Quote of the Day

“Sunrise! Sunset! Sunrise! Sunset! Sunrise! Sunset! . . . Ahhh! Not to self: stop doing anything.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Five alarm chili, eh? . . . One . . . Two . . . Hey, what’s the big idea?” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, I admit it. It’s only two alarm, two and a half, tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.” – Ned Flanders
“Daddy, are you going to jail?” – Todd Flanders
“We’ll see, son. We’ll see.” – Ned Flanders

Quote of the Day

“That Simpson, he thinks he’s the Pope of Chilitown!” – Chief Wiggum

Quote of the Day

“Argh, matey, nary a warning light to be seen. ‘Tis clear sailin’ ahead for our precious cargo.” – Captain McAllister
“Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?” – Sailor
“Aye, the hot pants.” – Captain McAllister

Quote of the Day

“Lis, check it out: Time for Chili!” – Bart Simpson
“I saw it, Bart.” – Lisa Simpson
“You’re just mad cause there’s no clock in your hat.” – Bart Simpson
“What hat?” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“What should I do? Should I meditate? Should I get rid of all my possessions?” – Homer Simpson
“Are you kidding? If anything you should get more possessions! You don’t even have a computer.” – Space Coyote

Quote of the Day

“Oh, man, he’s here: the dude with the fire proof stomach.” – Otto
“They say he carved it himself, from a bigger spoon.” – Lenny

Quote of the Day

“Every time you go to that cook off you get drunk as a poet on payday!  Remember last year?” – Marge Simpson
“Look at me, I’m a puffy pink cloud!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Marge, we’re missing the chili!  Less artsy, more fartsy.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, I happen to like handicrafts much more than stuffing my face.” – Marge Simpson
“Fine, I’ll come find you when I’m ready to stop having fun.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“This is cause I kicked you, isn’t it?” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I’m gonna go get some vegetarian chili before they get desperate and add meat.” – Lisa Simpson
“I’m gonna go claim some valuables at the lost and found.” – Bart Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Yeah, it’s a lazy, dog dangling afternoon.” – Homer Simpson

Reading Digest: Not Worth Reading Edition

“Oh, why do they have to put all this crud in my newspaper?  World.  The Arts.  Religion.  Ah ha!  Here it is, ‘Kickin’ Back!’” – Homer Simpson

This week we’ve got several links to things that really aren’t worth the click.  They exist, and I think they were worth noting, but having actually read them, I can’t honestly recommend that you do the same.  Of course, there are even more links that are worth your time, including some more minimalist Simpsons designs, several people who agree with us, quite a few lists, what real yearbook people think of Retrospecticus, and a new television show from Harry Shearer that I want to watch. 

Enjoy.

Five Ways ‘The Simpsons’ Ruined My Life – The title is a bit of an overstatement for Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week.  It’s really more five things she does because she’s a Simpsons fan (naming a cat that can stand on its hind legs Rory Calhoun is brilliant).  The wedding tables and cufflinks are fantastic. 

The Summer of 4 ft. 2 – Some well deserved love for Season 7 generally and “Summer of 4 ft. 2” specifically.  He shows the episode to the actual yearbook club every year, apparently the fonts joke gets them every time. 

What Do You Watch? Part I – Our old friend ilmozart agrees with us:

I struggle every Sunday, trying to find the funny and legitimize the fact that I still watch it. It gets harder every week. There’s always one or two good little jokes or sight gags, but I compare that to the golden days….and I sigh.

Indeed.

10 Most Prolific ‘Simpsons’ Characters – There’s nothing really worth reading here.  Someone at ABC News looked through IMDb and listed the characters who’ve been in the most episodes.  And since this is link trawling of the lowest form, they actually counted all four talking family members in the list at 500 episodes each instead of concentrating on the more interesting idea of what other characters had been in the most episodes.  For what it’s worth, according to them, it goes Moe (334 episodes), Milhouse (298), Skinner (274), Flanders (271), Burns (237) and Grampa (204).  (via)

Simpsons’ Beer ‘Duff’ Trademark Sought by German Brewer – This is awesome:

Duff Beer, based in Eschwege, Germany, filed a suit with the EU’s general court in Luxembourg, asking the court to overturn a decision by the EU trademark agency that prevented it from registering “the figurative trademark ‘Duff’ in black, white and red,” according to a filing published on April 14.

