Posts Tagged ‘Marge vs. The Monorail


Bonus Quote of the Day

Hidden Camera

“Before we begin, is anyone here an investigative reporter?” – Lyle Lanley
“I am, and she is.” – Investigative Reporter
“Well, I’d like you to please leave.” – Lyle Lanley
“Should we take our hidden camera?” – Investigative Reporter
“Would you?” – Lyle Lanley
“Let’s go, Phil.” – Investigative Reporter

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Marge vs. the Monorail”!  Original airdate 14 January 1993.


Quote of the Day


“How much did you see?” – Lyle Lanley
“Uh, nothing incriminating.” – Marge Simpson
“Good.” – Lyle Lanley


Quote of the Day

Marge vs. the Monorail8

“You know, I used to think you were stuck in an emasculating, go-nowhere job.” – Bart Simpson
“Heh heh, kids.” – Homer Simpson
But now, I want to follow in your footsteps.” – Bart Simpson
Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior?  The kids can call you Ho-Ju.” – Homer Simpson
I’ll get back to you.” – Bart Simpson


Reading Digest: Monorail Demolition Edition

The Future of Sydney

“Go away!  There ain’t no monorail and there never was!” – Monorail Cafe Woman

The monorail in Sydney, Australia is being dismantled.  Clearly the town is doomed, and since the word “monorail” has been used, people have been invoking Lyle Lanley and his cheerful brand of fraud to prove it.  We’ve got two links about it, including a spectacular parody video.  On top of that, we’ve got awesome donuts, I nitpick several pieces of usage, there’s a possible sighting of the very first time Bart Simpson was on television, Lenny’s trying out a couple of new things at her blog, there are alumni updates about Cartwright and Groening, and there is a truly half-assed attempt at making a real Flaming Homer.


Monorail, Monorail, MONORAIL! – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this excellent monorail song parody from Australia.  The map is a very nice touch, and while I didn’t get most of the local references, bored looking kids in the Rammstein and Evanescence t-shirts require no localization.  Here’s some background on the video and the impressively quick way they put it together. 

Prima Simpsonis: The First Television Appearance of Bart Simpson – I will leave it to people better versed in the obscure early days of the Simpsons to determine if this is true or not, but there is a suspiciously Bart-looking background image in an animated episode of Amazing Stories that was written and directed by Brad Bird.  It was broadcast in February of 1987, two months before they hit the air as part of The Tracey Ullman Show

The Simpsons in Chernobyl – Awesome:

A muralist by the name Combo created a very appropriate Simpsons family portrait power plant scene inside a building at the Chernobyl disaster sight.  The artists also created a power plant landscape mural as well.

They’re really well done, too!  Good work, Combo, whoever you are.

Baking With SparkleGirl | Mmmm… Forbidden Donuts – Complete and simple instructions for making pink sprinkle donuts, with drool inducing pictures.  The only thing that’s missing is an incantation so that you can sell your soul to Flanders for one of these.

You Know You’ve Arrived When You’ve Been Simpsonized – A nice review of Rear Window with a couple of screen grabs from “Bart of Darkness” thrown in for good measure.  Bonus points if you can figure out what the blog’s banner image is without looking at the About page.

My Life is Complete: Boo Urns! – Attention California residents, you cannot get “BOOURNS” as your license plate, because someone already has it.  Here’s photographic proof.

Embiggen your vocabulary: 10 coinages from ‘The Simpsons’ – There’s only one thing from Zombie Simpsons on here.  Bravo.

The Simpsons Puzzle – A look at some Simpsons puzzles.  I’ve got to give the Krusty Brand Seal of Approval department credit for the one with Bart writing “I Will Finish What I Sta__” on the front of the box.

Lisa Simpson – I must pick nits, even when I agree:

I was watching and old episode of the Simpsons yesterday, “Mr. Lisa goes to Washington.”  It was aired in 1991 and Lisa goes to DC, there is a line in the show where a senator says “One day you might even grow up to be a senator, there are women senators you know.” To wit Lisa replies, “I know, there are two, I checked.” That made me sit up, I knew there were more female senators now, but didn’t know how many.  Out of 100 senators 17 are female. In over twenty years we went from 2, to 17.  Now the growth rate is tremendous and I applaud that, but when you think about it, 17 out of 100 isn’t that many, especially if you consider that there are more women in the population than men (marginally, sure.)

