Posts Tagged ‘Grade School Confidential


Quote of the Day

“And finally, the bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been cancelled due to confusion.” – Principal Skinner


Quote of the Day

“Fine. Stay in the school. We don’t want you to come out.” – Chief Wiggum
“You got it!” – Bart Simpson
“Damn.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

“Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.” – Ralph Wiggum
“Baby looked at you?” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential13

“Bart!” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Uh, Mrs. K!  Hey, it’s Saturday.  Your powers are useless against me.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential12

“I guess we could go to Martin’s party.” – Bart Simpson
“I don’t know.  If we’re seen there it’ll definitely take our social standing down a notch.” – Milhouse van Houten
“We’re at what now, three?” – Bart Simpson
“Three and a half.  We get beaten up, but we get an explanation.” – Milhouse van Houten


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential11

“I told you we should’ve served cake instead of oysters!” – Mr. Prince
“I’m ruined!” – Martin Prince
“Ha-haaauh.” – Nelson Muntz


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential9

“Is this how you imagined your life, Edna?” – Principal Skinner
“Well, yes, but then I was a very depressed child.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“To poor decisions.” – Principal Skinner
“Hear, hear.” – Mrs. Krabappel


No Reading Digest Today (And Other Bad News)

Grade School Confidential8

“Stop pushing me.  What’s going on?” – Bart Simpson
“Just enjoy the movie, it has Tom Berenger.” – Principal Skinner

On account of the welcome disruption to normality that is turkey day, there will be no Reading Digest today.  However, I did want to highlight this particularly sad piece of Zombie Simpsons news, courtesy of our all-star commenter Abra Cadaver:

The Simpsons is filming a Judd Apatow spec script he wrote 22 years ago, because he’s Judd Apatow

As for his Simpsons episode, Apatow says it involves Homer attending a hypnotist’s show, being put under a spell that causes him to believe he’s the same age as Bart, and their becoming best friends, which then leads Homer to embrace his life as a responsibility-shirking man-child—a premise which Apatow acknowledges he’s "basically copied for every movie I’ve made since." And of course, the premise also recalls that episode where Homer visits a hypnotist’s show and is put under a spell that makes him believe he’s 12 years old, as well as all the many, many other episodes where he pals around with Bart and embraces his life as a responsibility-shirking man-child. Still, that’s only a problem if you expect The Simpsons not to repeat things, in which case you probably already stopped watching long ago.

The repetitive and uncreative nature of Zombie Simpsons isn’t a secret; it’s on display for anyone who bothers to sit through one of their episode.  But this particular instance of half-assed creative failure is nakedly unconcealed, even by their standards.  Not only are they producing a script that they wouldn’t have touched with a ten foot clown pole when the show was still itself, they’re doing so for the sole reason that the author happens to have become famous since their standards declined.  They aren’t making this episode because the writing is awesome, or because the script is some lost piece of comedy genius that was swallowed by the industrial vagaries of Hollywood.  They’re making it because people know who Judd Apatow is.  This isn’t the first time they’ve lunged at relevance with a celebrity writer, but it is the first time they’ve done so purely because of someone else’s notoriety. 

Zombie Simpsons: Famous People Like Us, You Should Too. 


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential7

“I don’t entertain much.  Usually it’s just soup for one, salad for one, wine for three.” – Mrs. Krabappel


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential6

“The only way to survive a deadly blaze is . . . oh heck, life’s too short for fire safety!  Let’s go outside and pick wildflowers.” – Mrs. Krabappel

Happy birthday Marcia Wallace!


Reading Digest: Deafening Silence Edition

Grade School Confidential5

“Willie hears ya.  Willie don’t care.” – Groundskeeper Willie

After the Season 22 finale, I wrote a post noting the vast difference between the marketing of the Flanders-Krabappel cliffhanger and the one for “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”.  Where once there was a national advertising campaign and genuine fan interest, now there were a couple of lame internet downloads and the sound of crickets.  I was curious to see how FOX would handle the inevitable Season 23 promotional stuff, however.  In theory, people cared about the fate of “Nedna”.  In practice, even the marketing department thought otherwise.

I watched a lot of football last Sunday, much of it on FOX.  Consequently I saw a lot of promos for “Animation Domination” in general and Zombie Simpsons in particular.  I’m not 100% sure “Nedna” wasn’t mentioned at all, but if it was mentioned it was only as an afterthought.  In general, they were plain old regular promos with a voiceover and a few clips.  (The one of Homer complaining about being in the middle seat was their runaway favorite.)  It’s hard to overstate the difference with “Who Shot Mr. Burns”, which was mentioned by FOX in every promo for Season 7 and around which they based a half hour special starring John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted.  One also suspects that this failed stunt isn’t going to show up in a future episode the way “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” did in the “138th Episode Spectacular”. 

One of our links this week is to someone else who noted the same glaring attention deficit.  In addition to that we’ve got lots of good video this week, an art festival in Australia, two best episode lists, a Simpsons studio tour, some excellent usage, and a huge Futurama fan who loves Simpsons and does a good job of explaining the two while agreeing with us. 


The Simpsons Season 23 Starts Today, and I Heard a Preview – The two women who wrote that book about using Simpsons in the classroom took a tour of the studio and the writeup is Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week.  There are a few pictures, including one of a David Silverman drawing which may be the greatest studio tour memento in the history of studio tour mementos.  It should always be remembered that while Zombie Simpsons is terrible and beyond redemption, the people behind the show are pretty much universally praised as super nice and generally fantastic. 

Monorail! See Simpsons Songs Performed Live: Gothamist – I’ve mentioned this Simpsons song performance before, but now there’s a trailer:

All promotion is good promotion:

On Thursday, October 13, 3 Geeks and a Girl will be performing 69 songs from the beloved cartoon in 60 minutes for an actual live audience. They’re promising "all your favorites from Chimpan A to Chimpan Z."

Tickets for We Put The Spring In Springfield run $15 with a two drink minimum and are available here. And when they say all your favorites, they mean it. Expect everything from "Baby on Board," "Oh Streetcar!," "Monorail," "See My Vest," and the titular song.

If they were really feeling it they’d have a four drink minimum, but life can only imitate The Simpsons so much.  Also, check out who got quoted in the video:

August Endorsement


The Simpsons opening in Minecraft – YouTube – This is great and was pretty much everywhere this week:

Wrenches with embedded LEDs make light of dimly lit fixit jobs – Excellent usage:

Homer Simpson’s advice when his brother Herb shows him the baby translator he has invented is that Herb "should have just taken an existing product and put a clock in it or something." These days the "or something" could easily be a light or, more specifically, an LED as their tiny size, low cost and low power needs has seen them wedged inside a plethora of devices

Homer actually doesn’t say “just”, but still. 

The Simpsons: Who Shot Nedna? – I don’t have much to add to this:

In short, “The Falcon and the D’ohman” was a disappointment after a summer of hype. But come to think of it, the hype itself was a bit of a disappointment. I actually went to and thought about voting before I realized that I just didn’t care. In contrast, I remember people discussing and trying to solve the Mr. Burns mystery. For the record, I thought it was the dog.

I still do, kind of.

Ten Best Simpsons Episodes – This is a fantastic list, no Zombie Simpsons and lots of YouTube.

Good Morning! This Horrifying Simpsons Cosplay Will Give You Nightmares – Feh.  The eyes are a little disturbing, but it’s not that bad. 

The 10 best Simpsons TV episodes – This one is from the Telegraph in the UK and, as per usual, contains nothing past Season 9.

Simpsons – Independent Thought Alarm – Just a couple of screen grabs with the subtitles turned on.  I love the look on Hoover’s face there. 

Art for Bart’s sake – If you happen to be in or around Newcastle, Australia this sounds pretty cool:

Bart Simpson will make an appearance at the weekend’s This Is Not Art Festival, with 20 artists paying tribute to the cartoon character and the rest of his whacky Simpsons family in an exhibition at ARThive Newcastle.

The exhibition is called This Is Not Bart (especially if Matt Groening happens to ask).

‘‘We thought it would be dumb/funny to have a group art show called This Is Not Bart on the This Is Not Art weekend. So that’s what we’re doing,’’ ARThive director Grant Hunter said.

It runs through October 22nd and any pictures e-mailed in will be gladly published.  If the mug shot Krusty at the link is anything to go by, there should be some neat stuff. 

I Love That Episode of The Simpsons! Oh Wait-You Were Talking About Real-Life Immigration Policy – This gets excellent usage points for bringing up “Homer and Apu”, but loses some for also mentioning something from Season 20.  Though it should be pointed out that even in Forbes most of the reference is to Season 7 and Season 20 only merits a perfunctory mention (via @dailysimpsons).

Into Darkness: Remembering Poet, Musician, and Community Activist David Blair – YouTube of a slam poem about Carl and the rest of the power plant’s reaction to someone spray painting an “N” on his locker.  This is so much better than the weird Lenny and Carl of Zombie Simpsons.

Simpsons Stylized | Absurdly Nerdly – I’ve linked at least some of these before, but I didn’t recognize the Lenny and Carl one, which I think goes nicely with the poem above.

Lisa Simpson by ~iloveegir on deviantART – Fan drawing of Lisa on what looks like a wall. 

The Simpsons Drinking Game – This is a good idea with way too many rules.  In my experience drinking games need to be at least kinda simple, for obvious reasons.

Premieres: Terra Nova, Gossip Girl and More. – In addition to being quoted in YouTube promotional videos, our old friend Lenny gives Zombie Simpsons 2.14 out of 10. 

A Complete List of Queer Girl Inclusive Shows (And Why I Hate All of Them) – Lenny killing it again:

The Simpsons: Patty Bouvier gets to sit in the background being a lesbian.

Why I Hate It: With almost every attempt this show makes at a joke these days, I just feel kind of confused and embarrassed for them. The storytelling makes no sense; this is the only show besides Glee that manages to regularly have continuity errors within a single scene.

"Simpsons" Writer Pens New Play for Connecticut Rep – Connecticut native Mike Reiss wrote a play about Connecticut called “I’m Connecticut” which you can see at the University of Connecticut campus from December 1 – 10.  Connecticut. 

Playboy Club…In 10 Words – I nitpick because I care (1 of 2): “Thinking too much gives you wrinkles.”

Andy Rooney…In 10 Words – I nitpick because I care (2 of 2): “Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them.  ‘Give me five bees for a quarter’, you’d say.” Movies – Ten Deep 09.29.11: Top Ten Astronauts – Homer checks in at #6 here, but it seems a tad unfair to include Tom Hanks as Jim Lovell and Ed Harris as John Glenn since they were, you know, real astronauts. 

Good news, everyone! Toronto has Futurama trivia – And finally, one of the original participants in Classic Simpsons Trivia is now setting up a Futurama trivia night.  Interviewer and interviewee heartily agree with us:

AVC: In a way, Futurama seems a lot less universal than The Simpsons, which basically shaped the attitudes of post-Gen X kids growing up in the ’90s. But there are loads of people, like you, who prefer it to The Simpsons. What is it about Futurama that you connect to?

JM: I will start by saying that I do think that seasons three to seven of The Simpsons are the best things created by anyone ever. But that’s more of a technical judgment. Futurama is more the show of my heart. It’s my show. From cover to cover, there’s nothing about it that I don’t like, where The Simpsons has kind of petered off. The last 10 years have not been that great, in my opinion.

AVC: Yeah. No good at all.

JM: Right, at least the last 10 years. There’s still nothing funnier than classic Simpsons under the sun.



Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential4

“We’re not coming down until our jobs are reinstated and you acknowledge and celebrate our love.” – Principal Skinner
“No one would like to celebrate your love more than I, but I am a public servant and not permitted to use my own judgment in any way.” – Superintendent Chalmers


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential3

“Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, it’s to know when I’m beaten.” – Principal Skinner


Quote of the Day

Brockman's Been Had (Again)

“I’ll be right there.  Alright people, we’ve got an escaped octopus on the roof of Springfield Elementary, let’s roll!  Two cameras! . . . So, once again, I’ve been had.” – Kent Brockman


Quote of the Day

“I hear reading!” – Principal Seymour Skinner


Crazy Noises: Grade School Confidential

Grade School Confidential2

“I don’t think we’re talking about love here, we’re talking about s-e-x in front of the c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n.” – Helen Lovejoy

“Sex Cauldron!  I thought they closed that place down!” – Krusty the Klown

In an attempt to fill the summer with love, hate and pointless Simpsons commentary we at the Dead Homer Society are going to spend some time overthinking Season 8.  Why Season 8?  Because Season 8 is when The Simpsons really began to deteriorate into Zombie Simpsons.  That’s why.  Because we’re cutting edge and ultra-modern we’re using a newfangled, information-superhighway fad called a “chatroom” to conduct our conversation.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “ridiculously”).

Today’s episode is 819, “Grade School Confidential” and tomorrow will be 825 “The Secret War of Lisa Simpson“.

Charlie Sweatpants: Shall we start with Grade School Confidential?

Mad Jon: Yes, lets

Charlie Sweatpants: Alright, initial thoughts?

Mad Jon: I kinda like this episode as it has plenty of funny one liners, and the ending wraps up cleaner than most of the episodes we have reviewed as of late

But there are plenty of things they could have done a lot better

Dave: I don’t love or hate this episode

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m kinda down on this one. It’s got not quite enough story to fill the whole episode, feels like it could’ve used a B plot. Homer and Marge have about ten lines total between them.

Mad Jon: that’s one of my problems, Homer has like 3 lines and the only funny one wasn’t that funny because it went on way too long.

Charlie Sweatpants: And while it doesn’t end with a dance party, the plot just goes to pieces right about from the time they make the deal with Bart.

Mad Jon: “Do you know where the remote control is?” That’s it, that’s where that line should have stopped. And even that isn’t A material

Dave: Yeah, that was awful

Mad Jon: Yeah I was watching it earlier and I had to turn it off at the dance scene

Charlie Sweatpants: Honestly, I don’t even think there are that many good gags in here. Sex cauldron is the only thing that always gets me.

Mad Jon: Although Ralph’s explanation of the closet happenings was nice

“the baby looked at you?”

Dave: Making babies is one of his better lines

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, those are okay, but that’s part of the whole, “doesn’t make a lick of sense” thing. I mean, it’s not like it was only the kids who saw them in the closet, Hoover and Willie are there too.

Mad Jon: I know I know.

Charlie Sweatpants: I generally don’t like poking little holes in the plot like that, but this episode has a ton of them.

Dave: Both Hoover and Willie are willfully neglected to further the shallow plot. Yeah, I see what you’re getting at Charlie

Mad Jon: Yeah, like I was saying earlier the one liners were funny, but I usually hate non-Simpson revolving plots on principle. or is it principal?

No, definitely principle

Dave: Principle

Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t see why they feel the need to hide, I don’t think they’d be dumb enough to keep forcing Bart to cover for them and harassing him, why would Chalmers just fire them, there’s just so many things that feel forced.

Dave: There are two little things I enjoy in this episode, out of context. 1) Bart and Chalmers’ exchange in the movie theater and 2) Agnes’ line about the coconut cake

Mad Jon: Well I think the point was that Chalmers fired them for the blown up story of their broom closed make outs, which wouldn’t have happened if they didn’t have to hide it for your well observed unknown reason

Dave: Both are forced, but as I said, out of context they’re funny

Charlie Sweatpants: I like Chalmers line about not being able to use his own judgment, and Martin’s birthday party is kinda amusing.

Mad Jon: I liked skinner’s line about the tea set.

“A lucky boy” but that would have been fine as a non-plot related throw away

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, that’s good.

Mad Jon: That’s why Skinner is so good in small doses.

They tried to do it again with the applesauce line and my penis went soft.

Charlie Sweatpants: But to get back to the story for a second, I think what makes the weak, plot hole filled thing so frustrating is the fact that Skinner and Krabappel are a relatively natural couple, so on a basic level it makes sense, but then it’s just ridiculously poorly executed.

Dave: Even though the plot is insubstantial, I have no beef with Skinner and Krabappel falling in love. It just doesn’t really warrant a full episode

Ha – we basically had the same thought

Mad Jon: The most unfortunate part is that it becomes a running gag for like 8 years

Charlie Sweatpants: Good point Jon, like I can only take so much of Skinner being awkward and Krabappel being lusty.


Dave: They “break up” in a later season

I forget which

Charlie Sweatpants: Feh.

Mad Jon: And get back together and break up and almost get married, then comic book guy shows up…

Dave: It gets tedious

Super tedious

Mad Jon: Now I’m 5 seasons away and I’m still not done

Charlie Sweatpants: But yeah, it’s not the concept that sucks (like Burns Baby Burns or Homer They Fall) it’s the execution.

There’s nothing so critical in here that it had to be a whole episode and you’ve got Homer and Marge basically doing nothing.

Dave: Right

Mad Jon: And god help me I hate the Homer line where he screams like a little girl when he finds out her name is Krabappel and not Krandle

Dave: I might not say it sucks, but it’s not great. This episode is like cheap beer, you’ll drink it and it’ll do the job, but it’s ultimately forgettable

Mad Jon: Good beer analogy.

+1 for Dave

Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t know, I like cheap beer a lot more than I like this episode.

Mad Jon: Dave: is a bit more sophisticated than you and I Pants.

Dave: That’s not true.

Mad Jon: He probably wears socks and ties his shoes and cleans himself regularly.

Charlie Sweatpants: There’s just so many things that feel like filler, the dance scene at the end, all the hoops they make Bart jump through, the agonizing slowness of a story that really only has about four things on its to do list.

Mad Jon: Yep

Dave: But compared to bottom of 8, how do you feel about “Grade School?”

Mad Jon: I would go as far as to say that more than half the episode is definite filler, and even more is debatable

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s not the very bottom, but it’s close.

Mad Jon: Meh, middle lower, I think there are 2 or 3 that are way worse

Well, two at least

Dave: I’m with Jon

Charlie Sweatpants: Think about the two we did last week, the mountain one and the chili pepper one, they’ve got sections that are much funnier than this whole episode even if large parts of them are kind of a wasteland of weird.

This one is just one long flat boring story with a couple of good jokes.

Mad Jon: But if you recall we all rated them at least upper-lower. Like a trailer park in Romulus as opposed to Rawsonville.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’ll take your word for that.

Dave: I stayed in Romulus once. Never again.

Mad Jon: It’s probably best for all involved. At least the cops in Rawsonville look for a reason before beating up minorities.

I mean Romulus. Oh whatever I’ve lost it now

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s not important.

Mad Jon: We’ll just say I’m too uninspired by this episode to continue my poorly executed joke

Dave: Grade School is pretty bland and lacking in the laughs dept. But in spite of that, it’s still watchable

Charlie Sweatpants: When I rewatch these before we do these little chats I usually take some notes, just type a few short reminders, but I took almost no notes on this one because there just isn’t much here. 1:00pm, still just a potato, and all that.

Dave: potatoe

Charlie Sweatpants: You’ve got the Quayle American Heritage Dictionary on your desk, don’t you?

Dave: I might.

Mad Jon: I’m telling you, sophistication unknown to us mere commoners

Except you knew about that…. hmmm..

Charlie Sweatpants: Any final thoughts on this one?

Mad Jon: I like Martin’s jab at Bart before the anticlimactic climax. But like I said, then I turned it off

Dave: Bart misspells “potato” in “Dead Putting Society” right?

Charlie Sweatpants: Yes.

One assumes that was deliberate.

Dave: Phew, I thought I was crazy.

Mad Jon: No, it’s just good science.

Sorry, the beer told me to type that.


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential1

“As you know Bart, your permanent record will one day disqualify you from all but the hottest and noisiest jobs.” – Mrs. Krabappel

“What do you say, son?  You keep our secret and some other student can inherit your gloomy, windblown future.” – Principal Skinner

“Deal.” – Bart Simpson


deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Fuck the duck until… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Big John's Breakfast… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Relatives Dude on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Mr Incognito on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Zombie Sweatpants on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Bleeding Unprofitabl… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Red sus on Quote of the Day
Rick on Quote of the Day
cm5675 on Quote of the Day
Bleeding Gums Murphy on Quote of the Day

Subscribe to Our Newsletter


Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.

%d bloggers like this: