Posts Tagged ‘Homer Goes to College


Quote of the Day

“Sorry, son, but there’s a program about campus life that I really should watch.” – Homer Simpon
“We now return to School of Hard Knockers, starring Corey Masterson.” – TV Announcer
“Dean Bitterman, I hope nothing unsavory happens during my visit. As you know, I am the President of the United States.” – The President
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve expelled those rowdy members of Chug-A-Lug House.” – Dean Bitterman


Quote of the Day

“Ah, the college road trip. What better way to spread beer fueled mayhem?” – Homer Simpson
“If you’re going for a ride, I’d like you to take Bart and Lisa.” – Homer Simpson
“But, Marge, we’re college guys and we’re up to no good.” – Homer Simpson
“Mr. Simpson, Gary spilled his ear medicine.” – Fat Nerd


Quote of the Day

“For the love of God, sir! There are two seats!” – Mr. Smithers
“I like to put my feet up.” – C.M. Burns


Quote of the Day

“Hey, the pig’s acting kinda funny.” – Fat Nerd
“He and Mr. Simpson split a case of malt liquor.” – Skinny Nerd
“Guys, he’s really sick!” – Black Nerd
“Hello, that sounds like a pig fainting!” – Dean Bobby Peterson


Quote of the Day

“You’re in big trouble, Burns! Homer Simpson’s job requires college training in nuclear physics. Now, you get your man up to speed or we’ll be forced to take legal action.” – Nuclear Inspector
“Is that so? Well, I have the feeling you’ll be ‘dropping’ the charges. . . . Oh.” – C.M. Burns
“The painters moved your desk, sir.” – Mr. Smithers
“Ah, yes.” – C.M. Burns


Quote of the Day

“Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase.” – Marge Simpson
“Yeah, but this is what they’re doing on campus! Besides, it isn’t costing us. I swiped the cinder blocks from a construction site.” – Homer Simpson
“Sir, six cinder blocks are missing.” – Foreman
“There’ll be no hospital, then. I’ll tell the children.” – Architect


Quote of the Day


“I did always want to go to college. But fate stood in the way.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, sign this application and you’re a shoe in.” – Guidance Counselor
“That dog has somebody’s ham! This I gotta see!” – High School Homer


Quote of the Day

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“I’m sorry, boys, I’ve never expelled anyone before.  But, that pig had some powerful friends.” – Dean Bobby Peterson
“Oh, you’ll pay!  Don’t think you won’t pay!” – Richard Nixon


Quote of the Day


“Homey, here are the responses from the colleges you applied to.” – Marge Simpson
“D’oh!  D’oh!  D’oh!  Woo-hoo, a flyer for a hardware store!” – Homer Simpson


Compare & Contrast: Surprise Nuclear Inspections

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“The watchdog of public safety, is there any lower form of life?” – C.M. Burns

It would be one thing if Zombie Simpsons merely repeated ideas and stories that had been done on The Simpsons.  Given the enormous catalog of episodes, it’s certainly understandable that scenes and concepts would need to get recycled from time to time.  Hell, that was understandable way back in the heyday of the show.

For example, Season 2’s “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish” has a great nuclear plant inspection, where we see gum used to seal a crack in the cooling towers, a plutonium paper weight, and ankle deep toxic waste.  But all that doesn’t detract in the least from the inspection in Season 5’s “Homer Goes to College”, because instead of showing us the same things again, it gives us a completely different set of horrifying looks into Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

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Looks comfy.

For starters, the inspectors show up during nap time, where meltdowns are averted by sleepy hound dogs and Smithers is curled up at Burns’ feet.  When the surprise inspection team rings the bell, Burns denies them entry and tells a pathetic lie about old fashioned cookies before the inspectors start hacking at the door with an ax.  The inspection hasn’t even started yet and already The Simpsons is at full speed, tossing off jokes and ludicrous ideas as fast as possible.

Compare that to the – ahem – “inspection” in “My Fare Lady”.  Instead of nap time and Homer falling asleep on the “Plant Destruct” button (“Please Do Not Push”), Burns just happens upon Moe, who has been hired as a janitor, mopping the floor.  (This whole thing is so inconsequential that we don’t even get an establishing shot and a crow screech.)  That immediately leads to a standard Zombie Simpsons joke, wherein the punchline takes forever to arrive, and is patiently explained to the audience:

Burns: Hey, swabbie, you missed spots there . . . another one there . . . and there!  Every other spot is begrimed!
Moe: It’s called a checkerboard floor, you unwrapped mummy.

At that, the camera helpfully pulls back to show us the aforementioned checkerboard floor.  Hi-larity.

No sooner has that happened then Smithers walks up with a bunch of inspectors in tow, “Sir, the NRC is here for a surprise inspection”.  Huh?  Even by the standards of incompetent Zombie Simpsons Burns, this is head spinning.  These guys just waltzed into the plant without Burns (or Smithers, apparently) even knowing they were there?  Somewhere, Season 5 Burns is scoffing at his successor’s haplessness.  One second they’re not there, the next they are; there’s no lie about cookies, no ax, no nothing.

In Season 5, once the inspectors do get in, we see them testing the plant employees while Burns and Smithers gaze down from above.  Except, of course, for the three workers who’ve been strategically diverted down to the basement with the important job of keeping a bee in a jar.

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I always wondered what these guys did at the plant.  Accountants?

Down in the basement we see a glowing rat, dripping ooze, and several spilled barrels of toxic waste.  No other mention of them is made because it doesn’t need to be.  Moreover, the inspectors have no idea these three geniuses (and the improperly stored nuclear waste) are here.  They’re in the parking lot testing the employees.  Here’s the Zombie Simpsons version of the same thing:


See the glove?  The inspectors didn’t.

While Moe asks penetrating questions like, “You’re the head inspector, huh?”, nothing else happens except the unacknowledged gas leak and the slowly inflating glove.  It’s easily the best part of this scene, but it also makes the inspection team even more bland and boring than they already were.  (Thanks for the meandering story about your Queen cover band.)  The scene is Moe telling them they can’t come in after they’ve already come in, followed by them, despite already being inside and being, you know, federal nuclear inspectors, meekly accepting that and shuffling off screen.

This is basic stuff, the audience getting to see characters with personality do things instead of just listen to somebody we don’t know talk about something we don’t care about and can’t see.  To be fair to Zombie Simpsons, the inspection in “Homer Goes to College” is given more screen time, so things like nap time, bee guarding, and Homer causing a meltdown without any nuclear material being in the truck have a chance to breathe.  But it’s not like “My Fare Lady” was crammed with other great bits.  The episode has three different driving montages, one of which goes on for well over a minute.

Not that extra time would’ve helped.  More lines for incompetent Burns, more background jokes explained, and more of the nothingburger inspection team aren’t going to make “My Fare Lady” any better.  When the NRC shows up in Season 5, there’s a big ominous musical cue, and they begin to methodically test employees.  These nondescript cardboard cutouts (only one of them even speaks) get silence and deserve it.


Quote of the Day


“Hello, Simpson.  My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we’d stop by.” – C.M. Burns
“Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?” – Marge Simpson
“Yes, he would.” – Blue Haired Lawyer


Behind Us Forever: Clown in the Dumps

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“My first day of college.  I wish my father was alive to see this.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“How long have you been back there?” – Homer Simpson
“Three days.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

(Sorry for not getting this up yesterday.  The day got away from me.)

Season 26 picked up right where season 25 left off: a time eating guest couch gag, many needlessly self voiced celebrities, characters explaining how they feel and what they’re doing, and plenty of other boring nonsense.  The A-plot was about Krusty being sad and involved the much hyped character death, which turned out to be the nothingburger we all expected.  (The fact that the media is so easily and repeatedly trolled by Zombie Simpsons may be the funniest thing about the show these days.)

The B-plot was about Lisa being worried about Homer’s health all of a sudden.  We know this because she basically narrates the whole thing for us, including how she’s feeling and the ending that was already nonsensical before the school bus crashes into the Simpson back yard.

– Count me among those who generally like the guest couch gags.  It’s nice to get something new and interesting, and since the writing staff doesn’t have to do any plot or dialogue, they’re often very decent.  But this one was pretty bad.  It was a decent concept and had a neat look to it, but it took way too long given how little actually happened and how repetitive the images were.

