Posts Tagged ‘Lisa The Simpson


Quote of the Day

“That makes twenty-two to sixteen.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Wesley, get Momma’s pryin’ bar.” – Mrs. Wiggum


Quote of the Day

“My name is Lisa Simpson. I’m supposed to talk to you about Proposition 305.” – Lisa Simpson
“Moochin’ war widows.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Mr. McClure, what does D.N.A. stand for?” – Billy

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lisa the Simpson”! Original airdate 8 March 1998.


Scrounging for Praise

“This is your great uncle Chet. Go ahead, Chet, tell her what you do.” – Homer Simpson
“I run an unsuccessful shrimp company.” – Chet Simpson
“Oh. But you run it, right?” – Homer Simpson
“Oh yeah.” – Chet Simpson

I’m aware that there was a new Zombie Simpsons this week, but I’m out here in the desert helping a friend put a roof on his (second!) kickass, off-the-grid solar house. That’s it in the above picture, and as you can probably guess by the remoteness, internet access here is spotty at best. So I’m probably not gonna get to “Caper Chase”.

Despite my relative isolation, I did catch this tweet from Al Jean the other day:

As you can see from the above, the linked article contains quite a few sign gags, which I’ve long said are about the only thing the show still manages to sometimes do somewhat well. But what really caught my attention was the introduction:

The Simpsons is the longest-running sitcom of all-time – now at 27 seasons (and counting). And, as most “classic Simpsons” fans will attest, the show lost its footing around season 10 and 11 and never recovered, turning into a pale imitation of itself.

They go on to say that Zombie Simpsons is “pretty hilarious”, which I obviously think is a massive overstatement. But I can’t help but find it funny that Jean is willing to twitter brag about an article whose very premise is that Zombie Simpsons isn’t nearly as good as The Simpsons.

Ultimately, this is obviously very minor, but I enjoy the way that the bar has been so lowered for Zombie Simpsons that “pale imitation” is now considered a kosher description by the people who put out the show.


Quote of the Day

“So, all the Simpson women turn out okay?” – Lisa Simpson
“That’s right, sweetie, the defective Simpson gene is on the Y-chromosome, so only men are affected.” – Dr. Simpson, Chief of Complicated Surgery at the Invasacare Clinic


Quote of the Day


“Authorities believe the wave of towel snappings will get worse before it gets better.” – Kent Brockman


Quote of the Day


“Maybe I can’t concentrate because of all your cooties!” – Lisa Simpson
“It’s called lice, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” – Milhouse van Houten


Quote of the Day

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“Dear Log, Can it be true?  Do all Simpsons go through process of dumbening?  Wait, that’s not how you spell dumbening?  Wait, dumbening isn’t even a word.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

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“Oh, Lisa’s right; we’re nothing but a big bunch of losers.  Show’s over, folks.  Go home.” – Homer Simpson
“What about our five bucks?” – Unsuccessful Simpson Male
“You get it after you leave.  Now get out of here!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Lisa the Simpson12

“You look pretty successful.” – Homer Simpson
“Thanks.  I play a millionaire at parties . . . at least, I’d like to.” – Male Simpson Relative


Quote of the Day

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“I’m looking for something in an after dinner burrito.” – Homer Simpson
“You’ll have it in forty-five seconds, sir.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon


Behind Us Forever: The War of Art

Chalkboard - The War of Art

“Oh, Kenny, look at the interplay of light and shadow.  It’s so luminous and vibrant!” – Lisa Simpson
“Thanks, Lisa, I painted that one.  The real one’s in my garage.” – Kenny the Museum Guard

If there is one topic on which Zombie Simpsons has a thorough and well practiced knowledge, it is imitating great art.  That didn’t help them keep “The War of Art” from being a meandering, exposition filled wasteland, of course, but it does add a nice level of unintentional meta-irony that will help you through what passes for the third act.  By the time Max von Sydow shows up to talk about the beauty of his forged work, there’s about four different subplots bumping along, two of which kind of even get resolved.  In the meantime, it’s mostly yelling, some gasp inducing plot twists, and the now standard pages of exposition.

First Lisa gets a guinea pig, an opening act that is mostly filler occasionally punctuated by meaningless suspense.  Then the Simpsons have to get a new painting for behind the couch.  They buy one from the van Houtens, which turns out to be valuable, which in turn means that they could or could not split the money, which leads to disputes over ownership, which leads Homer and Lisa to an island resort with a brain rotting alcohol that I would dearly love to have been drinking while I watched this.

– No couch gag this week?  They must have so much good stuff that they didn’t have time for it.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.

– Homer is reading text we can clearly see on the screen.  Zombie Simpsons, now with built in closed captioning.

– This guinea pig selection scene is going on so long that even the show got bored with it.

– This guinea pig escape/chase scene is also very long, but opts for sheer nonsense and fake suspense over repetition.

– We went through all that to get the painting ruined?  Jebus.

– The fake Wikipedia table of contents is actually pretty good.  It’s got sex, death, betrayal, poison and a more coherent story than the rest of the episode.

– Homer has been repeating the word “Whoa” for fifteen seconds now.

– It ended up going for twenty-six.

– As the same conversation bleeds into about an eighth scene, Marge straight up asks Homer how he feels about the plot.

– “And all I have to do is not say something about some painting to my Mom and Dad?” – Milhouse recapping what you’ve just seen for the umpteenth time.

– And, as if to underline what a waste of time all that was, the van Houtens show up right away and have a boring fight with Homer and Marge.

– This episode is so herky-jerky that they just moved the plot along by someone yelling, unironically, “Stop the auction!”.

– The auctioneer bears a disturbing resemblance to the guy who nicked some of Homer’s sugar pile.

– After a brief expository scene between Homer and a once-again-kicked-out-of-the-house Kirk, Marge explains to us what’s been happening . . . twice: “That painting has torn the town apart, destroyed Kirk and Luann’s marriage, and everyone’s very worried about Milhouse” and then, “That picture has brought out the worst in everyone!”.

– Oh, good, we’re on a tropical island and Lisa brought her guinea pig in a travel cage.  Thought they forgot about that little guy, didn’t you?

– Man, this island has a massive oversupply of conveniently expository characters.

– One of whom quickly took Homer and Lisa back to his house!  Seamless!

– Homer, trying to speed things up, “Then why did the auction house say it was real?”  Nothing says good writing like directly asking a character we just met to explain everything as blandly as possible.

– Guh, this guy just keeps going on and on.  Now he’s debating Lisa about beauty and art.  Isn’t this show supposed to be a comedy?

– Max von Sydow narrating the history of “Strupo” over the credits has some actual jokes in it.  I don’t often offer suggestions to Zombie Simpsons because there’s nothing worse than a back seat driver, but they maybe should’ve put some of those in his actual part.

Anyway, the ratings are in and they continue to be the kind of rock bottom we’ve come to expect from springtime Zombie Simpsons.  Last night, just 3.93 million viewers wondered why kind of sloppy forgery of The Simpsons they were watching.  That’s the fourth lowest total ever and means that six of the ten least watch, including #1-4, are all from this season.


Quote of the Day

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“Very nice, Janie.  Good use of pipe cleaners, Becky.  Don’t open it, Ralph.  I’ll just give you a C-minus.” – Ms. Hoover
“Yay!” – Ralph Wiggum


Quote of the Day

Lisa the Simpson9

“Son, I represent a group of oil tycoons who make foolish purchases.  We already bought us a stained glass bathrobe and the world’s fattest racehorse.  Now we need your ice man.” – Rich Texan
“Oh, no, I could never sell him.  He’s like a frozen father to me.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“How much for just the head?” – Rich Texan


Quote of the Day

Lisa the Simpson8

“What do you do, Dr. . . Simpson?” – Homer Simpson
“Doctor?” – Lisa Simpson
“That’s right, I’m chief of complicated surgery at the invasa-care clinic.” – Dr. Simpson


Reading Digest: Artistic Crossover Edition

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“Aw, they just came for the buffalo wings.  But you really got through to me.” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, good.  I figure, if you’ve got something special to say, you have to share it with the world.” – Jazz Musician
“Yeah, while you still can.  Thanks.” – Lisa Simpson
“Damn, that felt like a sale.” – Jazz Musician

This week’s Reading Digest is loaded with Simpsons inspired pieces of creativity.  We’ve got everything from a small drawing to a gigantic sand sculpture, as well as cheap laughs and honest-to-Jebus highfalutin music of the choral and jazz varieties.  There’s also a chance to see Dan Castellaneta live (if you’re in Los Angeles tonight), more reviews and pictures about the post-apocalyptic Simpsons play (the free tickets have been claimed, and we should have a review soon), Duplo Legos(!), lists, YouTube, excellent usage, a new Harry Shearer album, and I haven’t even mentioned Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week yet.  Some weeks the internet is generous; this was one of them.


Momentos de cine (40) – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is in Spanish, but that doesn’t matter.  It’s an amazingly comprehensive shot for shot comparison between “Treehouse of Horror V” and The Shining.  You don’t need Google Translate to understand that, and, there’s a ton more.  Viva Actualidad Simpson!  (And thanks to reader Stephen for sending this in.) 

Opening Night: The Improvised Musical! w/ Dan Castellaneta & Deb Lacusta – Attention L.A. readers!  Castellaneta is performing in this, tonight in Los Angeles:

OPENING NIGHT: THE IMPROVISED MUSICAL!® is exactly that: a Broadway-style musical that is made up on the spot, based on audience suggestion. So every night is the `Opening Night’ of a musical that has never been seen!

As near as I can tell, this is one night only, tickets are $25, and it’s a small theater so you’ll be up close and personal if you decide to go.  (Thanks to Elizabeth from iO West for the e-mail.) 

Fountains of Wayne, Dr. John and Other Guest On New Harry Shearer CD – Castellaneta isn’t the only one keeping busy.  Harry Shearer is releasing a new album.  It promises to be awesome:

• "Macondo" (Rob Brydon, vocals; Bruce Gaitsch, guitar; Chris Tedesco, trumpet; Shearer, bass; CJ Vanston, track): The song is written from the vantage point of the BP Petroleum executive who famously wanted his life back after the oil spill. Singing on the Randy Newman-esque track is Welsh actor/comic Rob Brydon, known for co-starring with Steve Coogan in "The Trip."

Rob Brydon as Tony Hayward?  Can we start filming the movie now, please?   

Song Premiere: Harry Shearer’s ‘Celebrity Booze Endorser’ feat. Fountains of Wayne – And here you can listen to one of the other songs, which the above link describes thusly:

• "Celebrity Booze Endorser" (Harry Shearer, vocals; Fountains of Wayne, guest band): Shearer came to love the title phrase when Variety reported Madonna had joined the ranks of celebrity booze endorsers.

Jazz Columns: Brandon Wright: Thanks to Matt Groening (and Lisa Simpson) – Awesome:

Brandon Wright: Well, the funny story there is when I was eight years old The Simpsons was just being aired in its first season and the character Lisa Simpson, who they made a saxophonist…in the very first season they had her paired up with the jazz musician “Bleeding Gums Murphy”; this is over twenty years ago now. They sing this Blues song together and in the lyrics she says that she is in the second grade and I was in the second grade when The Simpsons came out and I just found her extremely relatable because she could have been my peer in real life and at eight years old you just have such an imagination that I just thought she could be my friend ‘cause she plays the saxophone and it would be so cool. I just knew when band came around that I would want to play the saxophone.

You have no idea how unique that story is!

I still need to write Matt Groening and all of the creators of the show. Thank you. I keep saying I am going to do it and then I put it off, so that’s something I need to do. I did meet the composer, Alf Clausen of the show as well as Terry Harrington, who plays the baritone sax.

Good things continue to flow from The Simpsons, even if Zombie Simpsons ain’t one of ’em.

The Westminster Choir offers a magical marriage of music and memory – Choral music inspired by the Simpson family:

From there, the music was all-American, while remaining mostly attuned to the concept of how each of us is a product of our particular native environment, and, via memory, how we remain forever attached to and influenced by it. A humorous, yet touching aspect of said concept was expressed in three short excerpts from Paul Crabtree’s Five Romantic Miniatures from The Simpsons — yep, you got it, the same Simpsons that we’ve all watched on TV in recent decades. One of the pieces raved about Marge’s winning ways with pork chops; another (“Marge, I need you”) was a tender declaration of love: something that can even bind satirical cartoon characters.

I couldn’t find video of that choir, but I did find at least part of it being performed by a college choir:

Sadly, lyrics were not to be found.  Skip to about the 1:45 mark for the Marge/Pork Chops part.  (Here’s another video of the same choir with a different performance.)

Maggie Simpson by ~snowbloodqueen on deviantART – Charcoal?  Pencil?  I don’t know squat about drawing, so I can’t say, but that is a nicely stark looking Maggie.  Bravo. 

Iowa landfill fire likely to last until next week – Not quite twenty-five years, but:

City officials say their main strategy remains to let the fire burn out on its own, but they are considering other methods such as specialized wetting agents and burying burning tires with ground cover.

A week later it’s still going (thanks to reader David for sending this one in).

FIESA SAND SCULPTURE FESTIVAL in PORTUGAL – I’ve linked sand sculptures here before, but I don’t think I’ve seen this one.  I have no idea how Marge’s hair is standing up. 

NUReviews Episode 6: The Simpsons Arcade Game – A mix of live action and game footage YouTube review. 

Richard Ford–”The Bank Robbery” [excerpt from Canada] (Harpers, June 2012) – A librarian reviews a Phish live set:

Similarly, “Wilson” takes a really long time to get going, including a nice little nod to “The Simpsons” in the intro.  And then there’s a really long pause before the “blap boom” part comes in.  It’s a fun version of the song.

From Shearer to jazz to choir music to Phish, that about covers it. 

Mermaids Embodies the Rotting Carcass of Science TV – Amidst shredding a pathetic Animal Planet show that purports to prove the existence of mermaids (yes, you read that correctly), the debunker invokes Sideshow Bob:

But rather than being a hook for communicating actual science, Mermaids was a sensationalistic end in itself. The show was meant to titillate and deceive – yet another bit of noxious rot in what I have often called television’s bottomless chum bucket (hat-tip to Sideshow Bob). I’m sure Animal Planet would defend itself by saying that it issued a disclaimer, but clearly viewers either tuned out or just didn’t pay attention. When a science fiction show, dressed up as a documentary, presents the “Dramatic Re-Enactment” caveat at the bottom of some scenes, it’s not surprising that some viewers were confused about what they were actually seeing.

At least Vanessa Redgrave wasn’t involved. 

Congressman cites Homer Simpson, hockey player on House floor – A little Simpsons infused spat between a Congressman and some watchdog group. 

We Love Arts: Mr. Burns, a post-electric play – Another glowing review of the apocalypse play.  Click through for a couple of pictures, including what I think are Itchy & Scratchy dancing with Sideshow Bob in the distant future.

The Survival of ‘The Simpsons’ – More nice press for “Mr. Burns, A Post Electric Play”.  This one has a great picture of Future Sideshow Bob/Burns. 

Mr. Burns, a Post-Electric Play: When society crumbles, we’ll still have The Simpsons – Yet more fawning words, and these even manage to agree with us:

Yes, it’s never again been as good as its early-’90s pinnacle, blah blah blah. If my abiding affection for the show is now largely nostalgic, well, that’s kind of Washburn’s point.

The Simpsons – Lego Duplo versions of all five family members.  

Paul Lewis: Boxing circus hits new low – Moderate usage from New Zealand in regards to a “boxing” match between two “glamour models”:

These two "glamour models" (is there any other kind … ?) might be models though the glamour is elusive. Ridge is known only for briefly being Sonny Bill Williams’ girlfriend and Arkle for being in that reality show of couth and breeding, The GC – though her website reveals that she was once in a TV commercial for Munchos and featured in Zoo Weekly’s Best Bum competition 2011. Ah, the glamour …

But back to The Simpsons – in one episode, the series’ misanthropic millionaire, Montgomery Burns, was shot and the pompous TV newsreader said: "Local autocrat Montgomery C Burns was shot, following a tense confrontation at Town Hall. He was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then taken to a better hospital where his condition was upgraded to alive."

At this stage, you’d have to say that boxing, which regularly touches new lows presaging death by its own hand, could be pronounced dead in this country with this bout.

The quote is slightly garbled, Brockman actually says, “At 3pm, Friday, local autocrat C. Montgomery Burns was shot, following a tense confrontation at town hall.  Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead.  He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to alive.” But it’s still good enough for moderate usage. 

Pliny The Elder and Citizen Kane – A discussion of beer takes a turn:

The truth is that most of you probably will not have seen the movie.

That doesn’t matter. The influence of damn near every scene in the movie is culturally omnipresent. If you’ve seen the first six seasons of The Simpsons, you have more or less seen Citizen Kane. Monty Burns is basically Charlie Kane. His bear, Bobo is Rosebud. His hound-releasing estate is Xanadu. The show references it with an almost maniacal fervency. Charles Foster Kane. C Montgomery Burns. Smithers even organizes a song and dance tribute to Mr. Burns that’s basically identical to the original.

The first time I watched Citizen Kane was head spinning in the number of things I recognized from the show. 

2012 Saturn Awards: Special Achievement Awards Recipients Announced – The show is getting another award.  It goes almost without saying, but it’s a lifetime achievement type deal, not for anything specific Zombie Simpsons crapped out. 

How to land your dream job in tech – Ouch:

You know that a trend has run its course when you see a parody of it on the long running cartoon series The Simpsons.

Why this "Old" Company Might Deserve a Place in Your Portfolio – Excellent usage from a financial guy:

Whenever I hear the term "buggy whip," I think of Homer Simpson’s boss, Charles Montgomery Burns, the billionaire character in "The Simpsons" whose quirks lampoon the attitudes of the robber baron class of America’s Gilded Age. One of my favorite bits in the cartoon is when some of Mr. Burns’ portfolio holdings are mentioned: Amalgamated Spats, Transatlantic Zeppelin, U.S. Hay, and "the up and coming" Baltimore Opera Hat Co. If these had been real companies, then I’m certain they’d be shown the dustbin of history by now.

But what about the Congreves? 

The most shocking TV deaths – in videos – Maude Flanders is on here.  That is all. 

The simpler life as a Simpsons character. – The lighter and practical advantages of being a Simpsons character. 

Thieves steal grease; slip away – You can’t commit that crime without someone using it as an excuse to post a Simpsons video. 

27 Funny Vehicles From the Simpsons – There’s a few Zombie Simpsons examples on here, but not many. 

"Helen": Not as sweet as she looks – Excellent usage:

Yeah. I can’t believe I went for the towel in the middle of a Benchmark. That was like when Homer Simpson was in that giant-steak-eating contest, and they yelled "Go," and the first thing he did was start buttering a dinner roll.

"Homer!" Marge called out. "Don’t fill up on bread!"

Marge actually says, “No, Homer”, but that’s okay. 

Poll names Anchorage residents worst-dressed – There’s no real point to this story, but if you click through you can see a picture of a guy’s Simpsons themed bowtie. 

The Most Lovable Geek Heros in Pop Culture History – A pagewhoring slideshow of famous pop culture geeks includes Lisa. 

Greatest TV Theme Tunes: Friday Fiver – Exactly what it says, with YouTube. 

Fun w/ The Simpsons in Spanish. – I chuckled. 

Side Show Bob Organic Catnip Cat Toy Plush With Crinkle Sound – Vegan Salvaged Eco Friendly Materials – I can’t say for sure that this is the Etsy-est thing to ever Etsy, but it’s gotta be close.

Mike Brady avoids upset, reaches Pop Culture Dad final four – Give Tampa Bay Online credit, their Father’s Day tie in is a tournament of famous fictional Dads.  Sadly, Homer lost to Atticus Finch. 

Nostalgia Critic: Top 11 Simpson Episodes – And finally, I get to end the way I like to, with someone who agrees with us.  In this case, it’s one of the best known geeks on the internet, that guy with glasses: 

Goddamn it!  It’s still on?

Sort of.  Whatever it is, it ain’t The Simpsons.  Thanks to everyone who e-mailed this in, and special thanks because literally every one of you prefaced it by saying something like “you’ve probably been e-mailed about this already”. 


Quote of the Day

Lisa the Simpson6

“We now return to ‘When Buildings Collapse’ on Non Stop Fox!” – FOX Announcer


Quote of the Day

Lisa the Simpson5

“This is crazy.  Just because you and Dad and Bart went downhill doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen to me.  Does it?” – Lisa Simpson
“Sure.  But it doesn’t mean you can’t live a long and pointless life.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson


That Is So 1991

“Please alter my pants as fashion dictates.” – Jasper (as read by Homer Simpson)

Last month, when I was taking all those frame grabs of the seated Cerberus that was the three housewives from “Moms I’d Like to Forget”, I was struck by how modern and colorful their outfits were compared to Marge’s.  The next week I noticed something similar in “Flaming Moe”.  Characters who’ve been around a long time, like Smithers and Patty, look really out of place next to the one-and-done guests.  The more I thought about it, the more it occurred to me that this happens in almost every episode.  They come up with some one off character or just have a celebrity on, and s/he looks wildly different than the long time characters in the same shot. 

This is another example of how you can’t keep the show from aging, even if you nominally keep the characters from aging.  Characters that were originally designed to catch the eye in low definition at a time when televisions were a lot smaller don’t scale up well to HD resolutions.  The basic character models (Marge’s green dress, Homer’s white shirt, etcetera) are big on solid colors and low on minute detail.  But new characters, who are supposed to be twenty-first century Americans, can’t be drawn the way the Simpsons are, it would look terrible.  Instead they animate new characters as realistically as possible and just ignore the clashing styles. 

Patty's Out of Style

Look at Patty’s clothes compared to the gay dudes.  Her dress is flat and monochromatic, their clothes are colorful and detailed.  Look at the shoulders, buttons and belt of the guy in white.  Look at the knotted sweatshirt; look at the precise lines of the pockets on the green pants.  The three of them are massively more detailed than she is. 


Here we can see the same thing with Marge and the Anitas.  They gave Marge as many different dresses as they could (examples), but when they use her standard outfit they’re stuck with these radically clashing styles.  The clothing is obvious enough, but it extends even to the accessories.  Two of the Anitas are wearing necklaces that look kind of like the necklaces real women wear everyday.  Next to those, Marge’s necklace is painfully cartoony.  There’s nothing wrong with cartoony in and of itself, but it looks more than a little out of place next to the more realistic drawings.

This sort of thing happens all the time on Zombie Simpsons, and it’s only gotten worse since the changeover to HD.  Unfortunately for us, there’s nothing they can do about it even if they wanted to.  The audience accepts Marge in that uniform green dress, but if you drew other characters with the same simplicity it would look childishly primitive.  And it’s not like they can change the way the main characters look, doing so would risk a New Coke level disaster. 

They compensate by putting old characters in different clothes far more often than they did back in the before time, in the long long ago.  Just this season we’ve seen Homer wear a sweater for most of an episode as well as go undercover for the bulk of another.  Lisa’s spent significant time in school and baseball uniforms.  But those sorts of temporary dodges can’t change the basic character models.  They’re stuck with the fact that the default costumes for all of the main characters, and most of the secondary ones, aren’t designed for modern animation, and clash badly with newer characters that are. 


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