The “honorable” Bob Arnold actually says:

“Lisa, you’re a doer.  And, who knows?  Maybe someday you’ll be a Congressman or a Senator.  We have quite a few women Senators, you know.”

To which the ever astute Lisa replies, “Only two, I checked.”  I’m calling that one moderate usage. 

OU Announces Undergrad Commencement Speaker – On June 9th, Nancy Cartwright will be giving the commencement address at Ohio University.  That is all. 

Jillian’s Bart Simpson Tee – Your chance to own a real 1990 Bart t-shirt, the proceeds of which also buy a new shirt for charity. 

From the Inside: Michael Bay, Ninja Turtles, Star Wars and the Nature of Fandom – More excellent usage from Michael Bay’s latest troll masterpiece:

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Apparently Michael Bay has been reading a lot of Shakespeare lately; too bad he can’t learn anything constructive from The Bard. I also like how Homer Simpson put it: “There’s nothing wrong with crabgrass. It just has a bad name, that’s all. Everyone would love it if it has a cute name, like, uh, elf grass.”

Homer actually says “had a cute name” not “has a cute name”, but that’s close enough for excellent usage. 

Diary of a Cork football fan: Part 5 – Well done:

There is an episode of the Simpsons where Marge is at a ‘pee wee’ ice hockey game between Bart’s team and Lisa’s team and after seeing Bart get tripped, she roars ‘vengeance, I want vengeance!’

Well that is exactly how I felt on the road up to Mayo. The heartbreak of last year’s All-Ireland quarter final defeat was still fresh in the mind of Cork supporters.

Marge actually says, “He tripped my boy!  I demand vengeance!  I want vengeance!”, but all the words are in the right order so it’s definitely excellent usage.

Simpsons Sums Up: Gossip Girl, Season 5 – Since I don’t think I’ve ever seen more than about five minutes of Gossip Girl, I can’t judge the image, but the quote is right, so I’m calling this excellent usage by Lenny.

Lenny & Steve’s Excellent Adventure Through the 100 Best TV Episodes of the Past 20 Years: Part 1 – Lenny’s other new project has “Homer at the Bat” as the 92nd best episode of anything.

MonoFAIL – Sydney fell for Lyle Lanley’s scam a long time ago, and now they’re going to tear it down, but no without YouTube of the original song.  No word on the popsicle stick skyscraper.

The Future, as Predicted by ’90s Cartoons – There’s plenty of “Lisa’s Wedding” here, even though that is now technically in the past.

100 Best Comedy Characters Currently On Television (30-21) – The countdown continues with Itchy & Scratchy sharing the honors at #23, and . . .

100 Best Comedy Characters Currently On Television (20-11) – . . . Bart at #14.

Homer Simpson Stargazer fish found buried in seabed by divers in the Lembeh Strait – This strikes me as a bit of a stretch, but whatever.

Audiovisual Rosetta Stones: 15 foreign words and phrases we learned from film and TV – Grampa’s failed German burlesque show is in here.  I bet no one thought of that scene as educational when they were putting it together. 

1996: A SPACE ODDYSSEY – This one goes out to our Australian readers, where there was apparently a Simpsons tie-in with a Pog knockoff in 1994.  If we had those here in the States, I sure don’t remember them.

Wil Wheaton Speaks the Truth – Via Twitter:

Some days, you’re just going to be Sideshow Bob, and the world is going to be a dozen rakes.


A GIF(t) just for you 31 – Animated .gif of Ralph smiling and waving.

Cocktails Everywhere! – This is a list of pop culture inspired cocktails, everything from Harry Potter to Portal.  It contains a link to an amusingly abysmal page for a Flaming Homer:

I cannot say that I’ve ever had this drink, nor do I want to try it. However many people are curious about it. The key is to use a plain children’s cough syrup, nothing too flavorful. Be careful when making any flaming drink and extinguish before drinking. I’d be curious to hear comments about it.

The ingredients:

  • 1 oz brandy
  • 1 oz peppermint schnapps
  • 1 oz sloe gin
  • 1 oz blackberry liqueur
  • 1 oz strawberry juice
  • cough syrup

Other than the cough syrup, none of those are in the episode (though one of the bottles Homer grabs is a Schnapps of some kind).  And I doubt very much there’s enough booze in that to actually get it to ignite, certainly not at room temperature.  And now, the punchline:

Be the first to write a review


The Shatterer of Myths – Exploring the real meaning and definition of “myths”, with a nice assist from “Lisa the Iconoclast”.

Planet of The Aches – Animated .gif of the Itchy & Scratchy where Itchy walls up Scratchy and then dices him in the future.

Jamming with Matt Groening – Groening did some impromptu sketches for charity at the Shanghai International Literary Festival.

Top 10 Great Television Comedies – A great list with quite a bit of YouTube, and you know who comes in at #1.  He’s easier on Zombie Simpsons than I am, but I wholeheartedly agree with this:

But when it was in the highlight of its years, it is the best comedy that was ever on television. Seasons 3-8 have so many classic moments and are just as funny today as they were when they aired.

Those episodes have aged so well that it’s genuinely frightening.  Just look at the monorail video up top.


Quote of the Day

Marge vs. the Monorail7

“Mr. Burns, in light of your unbelievable contempt for human life, this court fines you three million dollars.” – Judge Snyder
“Smithers, my wallet’s in my right, front pocket . . . Oh, and I’ll take that statue of Justice too.” – C.M. Burns
“Sold!” – Judge Snyder


Quote of the Day

Marge vs. the Monorail6

“Well, sir, where should we dump this batch?  The playground?” – Mr. Smithers
“No, all those bald children are arousing suspicion.  To the park!” – C.M. Burns


Bonus Quote of the Day

Marge vs. the Monorail5

“Pardon me, but I would like to see this money spent on more police officers.  I have been shot eight times this year, and as a result I almost missed work.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Crybaby.” – Chief Wiggum

Happy birthday Hank Azaria!


Genius Indeed

Marge vs. the Monorail4

Andreas at Pussy Goes Grrr has written a wonderfully detailed analysis of “Marge vs. the Monorail”.  (Yes, I’m going to get around to the “Treehouse of Horror V” one someday.)  Short version: he likes it.  Long version: read it for yourself.  I’d like to highlight two things, first:

Lanley brings razzle-dazzle to policymaking. Later, when Marge complains that the potholes will go unfixed, Homer remarks, “Well, you should’ve written a song like that guy.” Homer, an everyman, has the memory of a goldfish; he can’t even recall Lanley’s name, but he definitely remembers that he had a song.

That is a very underrated Homer line.  He has no idea what he’s so enthusiastic about, who made him so, or why he thinks it’s a good idea.  He just knows there was a song and, dog gone it, that’s good enough for him.  I love that line.

Second, there’s this (emphasis mine):

This comes complete with riffs on celebrity culture, more incompetence on the part of political leaders, and several more forays into absurdism – whether with Homer’s Chuck Jones-style viewing of Bart as an anchor, or the continued but superfluous presence of Leonard Nimoy.

This episode is as good as it gets when it comes to Wiggum and Quimby.  While the people they’re supposed to be serving scream in terror, they bicker in the control tower and then get into a lust filled – yet childish – argument over the sexual perks of their respective offices.  But this episode goes beyond just political leaders to indict pretty much anyone in a position of authority.  Judge Snyder sells the statue of justice for cash.  Brockman laps up the monorail publicity so unquestioningly that he runs a laudatory report on the new monorail conductor even though the accompanying photo shows the subject with a mouth full of cigarettes.  Hoover is won over through the cheesiest of flirtations.  Hibbert’s profitable and self-serving Siamese twin diagnosis is proved wrong right in front of him. 

