Posts Tagged ‘Homer Defined


Quote of the Day

Homer Defined6

“So the next time somebody tells you carny folk are good, honest people, you can spit in their faces for me.” – Barney Gumble
“I will, Mr. Gumble.  But, if you’ll excuse me, I’m profiling my Dad for the school paper.  I thought it would be neat to follow him around for a day to see what makes him tick.” – Lisa Simpson
“Aww, that’s sweet.  I used to follow my Dad to a lot of bars too.” – Barney Gumble


Quote of the Day

Homer Defined4

“Mr. Burns, people are calling this a meltdown.” – Kent Brockman
“Oh, ‘meltdown’, it’s one of those annoying buzzwords.  We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus.” – C.M. Burns

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer Defined”!  Original airdate 17 October 1991.


Quote of the Day

Homer Defined3

“My best friend shafted me.  I’ll never get over this, Otto man.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, sure you will.  You know, once my old lady ran off and married my brother.  Well, it hurt, but here it is a month later, and I’m sleeping on their couch!” – Otto

Edited to fix my inability to discern words in English.


Quote of the Day

Ashes in My Mouth

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user TooFarNorth. 

“How are you enjoying your ham, Homie?” – Marge Simpson
“Tastes so bitter it’s like ashes in my mouth.” – Homer Simpson
“Hmm, it’s actually more of a honey glaze.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

Homer Defined2

“Well, Marge, the other day Milhouse told me my meatloaf ‘sucks’.  He must’ve gotten that from your little boy, because they certainly don’t say that word on TV.” – Luann van Houten


Quote of the Day

Homer Defined1

“These unfortunate people here will be instantly killed.  This circle, which I am sad to say we are in, will experience a slower, considerably more painful death.” – Professor Frink


Quote of the Day

“Margarita, I want you.” – Avery Devereaux

“Mr. Devereaux! I can’t work under these conditions!” – Margarita

“Have it your way, baby. You’re fired.” – Avery Devereaux

“Oh, Avery!” – Margarita

“Call me Mr. Devereaux!” – Avery Devereaux


Quote of the Day

Pumpkin Mix

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user minjungkim.

“Dear lord, if you spare this town from becoming a smoking hole in the ground, I’ll try to be a better Christian.  I don’t know what I can do, um . . . oh, the next time there’s a canned food drive I’ll give the poor something they’d actually like instead of old lima beans and pumpkin mix.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

Depressing Alcohol

“What’s the matter Homer?  The depressing effects of alcohol usually don’t kick in ’til closing time.” – Moe

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user quinn.anya.

The Blueprint of the Enemy

“Hey, this is the only paper in America that’s not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine.” – Homer Simpson

There was an article in USA Today last month about the merchandising future of The Simpsons.  It is a fucking horror show for anyone who understands the concept of Zombie Simpsons.  The whole thing is worth reading, but there are a couple of very frightening passages that deserve special attention:

Consumers worldwide spent more than $750 million on Simpsons-related licensed merchandise last year, about half of that coming from the U.S., Fox says.

In addition, advertisers spent $314.8 million last year on the prime-time show on Fox and reruns that local stations air, according to research firm TNS Media Intelligence. That’s down 16.8% vs. 2007.

Holy shit.  It’s one thing to understand on an academic level that merchandising is where the real money is, it’s another to find out that merchandising revenue is more than double the television revenue (including repeats).  If the Simpson clan brings $750 million in non-advertising revenue per year, who cares if new episodes cost $5 million each?   I don’t know how much of that $314.8 million is syndication and how much is first run, but at those kinds of numbers it almost doesn’t matter.

Here’s where it gets worse:

The creative forces behind the show feel the pressure.

“We had a great template in the beginning with really strong characters,” says creator Matt Groening. “Now the struggle is to keep amusing and surprising the audience with stories and characters that they’ve seen for a couple of decades. It’s hard.”

They have to keep the laughs coming. Fox recently renewed The Simpsons for two years, ensuring that it will pass Gunsmoke as television’s longest running prime-time series.

If the show can stay fresh, Fox executives say that their three-pronged strategy can keep the franchise growing.

What that essentially means is that FOX views the continuation of the show as a necessity for the merchandising which generates most of the profits.  And that means that the quality of new episodes is almost irrelevant to them, so long as new shows at least look and sound like The Simpsons nothing else matters.  It’s not as though the writers are going to create some character that will cause the great unwashed to demand new T-shirts.  It’s just going to be more stuff with Homer, Bart, Krusty and Comic Book Guy.  The only thing the actual show needs to do is stay on the air to prevent the brand fading from popular consciousness.

Here is the completely unironic conclusion.  “Dekel” is Elie Dekel, “20th Century Fox’s executive vice president for licensing and merchandising”:

Is there anything that the Simpsons wouldn’t sell? Groening says that he vetoed a proposal to have Simpsons slot machines.

Dekel, though, says he keeps an open mind.

“There were times years ago when we probably would not have done some of the products we’re doing today,” he says. “But society, culture and the marketplace evolve. The sensibilities of the show evolve. So I never say never.”

Yet while he hones his strategy to turn the Simpsons into enduring and marketable pop icons, Groening says it’s important to remember that the show itself has to come first.

“We try to keep the whole Simpsons juggernaut funny and surprising,” he says. “From there, everything rolls out. But very rarely is anything within the show done in a calculated way.”

It’s a 1600 word article and there are only two perfunctory mentions of the quality of the show itself.  Both come from Groening, who is very demonstrably not in charge.  Quite frankly I’m amazed they let him stop the slot machine.  Those things are big money, though the slot demographic tends to skew older so a Simpsons one might not be the biggest draw.

Obviously this is just a newspaper article, it’s not FOX’s master plan for world conquest or anything.  But I think it amply demonstrates where the emphasis is when it comes to Zombie Simpsons.  Much as I like to harp on the low ratings, if I’m FOX I could care less if the show loses 10% of its audience annually.  Even if I don’t make a dime broadcasting new episodes for Season 21 I’m still swimming in money.  For FOX, The Simpsons is a merchandising property that also happens to be a television program.  They have no interest in making the show incisive and clever because doing so would have no real impact on their bottom line.


Quote of the Day

“Call me old fashioned, but movies were sexier when the actors kept their clothes on.  Vilma Banky could do more for me with one raised eyebrow than an entire-” – C.M. Burns
“Warning.  Problem in Sector 7-G.” – Computer 
“7-G?  Good God, who’s the safety inspector there?” – C.M. Burns
“Homer Simpson, sir.” – Mr. Smithers
“Simpson, eh?  Good man?  Intelligent?” – C.M. Burns
“Actually sir, he was hired under Project Bootstrap.” – Mr. Smithers
“Thank you President Ford.” – C.M. Burns


deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Fuck the duck until… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Big John's Breakfast… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Relatives Dude on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Mr Incognito on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Zombie Sweatpants on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Bleeding Unprofitabl… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Red sus on Quote of the Day
Rick on Quote of the Day
cm5675 on Quote of the Day
Bleeding Gums Murphy on Quote of the Day

Subscribe to Our Newsletter


Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.

%d bloggers like this: