“But Mom, if you take our cartoons away we’ll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots!” – Lisa Simpson
“Really? What kind of robots?” – Bart Simpson
Happy 20th Anniversary to “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge”! Original airdate 20 December 1990.
The Itchy & Scratchy bit at the beginning of “Loan-a-Lisa” was, to put it mildly, creatively bankrupt. It starts by spending forty-five seconds re-enacting “Up” with nary a joke in sight; that would be bad enough, but Zombie Simpsons then makes things even worse. Instead of ending with some kind of “Up” inspired violence (a balloon house falling on them, a giant blimp attack, a pack of remotely controlled dogs tearing them to pieces) it ends by repeating not one, not two, but three (3) scenes from previous Itchy & Scratchy episodes. In other words, they faithfully recreated “Up” until they could no longer directly copy the source material, then they copied something else. They couldn’t be bothered to come up with their own ideas, even derivative ones.
I know I said this last week, but it really does seem like they think developing new ideas is beneath them.
Mad Jon: You guys ready?
Charlie Sweatpants: Sure am, let’s get this over with so I can never think about this episode again.
Dave: Word.
Mad Jon: This was pretty bad.
How many inheritances does Grandpa have to give out?
Charlie Sweatpants: As many as need be between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable.
Dave: Two so far and it was only funny the first time.
Mad Jon: It pains me that we are now to the point they don’t even try to avoid re-doing premises.
Dave: No they sort of revel in it.
Faded glory and all that.
Charlie Sweatpants: Pretty much. That joke way back in Season 11 where Comic Book Guy comes on and says they did this already is looking better and better in hindsight. Now we don’t even get that.
Dave: They must think we’re stupid
Mad Jon: It’s probably more that they don’t care what we think or if we are stupid.
Dave: Well, that too.
Charlie Sweatpants: While we’re on the opening though, there are two excellent examples of painful joke stretching here. The small one is Bart mentioning how that won’t pay his vig, and then, because that line was so hard to come up with and didn’t last long enough, they cut to a shot of Jimbo in a conveniently placed window.
The second and much larger one was the whole deck of cards thing.
That Grampa’s hands shake so bad he can’t play cards is kinda funny, but then they ruin it by having Marge extend the gag for another ten seconds of tortuous screen time.
Mad Jon: I actually was physically embarrassed when that kept going.
That’s pretty rare for me with Zombie episodes, I usually just boil in anger.
Dave: You have a range of emotions as a human being.
Mad Jon: So I’ve been told.
Charlie Sweatpants: My "sympathy embarrassment" feelings for this show are pretty well numbed at this point.
Dave: Perhaps you will experience love next. But it sure as hell won’t be with Zombie Simpsons.
Charlie Sweatpants: He is married, you know.
Mad Jon: True, but in all fairness Teevee was my first love.
My wife was 15 years or so too late.
Charlie Sweatpants: Speaking of marriages, did you enjoy the condensed 45-second version of Up? I sure didn’t.
Dave: Ha.
No, that was miserable.
It just kept going and the payoff was nonexistent.
Pretty much like every other I&S in recent memory.
Charlie Sweatpants: No, it existed. It was just a rehash of about three other Itchy & Scratchys.
Mad Jon: That was really bad. Up made me feel things and stuff, the never ending I & S made me want to cry.
But not for the same reasons.
Charlie Sweatpants: There was another one like last year, albeit with a far more obscure film.
Mad Jon: Not that I cried at the opening of Up. No matter what any multiplex employee tells you.
Charlie Sweatpants: They are liars.
Dave: Jon, I share your secret shame.
Mad Jon: Not so secret anymore is it.
Dave: As long as we’re not flying to Holland and eating tulips.
Charlie Sweatpants: Now that was a movie parody. And I didn’t even need to suffer through "Sliver" to get the joke.
Mad Jon: What a delightful romp.
Charlie Sweatpants: In the spirit of good conversational transitions, Milhouse’s overly long rendition of "Hot Cross Buns" was another example of something that could’ve been funny if it had taken up about 10% of the screen time it actually did.
The first three words of that song was the joke, the next forty or so were just filler.
Mad Jon: Indeed, Milhouse’s girly behaviors can be wielded well, or poorly.
This was poorly.
Charlie Sweatpants: There was also Skinner’s whole 11-dollars-an-hour thing.
It was funny at first.
Then he ripped off his sleeves.
Mad Jon: Yeah, I was kind of checked out by then.
Charlie Sweatpants: Then Chalmers showed up.
Mad Jon: Oh yeah, then they argued about who saw it first.
That just kept going.
Charlie Sweatpants: It did provide them with a way to explain the bad epoxy to Nelson. Though why Skinner didn’t mention it sooner was left like a turd on a buffet table.
Continuing my transitional efforts, the Wiggum buffet scene also sucked, as did the whole "bag in danger" . . . motif? Action sequence? I’m not even sure what that was, but it lasted for a very long time and had a lot of string music of suspense.
Mad Jon: I was a bit confused as to what to call the returning items thing, was that just one extra mini-plot or are we talking B-plot sub a and sub b?
Because there was the bag thing, and the Homer stuff.
But I guess that is relatively unimportant.
Dave: Classification in this case is superfluous, yes.
Charlie Sweatpants: Well, it was unusual in that the b-plot started off as the a-plot, then it took a drastic left turn and became the b-plot.
Really, the guilty party here is us, because we’re using the word "plot" to describe things that have no resolution.
Dave: Also true.
Mad Jon: Bad student. Uh-uh-uh, bad principal.
Charlie Sweatpants: The "returning things" story was premised on the idea that Homer couldn’t afford these things, and at the end he got stuck with the bill (sort of) and nothing happened.
Mad Jon: And Chris Hhhaaaannnsooon was there too.
Charlie Sweatpants: Again, sort of.
Also, didn’t "To Catch a Predator" jokes get old about three years ago?
Mad Jon: Yep. Back when South Park did an episode about it.
Charlie Sweatpants: Sounds about right.
Pop quiz: which guest voice was more pointless, Yunus or Zuckerberg?
Dave: Both?
Charlie Sweatpants: Nice try, but it’s a trick question. There is nothing colder than absolute zero.
Mad Jon: Nice.
Dave: It’s cute that Zombie Simpsons wanted to tackle microfinance. But it’s way, way out of their league.
Charlie Sweatpants: Does that mean that there are still some things in their league?
Mad Jon: Play-dough?
Matchbox cars?
Finger painting?
…. that’s all I got.
Charlie Sweatpants: Jokes about when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they’re still covered with schmutz?
Dave: Sure, that.
Mad Jon: Look at that waxy buildup.
Charlie Sweatpants: So this thing has totally wasted guest voices, stretches jokes way too long (the couch gag was interminable), and repeats shit from old episodes.
Is that about it?
Dave: Wasted implies value. I’d call them pointless.
Charlie Sweatpants: Well put.
Mad Jon: Yep, potentially two or three shitty episodes cut short, except for where it would have helped, rolled into one 22 minute puke fest, sprinkled with old events redone, cook for 20 minutes at 150 and everyone dies from e-coli.
“No, make it a pie. Pies are easier to draw.” – Itchy & Scratch Animator
“Okay, a pie.” – Roger Meyers Jr.
After spending roughly seven weeks in the optical drive of my laptop, The Simpsons Movie is finally in the custody of the United States Postal Service and on its way back to Netflix. (Which means “Lies Make Baby Jesus Cry” should start for Season 13 in the next few days.) The second commentary was done by some of the animators and directors of the film, and while there is some interesting information in here, mostly it’s a blur of two ideas.
The first is, and coming from the other commentary this is no surprise, that there were many, many different versions of almost every scene. The constant reactions and overreactions to test screenings meant that lots of things that had already been animated were scrapped, and whole new sequences were jammed in, up to and including at the last minute.
The second is the term “beautifully animated” and variations thereof. Whatever else may be said about its timidity, its over-reliance on physical comedy, and its complete lack of anything that could be called a coherent story, The Simpsons Movie has a distinct and colorful look to its animation that served it well. This is, in many places, a very pretty film, and the animators are justifiably happy with how their work turned out.
The commenters here are David Silverman, Mike Anderson, Steve Moore, and Rich Moore. Since they don’t pause the movie, and since there’d be no point in my noting the many times they mention a specific animator and compliment their work, this one is a lot shorter than Part 1. So let’s get to it.
0:50 – Discussing Scratchy’s entrance, the animators were also looking for a big laugh when the audience recognized the character.
3:45 – Pointing out that all of the audience is made up of regular characters, no generic animations.
4:30 – More discussion about how many times all of these things got redone.
5:15 – Discussing another thing that got cut by test audiences: “It looked really good, and um, nobody laughed.”
7:00 – Discussing all the different people who did animation and layouts at two different studios.
12:00 – At this point I’m beginning to wonder if there’s use in doing this for the animation commentary. Basically they’re just mentioning who did a specific animation or background along with the occasional mention of whether or not something was redone after test audiences did or did not like it.
15:00 – Further underlining how much they got away from their usual editorial independence, someone asks how this was different than animating the show, and the answer is that they had to keep redoing things on account of rewrites.
18:30 – Here they’re discussing how they do transitions between all the completely unrelated scenes.
19:00 – Everybody loves Spider Pig.
19:45 – When they’re having Krusty, Cat Lady and Moe dump things in the lake, there was originally going to be a trunk labeled “Sperm Bank”, and then it would dump out furniture as a head fake. Just another example of things getting taken out that were more creative than the ones that got left in.
21:00 – The Fat Tony body dumping joke nearly got cut.
23:00 – This is about the third time they’ve mentioned that they had to make Homer less of a jerk. That’s right, he was even more Jerkass Homer earlier.
26:00 – Discussing Cargill, they had done a lot of revisions on his character and backstory, for two days it was going to be Hank Scorpio before none other than Albert Brooks talked them out of it.
28:05 – Once the dome is down they pull back for a wide shot of it, and if you look on the right you’ll see that the stadium is half in, half out of the dome. That’s because their used to be a joke about a baseball game half in, half out. (It’s on the deleted scenes.)
29:00 – Really glad they aren’t pausing the movie.
29:10 – More discussions of how many different Cargills there were.
30:00 – Springfield disappearing on the GPS had several fully animated sequences before it just became a little blip on the map.
31:00 – Long discussion about what the dome would look like and the reflections therein.
32:45 – Much talk about the massive pain that was the first shot with the mob and all the things they had to keep sending back to Korea to get reanimated.
34:00 – More discussion about the hands punching through the door. Jean talked about that on the other commentary, and, really, it was that much of a production?
34:30 – They cut out a scene where Lovejoy had gotten the mob to set the house on fire, which explains why the whole thing is on fire when Marge runs into it before they escape.
37:15 – The house going into the vortex on the sinkhole had so many people working on it that even these guys (for the most part) can’t remember who did what.
38:50 – As the family runs into the cornfield, they comment on how nice the corn looks before we find out again that something got cut here. Which is why this whole thing just disappears without explanation.
39:20 – Cargill’s line about going mad with power was one of the first things they animated (albeit with the original Cargill model instead). The line when it was Hank Scorpio: “You’re giving me that look. I know that look. You think I’ve gone mad with power.”
40:15 – Long discussion about how many things in the motel scene got changed, over and over.
43:00 – Oh, it’s my favorite scene, where Homer rides the motorcycle in the little ball. Not that any was needed, but we now have more confirmation that this thing was shoehorned in at the last minute.
44:50 – They did the doodles Bart does on the wanted poster in one day. It was just someone doodling and they used it.
45:45 – The token scene at Burns mansion was done Jonathan Demme style with everyone looking straight at the camera.
48:00 – They had a guy who worked for Don Bluth do the Disney animals that do the intro to the sex scene.
50:30 – The five plans Cargill presents was originally going to be a mystery box.
51:00 – Very half assed defense of the final quality of the film after all the rewrites. Someone actually uses the term “trust word”. Is that like “safe word”? Because BDSM is as good a metaphor as any for the perverse pain of this movie.
52:00 – Discussing Homer disappointing Marge and the family about going back to Springfield and how it was originally even worse, at one point the family attacked Homer and he had to dive out the window.
54:35 – Complimenting Kavner’s performance in the video tape scene that was discussed on the other commentary.
56:40 – The transition to the NSA building is yet another thing that used to be a lot longer.
57:30 – Talking about all the ins and outs and doubts about Homer’s hallucination.
58:35 – Unlike the writers, the animators actually have something to be proud of about the hallucination scene.
61:20 – Homer’s staggering through the snow is based on David Silverman acting it out in his office (without snow, of course).
62:30 – When Homer’s focusing his eyes like they were binoculars, one of the editors didn’t get it. He thought the binoculars were missing.
64:45 – Just like on the other commentary, they’re discussing the massive entrance scene they had planned for when the family wakes up in the dome.
68:00 – Now that we’ve gotten back to the dome, there are several discussions about things that they cut out, and a lot of those were animations that made things make a bit more sense, continuity wise.
70:30 – Long discussion about the police robot that commits suicide.
73:15 – They wanted to make the dome appear as big as possible.
75:20 – It was one of the animator’s ideas to include the ambulance on the gorge.
77:35 – In the background during the crowd celebration scene, Carl is acting like Lando Calrissian at the end of Return of the Jedi. I did not notice that.
79:00 – We’re in the credits now, and the little scene with Burns and Smithers was originally in the movie but got cut.
79:30 – More about how the Spider-Pig thing got bigger on account of Hans Zimmer.
82:25 – They’re still talking over the credits, but it’s mostly just shout outs to the names on the screen and discussion about how much work and or fun it was.
83:15 – Final interesting note: they decided to go with super widescreen instead of 1.85:1 very early after only a few test drawings.
“Well, Kent, to me the hijinks of a few comic characters absolutely pale in comparison with the crippling emotional problems a psychiatrist runs into every day. I’m referring here to women who love too much, fear of winning, sexaholism, stuff like that.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
“I don’t believe this. ‘I will never watch your show, buy any of your products, or brake if I see you crossing the street.’ Wow that’s cold. ‘Dear sleaze merchant’, aw come on, that hurts. . . . Gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken.” – Roger Meyers Jr.
Happy Birthday to Alex Rocco!
(Note: He’s a Feb 29th guy, so no actual birthday for him until 2012. But birthday wishes nonetheless.)
“I told you she was soft on full frontal nudity.” – Maude Flanders
Since we’re very lazy around here we have Google Alerts do most of our web research for us. Unfortunately when something like, oh, say, Marge being drawn into Playboy happens, it means that all of a sudden 95% of the on-line mentions of the Simpsons are about the exact same thing. What’s worse, and I’ll admit I didn’t notice until about the tenth time I saw it, is that everyone uses the word “posing”, as though a cartoon character can “pose” for anything.
Anyway, out of the whirling internet maelstrom of “Marge in Playboy” stuff this week, I’ve found only two items that are actually worth posting. In addition to that we’ve got some excellent usage, a little bit more stuff about Ortved’s book, and the most bad ass video game room of all time just got a little more bad ass.
Marge Simpson In Playboy Two Franchises On The Way Down – Pete Vonder Haar of the Houston Press finds this whole thing as stupid and ridiculous as I do, also he points out that the show sucks now with this delicious phrase:
Meanwhile, ratings for The Simpsons continue to decline, and a few years back the show passed the point where the number of mediocre/bad seasons officially outnumbered good ones (a subjective call, but one I’m comfortable making).
Very comfortable, pajamas with the feet comfortable. That was going to be the only Marge/Playboy link but then I found . . .
AFA TO 7-Eleven: DON’T STOCK SIMPSON PORN – . . . this. In what may be the only good thing to come out of the whole Marge/Playboy stunt, unctuous conservative groups are mad. Granted, they’re always mad. But now it’s (kinda) because of the Simpsons and I enjoy that (via Twitter).
Hugging Instructions? Yep. – Irrational panic of children has now reached the point where churches are distributing training documents on hugging. The ludicrousness of this reminded one commenter of Flanders. It’s perfectly quoted and plenty apt, excellent usage.
New Neighbor Moving Into Springfield – Apparently you can go to the official website and submit a character design, name and catchphrase and the winner will be in an upcoming episode of Zombie Simpsons. That’s right, they’re outsourcing.
That Timmy O’Toole Is a Real Hero! – Yeah this was caused because of that stupid balloon thing which I don’t care about, but it’s got a great YouTube video and eloquently praises “Radio Bart” and so I say bravo.
The Wolfman Cometh – If you’re going to complain about something, complain in Simpsons. Excellent usage.
Welcome to MattyBohlog! – Introducing a blog isn’t easy. Why not just pack it with Simpsons references?
New Game Room Addition (Rad Arcade Content) – This guy has one of the most kick ass video game rooms I’ve ever seen and now he’s added an old Simpsons arcade machine! If I had a room like that I would have a toilet installed and then never leave it. That is fucking sweet and, get this, he’s married! Sorry, ladies.
“Simpsons” Creator Will Curate ATP Festival Weekend – Groening will “curate” the ATP music festival in Britain in May. (via Twitter)
Word Wednesday: tmesis – Many words have come from The Simpsons. Tmesis is not one of them.