“Marge vs. the Monorail” is The Simpsons and its anti-authority worldview at its best.  All of the systems and organizations that are supposed to protect you are cast as hollow shells, run by self-interested nitwits who will abandon you as soon as the right shiny object comes along.  Read the whole thing, it’s great. 


Mediocrity Punished

Chalkboard - Postcards From the Wedge

“I’d like you to explain why we should build a mass transit system in a small town with a centralized population?” – Lisa Simpson
“Ha ha, young lady that’s the most intelligent question I’ve ever been asked.” – Lyle Lanley
“Really?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, I could give you an answer, but the only ones who’d understand it would be you and me . . . and that includes your teacher.” – Lyle Lanley

The numbers are in and they’re wonderfully bad.  That typically boring and nonsensical Zombie Simpsons episode was endured by just 5.23 million viewers.  That’s the third lowest of all time.  This number is bad enough to give me fresh hope that Season 21 can still end up the lowest rated season.  Not much hope, mind you, but some. 

As for the episode itself, we’ve seen things like this before, haven’t we?  Bart is no longer Bart, freaking out about a letter from school is not something he’d ever do.  Homer and Marge got into a nonsensical fight that, surprise surprise, resolved itself effortlessly.  To top it all off the plot was based on not one, but two stupid and unlinked concepts; even if we grant that Springfield has an abandoned subway system why on earth would it cause earthquakes?  Silliness can be funny, but these ploys are just lazy ways to try and flesh out plots that have nowhere to go.  Oh, and there was an Itchy & Scratchy episode for the first time in forever, and they even managed to screw that up. 


The Cost of Zombie Simpsons


Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Thoth, God of Knowledge.

“I think it’s full, sir.” – Mr. Smithers
“That’s ridiculous!  The last tree held nine drums.” – C.M. Burns

One of the main reasons we started this blog was to help draw a bright, shining distinction between the pristine beauty of The Simpsons and the brackish effluent of Zombie Simpsons.  Fundamentally, The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons are two different shows whose only real similarities are cosmetic, and the longer Zombie Simpsons is on the air the more damage it does to The Simpsons in terms of reputation, pop culture standing, and even simple popularity. 

Witness this comment from “PulpAffliction” at that Top 13 Simpsons guests post we talked about last week:

Great list, I’m more of a Futurama fan, myself.

I’ll have to check out "Marge vs. Monorail," though.

He’s a Futurama fan who has never seen “Marge vs. The Monorail”!  Let that sink in for a moment.  He likes animated comedy, he likes the more successful of the two Simpsons spin offs, but he has never seen one of the most famous episodes of The Simpsons

This is not the first time I’ve seen something like this.  About a year ago Mad Jon and I were hanging out with a friend of ours who’s a lot younger than we are.  He was born in 1988 so he was just a baby when the show came out and wasn’t yet ten years old before it started to implode.  He knows a fair share of Simpsons quotes and certainly likes the show.  But as we were shooting the shit it came up that he had never seen “Last Exit to Springfield”.  (It goes almost without saying that we watched it immediately and he laughed his ass off.) 

Sad cases like these aren’t at all surprising when you consider that there are now far more episodes of Zombie Simpsons than there are of the real thing.  Syndicated broadcasters are under no obligation to run episodes in order and it’s my impression (though I can’t back it up with data) that the syndication runs tend to favor the more recent years as well.  Most people surely get their first Simpsons exposure from these scattershot reruns, but the sheer number of Zombie Simpsons now means that a person has to go out of their way to guarantee that they’ve caught most or all of the best (read: old) episodes. 

Certainly at least some people deliberately look them all up but, inevitably, lots of casual fans do not.  As a result they often don’t understand what’s so special about The Simpsons (other than that it’s been on the air a very long time).  This is true even for fans of shows (e.g. South Park, Family Guy, Futurama) that were spawned because of The Simpsons, and can you blame them? 

All of those other shows I mentioned have produced stellar, hilarious episodes, some of which contain things so memorable that they became pop culture touchstones.  But none of them has ever had a years long run that rivals what The Simpsons did at its beginning.  Week after week, year after year, The Simpsons pumped out one exceptional classic after another; but the magic of that gets lost in reruns that are polluted hither and thither with Zombie Simpsons.  The unequaled density and consistency of the great years can no longer shine though the sludge and that reduces The Simpsons to the status of “just another teevee show”, one that’s only funny some of the time.   

That is why Zombie Simpsons needs to be attacked and criticized.  Not because it’s a boring, mediocre television program (there are lots of those), but because each new episode eats away at the foundations of one of the most important and influential shows ever made.  Every year a new batch of Zombie Simpsons gets dumped into the rerun pool and steals precious airtime away from the good ones, and so each new batch of potential fans has to work a little bit harder to see the good stuff.  Bit by bit Zombie Simpsons is poisoning The Simpsons for future generations. 

Won’t somebody think of the children?


Quote of the Day

“This is the snack holder where I can put my beverage, or, if you will, cupcake.” – Homer Simpson


Crazy Noises: Once Upon a Time in Springfield

Marge vs. the Monorail2

“Krusty, why won’t you answer my calls?  You’ve never even seen our son.” – Fraught Woman

In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21.  Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “illegitimate”).

I sometimes wonder whether the people behind Zombie Simpsons operate from the same comedy principals that made The Simpsons great and just suck at implementing them, or if they don’t understand what made the show funny in the first place and instead just flail around in their own mediocre way.  The truth is that it’s probably a bit of both.  Indeed, we can see evidence for each in “Once Upon a Time in Springfield”. 

In support of the first contention (that they get it but suck) are things like the wedding scene where we see Krusty’s bitter ex-wives.  It wasn’t particularly funny but it had the structure, if not the content, of actual Simpsons. 

In support of the second contention (that they don’t get it and suck) we have the underlying premise of Krusty’s plot.  Krusty is funny precisely because he’s so unlikeable and selfish and yet here we have him finding love and, as the odious phrase goes, “growing as a person”.  It completely contradicts and undermines everything that made the character who he was, it’s hard to imagine anyone who understands him writing this.  Ah well, I guess we’ll never really know, but either way the key word is “suck”. 

Charlie Sweatpants: Shall we get started?

Mad Jon: Yes

Yes we should

I’ll need some prodding though, I seem to have blocked it from memory.

Charlie Sweatpants: Okay, I would like my opening statement entered into the record as: this episode unintentionally crossed a line of bitter irony that was barely on the horizon in "Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie"

Mad Jon: Oh wait, now I remember, something about Anne Hathaway and a princess

Dave: Yep, that was something that happened

Charlie Sweatpants: Having Bart and Milhouse writhing in agony as their favorite show became a travesty of its former self was either the most clever "fuck you" to the fans in years or a depth of self ignorance hitherto unplumbed on network television.

Mad Jon: I am going with option b. That would be pretty clever, a little too clever methinks.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m inclined to agree.

Dave: brb

Charlie Sweatpants: I’ll stay here, but I’m going to think about products I might like to purchase.

Mad Jon: You can’t expect me to sit here for thirty minutes.

Dave: Back, and yes, option B makes the most sense

The writers aren’t nearly that good or clever enough to be that subversive

Charlie Sweatpants: You’re probably right. The show is pretty oblivious these days.

Mad Jon: That would be pretty funny if we were wrong about this, and it turns out that the last few seasons of the Simpsons are like the Jonas Brothers episode of South Park and Matt Groening is making a crappy show for some profitable purpose.

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s all a massive marketing conspiracy?

Mad Jon: Not that I can think of what that profitable purpose would be, I am pretty sure the merchandising is equal to the GNP of most developed nations.

Dave: Oh please won’t somebody think of the fanboys?

Their heads would explode

Charlie Sweatpants: I’d buy that, but I don’t think there’s anything secret about it. At least the Jonas Brothers were being lied to, I’m pretty sure the current staff knows what the score is on some basic level.

Dave has left

Charlie Sweatpants: Uh oh

Mad Jon: Well, it looks like Dave can’t take it anymore.

Dave has joined

Charlie Sweatpants: Comcast again?

Dave has left

Charlie Sweatpants: Damns.

Dave has joined

Charlie Sweatpants: Internet problems?

Dave: Yeah, I think so.  Carry on

Mad Jon: I know a guy who went to ITT Tech for 2 years only to end up as the supervisor of the 12-8am call center.

He made more money selling computers at Best Buy, and didn’t have to pay ITT Tech to do that.

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s awful on a number of levels, but what does it have to do with this conversation?

Mad Jon: Nothing, just saying.

Dave: My mind is reeling at those statements

Mad Jon: Comcast sucks that’s all.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yes it does.

Anyway, back to the episode.

Dave: Agreed. So where were we?

Charlie Sweatpants: We were debating whether or not having Bart and Milhouse suffer as television fans was an intentional swipe at guys like us. We came down on "no" because it seems too clever for them.

Mad Jon: Man, that’s all we got?

Charlie Sweatpants: But while we’re on the subject of "fuck you"s to the fans, um, what the hell was up with Burns?

Mad Jon: They must have felt they needed a B plot. Probably because the A plot, which has the same guest star the A plot had like 6 episodes ago, sucked.

He must really like Homer, Carl, and Lenny.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah but how would that be different from any other episode?

Mad Jon: You know, because of the Guest Star, usually its a different patsy each time.

Dave: I think you mentioned this a while back Charlie, but Burns liking his employees is wildly out of character

Charlie Sweatpants: That Burns would want them back I can stomach, that he would get them back by being NICE to them, that I cannot.

Mad Jon: To play the Devil’s advocate, I don’t think he liked them, he just wanted them not to leave.

Er, what Charlie said.

Dave: Sure, six of one, half-dozen of another

You guys knew what I meant

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh, I can read between the rage lines.

Mad Jon: Those doughnuts sounded pretty tasty though.

Charlie Sweatpants: But isn’t that part of the problem?

Mad Jon: Taste?

Charlie Sweatpants: I’ve seen Homer eat a donut that was dropped on a parking lot by a monkey.

Mad Jon: And then stepped on by another monkey. Yeah, you’re right.

I’m not saying the plot wasn’t shaky, or even terrible, but I do like doughnuts.

Charlie Sweatpants: Sorry, I’m choking on my own rage here.

Mad Jon: While I’m thinking of it, Did they end up getting married in the river, or something. How did this end?

I kinda wandered off as the episode was wrapping up.

Charlie Sweatpants: To take Homer loving donuts and turn it into something that was legitimately out of character for Homer is almost beyond comprehension.

Dave: They floated down the Seine to an acoustic version of "Moon River"

Mad Jon: Bam, second encore.

Charlie Sweatpants: After like three minutes of cliche.

Dave: and then there was a unicorn and sparkles

Charlie Sweatpants: You know what that reminded me of?

Mad Jon: What?

Fill me in here.

Charlie Sweatpants: "You know what happens! They find Captain Kook’s treasure, all the elves dance around little green idiots, I puke, the end."

Mad Jon: Ah.

Dave: Well played.

Charlie Sweatpants: The ending of this episode was more formulaic and predicable than the Happy Little Elves. I can’t stress how mind bendingly uncreative this show has gotten any more than that.

Mad Jon: I liked Krusty better when he was a drunken gambling degenerate who has several illegitimate children.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yes, a thousand times yes to that.

Mad Jon: And how many hours a day do you think Jackie Mason is awake? Like 3?

Dave: Jon you made a comment a few days back that still resonates today – I haven’t the energy to say anything more than "this sucks" anymore

Mad Jon: Yeah, Zombie Simpsons will do that to you.

Charlie Sweatpants: When Krusty let her go for what can almost be described as a decent Simpsons-esque reason, they screwed it up by chickening out and giving it a sappy ending.

Dave: Well you forget Charlie, they had to celebrate a meaningless milestone

Mad Jon: Oh yeah, the best is apparently yet to come. So I guess all our fears can be set aside.

Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t know about that. "Fear" implies uncertainty, whereas I know that there’s at least another season and a half of this feculent drivel left (and probably more than that).

Dave: Ye of little faith.

Mad Jon: Well put. I remember about 15 years ago when Troy McClure told us that this is going to go on until the show becomes unprofitable.

Dave: It’s going to go on until the actors croak.

Mad Jon: Those can be replaced.

Dave: Damn you and your relentless logic.

Charlie Sweatpants: Unprofitability is but a scant hope these days.

I will say that there was one joke in this episode I liked. Near the beginning when they were auditioning Krusty’s replacements and one of them says "Hey hey, I’m non-union!"

Dave: I thought that was cute.

Charlie Sweatpants: But like Bart and Milhouse’s agony this may be either a ridiculously clever threat at those sadly mortal voice actors or just more unintentional irony.

Dave: Again I’m voting for the latter.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yup.

Anything else? I can’t help but feel like all we’ve criticized is the romantic comedy ending, the massively out of character B plot, and the intentionally dull nature of the main plot.

But when I type it out like that it seems longer than it felt.

Dave: That pretty well covers it. I might add though that Hathaway’s Long Island accent was excruciating

Mad Jon: I didn’t know that Anne Hathaway could sing. Not that it matters, and for all I know it wasn’t even her, but whatever. Also, I always thought that, um, dogs, laid eggs.

Dave: And as a once and future New Yorker, wildly offensive

Charlie Sweatpants: IMDB says she was born in Brooklyn though.

Mad Jon: Hah, her accent does suck. So that’s pretty funny.

Charlie Sweatpants: So she can’t convincingly imitate her own accent . . . actually that is kinda funny.

Dave: Brooklyn isn’t Long Island friend

I mean, they might be on the same island but they’re worlds apart

Charlie Sweatpants: But culturally they’re different, I got you.

Mad Jon: Go back to the east coast you bastard. You probably like the Yankees too, don’t you. Everything I know about you is a lie.

Dave: I don’t know how to begin to respond to that.

Charlie Sweatpants: Don’t.

He’s probably been drinking.

Mad Jon: Sorry, I typed the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud.

Charlie Sweatpants: Ha.

Mad Jon: And actually I am stone sober, so that’s probably my problem right now.

Sorry Dave

Charlie Sweatpants: Sobriety is irritating.

Dave: I forgive you Jon.

Charlie Sweatpants: So once again we’ve come to anger while discussing Zombie Simpsons.

Mad Jon: We have to stop this. It’s tearing us apart.

Charlie Sweatpants: Zombie Simpsons is like that slime from Ghostchasers II, it makes good people to bad things.


Multicultural Sunday Morning

I’m posting this strictly because it cracked me up just now:

Batman científico. 

(via Twitter)


Quote of the Day

Marge vs. the Monorail1

“What do they do with these things after we seal ‘em?” – Lenny

“I hear they dump ‘em in an abandoned chalk mine and cover ‘em with cement.” – Carl

“I hear they’re sending ‘em to one of those Southern states where the governor’s a crook.” – Lenny

“Either way, I’m sleepin’ good tonight.” – Carl


No fat chicks. No, really.


Believe it or not, The Simpsons has a storied history of hating on fat chicks. This is the second third in a series of three four such jokes, preceeded by Homer’s “no fat chicks” billboard remark in “Marge vs. The Monorail” and his “No Fat Chicks” t-shirt in “Marge on the Lam,” and followed by the song “Minimum Wage Nanny” in “Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious.”  It’s entirely possible that other “no fat chicks” references have popped up elsewhere since Season 8, but hopefully no one who really appreciates what we do here at Dead Homer Society gives a shit.  (Thanks for the correction, Charlie.)


Synergy: May I Get Out from Under Your Desk Now?

“A solar eclipse, the cosmic ballet goes on.” – Leonard Nimoy

Editing this review so that it no longer reeks of Fox Executive ball sweat and dick smell was far more fun than the episode itself.  I even remembered things I’d blocked out, like the solar powered train that stopped in an eclipse.  Where the hell have I seen that before?  Ah well, I’m sure it’ll come to me.  Enjoy:

March 16, 2009 – The story can often make all the difference in an episode of The Simpsons. Watching Principal Skinner lead the riffraff students out of the inner city two episodes ago was fun and funny to watch painfully stupid partly because the story made no damn sense. Having Ned buy the Simpson home to become their landlord was a bit less inspired last week equally retarded, and I enjoyed that episode less hope I forget both of them soon. So it’s no surprise that I thoroughly enjoyed despisedGone, Maggie, Gone,” with its bent dimwitted take on a Da Vinci Code-like mystery. It was funny boring, clever simple minded and a downright enjoyable soul crushing viewing experience.

The solar eclipse that began the episode may at first have seemed like the often unrelated opening bit that would move us onto the actual story, but here it played a major role there was no actual story. It was the key event that would set off a hunt for the Gem of St. Theresa series of random sight gags. But first, there was some fun to be had screen time to kill. One of the most least entertaining parts of this episode for me was seeing Ed Begley driving his solar powered car, which lost power on the train tracks. And then the bit really paid off kept going longer than it should with the train also losing power because it was an “Ed Begley Solar Powered Train.” If that wasn’t funny hackneyed enough, I laughed out loud shrugged with indifference when I saw Ed Begley was a guest voice in this episode without saying a word. He simply gasped and sighed in his short but and ineffective sequence. (Editor’s Note: Begley is a third rate celebrity at best, it isn’t like doing a miniscule guest voice on a show as mediocre as Zombie Simpsons is some big step down the fame ladder for him.)

Marge’s blindness from looking at the eclipse set up a few great bits made no sense and wasn’t funny but was played for dumb laughs anyway, including Dr. Hibbert showing the clip explaining Tex Avery Syndrome. There were also the numerous and unnecessary attempts to trick Marge into thinking Maggie and Lisa were still around. Homer’s Maggie hand puppet was great awful even by the standards of Zombie Simpsons. Of course, losing Maggie was the contrived reason for all of this, and this happened during Homer’s hilarious send-up time killing duplication of the classic fox/duck/corn across a river riddle. Better yet Eating even more time was the puzzle puzzling itself out with Cletus and a very full fox. When Homer left Maggie at a convent’s steps, the really shitty parts puzzle of the episode began.

Lisa infiltrated the nuns to try and get Maggie back, but uncovered a far greater mystery way to fill the contractually obligated amount of air time. I really enjoy cannot fucking stand the adventure thinly thought through stories likes this that The Zombie Simpsons have given us in the past. My favorite One of the worst is “Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in ‘The Curse of the Flying Hellfish Simpson Safari” but “Gone, Maggie, Gone” has shot up the list. The riddles plot contrivances were fun awful and the story was entertaining and funny equally terrible. The never-ending Rube Goldberg contraption opening up a secret panel in the church was a great lazy start. It was also a smart necessary choice to get more of the townsfolk involved in the mystery rather than simply following Lisa from clue to clue, because that will only take up so much time. Principal Skinner and Comic Book Guy were an unlikely pair there, and that added to the comedy. It was also perfect weak story telling to have Mr. Burns show up as a third faction searching for the gem to help move along the un-resolvable mess the writers got themselves into. The ending was sweet batshit fucking crazy, with Maggie removing Marge’s bandages, and I even enjoyed the hellish results of Bart taking Maggie’s place on the throne made even less sense.

As entertaining horrifyingly brain melting as the story was, it would not have made a difference if it weren’t just as equally horrifyingly unfunny. Marge had a great line after her family kept her blind period fully stress-free: “Everyday Every day has been like the first ten minutes of Mother’s Day.” I laughed scratched my head and looked at the clock throughout the retelling of the legend of St. Theresa, which included pirate nuns and a fake war for independence. Mr. Burns referring to Smithers as his albino was another hilarious bit rote plot point plugged in from The Da Vinci Code. (“I’m not an albino. I just use a lot of sun block.” “Then why do I give all the albino holidays off, hmm?”) Overall, it was the combination of a fully engaging idiotic story and great a complete lack of laughs that made “Gone, Maggie, Gone” another winner disaster for The Zombie Simpsons in their post-hi-def series run.


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