– This popcorn thing is really dumb.  It was also done much, much better in “Realty Bites”.

– “Cheap to Produce” was at least quick.

– Ugh, this Wiggum crime photo thing.  I thought the Family Guy stuff was going to be during their episode.

– Hey, look: crappy jokes, self voiced celebrities, and canned laughter.

– “Nobody warned me this roast would treat me the same way as every roast I’ve seen and laughed at.” – Unnecessary exposition rolled up with a cheap excuse for the idiot nonsense they just made us sit through.  Stuff like this really demonstrates how much the show has deteriorated.  Krusty knows what a roast is.  It’d be fine to have the roast get to him, bum him out, etc.  Instead, he acts depressed and surprised from the get go because Heaven forefend characters and the story might move along in reaction to what happens rather than just because.

– That swapper joke could’ve been funny if it had made sense.

– Hey, look, Bart just showed up out of nowhere to tell Krusty what to do.  Seamless.

– This is certainly a pointless death scene.

– And now it’s time for a funeral that improbably includes the Simpson family.

– Hey, the B-plot showed up.  I’ll let Lisa explain, “Dad, I’m worried about your health.  I don’t want to lose you.”

– Remember when they only included Sideshow Bob when they had something really great and fun to do?  Long time ago, that.

– “No mimes!” is a decent sign gag.

– And “The elephant and I had our differences” is pretty good.  It’s also short, understated, and unexplained.  Not a coincidence.

– Is it technically an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon if Itchy’s not in it?

– Oh, for fuck’s sake, “Kids, I’m experiencing a crisis of conscious.”

– This is a cruel waste of Maurice LaMarche as the TV critic.

– Lisa’s back to explain what’s happening in the B-plot again.

– Did David Hyde Pierce just wander past the recording room one day?  That might have been even more pointless than the Sideshow Bob cameo.

– Past Krusty shows were a lot better when they were about collective bargaining agreements.

– Similarly, Krusty’s binges used to be more fun.  They even had the Stanley Cup.

– “Krusty, have you fulfilled the promise you made to your father in the dream you never told anyone about?”  Even by their cheat standards that’s lazy.  They weren’t even painted into a corner or anything, they just can’t move things forward without explicitly telling us what’s going on.  Then Bart appeared out of nowhere.

– And now Homer is wrapped in bubble wrap, then there was a car crash and then Lisa explained, out loud, how she was feeling for the fifth time or so.  Mercifully, this B-plot is now over.

– Bart apparently knew who Krusty’s dad’s favorite rabbi was.  No, it doesn’t make any sense.  But at least it was short.

– Oof, the “Jewish Heaven” song is really weak.  There are like three lyrics, most of which are just “Jewish Heaven”, and the rest is just visual references of famous Jews.

Anyway, the ratings are in and they are much improved.  Last night, 8.50 million people lost hope after the FXX marathon reminded them how good the show once was.  That’s way up from last year’s premier, though at least some of that is attributable to the Eagles-49ers game.  It’ll be curious to see whether or not that holds up next week when FOX doesn’t have a late NFL game.  Was it mostly football, or did all that hype actually make a few million people want to start watching the show again?


Quote of the Day

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“Oh, Dean, this is what your new hip is going to look like . . . you’re going to have to go easy on it.” – Dr. Hibbert


Quote of the Day

Homer Goes to College13

“Don’t worry, Mr. Simpson, we can take care of ourselves.” – Black Nerd
“Uh, wallet inspector.” – Snake
“Oh, here you go.  I believe that’s all in order.” – Fat Nerd
“Whoa, I can’t believe that worked!” – Snake
“Hey, that’s not the wallet inspector.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

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“Marge, someone squeezed all the life out of these kids.  And unless movies and teevee have lied to me, it’s a crusty, bitter old dean.” – Homer Simpson
“Hi there, hello, I’m Dean Peterson, but you can call me Bobby.  I just want you to know, if you ever feel stressed out from studying or whatever, I’m always up for some hacky sack.  Or hey, if you just want to come by and jam, I used to be the bass player for the Pretenders.” – Dean Peterson
“Boy, I can’t wait to take some of the starch out of that stuffed shirt.” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer Goes to College”!  Original airdate 14 October 1993.


Quote of the Day

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“We played Dungeons & Dragons for three hours, then I was slain by en elf.” – Homer Simpson
“Listen to yourself, man, you’re hanging with nerds.” – Bart Simpson
“You take that back!” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, please, these boys sound very nice, but they’re clearly nerds.” – Marge Simpson

Happy birthday Conan O’Brien!


Compare & Contrast: Homer Parties Like It’s Freshman Year

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“Now, the only antidote to a zany scheme, is an even zanier scheme!” – Homer Simpson
“Why does it have to be zany?” – Fat Nerd

Since the show had all but run out of ideas by Season 11, it’s no surprise that they had to start revisiting topics and concepts that they’d already done with increasing frequency.  And while most of “Kill the Alligator and Run” is a bizarre slideshow of the family leaping from one goofy, vaguely Southern situation to another, it gets there by transporting Homer to a raucous college party and having him run around with the drunken kids.  As it happens, Homer had tried to party with college students once before, in Season 5’s infinitely better “Homer Goes to College”.

As with so many comparisons between The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons, to really get to the heart of the matter you have to put aside most of Zombie Simpsons usual problems.  So, no, the trip to Florida doesn’t have anything to do with spring break, nor does it have much to do with Homer’s odd freakout at the beginning of the episode or the subsequent multi-act run from the law.  And, no, Homer getting down with the college kids doesn’t make any sense on its own either, from his getting to the beach with a bed tied to him to his bizarre antics at the Kid Rock concert to the sheriff happily looking the other way for Homer.  All of those typical Zombie Simpsons shortcuts distract from just how empty the comedy here really is, so while they exist and are a big part of what makes this episode so very unwatchable, they aren’t what makes their take on “spring break” so utterly empty, boring and unfunny.

On the surface, both “Homer Goes to College” and “Kill the Alligator and Run” have Homer acting like a jerk around college kids.  But if you look just a bit deeper, you can see that Zombie Simpsons wasn’t doing anything else while The Simpsons was using Homer for far more than just him running around and yelling.

Kill the Alligator and Run2

Homer yelling and running, there’s a lot of this.

The premise of “Homer Goes to College” was that Homer, in his infinite stupidity, thought that all those Animal House style movies about college are what life on campus is really like.  When he actually got there, he figured that the jocks would be constantly beating the nerds, that the dean was naturally out to get everyone, and that the rest of the students would feel the same way he did.  Homer being Homer, he couldn’t see that none of that was true, and instead tried to do things like take the nerds on a beer fueled road trip and prank a nearby school that no one else on campus even cared about.  The jokes come fast and heavy, but the main idea on which everything else rests is that Homer is wildly out of place and spectacularly wrong about what college is like.

By contrast, in “Kill the Alligator and Run”, Homer isn’t wrong about anything.  In fact, he’s exactly correct about what it is all those young people are doing.  Because of this, the episode is left with hardly anything to do but exaggerate the wildness on display and hope for the best.  That’s how it gets stuck with having Homer and some kids turn over the family car, Homer ride to the beach on the top of a van, and a Kid Rock concert that features a cartoonish, Acme-sized bottle of booze and the late Joe C being fired out of a makeshift slingshot.  Like their hapless fluffing of Lady Gaga earlier this year, this is Zombie Simpsons making something look awesome and mistaking that for satire.

So while Homer is behaving like an out of control jerk in “Homer Goes to College”, there’s a point to it, namely that Homer is doing his level best to fit in with the insane depictions of college in movies and teevee.  Homer isn’t just stumbling around because that’s what he likes to do, nor is he insisting on it because he’s an invincible cartoon character, he’s just got it in his head that zany schemes and pig abduction are par for the course.  He can’t comprehend that Dean Peterson (but you can call him Bobby) isn’t some crotchety old jerk who hates fun, or that the students don’t think it’s funny that the professor dropped his notes.  He doesn’t even realize the nerds are nerds until his family tells him.

The Jerkass Homer in “Kill the Alligator and Run” is just and only that: Jerkass Homer.  He’s not interested in acting out some strange media portrayal, he just wants to run around and scream and drink for the sake of running around and screaming and drinking.  So when it ends, he just keeps it up, dragging his family along for the ride.  It’s the difference between this (which, let’s remember, is just the starting point for more insane adventures):

Kill the Alligator and Run3

And let’s not even wonder where he got the airboat or why the rest of them are going along with this.

And this (which is a movie parody and occurs at the end of the episode):

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And, once again, Homer learns nothing.


Quote of the Day

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“It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Game Show Bribe

“Oh, very well, it’s time for your bribe.  Now, you can either have the washer and dryer where the lovely Smithers is standing, or you can trade it all in for what’s in this box.” – C.M. Burns
“The box, the box!” – Nuclear Inspector


Reading Digest: The Perils of Syndication Edition

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“Wow!  They’ll never let us show that again, not in a million years!” – Krusty the Klown

Assuming that pure joy expands in a circle at the speed of light, the echo of my unbounded glee at learning that reruns of The Simpsons would be on five days a week should be somewhere between Altair and Sigma Draconis by now.  In those dark days before DVDs, DVD rips, and bottomless hard drive platters, watching old episodes wasn’t easy to do, and the news that it would be on every weeknight (and sometimes on Saturday) was literally life changing.  All those episodes that I had only seen once or twice were suddenly going to be broadcast again and again, and that meant that I could watch them again and again.  These days I never watch the syndication runs, both because they’re hopelessly polluted with Zombie Simpsons and because having episodes on my computer is vastly more convenient.  But I recognize that I’m in the minority on how I watch, and this week we have two links to demonstrate that.  One to a television station that’s broadcasting good episodes in May, and another to someone who’s still shackled to the whims of the program directors.  We’ve also got pictures of that beaded Springfield, an awesome love song, plenty of excellent usage, and a Hans Moleman video. 


Perfectly Cromulent Analysis: Mr. Plow – Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week is a post on “Mr. Plow” by our old friend Andreas.  He extensively and rightly praises that excellent “Do you come with the car?” joke that still rings true nearly twenty years later.  Well worth reading in full. 

The Unofficial Smithers Love Song – Fan made song and video that contains 100% of your daily recommended amount of fuck yeah (via @springfieldx2). 

Electronic Arts Cancels ‘Dead Space 2’ Wii, ‘The Simpsons Game 2’ – A Simpsons related game I didn’t know was being developed has been cancelled. 

10 Best Female Voice Actors | Actors & Directors | Screen Junkies – Nancy Cartwright snags #1 here, but no one else from the show makes the cut.

The Simpsons Makes a Skit About Precious – Thanks go to Maggie C for sending in a link to this Tumblr site that noted Zombie Simpsons’ pathetic “Precious” dream sequence in “Love Is a Many Strangled Thing”.  My favorite comment got right to the point:

holy shit fuck you, simpsons

Simpsons town revealed in Forest Hills artist’s home – Pictures from the revealing of Forty Square Feet of Awesome.  The Disco Stu door prize is pretty cool.

Financial Lessons from the Final Four, Yoga, Homer Simpson, and Other Odd Sources – Prosaic advise courtesy of a copy and paste job at Time magazine.  They get the quotes right so it’s excellent usage even if it is banal to the point that Henry Luce’s corpse would blush if it still could. 

Everything I Know About Money, I Learned from Homer Simpson – And linked from the above is this, which doesn’t quote anything, but does mange to allude only to plotlines from Season 10 and earlier.

Grizzly Links: Stephen Colbert, David Lynch, The Simpsons, & a Midget in a Gorilla Costume – There’s some good stuff here, I’m especially fond of the Jaws painting (though shouldn’t one of them be on drums?).  Among the links is a montage of Hans Moleman clips, the first part is mostly from good seasons with a sprinkling of Zombie Simpsons, volume two reverses the ratio:

FOX legal will be calling in three, two, one . . .

Homer simpson Minecraft Skin – Exactly what it says.  Nicely done.

Searching for gluten-free food at Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville – Discussing watching baseball when your usual pleasures are denied you brings us this:

In a long-ago episode of “The Simpsons,” an on-the-wagon Homer sits silently sober at the ballpark while everyone around him enjoys cups of beer. After a few seconds of dead silence with his eyes wide open, Homer remarks: “I never realized how boring this game is.”

Excellent usage.

Mr Burns takes a nap – While I’m not a fan of crappy collector stuff, I am a fan of it being used creatively. 

Todays winners and Losers – From the “Losers” category:

The feeling when you get home and you flick to channel 4 and the simpsons end credits are on… gutted.

I used to hate that feeling. 

Future Finds: Computers (#74) – Speaking of creatively repurposing Simpsons stuff, this guy doesn’t sound like on of the five richest kings of Europe to me. 

Classic Simpsons In May – A UHF station in San Francisco will be running “rare” and “haven’t seen in years” episodes during the month of May, and by that they mean things from Seasons 1-10.  Fucking Zombie Simpsons has ruined syndicated Simpsons. 

Things That Will Always Guarantee Laughs – This is a list, and while I don’t agree with everything on it, this is true:

The Simpsons (seasons 3 to 8)

Oh Seasons 1 & 2, I will love you so much it will make up for the rest of the world’s indifference. 

The Origin Story – Reminisces, and a picture, of a 1990 Bart Simpson skateboard. 

Forbes Fictional 15: list – This list gets stupider every year.  How do you assign a worth to the dragon from The Hobbit?  And what the hell is Jeffery Lebowski doing on there?  He’s so poor he had to steal a million dollars from little urban achievers.  Oh, and Mr. Burns checks in at #12.

First Look: Doughnut Vault – There’s a new donut shop in downtown Chicago that sounds fantastic (albeit pricey).  This is poor usage, however:

Homer Simpson may have said it best when he called the doughnut sacrilicious.

The waffle that Bart tossed on the ceiling was sacrilicious.  The donut is just, “Mmmm” or “transcendent” (as translated by Lisa).

Release the Hounds – Silvio Berlusconi as Mr. Burns.  Heh. 

#1 of the 365 Things That Make Me Happy: The Simpsons – Ahem:

I absolutely adore The Simpsons and have ever since the shorts were used as bumpers on another favorite television show of mine; “The Tracy Ullman Show”. I know a lot of critics and fans say that the show isn’t as good as it used to be, and to some degree they are right. However, I feel that The Simpsons have given me so many great years of programming, that if they want to coast on a few episodes, I don’t mind a bit.

I used to say almost exactly that, then they kept on coasting for more than a decade.  But The Simpsons does always make me happy. 

Critics use The Simpsons to lampoon Mexico’s Slim – Somebody took out a newspaper ad in Mexico making fun of the world’s richest man, Carlos Slim, with “The Slimsons”.  Sadly, I was unable to find an image of the ad on-line. 

Weird science on the equator line – Wikipedia is skeptical of Lisa’s explanation of the Coriolis effect, but this is a first hand account of the strange things you can do at the equator, and it includes clockwise and counterclockwise draining.     

“The Simpsons” and Their Films – The image and the link from whence it came are something we’ve mentioned before around here.  But I want to wholeheartedly agree with this:

The more films I watch the more I notice that sometimes I’m approaching them backwards: I’ve often seen the parody before I’ve seen the picture itself. When I first saw Frank Capra’s It’s A Wonderful Life (1946), for example, I found it was quickly coloured yellow, as Homer Simpson’s take on George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) came to mind.

In fact, The Simpsons becomes consistently richer the more films I see. References to America’s cinematic heritage appear not only in episode-long treatments of certain pictures but also in the more fleeting echoes of a particular shot or character trait.

I’ve lost track of the number of movies I’ve watched specifically because they were mentioned on the show.  Last year that number included The Devil and Daniel Webster (thanks Andreas!), which was fantastic. 

Up and atom, veggie burger! – And finally, among an excellent looking recipe and much excellent usage is this:

It was only the Simpsons’ 7th season, so it still had writers who rolled out classic lines

Indeed.  (There’s also YouTube of “My eyes, the goggles do nothing!”.) 


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