Funny thing about Michael Jackson’s episode – Jackson was already weird in the early 90s, who knew?
Will an anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes cost him the election? – This is just some basic information about the Burns for Mayor campaign that gets linked because I love that line and that is an excellent way to deploy it. Also, we’ll be issuing our endorsement editorial on Sunday, will we back Bloomberg?
Simmering Away – This has almost nothing to do with the Simpsons, though there is a screen grab of Lisa shilling for Al Gore’s book. I’m linking it because it links to our friends at Eye on Springfield, which everyone should click on from time to time for a chuckle.
Think The Worst Is Over? Think Again, VCs Say At Tech Showcase – The quote isn’t quite dead on, but it’s very close so I’m gonna call it excellent usage.
Voices – I am, quite obviously, the last person on earth who should get uppity about people stealing content, but if you’re going to start a new blog why – why – would you just copy and paste stuff from Wiki-fucking-pedia? The footnotes are still in it!
Simpsons MMA – And I get to end with a blogger who agrees with us. He’s complaining about how unimaginative “The Great Wife Hope” was and writes:
The Simpsons is past it’s prime and has grown preachy and up its own arse over the last five years or so. Though it’s still kicking fairly strong and immortalizing pop legends, the Simpsons needs that climactic final episode, maybe an hour long, to say it’s goodbyes.
Obviously we’d go farther back than five years, but other than that . . . yeah.
“Hello Marge, oh, what is S. N. U. H.?” – Helen Lovejoy
“Snuh.” – Marge Simpsons
“Oh.” – Helen Lovejoy
“It stands for Springfieldians for Non-violence Understanding and Helping. I’ve started a crusade against cartoon violence.” – Marge Simpson
In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “subconscious”).
This is maybe the shortest “Crazy Noises” post we’ve ever done for the simple reason that this was one of the most content free episodes of Zombie Simpsons in a while. Also, see the picture above for a comedy opportunity The Simpsons used and Zombie Simpsons (as we discuss below) ignored.
Charlie Sweatpants: So, did everyone actually watch this one?
Mad Jon: I did
Dave: I did too
Well, watch is unfair.
It was really just background noise
Mad Jon: It really did just barely exist
Charlie Sweatpants: You mean you didn’t give it your strictest attention so as not to miss the wall to wall humor?
Dave: Precisely.
Mad Jon: I can’t decide what pissed me off the most, but I am pretty sure it was the rhythmic gymnastics scene.
Charlie Sweatpants: Oh man, that went on forever.
Dave: One exchange stands out: “What’d I miss?” – Homer
“Ehh, nothing.” – Bart
Mad Jon: Specifically the noises Marge was making.
Dave: That was pretty bad, yeah.
Charlie Sweatpants: Last week’s was a hot mess, this was more of a cold mess. Yeah, it had a beginning middle and end (sort of), but nothing happened.
Mad Jon: Well the ending pissed me off, that at least was something.
Dave: Yeah, it’s amazing that they need 20 minutes to say nothing.
And they had the extended couch gag to fill up time, too.
Mad Jon: Wasn’t there a catch me if you can episode a few years ago?
Dave: Yeah, there was.
Can’t think of the name of it though.
Mad Jon: Did they think it worked so well it could also be a couch gag?
Or did they just forget?
Charlie Sweatpants: Wait, are you talking about that movie with Hanks and DiCaprio?
Mad Jon: yeah, they did a parody of that in an episode a few years ago.
And now they did a couch gag parody of it. At least that’s what I thought I saw.
Dave: I don’t know if it was a parody of that, but I see what you’re getting at.
Mad Jon: Of course the knowledge that I was about to watch an episode of Zombie Simpsons may have caused enough subconscious shock that I imagined the whole thing…
Dave: Either way, my point was that the gag, like much of the episode, just went on way too long. Add Marge’s training montage to that, too.
Mad Jon: Yeah that sucked.
They only attempted joke involved Akira not being Akira
Charlie Sweatpants: But it wasn’t strictly a montage, was it? It was more a collection of random scenes.
Dave: I was just going to admit to enjoying Akira’s appearance.
I guess it wasn’t a montage in the traditional sense, but you know what I meant.
Mad Jon: Yeah, it was a time filling montage, without awesome 80’s music.
Charlie Sweatpants: Here’s Tatum, here’s Akira, here’s Burns. The last one was particularly dim.
Mad Jon: Ugh,
Dave: Yeah, since when is Burns helpful?
Charlie Sweatpants: Since, like Homer, he became a prop and not a character.
Mad Jon: At least he used to be entertainng
Well put.
Why was Homer waving a Canadian flag?
Charlie Sweatpants: No idea.
Why did Marge walk right into the “septagon”?
Dave: I’m sure the pandering made some Canuck happy.
Mad Jon: I believe to put a stop to the fighting league whatever it was called.
Charlie Sweatpants: Why did the MMA guy offer to fight Marge?
Mad Jon: I think it was a wager of some sort
Dave: To end violence? Who knows.
Mad Jon: But I don’t remember what the terms were. Just that they were going to fight.
Dave: We’ve done sanctimonious Marge episodes before that were better executed, funny, and didn’t feel like you were having a root canal.
Charlie Sweatpants: Exactly.
Dave: Also, Tyranno-Vision is now just Jumbo-Vision. That made me sad.
Charlie Sweatpants: I didn’t even notice that.
That’s pretty bad.
Mad Jon: Me neither.
Dave: I don’t know why I remember that.
Charlie Sweatpants: Speaking of things that didn’t make any sense, what was with Homer’s weird freakout dream about Marge being crippled?
Mad Jon: I dunno, I must have missed that.
Dave: Same here.
Charlie Sweatpants: Don’t worry about it, like all rhetorical questions about Zombie Simpsons it has no real answer.
Mad Jon: Indeed. What is the sound of one episode sucking? If a Zombie writer falls down in the woods, does anyone care?
Dave: Heh.
How Zen.
Mad Jon: “ooOOOOooohh”
Charlie Sweatpants: So, uh, really is there anything to say about this one?
Dave: I feel like we’ve reached an impasse. There’s really not a whole lot more to say or criticize, is there?
Wow we almost typed the same thing
Mad Jon: I don’t know, there wasn’t anything remarkable about it. There were a few scenes that were worse than the others, but I would have a hard time ranking them.
Charlie Sweatpants: This one was less insane than last week’s but just as boring. How do you criticize a blank wall?
Mad Jon: You don’t. You pee on it and go back into the bar.
Charlie Sweatpants: Fair point.
Was there anything in here that didn’t suck?
Dave: Like I said, I kinda enjoyed Akira’s bit, but not much else.
Charlie Sweatpants: I was mildly amused by the scalper’s line about being a guy whose 200 friends didn’t show up, but that hardly made the whole thing worth my time.
Which reminds me, did you see the signs that Marge’s protest group was carrying?
Dave: Negative.
Mad Jon: Didn’t notice
Charlie Sweatpants: They weren’t event trying to be funny with them and a couple were actually the same.
They couldn’t even muster the imagination to come up with more than four fake sign slogans.
Mad Jon: That’s too bad.
Charlie Sweatpants: First year marketing students could do better.
I don’t think things like Homer sticking the straw into his own eye are funny, but at least they’re trying. So much of this one (and Zombie Simpsons in general) just doesn’t have anything that’s even attempting to be funny.
Like that bizarre Rocky III-ish last ten seconds with Bart and Lisa in the ring. Other than killing time, what was the point of that?
Mad Jon: That really sucked. At least they could have ended like Rocky, with the pause before the punch.
Dave: Hope that someone notices the Rocky-ness of the moment and says, “Hey, I get that?”
Charlie Sweatpants: I guess.
Okay, anything else, or can we be done?
Dave: Let’s be done.
Mad Jon: I got nothing, this one wasn’t even worth ripping on.
Charlie Sweatpants: See? Zombie Simpsons could learn from us. When we don’t have anything to talk about, we shut up.
This is the Sideshow Bob episode from Season 12 and by the rock bottom standards of Season 12 it’s not 100% terrible, more like 95% terrible. So while it has a couple of good lines (I like Bob asking to live in the storage unit) it’s still got a nonsensical plot that takes forever to get going; it stretches individual scenes past the breaking point in order to fill time, extensively uses the horns of suspense, and has no ending. Once again the commentators will laugh at a lot of these things.
Only six guys this time, I think that’s a record.
1:25: Talking about the fact that they’ve done so many Sideshow Bob episodes over the years that it’s getting hard to come up with ideas. No shit.
2:15: Congratulating themselves because they recorded this right after the show got picked up for Seasons 21 & 22. Ugh.
3:45: Long silence broken by lone laugh at a poodle.
