart and Lisa fighting, we get one of those adorable in-episode retcons so Marge can scold Homer for not stepping in while he took the photos.

– As an example of why this show can’t write a decent joke anymore, I present their attempt to make fun of the Planet of The Apes movies, in its bloated entirety:

Marge:  Well, it’s quite a story, a story of a special bond between a brother and a sister.
Bart:  I’d say our story’s a tragedy, like the Planet of the Apes.  The tragedy being they can never stop making them!
Marge:  Hey, come on, the first and eighth movies were pretty darn good.

It has nothing to do with what’s going on, involves Bart speaking two sentences, one of which is an explanation of the other, and then Marge finally getting to a punchline that is itself buried in the middle of another overly long sentence.  Whether or not you think that’s funny is up to you, but that mass of words never would’ve made it past the first draft of an actual Simpsons script.

– Flashback Bart and Lisa are now clubbing each other with books while Marge looks on helplessly.

– Oops, we’re back at Moe’s in the present now, where the family describes a time they went to Kwik-E-Mart.  Mmm, tell don’t show.

– Yet another example of how messy these scripts are: after once again telling us (for about the sixth time in three minutes) that Bart and Lisa were always fighting, Marge says, “That’s why we never developed that roll.”  Not only is this line completely unnecessary (the scene ends right after it) but it contradicts the fact that we just saw Homer pull this forgotten roll from his suit.  I don’t care about inter-episode continuity, and I recognize that intra-episode continuity is too much for Zombie Simpsons, but these two things didn’t even have a commercial break in between them.

– And we’re back in the past, where Bart is in the clown bed.

– They just went to slow motion and played Also Sprach Zarathustra while Homer went in to strangle Bart.  Was that supposed to be the first time that happened?  Who knows?  They had Bart smash a lamp over Homer’s head right after.  Hey, ate some time at least, right?

– Guh, this is bad:

Marge: Homer, I just the worst dream.  I lost one of the kids at the World’s Fair.
Homer:  It’s okay, which one?
Marge: Brisbane, ’88.
Homer:  Oh, that’s so horrible, baby!
Marge:  I know.  I know.

Again, you have one punchline (and not a particularly strong one, if you ask me) buried amid line after line of setup and whatever it is you call it when your joke goes on for two more lines after your weak punchline.

– Now they’re at the expository counselor’s office.

– Hey, Grandma Flanders is back, only now she’s less senile and her voice is less scratchy.  Is stuff like this and the clown bed supposed to be fan service or is it just filler?

– Now she’s babysitting and screaming.  So . . . filler.

– And speaking of filler, Marge and Homer are apparently getting dressed for brunch (and having an expository conversation about what they’re doing, Marge even informed us when she zipped up her dress).  Keep in mind they’re showing us this after the scene where Grandma Flanders looked to have been babysitting for quite some time already.  Did they put these in the episode in the wrong order, or did nobody care?

– And now Grandma Flanders is dead.  So . . . definitely filler.

– Homer and Marge stayed home to screw, so, naturally, Homer had to recap what we just saw, “My favorite kind of weekend morning, a sexy snuggle while our rotten kids are someone else’s problem.”  Homer then cackles maniacally for 10-15 seconds.

– Now Bart is riding through traffic on a big wheeler.  Jebus, I’m bored.

– Aaaaand we’re back to hopping around in the story.  Apparently, Homer and Marge did go to brunch, and now they’ve discovered that Bart and Lisa are gone.  This is chronologically confusing and sloppy even by student film standards.

– Apparently, Gil is being hired by Wiggum now.  There is yelling.

– Bart was arguing with the bullies, but then Lisa showed up even after we saw Bart drive away in front of another car.  Oof, this is a mess, none of these scenes go together at all.

– I’m zoning out now.  Bart and Lisa are at the retirement home.

– Homer just shot a pizza.  Then there was exposition.

– More random scenes are happening.  I’m done.

– And we end on a weirdly out of place Seinfeld musical beat while Hibbert talks to the Flandereses, which is itself ended by Lisa, back in the present, saying, “You’ve had three natural endings already.”  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they know these episodes are slapdash and pathetic, they just don’t care.

Anyway, the numbers are in and they remain at historic lows.   On Sunday, just 3.30 million viewers wished they were watching “Lisa’s First Word”.  That is up ever so slightly from last week’s 3.23, but still good for #6 on the all time least watched list.  There are three episodes to go, and barring a major surge in viewership, Season 26 is going to easily eclipse Season 25’s record as the least watched ever.


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three14

“I’ll stay here, but I’m gonna think about products I might like to purchase.  Ooh . . . Mmm . . . Ooh, I don’t have that.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three13

“Homer, did you polish your head in the Shine-O-Ball-O?” – Al
“No.” – Homer Simpson
“Okay, then.” – Al


Bea, What Was Birth Like?

New Bea

“Homey, I think someone is saying hello.” – Marge Simpson

Mad Jon’s lovely and talented Mrs. gave birth to a bouncing, baby Beatrice this morning.  This is what he texted me:

“It’s a boy!  And what a boy!”

Mother and daughter are both doing well, and I also have an artist’s rendition of Jon right now:

And Maggie Makes Three12

Congratulations, parents.  You gave your little girl the worst possible birthday.  Merry Christmas.


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three11

“Back then, there was no way for me to know your mother was pregnant. . . . Marge!  You tie up the bathroom every morning, I’ve gotta wash my hair!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

And Maggie Makes Three10

“Show up tomorrow; bring three rags.  Oh, and change your pants.” – Uncle Al
“Why?” – Homer Simpson
“When it happens, you’ll know.” – Uncle Al


Quote of the Day

Fix You, Miss You

“With my bills paid off I can finally quit this lousy job!” – Homer Simpson
“But, Homer, how are you going to make a living?” – Lenny
“Don’t worry about Homer J., I’ve got a plan . . . a plan that’ll fix you good.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, what did we do?” – Carl
“Sorry, that just slipped out.  I’ll miss you.” – Homer Simpson


Reading Digest: ‘And Maggie Makes Three’ Echoes Through the Ages Edition

And Maggie Makes Three9

“Thanks for giving me my old job back.” – Homer Simpson
“I’m afraid it’s not that simple.  As punishment for your desertion, it’s company policy to give you the plague.” – C.M. Burns
“Uh, sir, that’s the plaque.” – Mr. Smithers
“Ah, yes, the special de-motivational plaque, to break what’s left of your spirit.  Because, you see, you’re here forever. . . . Don’t forget, you’re here forever.” – C.M. Burns

This week we’ve got two fans, one brand new, one an old veteran, who agree that “And Maggie Makes Three” is as good as anything can possibly be.  They’ll get no arguments from me, and to make the whole thing even sweeter, there’s also a guy who’s just getting his own daughter into The Simpsons.  (Awww.)  There’s also some excellent usage, two comparisons of the show to Family Guy ( one low brow, the other high), a sad TV openings entry, and Zombie Simpsons showing how little they pay attention to detail last Sunday. 

The Best Bootleg Bart Simpson Shirts – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this collection of old Bart shirts.  There are some great ones here, including a few I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.  The MC Hammer one is especially early 90s.

Top Five Simpsons Episodes – This is a great list with no Zombie Simpsons, but it’s made even better by the fact that it’s a father introducing his daughter to the show and there’s a picture of his splendid Flanders Halloween costume from last year.  Excellent.

Do it for her – A Simpsons newbie falls for “And Maggie Makes Three”.

Why ‘The Simpsons’ is the Greatest TV Show Ever – The beauty of this is that is makes its point without even writing a word.  That’s how good the ending of “And Maggie Makes Three” is. 

"Across the UM System" – During the poker montage in “Gone Abie Gone”, Lisa pulled on a sweatshirt for “University of Missouri at Rolla”, but it turns out that isn’t the school’s name:

Lisa Simpson must have gotten her sweatshirt at a second-hand shop because it still shows the school as being the University of Missouri at Rolla.

The writers of The Simpsons, no doubt, do their homework before creating the show, so it’s interesting that they opted to use the former name. Maybe they didn’t think a national audience would recognize the Missouri S&T name?

I don’t think thought entered into it, and I assure you, “homework” isn’t something they do anymore.

Universal Studios Florida – The Simpsons Ride at the Universal theme park in Florida may be getting expanded:

New rumors about the Simpsons themed land are now growing in size and scope. The latest word around the park is that not only will we see a new Krusty Burger and Moe’s Tavern, there may also be a Kentucky Fried Panda (Finger Ling-Ling Good!) and possibly even a mini Duff Brewery bar set up on the lagoon edge.
    The Simpsons expansion wont be limited to new restaurants either, as I’m told that we may also see other classic icons and building facades put in for Lard Lad donuts, the Comic Book Guy’s shop, and even some kind of new flat ride that may be themed to the aliens: Kang and Kodos placed near the bridge on the MIB side of the Simpsons ride building. I doubt Universal would install one of these, but a Gravitron could be perfectly themed to Kang & Kodos don’t you think?


bart simpson – If you’re going to get a Bart Simpson tattoo on the side of your ass, that’s a pretty good one.

After nipple slip, Rita Ora plays it safe in tum-flashing crop top – There is also a photo of her wearing a Bart Simpson jacket.  Cool.

Things I learnt from CosmoCosmo is indeed awful, and this guide to why is chalk full of Simpsons:

I have decided to convey what I learnt from this month’s Cosmo in the form of Simpsons analogies. Why would you do that?, you ask. A good question. The answer: there is basically a Simpsons example for any argument or topic you want to discuss. And The Simpsons (series 2 – 10) is pretty much the best thing and Cosmo is pretty much the worst.

Well done. 

Rage Across Springfield, Preliminary – I will freely admit that I don’t get this, but some of you might:

For anyone who hasn’t played Werewolf: The Apocalypse, this isn’t going to make much sense. If you have, here is the work in progress.

Mr. Burns is the Pentex Executive in charge of a Nuclear Power Plant under Endron International that spills its radiation out to Gaia, though the men of Ardus Enterprises would beg to differ. Mutating the animals and people in the city. He controls his ‘hounds’, which are a pack of Black Spiral Dancers.

Hi! I’m Troy McClure! – Great YouTube video of McClure clips.  Also the blog is titled “Man Versus Nature: The Road to Victory”.  Heh.

The Spice Draw – Excellent usage:

This last line of this scene from an episode of the Simpsons is one I use a lot. I find it useful when describing those moments in life when you realise how fundamentally different from someone  you can be.

Marge: So… you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
Homer: I don’t think I have a choice, Marge.
Marge: Of course you have a choice.
Homer: How do you figure?
Marge: You don’t have to join a freak show just because the opportunity came along.
Homer: You know, Marge, in some ways, you and I are very different people.

I have these moments with my husband often, particularly when he wants to explain things like ‘how the moon works’ to me.


Family Fight: Simpsons vs. Griffins – Who would win in a fist fight?  A detailed imagining.

Postmodernism And American Animation – A long, academic analysis of The Simpsons and Family Guy.

Duff McKagan Regrets Not Receiving Royalties from ‘The Simpsons’ Beverage Duff Beer – The Duff beer was named after Duff McKagan thing was making the rounds again this week.  Just a reminder, this isn’t something that’s been the least bit confirmed and seems more than likely not to be true quite the way Duff remembers it.

The Bachelor Panel: Week 7, Take 3 — What to make of this girl-on-girl hate? – Excellent usage:

Grampa Simpson once compared watching “one of those TV shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes” to being in a coma. Nineteen years later, that joke has fresh perspective. I’m going to guess this week’s installment is injected into the Bachelor season  because everyone needs a little closure, and what better way to do that than have everyone air their grievances all over again on a stage of precarious chairs? It was like a weird kind of Bachelor Festivus where the only feat of strength is whether you can manage to sit through the whole hour.

Perfectly quoted and very apt.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2…In 10 Words – We’re not saying the people behind this are inhuman monsters like the wolfman, but they very well could be.

Disney Buying Star Wars…In 10 Words – Episode VII is intriguing, but all I want to know is if they’re finally going to release the original movies on Blu Ray. 

Homeland…In 10 Words – Remember those self hypnosis classes we took to help us ignore Grampa?

Skyfall…In 10 Words – Yes, yes, that wasn’t so bad.

sickeningly sweet Simpsons goth daisy crop top – Recycled Simpsons fabric (I’m guessing sheets, but who knows?) used for a shirt.  (via)

Official “The Simpsons” USB Flash Drives Launched – If the picture is anything to go by, looks like Maggie got passed over.

Funny Commercials – Church’s Chicken – The Simpsons – ‘Picnic’ / ‘Piggy-Bank’ – YouTube of a couple commercials the show did in the late 1990s.

The Night Phil Hartman Died…. – This is mostly just information from the Wikipedia article, but it does contain this:

For those not in the know, “further altercation over the issue” translates into Jon Lovitz beating the everlasting shit out of Andy Dick. According to Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada:

    Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose

Oh man, I’d pay to see that.

Whenever someone tells me an “awesome” story – Animated .gif of Homer’s reaction to Flanders jury duty story.

There’s only one Lisa Simpson – Animated. gif of Lisa’s lizard queen declaration.

Top 5 Pop-Culture Toasters – Yup, toasters.  Good list.

The 10 Best TV Show Title Sequences – Sadly the show comes in at a lowly #5, and they used the new opening instead of the one that’s actually good.  As we all know, the new one doesn’t hold a pixel to the old one.

pastelization – Scroll way down for a picture of a very old commemorative plate the show put out.

The Simpsons: Still funny, but just not as sweet… – And finally, someone who kinda agrees with us:

…or maybe I’m just becoming a grumpy old bitch

No, you’ve got it right.


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