Posts Tagged ‘Lisa’s Sax


Makeup Quote of the Day

“If you nurture her gift now, there’s no telling what she can do.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor
“Wow, just think of the possibilities.” – Homer Simpson
“Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Prize.” – Dream Announcer
“Nah.” – Homer Simpson
“Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Prize . . . for kickboxing.” – Dream Announcer


Quote of the Day

“Mrs. Simpson, physically your son is as sound as the dollar. I’m afraid Bart’s severe emotional dysfunction stems from deep seated psychological trauma.” – Dr. Hibbert


Quote of the Day

“Well, sir, I hate to be a Suspicious Aloysius on you, but did you steal my air conditioner?” – Ned Flanders
“Well, I admit it looks bad, Flanders. But haven’t you heard of, ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’?” – Homer Simpson
“Got him, Dad!” – Rod Flanders


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Next I’ll tell you the origin of Maggie’s pacifier!” – Homer Simpson
“What origin? We get ’em for a dollar ninety-five down at the Safeway.” – Marge Simpson


Behind Us Forever: Mr. Lisa’s Opus

♫”Disco Duck and Fleetwood Mac…” – Homer Simpson
“Coming out of my 8-track…” – Marge Simpson
“Michael Jackson still was black!
Those were the days!”♫ – Homer & Marge Simpson

Zombie Simpsons has a longstanding pattern of running the few good jokes they come up with into the ground. Occasionally they will also get positive reviews (from less forgiving outlets than this one) for more non-traditional episodes (the Lego one comes to mind). This week these two long standing traits collided into the jumbled mess that is “Mr. Lisa’s Opus”.

Back in Season 23, they did “Holidays of Future Passed” where they flashed forward to a time when Bart and Lisa had become parents. It allowed them to break out of the maddeningly familiar confines of present day Springfield and garnered some praise. They tried something similar in Season 27 with “Barthood”, which starts with Bart as a small child and progresses into his adulthood. It didn’t get as much attention, but when you’ve got 22 episodes to make per season, any gimmick is worth trying a third time, and so we now have the Lisa version of “Barthood”.

Confusingly, the episode starts with a flashback, then flashes forward to the future, then retells itself chronologically from the flashback, except for another flashback that breaks that up. If that sounds unnecessary and complicated, that’s because it is. I was reminded of the “Move Star” episode of Archer where Cyril tells Mallory, “You can’t have a flashback with a flash forward in it, that’s bad writing.” Indeed, it is.

– We begin with Homer expositing a flashback (labeled “7 years ago…”) by telling us that baby Lisa saying things makes her smart then expositing his own daydream with a dancing Einstein.

– And we flash forward from that to Lisa typing on a hologram (and a subtitle informing us it’s now “17 years later…”). She’s narrating a Harvard admissions letter, which leads to an incredible triple-repeat exposition within another flashback:

Flashback Future Lisa: I was born with one great advantage, a family that never made anything easy, never more than on my seventh birthday.
Flashback Future Lisa Flasback: It’s my birthday! Seven years old! I’ll wear my favorite blue dress. [dress disintegrates] I’ll wear red, just for today. It’s my birthday!

Was it her birthday? I missed it.

– I should also note that there was a stretch of a joke in there that did kinda have a decent punchline. In the flashforward, Bart is 20 and Homer is strangling him, which leads to Bart admitting he didn’t vote, which leads to Homer chastising him for enabling fascism, which leads to an offscreen “must stop President Kid Rock”.

– In the past, Marge gives Maggie a pacifier for the first time, which leads to an extended (and I mean *extended*) sequence where Marge can’t pull it out. Yay for dialog free filler! (Also, everyone has apparently forgotten Lisa’s birthday.)

– There’s a scene where Principal Skinner hallucinates about his mother. It took some time.

– Homer figures out that it’s Lisa’s birthday, and for some reason they put candles in a bowl of cheerios. Weird.

– Now we’re flashing back forward to eighteen-year-old essay writing Lisa, and it’s apparently also her birthday. Then Luigi walks up from out of nowhere along with a kid from the flashback.

– After the commercial, Bart comes in and Leon Kompowski is there to add some intentionally crappy extra verses to the birthday song. They even brought back Kipp Lenon, the guy who did Michael Jackson’s singing in “Stark Raving Dad”. Lisa eventually checks her watch out of boredom. I check and notice we’re only 1/3 through. Ugh.

– Next, flash forward Lisa flashes back again, this time to her 14th birthday. 14-year-old Lisa gets off the school bus holding a tower of presents because sure, why not? Ralph pokes his head out of a curiously missing window, exposits for a while (he’s still in second grade) and manages to end with this episode’s second and final half decent joke, “I’m growing a mustache under my long nose”. Get it, cuz he’s in puberty? It’s not great, but I’ll take what I can get.

– With no room for her stack of presents, Lisa goes to put them in Marge’s closet and discovers a packed suitcase and a letter to Homer. For reasons unknown, the letter begins talking to Lisa, begging her to read it. She does, and finds out that Marge is going to leave Homer through the power of flashback-flashforward-flashback^2-exposition.

– The next two scenes are in the kitchen and then at dinner where we continue to learn that Marge is going to leave Homer. Inside of that is Lisa fantasizing about attending Harvard, though for some reason her dream boyfriend is a dick and then the buildings fall down.

– At Moe’s, Moe has robot spider legs. Yeah, yeah, that’ll eat up some time.

– Okay, stick with me here, Homer exposits at Moe’s, then Lisa shows up and they exposit some more about Marge leaving him, then Homer calls Ned, who is his stand-by AA sponsor, and then Ned and Homer have an intervention at Moe’s. There is screaming.

– Inside of that mess is Homer having a devil fantasy where Satan appears to joke that a Flaming Moe is the “most overpriced thing at Universal Studios”. That joke reached so far it thew its back out.

– Lisa gets into Harvard, we go to commercial, and then it comes back with a subtitle reading “10 years from now”. We then see them pulling up to Harvard to move Lisa in, so this is now after she wrote her essay, which was where we were flashing back from. Ugh. [Futurama Donbot Voice: “From the context it is clear what you mean.”]

– Zombie Simpsons believes you would like to see older Homer spazzing out like Grampa.

– Then Lisa meets what will turn out to be her first roommate, who exposits all of her and Lisa’s feelings simultaneously:

Lisa: So, you play and instrument?
Roommate: Bari-sax.
Lisa: Are you any good?
Roommate: I played at Kenny G’s funeral.
Lisa’s Brain: Ooh, she’s pretty impressive.
Lisa: Uh, any childhood heartbreak?
Roommate: My parents forgot my birthday three times.
Lisa’s Brain: She beats me at everything! I don’t belong here! Roommate: While you were feeling inferior, I took the top bunk.

– Later, Bart shows up and briefly makes out with a Harvard girl to piss off her dad. I know this because he told us exactly that. Then Bart encourages Lisa and we cut to a second roommate scene where Lisa gets another roommate who exposits all the same things as the first girl except that she’s feeling vulnerable like Lisa so they decide to become friends. (Also, there’s a weird lesbian joke at the end that goes nowhere.)

– Now we get a flashback montage that goes in reverse back to Lisa’s baby scene from the beginning.

– Then we end on another All in the Family style song like the one from “Lisa’s Sax”. It goes on for a looong time and includes Homer making dial up modem noises.

Anyway, the ratings are in and I’m running out of ways to say that they’re exactly as they have been. With a football lead-in, last night a mere 4.31 million people got confused by nested flashbacks.


Quote of the Day

♫”Bart was feeling mighty blue.” – Homer Simpson
“It’s a shame what school can do.” – Marge Simpson
“For no reason, here’s Apu.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Those were the days!”♫ – Homer, Marge, & Apu


Quote of the Day

“Now I’d like to introduce you to Lunchlady Doris who will serve you healthy, nutritious meals.” – Principal Skinner
“Yeah, right.” – Lunchlady Doris

Doris Grau would’ve been 93 today. Happy birthday.


Quote of the Day

“Ugh, so hot…” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, have you seen the frozen peas? . . . Um, you keep ’em.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Lisa, honey, if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll destroy something Bart loves.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey!” – Bart Simpson
“Don’t worry, son, if that bothers you I’ll destroy something Maggie loves.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day


“That’s damn fine coffee you’ve got here in Twin Peaks. And damn good cherry pie.” – Not Kyle McLaughlin
“Brilliant! . . . I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax17

♫”And Bingo was his name-0!”♫ – Bart Simpson
“Added extra clap.  Not college material.” – Kindergarten Teacher

Happy birthday Al Jean!


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax16

“Bart, would you like to read a book?” – Marge Simpson
“No.” – Bart Simpson


Reading Digest: In Denial About Season 27 Edition


“Homer, I want you to look at this drawing Bart did.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, it’s beautiful!  Oh, let’s put Bart’s beautiful drawing up on the fridge-” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, stop!  Would you please look at the drawing?” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, alright . . . Ahh!  Burn it!  Send it to hell!” – Homer Simpson
“I think we’re going to have to get Bart some help.” – Marge Simpson
“Get it away.” – Homer Simpson

Very short Reading Digest this week as pretty much everything tagged “Simpsons” on the internet was linked to FOX’s big marketing push for the new season, which is now a terrifyingly close nine days away.  I did pluck one link from the publicity spew, but it’s just Jean saying things you’ve seen him say before.  Other than that we do have some excellent fan art, Korean rock stars getting in on the fashionable clothing thing, world record tattoos, and a well thought out top 25 list.


Simpsons season 27: Al Jean talks Homer and Marge’s separation, and more: Interview – Jean doing a publicity interview for the new season.  No real news here, he’s just pimping this year’s version of zany stuff with lots of celebrity guest voices.

Man with over 200 tattoos of The Simpsons characters confirmed as record holder – Well done, sir (though how you get a total number out of that impressive scene is beyond me).

Homer LED Shirt – A shirt that lights up in the shape of that Homer x-ray picture with his tiny brain.  (via @RoyceMCutcheon)

Why Labor leader Bill Shorten is posing with a mysterious green rod – The inanimate carbon rod takes Australia by storm. (via @DailySimpsons)

Perfectly timed image captures hilarious moment between Marge and Homer Simpson – Cute.  (via @AlJean)

Happy birthday to The Prophet of Love, Larry, I mean, Barry White – Great YouTube here, including Simpsons clips.

A Fonz Gift Set: Embroidery & Painting – Great inscription usage on the bottom of the painting.

Creating My List of Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – This is why I don’t do lists.  It’s too stressful:

I will certainly be on there again tomorrow as even now I am feeling guilty about episodes currently not on the list and doubting whether I have got this right. There could definitely be some last minute changes.

My Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – And the results.  “Lemon of Troy” is an unusual but very worthy #1, and “Lisa’s First Word” at #2 is pretty good as well.

WIP Wednesday: Simpsons Couch #3 – Outline completed, and the beginnings of color.

S02 E21 – Three Men and a Comic Book – Glick is dead-on:

He goes and starts working for her, doing all sorts of terrible manual labor while Mrs. Glick watches soap operas, and just generally acts like every super old lady I’ve ever met in my life. Mrs. Glick was hilarious. To the old candy and the creepy décor, everything about her was perfect. I also laughed my ass off when she was watching the soap opera and said “Filthy…but genuinely arousing.”

S02 E22 – Blood Feud – It is nice to just hang out with the old ones:

Season finale! Already through 2 seasons, and man do I have to say that I’m loving this show again. I’d really forgotten how great it was, and just focused on how bad it got. And now I’m remembering why I was obsessed with this show growing up. It’s so hilarious, and manages to mix in just the perfect amount of humor that really makes for a perfect series. Although I have to admit, as much as I’m loving these classic episodes, I’m starting to dread when I get to the seasons that made me quit. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly where I fell off, and I’m not quite positive, but man this blog may change when I get there. Instead of a lovefest for an amazing show, it may become the bitter ramblings of a crazy person, before I fall into self-imposed Stockholm Syndrome.

S03 E01 – Stark Raving Dad – Remember when they knew how to use big name celebrities well?

S03 E02 – Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington – There’s nothing Homer wouldn’t do for that magazine.

Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington – Dueling reviews of twenty-four year old episodes!

STAYREAL ~ Simpsons ft. Jung Yonghwa – High fashion Simpsons clothing now comes with Korean boy bands.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons alone bart… – He’s becoming isolated and weird.


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax15

“We’ve needed a new air conditioner for years!  And our stop gap solution is getting cranky.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax14

“I have soy milk.  The doctor says the real kind could kill me.” – Milhouse van Houten

Happy (one day belated) birthday, Pamela Hayden!  


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax13

“And so, just as things looked their worst…” – Marge Simpson
“I realized I could make money selling my medication to Deadheads.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Grampa, what are you talking about?” – Marge Simpson
“Uh, nothing.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax12

“Marge, name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning?” – Homer Simpson
“Balzac.” – Marge Simpson
“No need for potty mouth just because you can’t think of one.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax11

“And the ugly duckling was amazed to realize it had grown into a beautiful swan.  So you see children, there is hope for anyone.” – Kindergarten Teacher
“Even me?” – Bart Simpson
“No.” – Kindergarten Teacher


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Sax10

“The point I’m trying to make here is that Bart must learn to be less of an individual and more a faceless slug.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor


Reading Digest: Quantifying Zombie Simpsons Edition

Lisa's Sax9

“Lisa, if I have five apples and I take away three apples, how many apples do I have left?” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor
“Two apples.” – Lisa Simpson
“Wait a minute . . . she’s right!” – Homer Simpson

This week we’ve got several links that note just how bad Zombie Simpsons is, including one that basically confirms the analysis I did for the mini-book.  There’s also lots of lists with little to no Zombie Simpsons, countdowns that penalize the show for Zombie Simpsons, and even Zombie Simpsons making a list it isn’t even on!  In addition to all that, we’ve got several excellent pieces of fan art (including two cool posters and a potential T-shirt that could use some votes), a Marge skateboard, Hitchcock, and plenty of substance abuse. 


Kalkalash! Pinpointing the Moments “The Simpsons” became less Cromulent – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is someone who agrees with us so completely that s/he may be my long lost twin or something:

For me, and most others, the latter episodes bear little resemblance to older ones. The current incarnation of the show is stale, and has been for a long time. I haven’t watched a new episode in over ten years, and don’t intend to any time soon. When did this decline begin? Was it part of a slow secular trend, or was there a sudden drop in the quality, from which there was no recovery?

To answer these questions I use the Global Episode Opinion Survey (GEOS) episode ratings data, which are published online.

I’ve never heard of GEOS, but it’d make a nice addition to Chapter 1, because it confirms pretty much everything we’ve been saying here for the last four years, right down to the stages of decline.  Click through for the full data, which is presented in easy to understand graphical form. 

5 Fitness Lessons I Learned from The Simpsons – A personal trainer discusses her profession through her love of the show.  Plus you can see her kickass “Homer Defined” tattoo! 

Olly Moss Pays Homage To The Simpsons With His “Stop The Planet of The Apes, I Want To Get Off” Musical Poster – Click this.  It is awesome. 

Simpsons Army of Darkness – Not sure of the original source here, but it is only slightly less awesome than the above.  The tagline is perfect: “Trapped in Time.  Surrounded by Evil.  Low on Duff.”.  Well done, somebody. 

A Pocket Companion to Books from The Simpsons, by O. Lebrun – The things you find in Museum shops these days.

Score Marge Simpson – A Threadless T-shirt vote with six days left for Marge as a smoking, pissed off looking middle-aged woman. 

Dial H For Hitchcock: An In-Depth Discussion About ‘The Master of Suspense’ – Someone who knows more about Hitchcock than I do has a list:

The Simpsons have constantly paid homage to Hitchcock over the years with references to The Birds, Rear Window, Sabateur, Psycho, Spellbound, North by Northwest and most recently, Strangers on a Train for their Halloween special, “Treehouse of Horror XX”. The segment was called “Dial M for Murder or Press # To Return To Main Menu” but had a plot that parodied Strangers on a Train and pushed a Hitchcock looking character off Mt. Rushmore, where Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint scramble for freedom in the film, North by Northwest‘s final scene.

That first link leads to Category:Hitchcock references in The Simpsons at a Hitchcock wiki.  Warning: bit of a time suck. 

The Simpsons’ Craziest Example of Drug Abuse – Hmm, I’m not really sure what would happen to a grown man taking estrogen pills, but I can’t imagine it would be fun:

The Simpsons’ Season 4 episode the “New Kid on the Block” contains what has to be the most insanely casual depiction of drug abuse in television history.  In the episode, Homer goes through the neighbors’ trash, steals prescription medication, and binges on it while relaxing on the couch. Zero repercussions, repeat none, are shown or even implied by this unbelievably irresponsible behavior. All that happens is Marge barely registering her concern with Homer’s behavior and Homer remarking that he is not getting enough Estrogen.

I dunno, Fry’s “So I stayed home and got trashed on Listerine” in Futurama’s “A Head in the Polls” has always struck me as pretty casual. 

Top Ten Alcohol Moments in Media- A Mexican Standoff – And while we’re on the subject of substance abuse, a list of TV drinking that, by necessity, includes Moe’s.

10 of some of the best classic Simpsons episodes (According to me). Emphasise on the word ‘SOME’, I know most have an episode that you hold dear in your heart, but considering the structure of most lists, I had to choose 10, which was a daunting task for me. It’s a daunting task for any kid who grew up with this legendary show. – Yes, that is the whole link, but it is a perfectly cromulent list, with nothing past Season 9.

The Top 9 ‘Treehouse of Horror’ Segments – There’s one from Zombie Simpsons (Season 13) here, but overall it’s a very solid list.

Top 10 Cameos in ‘The Simpsons’ (Round 1) – There’s also one from Zombie Simpsons here, but just one and there’s shakycam YouTube of Bette Midler’s aggressive environmentalism. 

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 18) – The elimination bracket continues.  This one is “Treehouse of Horror IV” versus “Marge on the Lam”, which is a good example of why I will never do a favorite episodes list.  How the hell do you pick between Homer selling his soul for a donut and Lionel Hutz babysitting?  I feel conflicted just asking the question.

My Favorite Episodes of The Simpsons Part V: 20-16 – Still clean of Zombie Simpsons . . .

My Favorite Episodes of The Simpsons Part VI: 15-11 – . . . and this one has an animated .gif of Grimes killing himself. 

Stuart’s Top 30 Sitcoms of All Time: Part 4 (#15 – #11) – The show checks in at #11 here, with Zombie Simpsons being an explicit penalty:

If they’d stopped around the 200 mark it would have been a strong contender for the top 5.

Futurama Canceled. Again. Along With Ugly Americans and The Cleveland Show. – I missed this:

Ugh. Comedy Central did it again. I’m sure most people know by now, but Futurama is canceled. Again. By Comedy Central.

So is Ugly Americans.

I liked Ugly Americans.  It never seemed to quite find it’s footing, but it could produce some pretty funny episodes. 

Remember the (Awesome TV Day That Is) The Sabbath and Keep It Holy – In which an intrepid blogger describes how The Simpsons got him started on a lifelong habit of watching TV on Sunday. 

The Simpsons: Tapped Out – Sadly, since I now almost exclusively watch ripped DVD copies on my computer, I’ve gotten pretty rusty at this:

Anyone who knows me will know I’m a pretty big Simpsons fan. I’m one of those people that will randomly quote it and crack myself up doing so and I can pretty much tell you which episode is playing after watching the first 30 seconds.

Back when only first few seasons were in syndication I could get a lot of them on the opening establishing shot alone.  Ah, memories. 

THE SIMPSONS – Hmm, art project or cassette release of “Do the Bartman”?  I don’t know.

Marge Simpson Skateboard Deck – Pretty much what it says, and she’s definitely got the hair for it.  I’m not a skateboarder, but it does look a little odd that the thing follows the shape of her head and hair rather than being the usual skateboard shape with an image. 

Reverse product placement? whats that? – Some examples of fictional products that became real, including the license challenged Duff. 

I Know It When I See It: Scrimshaw and Whale Bone Porn – Seems someone went Helen Lovejoy over some mildly racy ye olde tyme drawings, ignoring the real problem with scrimshaw: Sideshow Bob wants to revive it.  And he’s an evil genius.

Burgos…. – Your 2010 World Cup champions drawn Simpsons style. 

Pain & Gain…In 10 Words – Now step over to the abdominator and I will shout slogans at you.  (On a related note, that movie was – to my complete surprise – rather good.)

A Talking Cat?!…In 10 Words – The cat?  What’s the point? 

Candy Crush Saga…In 10 Words – Because, a lot of workers really like candy.

Yeardley Smith On Comfort, Style and Reinventing Women’s Shoes – An interview with Smith about her shoe line. 

Universal Orlando Transformers readies to open as Summer approaches – There’s a Flickr slideshow here of the Simpsons area under construction.  That is all.

‘Under the Dome’ to give ‘Simpsons’ shout-out – CBS is making a mini-series based on the Stephen King book about the town that gets trapped like carrots.  It will contain a brief mention of the movie.

Style Inspiration: Marge Simpson – How to dress like Marge without it being a Halloween costume.

Found this so COOL.=) – A drawing of famous fictional female haircuts. 

Moleman In The Morning. – I have no idea what this is or is going to be, but the subtitle is “A Simpsons blog about the agonizing pain in which I live every day.”.  It’s got a good title, that’s for sure. 

Cod aren’t coming back — yet – Moderate usage:

Under the sea

there’ll be no accusations,

Just tasty crustaceans.

— Homer Simpson

The baldheaded buffoon of the popular cartoon (The Simpsons) could have been talking about the Northwest Atlantic.

Homer actually calls them “friendly” crustaceans, but other than that it’s dead on.

5 Cancelled TV Shows That Got Given A Reprieve – Just another reminder that, fan wise, people don’t care about the continuation of Zombie Simpsons:

You know, I find it kind of humorous that Matt Groening has two shows that will appear on two separate lists on these kinds of websites. The Simpsons will frequently pop up on people’s lists of shows which need to be mercifully killed off. Then there will be Futurama, which will pop on lists like the one I’m writing here, about shows which were killed off and eventually brought back to life.

That’s how low Zombie Simpsons’ reputation has sunk, it’s cancellation gets mentioned even on lists it isn’t on. 


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