A Belgian court last year annulled Twentieth Century Fox’s two European trademarks for Duff as misleading because they weren’t registered for an actual beverage.

Good luck, German brewers. 

FOX to Rebroadcast First-Ever, Full-Length SIMPSONS Episode, 4/22 – Pretty much what it says.  They were going to repeat that awful 500th episode, but instead went with “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”.  Wise choice.  I might even tune in. 

Simpsodyne Art Print by John Tibbott – Once again, we have more minimalist fan made Simpsons art.  You can get this one as everything from a framed print to an iPhone case.  (via)

Harry Shearer plays Nixon in ‘The One’: 30-minute show to air on Sky Arts – Harry Shearer’s in a small television show (that’s being broadcast in Britain before America, for some reason) where he plays Nixon and acts out the things Nixon actually said on the tapes in all their racist, warmongering, paranoid glory.  I would watch this in a heartbeat.   

10 Comedians We Aren’t Meant to Find Funny – Our friend Philip has the rundown of ten acts so deliberately unfunny that they’re actually kinda funny, from Fozzie Bear to Steve Martin, with Krusty right in the middle:

His Krusty the Clown Show sketches are the stuff of huge mustaches and pie fights, something that might be written by somebody who grew up watching classic comedians, but could never figure out why they were supposed to be funny.

Paying attention, Zombie Simpsons writing staff?   

It’s Nice That : The Simpsons in chair form from the fascinating 56th Studio – These pretty but uncomfortable Simpsons chairs were linked in a few places this week.  The design is excellent, but couldn’t at least the Homer chair have some padding on it? 

The Real-life Inspirations for 17 Simpsons Characters – There’s nothing terribly new or interesting here, and some of them seem like stretches to me, but here it is anyway.

Homer choking Bart tattoo – Cool.

PRIMETIME TRAINERS 1991-1992 – A longer article about televised shoes from the 1990s notes that the Assassins were ahead of their time, fashion wise.

The Most Mind Blowing Subtle Pop Culture References From The Simpsons [IMAGES] – These pictures of Simpsons scenes next to their famous movie inspirations is old, but it was making the rounds again this week on Twitter and a couple other places.  This one comes courtesy of reader Steve.  I’ve still never seen that old one where the guy falls off the Statue of Liberty.  

Homer Simpson (NSFW) – What happens when you get someone to paint her vagina to look like Homer Simpson?  Well, you get this, don’t you?  (And this isn’t the first time, either.)

Der Simpsons – What about that tattoo on your chest?

10 little-known facts about Ted Nugent – There’s nothing you really need to click on here.  I just thought it was amusing that one of the “little-known facts” about the Nuge was that he’s been on Zombie Simpsons.  How the mighty have fallen. 

Lenny & Steve’s Excellent Adventure Through the 100 Best TV Episodes of the Past 20 Years: Part 5 – “Homer vs. The 18th Amendment” makes the cut at #55.

Simpsons Sums Up: Supernatural – I’ll just take Lenny’s word for this one.

How You Look Playing Monopoly – The various stages of Monopoly as seen through images of Mr. Burns.

My Five Favorite Pilots of All Time (So Far) – Some love for, among other things, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”. 

Pink Panther Pink? Smurfs Blue? Garfield Orange? Brilliantly simple print ads for Comex paint. – There’ve been a few of these minimalist type things in the last year or two, but I don’t think I’ve seen this one before. 

Fandom marks 25 years of ‘The Simpsons’ – Again, I wouldn’t bother to click on this, it’s just some throwaway article on espn.com, but it foolishly tries to make this work:

But to highlight how "The Simpsons" writers are still on their game, we’re compiling a few examples of plots from recent years that perfectly capture sports in the 21st century — but would have seemed completely alien to the TV viewer of 1987:

And how well does this indirect defense of Zombie Simpsons go?  Not well.  It only lists four episodes, three of which are only notable for being based around guest stars, and the fourth is that terribly boring episode where Homer and Marge become Olympic athletes.  You suck, Zombie Simpsons. 

Catnip – One of those things you can’t quite remember turns into looped YouTube of Mr. Burns’ condiment dilemma.  (Also, great blog title.)

The Szyslak Shuffle – Animated .gif of Moe defending his fly girl. 

Photo Album – Imgur – Heh, “bread” dog (via). 

Wizard World Toronto Comic Con – Sue’s Thoughts – Among other highlights, this woman got herself Simpsonized at a convention, you can see the result about 2/3 of the way down.

“Well, the evening began at the Gentleman’s club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon” – Mr. Simpson, it’s a felony to lie to YouTube. 

Coachella 2012…In 10 Words – I wonder if anyone asked the Pepper’s Ghost Tupac to give a message to Jimi Hendrix. 

Top 5 Dads in Television – Homer comes in at #1 here, and there’s lots of good YouTube. 

10 Best Cartoons To Watch As An Adult – It’s a short list, but Simpsons comes in at #1. 

Simpsons – Greased up Scotsman – Heh. 

Lisa Simpson Should Join Our Book Club – And finally:

This catches my eye because I used to be an avid Simpsons fan. I haven’t watched in well over 10 years, but at one point I had seen every episode and quoted it extensively.

I can assure you, there’s no reason to start watching again. 

As a final bonus, here’s a tweet sent in via e-mail by reader Landry:

That’s pretty harsh, but who am I to disagree?

Quote of the Day

Bonus fun: check out the comments at YouTube.

“Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, The Doodletown Pipers.  Now look at her records, they stink!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“By all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears.” – Dr. Hibbert
“His ears if we’re lucky.” – Krusty the Klown

Quote of the Day

“I always just figured my wife was my soul mate.  But if it’s not Marge, then who is it?  Where do I begin looking?” – Homer Simpson
“This really goes beyond my training as a furniture salesman, sir.  Now, if you don’t want the sofa I’ll have to ask you to leave.” – Furniture Salesman

Quote of the Day

“Where’s Homer?” – Bart Simpson
“Your father decided he’d rather come home in a taxi . . . or a police car.” – Marge Simpson

[Edited to correct the copy-editing, which is, in general, terrible here.]

Quote of the Day

“I’ve added an extra ingredient just for you: the merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango!  Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.” – Chief Wiggum 

Quote of the Day

“Ohh, look at that adorable spice rack!  Eight spices?  Some must be doubles, Or-ah-gah-no?  What the hell?” – Marge Simpson

Crazy Noises: El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer

“Has anyone seen Homer?” – Marge Simpson

“Marge, better you hear it from me than some gossipy neighbor.  Homer made a total jackass of himself.” – Helen Lovejoy

“Oh Helen that’s enough, call off your dogs.” – Rev. Lovejoy

“But someone had to tell her, and I got here first.” – Helen Lovejoy

In an attempt to fill the summer with love, hate and pointless Simpsons commentary we at the Dead Homer Society are going to spend some time overthinking Season 8.  Why Season 8?  Because Season 8 is when The Simpsons really began to deteriorate into Zombie Simpsons.  That’s why.  Because we’re cutting edge and ultra-modern we’re using a newfangled, information-superhighway fad called a “chatroom” to conduct our conversation.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on the longwinded Spanish title of the episode).

Today’s episode is 809 “El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer“, tomorrow will be 812, “Mountain of Madness“.

Dave: Let me start my saying I think we’ve left the dregs of Season 8.

Charlie Sweatpants: Definitely out of the dregs, but I’m not a real big fan of either one of these.

Dave: Instead, we’ve moved onto the pleasantly innocuous, but not particularly awesome episodes.

Yeah, not a fan per se.

But I don’t hate them either.

Charlie Sweatpants: Right, like I do watch them from time to time, but there’s rarely a time when I’m like, “Fuck yeah, I haven’t seen that one in forever.”

Mad Jon: Fair enough. My problem with Viaje is that the deeper meaning of Homer’s existence is to me what clothes are to nudist colonists.

I know they are there, and some people are into them, but I find the whole thing extremely off-putting.

And I am comfortable with who I am.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, this episode is one of the most uneven ones they ever did.

The beginning is funny, then the whole second act is Homer’s weird freak out which only has a few jokes in it, then it gets funny again, and then it has a weird dance party ending.

It’s almost bi-polar.

Dave: Shades of Burns, Baby, Burns.

Mad Jon: Oh yeah.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah.

Dave: Everything’s wrapped up in a nice neat package.

Dave: Too nice, too neat.

Mad Jon: On the bright side Johnny Cash is the talking space coyote

Dave: Yes, that is indisputably awesome.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, but did we need to take four minutes of screen time to get to him?

Mad Jon: And there are a few pretty good lines. And the Simpsons quote I use more than any other is in this episode as well.

Dave: Which one’s that?

Charlie Sweatpants: Says to Mabel?

Mad Jon: “I’m a well wisher, as in I don’t wish you any specific harm.”

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s a good one too.

I always liked that Kearney was drinking in the bar with them for no reason.

Dave: There are plenty of sporadic bits of funny in this episode. I like the line about Batman letting himself go.

Mad Jon: Oh, with the batlight deal?

I liked Smithers’ Cowboy outfit

“Hot Nashville Nights”

Charlie Sweatpants: Ah, but that’s before the episode goes insane.

There are also pretty noticeable aspects of Zombie Homer here.

Mad Jon: But it doesn’t make up for the fact that Homer doesn’t go to work, at all. Or that He spends the entire episode dealing with learning a lesson about Marge and soul mates or whatever. Pretty much anything would have been a whiff…

Dave: Definitely..

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s not so much the structure of the story I don’t like, it’s the relative emphasis.

Mad Jon: I agree

Dave: Bingo

Charlie Sweatpants: Learning the lessons and such just takes too damn long.

I mean, the lighthouse scene at the end just goes forever.

Dave: And they’re sort of trite lessons too

Charlie Sweatpants: There’s that too.

Dave: And by sort of, I mean excruciatingly so.

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s not like this is the first time Marge has gotten mad at Homer, but there’s more of her being angry in single scenes in this one than there is in all of “Secrets of a Successful Marriage”.

And the whole plot of that one is based on Marge being mad at Homer.

Mad Jon: yeah, I say meh.

Charlie Sweatpants: When the episode isn’t spazzing out though, it’s just tremendously funny. The merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango, the talking dog, Helen Lovejoy and her evil gossip.

Mad Jon: The GBM.

Dave: Heh.

Charlie Sweatpants: No, I don’t like that. Or that. It’s not that I’m afraid. I’m gonna hang up now.

Mad Jon: And Wiggum saying it’s not his job to talk people out of killing themselves.

Charlie Sweatpants: Flanders worrying his kids that he might be going to chili jail is good too.

Dave: I liked Kent’s safety whistle

Mad Jon: ha ha

Daddy, Are you going to jail?

Charlie Sweatpants: We’ll see son, we’ll see.

Oh, and speaking of great quotes: “Less artsy, more fartsy.”

Mad Jon: And “you mean the hot pants?” “Arr, the hot pants.”

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s really the only redeeming part of the end. Well, that and Marge’s reaction to Homer saying “in your face space coyote!”.

Dave: Space coyote?

Mad Jon: yeah, that’s funny

Charlie Sweatpants: Cracks me up every time.

Random question, why is Lenny at the handicraft booth Marge looks at? He’s running it, and he’s kinda prominent in the background, but he never does anything. That just always struck me as weird.

Mad Jon: Meh, Gotta be someone.

And I could see Lenny being a crafty bastard

Dave: It’s weird, and I’ve no good explanation.

Charlie Sweatpants: It kinda feels like something that was maybe cut late for time reasons, but what do I know?

Dave: Maybe the commentary has some insight?

Charlie Sweatpants: Possibly, do I care enough to check, though?

Dave: Nah.

Mad Jon: I don’t

Dave: At least not tonight.

Charlie Sweatpants: Anything else that jumped out at you?

Dave: Negative good sir.

Mad Jon: Nah, I think I already dropped my wisdom on the keyboard. and some on my pants…

Oh, wait, that’s vodka. Nevermind

Charlie Sweatpants: Okay, general ratings (top, mid, etcetera)?

Mad Jon: For me it’s upper lowerclass.

Charlie Sweatpants: I gotta go mid to low. There’s just too much dead time.

Mad Jon: The best of the boringest

Dave: It’s lower mid for me

Charlie Sweatpants: Yes, good discussion there.

Well, any other funny or hated parts or should we move along?

Mad Jon: Rise to vote sir.

Sorry about that, Let’s move on.

Dave: Let’s.