Posts Tagged ‘Bart vs. Australia


Quote of the Day

“Look, boy, now I’m in Australia! Now I’m in America! Australia! America! Australia! America!” – Homer Simpson
“I get it, Dad.” – Bart Simpson
“Australia! America! Australia! America!” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, that’s enough.” – Marge Simpson
“Australia! America!” – Homer Simpson
“Here in America we don’t tolerate that kind of crap, sir!” – Embassy Marine


Quote of the Day

“Hey, Bart, the bakery caught fire and all of downtown smells like cookies. Wanna go smell?” – Milhouse van Houten
“Yes. Yes, I do.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

“That’s it! I’m gonna report this to me member of Parliament! Hey, Gus! I got something to report to ya!” – Bruno Drundridge
“That’s a bloody outrage it is! I’m gonna take this all the way to the Prime Minister! . . . Hey, Mister Prime Minister! . . . Andy!” – Gus, MP
“Hey, mates, what’s the good word?” – Andy, PM


Quote of the Day

“As I’m sure you remember, in the late 1980s, the U.S. experienced a short-lived infatuation with Australian culture. For some bizarre reason, the Aussies thought this would be a permanent thing. Of course, it wasn’t.” – Evan Conover
“I know those words, but that sign makes no sense.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Hello, Southern Hemisphere? Which way does the water go in your toilet?” – Bart Simpson
“Just a minute, I’ll check.” – Older Polar Researcher
“Ah, nuts.” – Younger Polar Researcher


Quote of the Day

“Bart, water will only go the other way in the Southern Hemisphere.” – Lisa Simpson
“What the hell is the Southern Hemisphere?” – Bart Simpson
“Haven’t you ever looked at your globe?” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Oh, no, it’s coming back this way!” – Australian Judge
“That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us!” – Australian Cop


Quote of the Day


“When will you Australians learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better! The streets are safe! Old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys! And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Australia was originally founded as a settlement for British convicts. . . . Lisa, watch your camera.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Oopsie! Let’s pretend we didn’t see that.” – Evan Conover


Quote of the Day

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“Oh, yeah, this is the life!  Boy, next summer can you commit some fraud in Orlando, Florida?” – Homer Simpson
“I’m way ahead of you, Dad.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

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“It’s too late to merely pay back the money, but as a sign of good faith to our Australian friends, we’d like to imprison Bart for five years.” – Evan Conover
“That’s tough but fair.  Boy, go with the man.” – Homer Simpson
“No, no, no!” – Marge Simpson


Reading Digest: Google Translate Edition


“Please to repeat again, and I will translating for the El Presidente.” – Aide
“Which way does the water turn in your toilet?” – Bart Simpson
“He says the tide is turning!” – Aide
“!Ay Caramba!  Then the rebels will soon take the Capital!” – El Presidente 

We’ve got two posts this week brought to you by the algorithmic magic of Google Translate, one a discussion of censorship in France, the other a Swede who agrees with us.  (All hail Google and its glorious new regime!)  Other than that it’s a bit short this week, partly because it’s getting toward Christmas, and partly because WordPress had another little tag problem and would only load about half of the Simpsons tagged posts since last week.  We do have some more fan art, real life lion cubs, Sam Simon getting honored again, and some other people who marked Simpsons Day.


Dead Bart – A mixture of screen grabs and mostly fan made art with “Dead Bart” as the theme.  Some of them are quite creepy and good.

The Simpsons! – Instructions on making your own Simpsons nail art, with pictures.  Cool.

Marcia Karen Wallace’s Tribute – I didn’t catch this last Sunday, but it does serve to further confirm that the opening is the best thing they do (“best” being quite relative, of course).

Photos: Moleskine unveils new ‘Simpsons’ notebooks – Sir, have we made enough Simpsons merchandise yet?  Never!

December 17th 1989: The Simpsons debuts – See?  Lots of people celebrate Simpsons Day.

In Which I Make A Few More Predictions (TV Edition) – A better than average prediction:

Ohhhh boy! What can you say about a TV show that’s been on the air for nearly 25 years? How about “when’s it gonna end”? So, with that in mind I give The Simpsons at least 8 1/3 years and at most 18.

Now that I’m on the record, time will only tell.

Why You Little… – I assume one of these isn’t actually from the show, but since I think a couple are from Zombie Simpsons, I’m not sure which.

Op-Ed: Can modern media keep out of the toilet? Apparently not – A guy in Australia complaining about “toilet scenes” in movies and teevee cites “Bart vs. Australia” as an example of one he likes:

Even on genuinely funny shows like The Simpsons, the toilet, somehow, has become a magnet for comedy. At least The Simpsons managed to make the toilet jokes funny. Bart is introduced to the Coriolis Effect, rings Australia to find out which way the water flushes, and goes to Australia to apologize after creating a diplomatic incident. (We haven’t forgotten, Simpson…)

Simon Singh Presents ‘The Simpsons and Their Mathematical Secrets’ – The New York Times finally got around to mentioning the new book.  It must be news now.

Reasonable Doubt: Bart Simpson, child litigant – Using “Bart Gets Hit By a Car” to discuss the legal rights of children in Canada.  Also, they misidentified one of Springfield’s busybodies:

Any Simpsons fan will recall the late Maude Flanders’s common plea: “Won’t someone please think of the children?!”

Family Guy aims to take on The Simpsons: Tapped Out with similar free-to-play iOS and Android game – Well, anything you can do with the Simpsons franchise, you can do dumber and later with the Family Guy one.

Should Lion Cubs’ Names Come From ‘Star Wars,’ ‘The Simpsons’ or Shakespeare? – A zoo in Maryland is thinking about naming some lion cubs Bart and Maggie.

14 Ralph Wiggum Moments to Make You Feel Smart – Mostly animated .gifs, with a few from Zombie Simpsons.

Here comes Santa Claus … – The Christmas parade in Show Low, Arizona had an inflatable Homer as Santa riding a pickup truck and driving electric reindeer.  There’s a picture at the link and it is just as epic as it sounds.

If you write just one fan letter – Nancy Cartwright gets to her fan mail much quicker than Ringo Starr.

Round 95: Girly Edition vs. Treehouse of Horror VII – Only two entrants in the tournament section this week.  Damn waffle iron.

THE BEST EPISODE THINGY THERE EVER WAS Round 1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire VS Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? – Tough choice:

Two strong episodes. Classics really. “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” is probably the funnier of the two, but “Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire” is the more integral of the two in terms of Simpsons history. Maybe it’s the Eggnog talking, or just because it’s that time of year, but if I could only ever watch one again for the rest of my life I’d go with “Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire.”

Whoo-hoo! Homer for the Holidays – From the same guy who brought us Bart sledding last week comes Santa Homer in the snow.

“Oooh, so Mothe… – Heh.

You know, boys,… – Heh, again.

10 raisons (supplémentaires) de zapper la VF… – Google Translate is an amazing thing, but it still has to be taken with a grain of salt.  But I guess Duff got censored in France:

Simpson also had the right to their censorship in France. Indeed, the brand of beer “Duff” became floutter W9 and Canal +. And yes, it is forbidden to advertise a brand of alcohol on television in France.

‘The Simpsons’ Sam Simon Tapped for Writers Guild Honor – No idea if Simon cares or not, but I suppose this is nice of them:

The Writers Guild of America West has named “The Simpsons” co-developer Sam Simon as its 2014 Valentine Davies Award honoree in recognition of his humanitarian efforts and community service on behalf of writers.

It’s the second WGA honor for Simon in recent weeks. He received the WGA West’s Animation Writers Caucus animation writing award earlier this month as a lifetime achievement honor recognizing his contributions to the craft of animation writing.

The Return of/My Return to Community – I know this feeling (both of them, actually):

I watched a lot of TV as a kid, and part of my thinking was that if I missed something, it might never be shown again.  I didn’t want to miss anything.  It’s easier to let go now in the knowledge that YouTube, Netflix, or a DVD set will allow me to catch up down the road.  I think The Simpsons is the first show that stopped being “appointment television” for me; the decline in quality around 2000 was part of it, but I also knew the episodes I missed wouldn’t disappear into the ether like so much of the stuff I watched as a kid.

I stayed up way late to watch the last few episodes of the Johnny Carson tonight show because I loved the theme song and thought I’d never get to hear it again.  Well, it was still cool to stay up late.

Homer Simpson gets a new friend – I have no idea who actually writes the Tapped Out updates, but while they aren’t going to be quoted or win any prizes, they do tend to be funnier than Zombie Simpsons:

What I loved about the game is the humour. The writers did a great job!!

Comedy tonight! – A top ten list of comedy episodes includes “Kamp Krusty” and “A Streetcar Named Marge”

Monday Inspiration – Someone who agrees with us:

I wish The Simpsons were as funny as they used to be while I was growing up. These t-shirts, though, make me love ‘em all over again.

We all wish that.

Simpson och konceptet “overstaying your welcome” – And finally, I get to end the way I like, not only with someone who agrees with us, but with someone from Sweden who agrees with us (per Google Translate):

6an sends Simpsons whole damn time – we all know it. In our home, we gave up on Simpson somewhere in season 20. Now I’ve seen a few episodes from recent seasons, such as season 24 (above). It’s such a disappointment, why can not they just give up? Let us rest in the memory of an incredibly fun and trendsetting series! This is well iofs too late now because the whole series has been denigrated by how lousy it has been in recent years.
I’m sorry, Simspsons, “but you are dead to me now.”

Let us rest in the memory.


Behind Us Forever: Pulpit Friction

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“Hey, look, those frogs are eating all their crops!” – Homer Simpson

  • Marge has to yell in church to get everyone to sit down, and meanwhile Lovejoy was just standing at the pulpit waiting patiently?  I know they don’t care about this stuff, but it really destroys scenes. 
  • And the new guy is also just standing there before he starts describing Lovejoy for no reason. 
  • Color me surprised, they remembered the bed bug thing for one brief scene after the first segment.  Usually they just drop it all together.
  • And Homer electrocutes himself because of course he does.
  • Why is Lovejoy playing the guitar?
  • And why is Homer on stage without Lovejoy knowing?
  • Montage!
  • Is that it for the wedding dress subplot?  That was thin even for them.
  • Homer singing his deacon song was extremely pointless. 
  • Lovejoy’s got a new job that we didn’t see and we’re supposed to care about this?
  • “First we got every dead bedbug in town” – Thanks exposition fairy!
  • Was that drunk Barney in the Frogger game after sober Barney was in church?  Video review says that yes it was. 
  • And the new reverend is back after disappearing for a while because he’s not a real character.
  • And now Lovejoy back for no reason and has gained the ability to subdue amphibians. 
  • That was certainly a necessary Lunchlady Doris appearance. 

Zombie Simpsons may have lost the capacity to surprise long ago, but having a bunch of frogs come streaming out of the swamp to humiliate a one-dimensional character for some reason is still pretty weird, even for them.  (Not popped-eyeball weird, but pretty weird.)  The rest of the episode was just as much of a mess, and I have no idea what was with that wedding dress subplot about Lisa not wanting to get married.  Was that pasted in from another script?  Homer and Marge’s wedding/past has been retconned a lot, but they usually don’t do so unless they’re going to spend more then forty-seconds of screen time on it. 

It’s also worth noting the sheer number of things that were repeated from previous episodes: Lovejoy feeling displaced, froggie apocalypse, the Simpsons getting a new couch, taking prank inspiration from Biblical plagues, the list goes on.  Zombie Simpsons may have run out of original ideas many years ago, but they’re usually more economical with their copying. 

Anyway, the ratings are in and they are bad again.  Just 4.48 million people wondered why there were suddenly all those frogs.  That puts it sixth on the all time least watched list, which is now dominated by episodes from Season 23 and 24. 

Sometime later this year FOX is going to have to make a call on renewing the show again, and while the numbers they’ll use will be a lot more involved than just the overnights that I track (and the 18-49 numbers continue to be more solid than the overall ones), there’s no getting around the fact that the ratings are down significantly, even from just two years ago.


Reading Digest: Australian Sports Edition

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“You call that a knife?  This is a knife.” – Not Paul Hogan
“That’s not a knife, that’s a spoon.” – Bart Simpson
“Alright, alright, you win.  I see you’ve played knifey-spoony before.” – Not Paul Hogan

This week we’ve got two links to the Australian sporting scene, one a commentary and one about an Australian rules football player whose name is Grimes.  And yes, his teammates call him exactly what you think they’d call him.  In addition to that we’ve got an excellent piece of (officially sanctioned) fan art, lots of excellent usage (including a teacher using the Simpsons against the students for a change), TV Guide, and two items about Connecticut, though I’m not even sure why they bothered to show up.


Exclusive: Dave Perillo’s ‘Dancing Homer’ Poster From ‘The Simpsons’ – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is the first in what is apparently going to be a series of officially licensed Simpsons posters.  They’re limiting it to only 250 copies, so it’s another way to squeeze money out of collectors, but that doesn’t make it any less cool.  This is interesting as well:

/Film: The world of The Simpsons is so vast and expansive. Was Dancing Homer your first choice and what is it about the episode that sticks with you?

Dave Perillo: Had to do Homer J. Simpson first, he’s the patriarch of the family and really the most important character of the series. I thought it would be great to represent him as one of his most memorable personas, “Dancin’ Homer”. It was one of the best episodes of “The Simpsons” and really showed the epic success/fame to the ultimate flop of Homer which ends up being a recurring theme throughout the series.

As the series goes on, I’ll be curious to see what the Simpsons:Zombie Simpsons ratio is. 

To do today: Submit ‘Simpsons’ trivia – Speaking of unusually clever merchandising:

Here’s a cool opportunity for fans of The Simpsons: The folks at Cardinal Games are creating a Simpsons trivia game, and they’re soliciting questions from fans.

A whopping 300 fans will be chosen for the game and have their names on the cards! Come up with a good question and submit it at before April 19. If you’re picked, you’ll get a free copy of the game. If you aren’t, the company may consider you for a future edition.

The game comes out in September.

Again, the most interesting thing here is the ratio of Simpsons:Zombie Simpsons stuff, but I can always make my own trivia game, with hookers and blackjack! 

A 10 Word Tribute to Roger Ebert – Gonna watch the Critic episode with him and Siskel tonight.  Both of them nail some great jokes in that one, like Ebert’s “Our next movie features Sylvester and Frank Stallone in ‘Yo, Godot, I’m Waitin’ Here’.”. 

Pont’s Comics: Teaser – Stacks of old comic books from . . . twenty years ago(!) might get the county to take your kids away, but also sounds fun:

I have recently been given access to a motley assortment of comics from many different publishers ranging from the late eighties to the early ninetines (more than twenty years ago now, wtf?). I just finished cataloging them, so I’m very pleased to announce my spring comics reading list!

This collection includes some “vintage simpsons illustrated”, and I’ll be curious to see what’s in them.

Groundskeeper Willie – Wow, I did not know this:

It was difficult to recreate all the features of this character in the Italian version of the show: in fact, the translators had to recreate Willie’s solitary and aggressive nature, which in the U.S. version correspond to the stereotype of Scottish people. “The fundamental difficulty that the Italian translator and dialogue writer encountered was the fact that the Scottish stereotype in Italy does not correspond to the characteristics that Willie presents.” In fact, Italians think that the Scottish people are red-headed, avid people who drink a lot; therefore, the Italian stereotype cannot correspond to Willie’s nature and his constant reference to rural childhood. The solution adopted by the translators was drastic: they completely changed Willie’s country of origin. In the Italian version, in fact, he comes from Italy or, more precisely, from Sardinia!

The post itself is full of the little absurdities this creates (the kilt becomes a skirt).  Worth a click.

top 10: Simpsons Episodes: 10 -Lisa’s First Word – A countdown begins with a detailed look at “Lisa’s First Word”, including a YouTube video of “can’t sleep, clown’ll eat me” on a loop.  Carl Lewis, I could kiss you.

“Stop Grabbing the Electric Cupcake” – Excellent, real world usage:

An analogy I came up with last week to help enlighten my students, far too many of whom have tried to slide by, giving the minimal amount of effort they could and still pass the class, and who (shockingly!) failed my class for the last grading period:


Lisa notes in her journal that the hamster has learned a lesson.

Then she puts a cupcake in the kitchen, and likewise puts an electrified wire in the back.  Bart comes by and grabs for the cupcake.  It zaps him but, unlike the hamster, Bart does not learn his lesson.  He keeps grabbing the cupcake, and keeps getting zapped.  He’s immediately addicted to a pointless cycle of self-destruction.


Now, when I see students slacking off, or otherwise doing things that will hurt their chances for success, I tell them, “Stop grabbing the electric cupcake.”  They’re already sick of it.

Heh.  Well done. 

Cuts – Indeed:

I coach a girl’s soccer team. Its time to make cuts. The girls who smiled at me yesterday won’t make eye contact tomorrow. You always break someone’s heart. But you can’t have a team without reducing numbers. I love the Simpson’s take on it. It is so callous and the opposite of how you feel.

Comes with shakycam YouTube of Homer making his cuts.

Jobs that pay big money, no college degree required – Shame on you, ABC:

Does Homer Simpson hold a four-year college degree? And is that what qualifies him to run Springfield’s nuclear reactor? "The Simpsons" doesn’t say. But in the real world you don’t need a B.A. to run a nuclear reactor, work as an air traffic controller or registered nurse, manage a construction site or hold down dozens of other good-paying jobs.

Homer got his job because he broke into Burns’ office and promised to be the kind of employee who takes abuse and never stands up for himself.  I thought everybody knew that.

Dag 058 – Awesome Moe’s t-shirt. 

Hulu Does Something Actually Useful for April Fool’s: Itchy & Scratchy Videos Are Live – It’s just a Hulu video of the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon from “Krusty Gets Busted”, but what’s not to love? 

TV Guide Magazine Celebrates 60th Anniversary With Mosaic Covers Featuring ‘I Love Lucy,’ ‘Lost’ And More – Apparently TV Guide is still a printed magazine, and they have composite covers for all of their decades.  They’ve got Cosby for the 80s, The Simpsons for the 90s, and . . . Star Trek for the 60s?  They do know that nobody watched it and it got cancelled quickly, right?  Anyway, the images are pretty cool, even if calling them “Special Collector’s Issues” seems like wishful thinking. 

Bracket of the Week: The 2013 TV Sitcom Sweet Sixteen Part Two, The Elite 8 – Tis the time of the year for fake brackets on-line, though this one comes with a creative twist.  Instead of just pitting shows against one another, it pits the fictional universities of shows against one another.  Springfield U has beaten schools from 3rd Rock from the Sun and Boy Meets World and is now head to head with “California University” from Saved by the Bell.  Click through for the excellent ESPN score photoshops. 

SVP & Russillo’s TV Moms Bracket – Speaking of brackets, here’s a much lamer one by a couple of ESPN radio dudes.  Marge is in the Final Four against Carol Brady.

Love is on the air: Who is the greatest TV couple of all time? Round 1, part 3 – See above, but with couples.  Homer and Marge went against Wash and Zoe from Firefly, which is an awfully tough draw in terms of internet fan voting, but they appear to have pulled it out because . . .

Love is on the air: Who is the greatest TV couple of all time? Round 2, part 3 – . . . Now they’re up against Desmond and Penny from Lost

Are you a movie star? Yes? Then you love John Lautner – Well, I learned something today:

From Troy McClure to Vincent Gallo or Robert Downey Jr, Lautner’s houses are part of the Hollywood dna, even if Mel Gibson destroyed one of them in Lethal Weapon 2.

It’s like living in the not too distant future. 

Blind Date With a Book: Results! – The Camden Public Library had a “blind date with a book” promotion going on last month, and they illustrated the results with some of the more tragic dates ever to grace The Simpsons.  Excellent usage.  (And no Zombie Simpsons.)   

Brookfield Film Festival offers award-winning lineup – Short films live forever, in this case a festival in Connecticut is screening “The Longest Daycare” among other offerings.

The Blues – A short appreciation through Bleeding Gums. 

Emergency Use Only – Perfectly quoted:

Oh, “meltdown”. It’s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an “unrequested fission surplus”.

-Mr. Burns

Never gets old. 

Gratitude – I must respectfully disagree:

I just want to take a moment and thank every episode of The Simpsons that I have ever seen. Which is pretty much all of them.

Thank you for your insight and vast sense of humor.

My life is better with The Simpsons in it.

Please don’t ever go away.

Happily, the old ones won’t. 

Chatting Basketball, ‘Disarm The Descent’, And The Simpsons With Killswitch Engage’s Justin Foley – Everyone loves “Treehouse of Horror V”:

BD: Coming around to a different topic, I know that you’re huge fan of The Simpsons. Since I come from Bloody-Disgusting and horror, I was wondering which of the Treehouse Of Horror episodes are your favorite?
JF: Oh, definitely the one where they do The Shining take off. That one is really, really good and is definitely one of my favorites. Actually, all three of those in that one are really good. I think that’s the one where they also have the toaster, where he goes back in time with the toaster. And the third one is where they eat the kids in the elementary school. [laughs] That one’s awesome!
Man, there are so many good Halloween ones. I like the Halloween ones because they can get really weird. They can do whatever they want. Like the one where they’re in the Itchy And Scratchy cartoon and it’s drawn all cartoony? I know that they don’t like to draw the show cartoony at all but in that episode they could do what they wanted and it was really fun.

Points for remembering all of the segments. 

Barker Character, Comic, and Cartoon Museum: Packed Full of Fun – There is an animation museum in Connecticut, and this guy went there are wrote it up.  Looks fun.

SportsDay Live, Thursday March 28 – Australian sports commentary, among other things, counts down ten great Simpsons sports guests.  The list has a few too many Zombie Simpsons references for my tastes, although it’s great to see Gerry Cooney on one of these.

Jewish Film Festival Opens With Glimpse Of ‘The Simpsons’ – Mike Reiss continues his coast-to-coast tour of Jewish film festivals.  This one is in Baltimore and comes with an interview:

JT: Do you ever get tired of talking about “The Simpsons”?
Reiss: Not really. It’s such a rich topic. Beyond that, I don’t have much to talk about. I’m a lousy conversationalist.

Why is it that Krusty the Clown is the show’s Jewish character?
It really had to do with the way we came up with ideas. In the old days, we’d all come in with ideas, and we’d plan the whole year’s shows. The idea of Krusty reuniting with his rabbi father and the parody of the jazz musician thing — there was nothing essentially Jewish about it, except that it was funny.

A Jewish entertainer?  Get out of here. 

Hamilton’s Armageddon Expo lineup announced – Yeardley Smith is appearing at something called the “Armageddon Expo” in New Zealand this May.  

Bart, Butterfinger Back Together – The Simpson family will once again be endorsing Butterfinger bars.  Carry on.

For Maggie Simpson: The power of silence – Maggie Simpson, hero to the world’s introverts:

I’ve always been a shadow of a person; my parents and sister are loud, over zealous individuals who love the theatrics of attention. I simply watch them and lament how they never seem to pay attention or truly “see” what is going on around them.

Maggie Simpson lives in such a family. Bart and his “bad boy” image, Lisa’s know-it-all insistence, Homer’s buffoonery, and even Marge to some degree with her helicopter parenting style all overshadow the youngest and mute pacifier sucking baby of the family.

And that is why she is my favorite.

John K – True:

Speaking of John K., his (kinda) recent Simpsons couch gag was the only thing worthwhile the show has done in an age

The Simpsons- Just as Unoriginal as Family Guy – PART 1 – The title sells this post a little short, it’s mostly about which Simpsons characters came from which other characters.  And besides, animation is built on plagiarism! 

Jack Grimes is ‘different’ to his Demons teammates and he knows it – Awesome:

FRANK Grimes was a character on The Simpsons who had to struggle for everything he got.

Fastidious and neat, Grimes even had a personalised diet and embossed stationery.

But he also had a huge work ethic, attention to detail and he made a successful return to work from injury.

Sound familiar?

Jack Grimes isn’t called "Frank" by his Melbourne teammates simply because he shares the same surname as a cartoon character. This is a nickname that goes beyond cheap laughs in the corridors of AAMI Park.

Well done, Australian rules football.

VIDEO: ‘The Simpsons’ writer tells story of how voice of Homer came to be, says references to Detroit are no accident – Video of Rob Lazebnik (who came on in Season 11) talking about Castellaneta’s accidental audition as Homer.  Fun note: says that Castellaneta works about 6 hours a week doing the voice now. 

THE SIMPSONS MOMOT – Cool papercraft Homer.

PICTURE OF THE DAY – Fanmade image of Charlie Brown cutting Homer’s hair.  Heh.

Letter #17 – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us, albeit in a different than usual form.  This is a site that’s dedicated to handwritten letters asking for forgiveness, sort of like Post Secret.  The letter in question is borderline illegible in places, but this is how it starts:

I am sorry that I am not into your new episodes anymore.  They are not as clever as they once were.



Quote of the Day

Bart vs Australia11

“Nine hundred dollary-dos?  Tobias!  Did you accept a six hour collect call from the States?” – Bruno Drundridge
“It was an emergency call from the international drainage commission in Springfield.” – Tobias Drundridge
“Oh my God!  There’s nothing wrong with the bidet, is there?” – Bruno Drundridge

Happy birthday Bill Oakley!


Quote of the Day

Mondale and Romney

Left image yoinked from here, right image yoinked from here.

“Hey, do we get to land on an aircraft carrier?” – Homer Simpson
“No, sir.  The closest vessel is the U.S.S. Walter Mondale; it’s a laundry ship.  They’ll take you the rest of the way.” – Helicopter Pilot


Reading Digest: Yet More Foreign Art Edition

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“Bart, I’m sorry I’m going to miss your public humiliation, but the Wolumbaloo Dirt Monument is just too exciting to pass up!” – Lisa Simpson

This week we’ve got two art items from the Southern Hemisphere, an Australian art show and some excellent Argentine graffiti.  There’s also a ton of usage, a good example of how not to invoke Sideshow Bob, and absolutely nothing about upcoming guest voices or episodes from Season 24.  It’ll be here soon enough, no point in hastening it. 

ARThive: Artists wanted for THIS IS NOT BART : MONEY’S 2 TIGHT FOR STEAK – Last year’s Simpsons themed art exhibition in Australia was popular enough that they’re bringing it back for a second year, and it’s Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week.  Grant Hunter, one of the artists involved, was kind enough to e-mail me and let me know about it, and if you’re in or around Newcastle in New South Wales, you can not only attend, but participate:

You *must* email to register. Spaces are extremely limited, though we will try to include everybody.
All submissions due at ARThive by SEPTEMBER 19 with $10 entry fee. Submissions may be rejected at the discretion of our curatorial overlords, so if you’re going to stuff us around heaps make sure your work is really really super good and worth it or else.

Cool.  The show doesn’t open until the end of September, but until then there’s an excellent slideshow of pieces from last year. 

Awesome Bart Simpson Tattoo Art and More by Logan Morrison – Pretty much what it says.  The tattoo design in question is of a shirtless and heavily tattooed Bart.  Great idea, except that Bart’s arm really should have a “Mother” or at least a “Moth” tattoo. 

Life Imitates Art – A real life Herschel Krustofsky.  Keep at it, kid! 

There’s no link for this one, but in response to all of last week’s foreign graffiti, reader Catherine sent in this image all the way from Buenos Aires:

Terms and Conditions

The text reads “I accept the terms and conditions”.  Ha!  Thanks, Catherine! 

10 of the Greatest ‘Simpsons’ Movie References – Lots of animated .gifs here and not even a whiff of Zombie Simpsons. 

Hurricane Isaac…In 10 Words – Somehow the animals are always the first to know. 

Lawless…In 10 Words – Well, you all know what laughter sounds like.  (This, by the way, will be reviewed at the new site this afternoon at 4pm.) 

Whatever Happened To The Simpsons? – The title isn’t referring to the show, but rather to the fact that they haven’t put out any new Simpsons trading cards in a decade.  There is a great image gallery of the old Simpsons trading cards too. 

Chick-Fil-Gay: The Inevitability of Marriage Equality – Excellent usage:

What the clip doesn’t include is Bart and Lisa rushing in trying to retrieve the pink elephant.  Once they have the balloon back, the head gay republican hands Lisa a bumper sticker.

“A gay president for 2084?” she reads.

“We’re realistic” he states simply.

I’ve always liked that joke, but have we really forgotten the Buchanan administration already?

Procrastinating – Well done:

I should have read more of The Merchant of Venice today, but instead I took walks and did some food shopping and organized my home a bit.

Oh, and I watched a few episodes of The Simpsons. From 5:00 – 8:00 pm you can catch, like, five episodes, easily.

One of my favorite parts of the Ortved book was when someone remembered that George Meyer and company had attempted to calculate the ideal ratio of goofing off to real work for maximum productivity, and it was like 2:1 in favor of goofing off. 

louisiana saturday night – Excellent usage:

Once we were finally settled into our cozy abode near the heart of the French Quarter everything began to come up Milhouse.

Bye bye Hippie Wall – A Simpson painting done for a kid’s bedroom is finally going to have to come down, but it will live forever on the internet. 

Neil Armstrong…In 10 Words – I don’t think this contest is over yet, Buzz, if that is your real name.

Unscripted ‘violence:’ Simpsons’ Itchy and Scratchy Show cut from Russian broadcasts – Something tells me that cartoons (South Park is mentioned as well) aren’t the main motivation behind this:

The law was written with a view to protecting children and young adults from “information detrimental to their health and development,” and calls for anything screened on television to have a clear-cut age restriction policy.


Popular American animated series the Simpsons, for example, will have to say goodbye to The Itchy and Scratchy show – an integral show-within-the-show piece turning the traditional triumph of good over evil on its head.

BBH Challenges You to Restore Your Own ‘Ecce Homo’ – That painting of Jesus that was restored a bit too enthusiastically is now being used by advertisers, including a Homer example. 

English Composition Syllabus or Comp So Hard The Registrar Wanna Fine Me – There are some lucky students at the University of Indianapolis:

Wednesday October 24

The Simpsons “Marge vs. Itchy and Scratchy”
Exercise M

The actual episode title is “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge”, but that is a fantastic piece of writing, and probably older than most of the students, so I’m glad someone is forcing them to watch it.  The irony of the last scene will hopefully not be lost on them. 

Venetians Turn Down Fashion Mogul Pierre Cardin’s $3-Billion “Palace of Light” Skyscraper – Excellent reference:

In an early episode of the Simpsons, Homer Simpson presents a bowling ball to his wife Marge for her birthday. It is made comically obvious to the show’s budding audience that the bowling ball — engraved with the name “Homer” — is intended to return right back to the hand of its giver. Just as Homer’s self-reflexive generosity enrages Marge, in Venice, where Italian-born French fashion designer Pierre Cardin has proposed an 800-foot-tall luxury skyscraper of his own design to bolster the local economy, the intended beneficiaries have voiced immediate skepticism.

Simpsons5: Ned Flanders Cubee by ~TheFlyingDachshund on deviantART – Just what it says. 

Lisa Simpson by ~Mister-Darkness on deviantART – Again, just what it says. 

Breaking Down the Origin of Minor League Baseball’s 7 Strangest Team Names – Lots of Simpsons baseball references are used as the hook on this otherwise unremarkable internet list.

Five Great Adult CartoonsThe Simpsons actually isn’t on the list here, just acknowledged as the forerunner of the ones that are.  And it’s nice to see some love for The Boondocks, Season 4 of which needs to start airing as soon as possible. 

Lucky there’s a family guyyyyy… – Cupcakes with Bart, Maggie, Pikachu, Stewie Griffin and Patrick from Spongebob.  Excellent variety. 

The Inaccuracies of the IQ – Excellent usage:

There is, though, something else people have to understand about I.Q. tests. If you’re a Simpsons fan, you’ll remember the second full episode of the Simpsons, “Bart the Genius.” Remember how the kids take an I.Q. test in school and Mrs. Krabappel tells them, “They… determine your future social status and financial success.”

The full quote is “They merely determine your future social status and financial success . . . if any.” 

Will The Ignorance Ever Stop? – Probably not anytime soon:

Let me share with you what sparked this post….

A guy that I have worked with on and off for at least 6 years now, who has only ever known me with natural hair says to me last week “So I see you  rocking that Side Show Bob today?” I ponder… Is this a real question? Does he want a real answer?*akward pause* When I don’t respond or laugh, he nervously laughs and asks “You do know who Side Show Bob is right? With a half-smile/smirk, blank stare, and a tinge of annoyance on my face, I shake my head yes barely looking up from my phone. I was not insulted. I was  more annoyed by the ignorance of it all. I mean really here you have a 30 something year old man making references from “The Simpsons” about my hair….REALLY!!!!!!

I have a Google Alert set up for “Sideshow Bob”, and any time anyone has even the tiniest bit of fro, someone on-line (often a professional at a real publication) will break out Sideshow Bob, even when it looks nothing like him. 

Ask Sideshow Bob! by ~PlanetHannah on deviantART – It almost looks like he’s hosting a new segment dedicated to pre-adolescent turmoil.  Bravo.

Top 5 TV Series (and Seasons) – Season 4 makes the cut.

The Simpsons Homer Buddha Toy by Kidrobot – That’s mildly clever, mildly blasphemous, and not worth even half of the $50 asking price.

The Simpsons 500th Episode Review – The craptacular 500th episode finally made it (legally) to Britain, which prompted this enjoyable negative review:

The point of this episode? Nothing really. How realistic is this episode? As realistic as Batman. Does it indirectly cover important affairs that affect normal peoples lives? Not at all.

That also agrees with us:

The Simpsons as we know it are not the same any more. There has been a mammoth decline in quality over the years but you would have expected that the 500th episode would be slightly better. Unfortunately, after watching the episode, I found myself thinking ‘What the hell?’, putting it in a nice way.

No need to be nice.  It just sucks. 


Reading Digest: Aussie Edition

Bart vs Australia9

“See?  The Southern Hemisphere is made up of everything below the Equa- . . . this line.” – Lisa Simpson
“So down there in, say, Argentina or Rand McNally, all their water runs backwards?” – Bart Simpson
“Uh-huh.  In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.” – Lisa Simpson
“Cool.” – Bart Simpson

I don’t know if it’s a holiday there or what, but we’ve got lots of links from our friends down in the penal colony this week.  There’s charity and Simpsons bitching, and the greatest waste of perfectly good beer since prohibition.  There’s even a town vs. town fight!  Back here on the side of the world where people eat hamburgers, there’s plenty of usage, some crappy merchandise, and two early reviews of the Maggie short that’s premiering before Ice Age 4


Cairns v Townsville: ‘We’re bigger than you’ – Awesome:

Townsville claims Cairns is fudging its population figures.

And if The Simpsons taught us anything, it’s this: when two towns go to war, it generally leads to someone stealing a lemon tree.

In which town can I marry someone’s attractive cousin, Cairns or Townsville?

Movie Review: Madea’s Witness Protection; or, Tyler Perry’s Diminishing Returns – Excellent reference:

Aside from that episode of The Simpsons where the family has to go into hiding with assumed identities after Sideshow Bob threatens to kill Bart, comedy still hasn’t quite cracked the code on witness protection, despite many tries. (My Blue Heaven, written by the late Nora Ephron, came close, while the Larry the Cable Guy opus Witless Protection and the Hugh Grant travesty Did You Hear about the Morgans?, uh, didn’t.)


How is the Simpsons still airing? – Someone actually posted this on Yahoo Answers:

It is not funny anymore. At all. I’ve watched so many Simpsons episodes and I really enjoy the earlier episodes up until around 2008ish. They started going downhill and is like…not even funny. I’m not saying they should cancel they show because it has lots of fans, just wondering how it is continuing to stay strong without being funny?

Best Answer: Merchandising, merchandising.

MUSIC: XV – Be There, Be Square Prod. by Xaphoon – Here’s how you know The Simpsons had a bigger cultural impact than anything else in the last twenty odd years.  This drawing has pop culture staples from Marilyn Monroe and Darth Vader to Dwight Schrute, the Doc and Marty, and Michael Jordan.  But it’s in the Simpsons’ living room.

Radical Becomes the Latest in a Series of Disheartening Studio Closures – The studio that made “The Simpsons: Hit & Run” game is being closed down.  Activision sucks. 

The Simpsons, the Muppets and Hello Kitty spoof aliens! – Not sure of the original source here, but that is a damn good Simpsons/Alien, Homer/John Hurt image.  Nice touch on the Yaphet Kotto headband on Carl.  (Also, this is a blog dedicated to Alien and Terminator movies, with an author who claims to be one of them and calls herself Ripley Connor.  Awesome.)

D’oh! Duff deal costs $2m – You bastards:

A Perth businessman was forced to throw out hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of beer made famous in The Simpsons television show after 20th Century Fox took legal action against him over copyright.


A big pile of the distinctive red cans could be seen being emptied and crushed at Mr Da Silva’s company Bell-Vista Fruit and Veg in South Fremantle last week.

Fucking FOX, ruining everyone’s good time over a piddling two million bucks.

Elizabeth fights for beds – These people could’ve certainly used the two million, and they’re in Australia too:

ONE of everyone’s favourite episodes of ‘The Simpsons" is when Homer is bedridden in hospital and discovers the control for the electronically adjustable bed.

"Bed goes up, bed goes down – bed goes up – bed goes down," Homer yells excitedly as he works the controls.

Unfortunately, patients at Murwillumbah District Hospital’s rehabilitation ward rarely get the opportunity to "do a Homer" with the bed controls – there’s only a small number of such beds available.

Review: Maggie Simpson in The Longest Daycare – The short won’t be released for another two weeks, but the first reviews are very positive:

After twenty-three years on the air, The Simpsons is far from being the fresh show it once was.


Without a single line of dialogue over its four-and-a-half minutes, we go on an epic odyssey with one of the family’s least outspoken characters. Maggie stories don’t often get much light in the television show, simply because she is difficult to sustain over 20 minutes, but in the abbreviated format of the short film, Maggie becomes the cinema star she was always destined to be. Like the silent movies of yesteryear, 2011′s The Artist notwithstanding, Silverman recognises the inherent comedy in action rather than words. The focus on a single character is reminiscent of the classic Disney or Looney Toons shorts, and we hope this means more Maggie, Homer or even Bart ‘toons to come.

Maggie Simpson’s Book of Animals – Speaking of Maggie, here’s a nice collection of high resolution photos of the book Groening’s sister did way back when at least some of the merchandise was good.  I found a used copy of this book a few years ago and gave it to a friend’s kid for his birthday.  He seemed to like it. 

Time – Once again, The Simpsons shows the way:

Significantly, I noticed that the less smiley clock on the wall struck a similar pose when The Simpsons came on.

The Simpsons provided incentive for me to learn to tell the time.
It was during this episode of The Simpsons that I learned what “sarcastic” means.
The Simpsons also taught me that one way to tell a story is to start completely off topic, and then transition into the key story.

So I’m sharing how I learned to tell the time to say that I’ve given up TV for a month.

Good luck with your TV fast.

Homer and Marge Simpson: A LEGO® creation by Travis Kirby – Homer and Marge in the medium of Lego. 

All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals. – This is a two part link, here’s the description:

I’ve picked one episode from each of the first 10 seasons of the show that best display Homer’s quality as either a father or a husband.

The first five are at the link above, the second five . . .

Stupider than a fox! – . . . are right here.  As he said, no Zombie Simpsons.  Bravo.

Summer TV Series: A Barren Wasteland or A Lost Treasure Trove – More from the Southern Hemisphere:

In Australia over the Christmas holidays TV really couldn’t be worse. The TV series that usually screen over the summer in the US actually tend to screen in Australia over the second ratings season beginning in August so once it gets to Australian summer their really is absolutely nothing on except for ‘Carols By Candlelight’ which is so terrible, I’ve been known to god forbid, read a book to avoid it. The only good thing about summer TV in Australia is that broadcasters replace their usual painful news shows like ‘A Current Affair’ and ‘Today Tonight’ with reruns of ‘The Nanny’ and ‘The Simpsons’.

That does sound bad.   

9GAG – Marge Simpson – A marijuana bud that kinda looks like Marge’s hair.

A Very Electric Connectivity Round-Up – The Simpsons-apocalypse play closes this weekend, so if you’re in D.C. this is your last chance.  This is a look at some of the pre/post-show extras they’ve got.

The F*cket List – More nice usage:

I noticed recently that Bucket Lists have become all the rage in the blogosphere as well.  Many bloggers have a separate tab for their Bucket Lists, where they keeping a running tally of all the items they’ve completed and blog about each experience. It started to feel like every second blog I read featured someone running a marathon,  or swimming with dolphins, or climbing mount Everest,  or becoming a Monorail conductor, or eating the world’s biggest hoagie, or living in the woods while keeping a journal of their thoughts, or bowling a perfect game.

……….Ok, so at least half of those were actually Homer Simpson’s lifelong dreams. But you get the picture.

Click through for the definition of a “Fucket” list, a concept of which I wholeheartedly approve.

Sweet, Sweet Beer – This is an article about beer brewing in Mississippi, and it contains excellent usage:

“I’d kill everyone in this room for one drop of sweet, sweet beer.” —Homer Simpson

Homer actually says “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer”, but that’s close enough and apt, so it’s still excellent usage.

Scent a Celebrity Series: Spritzing Springfield – Scenting The Simpsons Part 2 – Following up on last week, here are more (apparently) famous fragrances matched with Simpsons characters.

Just a little bit ridiculous… – Comic Book Guy gets cited and used a lot, but rarely with this much care.  It’s just a post about a class, but it ends oh so well.  (And the Jack Nicholson/Michael Keaton Batman remains awesome and has aged incredibly well.)

When Harry Met Sally…In 10 Words – Mmm, fake orgasm scene.

Simpsons Khlav Kalash: The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson – WordPress search terms can be very amusing, especially if the monkey god that runs Google somehow associates you with an old episode of The Simpsons

Simpsons – You have my undivided attention (gif) – Animated .gif of Homer thinking.

Nobody likes Milhouse – the simpsons – A nice .jpg of nobody liking Milhouse. 

You’ll Warm to This: Ice Age 4 – Another early and positive review for “The Longest Daycare”:

AND HERE’S A BONUS: the film is preceded by a hilarious and heart-warming 3-D Simpsons cartoon, which stars a largely overlooked character; Maggie, the youngest member of that celebrated TV family. This pre-feature surprise is worth the price of admission alone!

Best Episode of the Season: The Simpsons Season 23 – I’d basically forgotten that book episode, but somebody liked it.  I remain extremely bored, but that’s just my opinion.

Beth Kassab: Maglev train brings reasons for skepticism – Employing “Marge vs. the Monorail” as a column hook about a possible commuter train in Orlando, Florida. 

Why Am I So Crap At Clothes? – No idea, but this is nice usage:

I’m like Marge Simpson when she finds that Chanel suit in an op-shop and it is all she wears for a while, when trying to fit in with new rich friends.

“Sparkle sparkle” – More clothes related usage.

When I’m at work – You better be dying.  One of Homer’s most poignant moments is also hilarious.

Lemony shortbread. – Need something to bring to a friend’s house for breakfast?  How about shortbread and YouTube of Homer’s magical animal speech.

The Simpsons Bart Simpson Figure Style USB 2.0 Flash Drive – Yellow (16GB) – Definite Krusty Brand Seal of Approval alert on this warped looking Bart thumb drive. 

Opposition to Free Speech – Time to brush up on your American history:

Dr. Taylor conjectured that Matt Groening, writer of the Simpsons, most likely is a Federalist.  To support this statement, nothing good happens in Springfield during the times that the mob rules.

I blame the tariff. 

Romance is Not Dead – Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard.

Summer 2012 Moodboard / Lisa Simpson Brooch – A small, heart shaped Lisa pin.

Kill Zinesters – Well, I learned something today:

On the other hand, “Bunnyhop” received the negative attention of Matt Groenig’s lawyers after Tolentino sent a copy of “Bunnyhop’s” Geeks vs. Jocks issue, the cover of which featured Groenig’s Life in Hell character Binky knocking the Trix out of the Trix Rabbit, to the creator of The Simpsons. Tolentino expected Groenig to be amused and flattered, but received a “cease and desist” letter ordering him to destroy all copies of the cover and print a pre-approved apology. Tolentino was surprised not only by the response from a man who uses parody to such an extent as Groenig does, but moreover by the fact that it was the cartoonist, not the cereal company that balked.

Aww, Matt, just because the misspelled your name doesn’t mean you should sue them.

a blog post with no title, but which is vaguely to do with cooking and having a good time – Yet more from Australia:

My new friends trusted me with the task of doing the grocery shopping for this adventure. I took it seriously, I’d hate to have let them down. I knew I would be right with things like celery and potato. I was optimistic that I would find some sort of tofu (I actually found two separate tofu products. Incredible!), but the hitherto unheard of ketjap was a sauce of some concern for me (did you see what I did there?) After some extended discussion and googling and sharing of The Simpsons quotes, we managed to clarify that I was not looking for ketchup, or catsup, but a sweet soy sauce.

That does sound confusing.

Derpy’s Hook – My Little Brony – Bart finds the heart of My Little Pony.

Jesus on a tortilla? I present to you – Homer Simpson on a snake. – That snake’s head does indeed kinda look like Homer. (via)

pinklabcoats – They were a colorful bunch.

Teen joins Homer Simpson in soda machine rescue history – On the plus side, no lumber yards burned down.

Fiona SMASH- a Fan Rant – From a Fiona Apple review:

Barney belching and her saying #9 over and over again. That’s what The Idler Wheel... reminds me of. Garbled nonsense intended on taking music to dangerous new places but really it just polarize new fans and old fans. Also, this is coming from the girl who listens to RadioHead.

It’s actually #8, but that’s still a nice comparison.

Tea With Chris: Disorienting Pleasures – Every good scientist is half B.F. Skinner and half P.T. Barnum (with dog in the vents YouTube).

TV REVIEW: Futurama Season 7 – I’ve generally thought that this summer’s Futurama episodes have been noticeably better than last summer’s.  Seems I’m not the only one:

After the Planet Express crew discover an ancient Martian prophecy about the world ending in the year 3012, everyone rushes to get a spot on the planet’s only functional space ship captained by none other than the incompetent Zapp Brannigan. This is a great episode that is clever as it is funny and satirical as well as surprisingly relevant. After getting sick of The Simpsons parodying something about 2 years after it’s in the media its nice to see Futurama having a slightly quicker response time, although it’s still got nothing on South Park‘s timeliness.

Fair point.  (via)

Stop! Stop! The Simpsons is already dead! – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us:

Axing The Simpsons would have been the kindest thing for it. It has become almost like an elderly uncle at the wedding who doesn’t quite realise that the more he dances the Macarena, the more everyone else cringes.



Quote of the Day

Bart vs Australia7

“What kind of a sick country would kick someone with a giant boot?” – Homer Simpson
“Mr. Simpson, shush, disparaging the boot is a bootable offense.  It’s one of their proudest traditions.” – Evan Conover


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