4:20: To general laughter: “I love how executives are always trying to explain to you why Seinfeld worked.” What a common frame of reference, I’m sure all of the audience will get it, like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they’re still covered with schmutz.
5:05: Exciting back and forth here about whether or not the pony-tailed executive was based off of anyone. “No, not really.”
5:20: Laughing about how they had to stretch out some of these scenes to the last second. Guys, much as I appreciate the candor, I figured that one out all by myself a long time ago.
5:40: This is actually about the fifth time there’s been a twenty second or so silence. They’re just long enough so that you know there isn’t much going on, but just short enough not to merit me typing “long silence”.
5:45: Weak, awkward, and forced laughter at Marge saying that shows should go off the air before they get stale and repetitive. Ever had a senile relative spill a family secret (e.g. cousin Eddy isn’t really Uncle Walt’s son, your aunt was having an affair with the UPS man)? The truth hurts and all you can do is pretend to laugh.
6:00: Another medium silence. Uncle Walt doesn’t look too happy.
6:05: Explaining the origin of “Krustylu”, followed by more silence, followed by more weak laughter. Mostly silence.
7:00: Mildly interesting note: the plot about Sideshow Bob’s shows being lost is loosely based on the fact that a lot of the old Johnny Carson Tonight Shows weren’t recorded for budget reasons.
8:00: Long, pointless story about the fact that they don’t remember how Sideshow Bob was originally designed.
8:40: Laughing that they’re in a Gil heavy phase and have been since. Not a good thing.
9:20: Medium silence. Short pity laugh. Another medium silence.
10:20: Long silence.
11:35: Apparently the line, “Krusty, that’s the one man I would never kill!” always got a big laugh when they were making the episode. Personally, I like my exposition chewy and just a tad under cooked.
12:15: Laughing at the “cheat” of having the target spin and turn into a spiral.
12:50: Medium silence.
12:55: Yeardly Smith just showed up in the comment room putting us up to seven people and breaking the record of having only six. Oh well.
13:55: Discussion of the original “Manchurian Candidate” and general laughter at what little is going on in the episode.
15:30: Long, long silence.
17:25: More Johnny Carson discussion.
18:15: Laughter, “ah, that’s a great joke.” Scintillating.
18:30: Plugging Yeardly Smith’s book.
19:30: Book discussion finally ends. Can’t say we missed much on the actual episode.
20:00: Medium silence.
20:20: Pointing out that it makes no sense for Bart to – oh so gradually – approach Krusty, someone notes that, “Security is very lax.” Amongst other things.
21:20: “Now this ending was kind of a last minute.” Aren’t they all? “I think we did leave it a little hanging.” Ya think?
“How many times can you laugh at that cat getting hit by the moon?” – Marge Simpson
“It’s a new episode.” – Bart Simpson
“Not exactly… they pieced it together from old shows, but it seems new to the trusting eyes of impressionable youth.” – Lisa Simpson
Guess what? We’re only 54 days away from the premier of Season 21 and there’s already news of an episode of Zombie Simpsons that will coincide with next year’s Winter Olympics. For the uninitiated, the 2010 games will be taking place somewhere in Canada, also known as America Junior (or America’s hat, if you prefer.) And the subject for this episode? Why it’s curling, of course!
Let’s trudge through the pertinent “plot” points as reported by the CBC:
Beyond the obvious banality of the story, it’s also worth noting that Zombie Simpsons basically did this episode in Season 12. Just replace “curling” with “tennis” and “Skinner and Agnes” with “Serena and Venus Williams, Pete Sampras, and Andre Agassi” and you’ve got the forgettable “Tennis the Menace.” Sure, the parings are slightly different, but we’re splitting hairs here. Expect a contrived, flimsy setup that will lead Marge and Homer to the Olympics or some similar competition and a schmaltzy, feel good ending where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.
Naturally, Canucks will enjoy the show and apologist fanboys will swoon, leaving everyone else with a shred of intellect to see this episode for what it is: pandering at its finest and yet another example of how far the apple has fallen from the tree. Not only is Zombie Simpsons routinely – and poorly – rehashing content from The Simpsons, it’s now sucking itself off and dumping a steaming hot load on its own face. Tremendous.
(Note: there was a NSFW picture associated with this post, but we’ve decided to let you use your imagination instead. Need help getting started? Here’s a list of sexy search terms that have led people to our charming blog.)
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(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken