“Homer, are you alright?” – Marge Simpson
“I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough.” – Homer Simpson
“You’ve only been gone two days.” – Marge Simpson
“Really? Without teevee it’s hard to know when one day begins and the other ends.” – Homer Simpson
“You can even keep in touch with him on this ham radio.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Jebus, where are you? Homer to Jebus!” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, what happened to all the shirtless girls you see in all the geographical magazines?” – Homer Simpson
“Craig and Amy gave us the gift of shame.” – Q’Toktok
“Sanctuary! Sanctuary!” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, why did I teach him that word?” – Reverend Lovejoy
“We taught them some English, and ridiculed away most of their beliefs.” – Craig
“So, you can take it from there. Bye!” – Amy
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite!…Seriously.” – Craig
“Sure, FOX makes a fortune from advertising, but it’s still not enough.” – Telethon Guy
“Not nearly enough!” – Rupert Murdoch
So long (once again) Futurama!
“So, if you don’t want to see crude, low brow programming disappear from the airwaves, please call now.” – Betty White
It was going to be a slow week for Reading Digest, and then the hard working scribes at Entertainment Weekly reported that Zombie Simpsons will be doing a crossover episode. Predictably, that caused everyone and their sister to comment on it, even though the episode won’t be airing until Fall of 2014. Plus, despite taking place in Springfield, it’s going to be a Family Guy episode.
By the laws of blogger kanly I supposed I have to say something about this, so here it is: meh. Both of these shows are long past their expiration date and this won’t change that at all. We get linked from random internet forums, discussion boards and the like quite a bit, so I see a lot of generalized fan discussion about the show, which often includes discussion of Family Guy as well. Based on that anecdotal experience, my sense is that a lot of fans have the same opinion of current Family Guy episodes that we do about Zombie Simpsons: that it basically goes through the motions and isn’t nearly as funny as it once was.
(For whatever it’s worth, I gave up on Family Guy about three years into the second run. I thought their first season back was one of their strongest ever, but they ran out of steam very quickly.)
In addition to the crossover non-event, we’ve got the usual smorgasbord of Simpsons goodness: lots of fan art, some excellent usage and references, a couple of lists, more graffiti from Illinois and British Columbia, a comparison of Martin Prince and James Joyce, and proof that extreme dog grooming can be used for good, instead of evil.
Enjoy.
High Art: Interview with artist Ryan Humphrey – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this interview/photo spread of one of the guys who’s working on the Bartkira project. Plus this:
When looking at something like your version of ‘Battle Royale’ with the characters from ‘The Simpsons’ it would seem that some type of sketch work would need to be done beforehand, yet you keep the work so loose and alive. What’s your process on a project like that?
It’s strange because most of the work I do there is hardly any planning at all. Some of the ideas that pop in my head appear instantly and then I start to work right away. I work usually in one good hit; nearly all of my work will be completed in around 3 days. I try to make them as fresh as the idea is in my head.
Click through for a bunch of cool Simpsons sketches.
Someone Please Help This Poodle Groomed to Look Like The Simpsons – You should probably look at this dog. Wow.
Saturday Mornin’ Cartoons: My Top 5 Animated Shows – The show takes its proper place at #1 here, with this cromulent insight:
The Simpsons is one of the shows that grows up as you do. I thought Bart was funny when I was a young guy and suddenly when boobs and beer becomes my priorities, Homer J. Simpson became my role model. The Simpsons is one of the greatest animated shows and I will always watch whenever it is on and JUST EAT THE DAMN ORANGE!
El Barto Strikes Again: More Simpsons Graffiti Art in Naperville – Just what it says, with quite a few pictures of El Barto’s signature.
El Barto uses the potty – And another from inside the men’s room.
Bubbles – More elaborate Simpsons graffiti from Vancouver, including Marge in a bubble bath. That kid in Illinois is falling behind.
The Simpsons Chess Set – Just what it says.
The Best Recurring TV Characters of All Time. – Grampa makes a list that is mostly characters from far more recent series.
James Joyce: “Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!” – Hemmingway was kinda like Nelson.
Homer and Bart Simpson – Fan made hard boiled eggs. Cool.
Canstruction Fights Hunger, One Can At A Time – Canned food turned into temporary sculptures includes one of a giant Krusty the Klown head. (It’s the fifth picture in the slideshow.)
MineSimpsonArts – Pixel art Maggie Simpson / partie 1 – The narration is in French, and the whole YouTube video goes on for sixteen minutes, so you don’t need to watch it all. But there is a rather impressive Minecraft construction of the family right at the beginning.
CANOE – JAM! Television: ‘Summer Camp’ a battle of the sexes – Another nice reference:
This is no Kamp Krusty.
Viewers of The Simpsons will remember the state of that dilapidated endeavour. Hey, they drove a dump truck full of money to Krusty’s house. He’s not made of stone.
The digs are much better on the new reality-competition series Summer Camp, which makes its Canadian debut Friday, July 19 on Slice. And there’s plenty of physical eye candy for any sexual persuasion, too, as opposed to, you know, Milhouse.
Nobody likes Milhouse.
See Your Favorite Pop Culture Characters As "Simpsons" – A little background on the guy who made the Simpsonized Game of Thrones characters, with a couple of examples. The Sopranos one is really good.
‘The Simpsons,’ ‘Family Guy’ doing crossover episode – Here it is folks:
Simpsons castmembers Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith and Hank Azaria will lend their voices to the installment, in which Peter and the rest of the Griffins embark on a road trip and wind up in Springfield. There, they cross paths with Homer, who graciously greets his new “albino” visitors, and the two families become fast friends. Stewie is impressed with Bart and his assortment of pranks, Lisa tries to figure out exactly what it is that she’s good at, and Marge and Lois do some bonding. Meanwhile, Peter and Homer argue over which beer is better: Pawtucket or Duff.
I’m slightly curious to see how Springfield looks when done in Family Guy’s animation, but only slightly.
The Simpsons: 10 Awesome Easter Eggs – This is one of the pageview whoring things where every fucking entry is on a separate page, so I wouldn’t recommend clicking all the way through. I’d just like to note that this is the intro:
This is a list of 10 ‘easter eggs’ hidden throughout The Simpsons’ 24 season life span.
Except, of course, that there’s only one entry from past Season 9, and it’s the time Peter Griffin was drawn into that Homer cloning Halloween segment. Nobody like Zombie Simpsons either.
10 Cases of ‘Family Guy’ Ripping Off ‘The Simpsons’ – And speaking of Family Guy, here’s another list with only one Zombie Simpsons entry.
Op-ed: The Simpsons, Comic-Con, and Me – A little more anecdotal support for that study about the support the show has for LGBT people, issues and general what have you.
Mr. Hockey: The Gordie Howe Story – Oh, Gordie:
Gordie Howe’s name is synonymous with the sport he played, ice hockey. True, to some of a certain age, he is also known as the long-distance love interest of Edna Krabappel, Bart Simpson’s teacher on an episode of “The Simpsons.” Bart uses a picture of the hockey Hall-of-Famer to give Miss Krabappel a whirlwind letter-writing romance. To the rest of the world, he is simply Mr. Hockey.
Is there a Woodrow Howe out there somewhere?
Logitech Makes Computer Speakers Cool Again with the Z600 – Nice reference:
Logitech has come out with an affordable set of Bluetooth speakers that should do nicely for anyone wanting to replace their desktop or laptop’s stock audio offerings.
The speakers, which sort of resemble futuristic towers or the nuclear power plant stacks from The Simpsons, come in a pair and can connect to any Bluetooth device.
The Battle of the Domes – I haven’t watched The Dome, but lots of people have been making the comparison to the movie, and this is a nice one.
Those four fingered, yellow freaks we all know and love – A photo montage of some of our favorite wacky characters.
Bart Simpson – A stylish lady in a stylish Bart Simpson dress in Singapore.
Meet marge – Heh.
Is This The Real Life…Is This Just Fantasy? – Nothing’s ever as good as it looks on TV:
As a young tike, I remember watching The Simpsons. I was always intrigued when Homer would stroll into Moe’s Tavern and order a beer. Moe would grab an icy mug and fill it up with Homer’s favorite Duff beer. The head of the beer flowing over the rim of the mug; exuding a succulent presentation. It always made Homer content to be downing the cold beverage. The foamy goodness of the beer head reminded me of the sugary texture of cotton candy (or “fairy floss” if you are from down under). I yearned for an opportunity to drown my taste buds in it. When the day arrived on my, ahem, TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY, ahem, I ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale at a local pub. The beer had a good head on it, and all my childhood memories of the Simpsons flooded my mind. I lifted the glass to my lips, feeling the condensation of the glass on the palm of my hand and the droplets of fizzled beer splashing about. I tilted my head back and took a big gulp.
Yucky. Yeah, men say yucky.
I always like that scene in “Bart on the Road” where the boys go to Moe’s and Barney invites them to “Join the party”.
Grown Ups 2…In 10 Words – Toga, toga, toga, 2000!
Pacific Rim…In 10 Words – I got nothing here. Everyone should see this in the theater. (I’ve done so twice.) Easily my favorite sci-fi movie of the year.
Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 49) – Marge, I agree with you in theory. In theory, Simpsons episode tournaments work. In theory.
Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 50) – George Lucas makes him pay for those.
Droool … “The Simpsons” collection gets starstruck with NECA’s “25 of the Greatest Guest Stars” action figure line – And by that they mean celebrities voicing themselves.
Catch a Wave with Whimzie Quiltz – Oh, cool, the woman who runs this site makes custom quilts and you can order them with Simpsons fabric.
A History of the Side-Scrolling Beat-‘Em-Up – Part 2 – As I learned from doing this very site, the reason everyone links the Ninja Turtles arcade game and the Simpsons arcade game is that they’re actually the same freaking game, just with different sprites and pixels. Fun as hell, the both of them (especially for early 90s button mashers), but the same game nevertheless.
DailyTech – Paper Suggests Neanderthals Could Speak – Heh:
But can they sing? And was Dr. Zaius involved?
Chorus: "He can speak, he can speak, he can speak!"
Troy McClure as Taylor: "I can singggg!"
"Planet of the Apes: The Musical" from The Simpsons epsiode "A Fish Called Selma"
The chorus actually says that he can “talk”, but that’s still good for moderate usage.
Know It All – A column of random facts contains this:
A group of monkeys is called a troop.
***
Different monkeys have been in episodes of the animated series “The Simpsons” (1989-present) over the years. Homer Simpson had a helper monkey named Mojo. Krusty the Clown had a chain-smoking monkey named Mr. Teeny. Mr. Burns had a fighting monkey named Furious George.
***
Marge Simpson’s mother on “The Simpsons” is named Jackie Bouvier.
***
After graduating from college in 1951, Jackie Bouvier (1929-1994) worked for the Washington Times-Herald as the Inquiring Camera Girl. She asked people on the streets questions about issues and their opinions were printed along with their picture. That is how she met her future husband John F. Kennedy (1917-1963).
Yeah, but why did she think that Mindy lived with “Mark”?
Marge’s nutmeg a pinch of salt – Excellent usage:
IN an episode of The Simpsons, Marge visits not Walmart but Monstromart, exclaiming, "Ooh, that’s a good price for 12lb of nutmeg" as she places the giant box in her trolley. It’s ambitious to think that anyone would need that much nutmeg in a lifetime. And yet because Marge believes the price is cheap she buys it. I call it "going broke saving money". It’s a popular strategy in the stockmarket.
“Treehouse of Horror V” | The Simpsons (Classic) – And finally, the A.V. Club’s very slow Simpsons review rolls on, and tacitly agrees with us:
It’s weird these days to think of The Simpsons as an aggressive show, but that’s exactly what “Treehouse Of Horror V” was—an act of aggression by showrunner David Mirkin. It’s spectacularly funny, arguably the best “Treehouse” ever (certainly right up there in the pantheon), and it’s also surprisingly gross and just a little bit disturbing.
Zombie Simpsons is many things, but aggressive certainly isn’t one of them.
“Oh, save me, Jebus!” – Homer Simpson
For the fourth summer in a row, we here at the Dead Homer Society will be spending some time discussing twelve year old Simpsons episodes. This year we’re doing Season 11. Why Season 11? Because we’ve done Seasons 8, 9 and 10 already, and it’s time to take an unflinching look at the end of the show. Since Skype and podcasts didn’t exist in 1999, and we want to discuss these episodes the way the internet intended, we’re sticking with the UTF-8 world of chat rooms and instant messaging. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “amalgamation”).
Today’s episode is 1115, “Missionary Impossible”. Tomorrow will be 1116, “Pygmoelian”.
A Brief Note on “Jebus”: As discussed below, this episode is illogical, racist, and really terrible in a lot of ways, but it did give the world “Jebus”, a fantastic term that has spread far and wide in the years since it first appeared. I’ve seen it used in more publications and by more people than perhaps any other creation of the show outside of “D’oh” and “Worst/Best. [Blank]. Ever.”. That said, I am mystified as to why it is sometimes spelled with two “e”s, “Jeebus”. There’s even a guy quoted in this episode’s Wikipedia article spelling it that way. I’m not king of words or anything, and my own spelling is atrocious enough that I am in no position to cast stones or point at the mote in my brother’s eye (as it were), I just don’t see why you’d spell it that way when it’s pronounced exactly like the original word.
Charlie Sweatpants: Shall we get to it, then?
Mad Jon: Let’s.
Dave: Yes, let’s.
Mad Jon: Missionary Impossible?
Charlie Sweatpants: I have a very simple opinion on this episode: it sucks . . . but it gave the word "Jebus", and that is worth the rest of it.
Dave: Jebus is a wonderful thing
Otherwise this episode doesn’t register at all
Mad Jon: It’s like a travel episode where they forgot to bring the rest of the family.
That’s two strikes right there.
Although I thought the PBS pledge drive had a few ups.
Charlie Sweatpants: Structurally, it is a complete mess, and the weirdness ebbs and flows like a toilet tank that hasn’t been given enough time to properly refill between flushes.
Mad Jon: But for me, the rest was kind of a random amalgamation of events loosely structured around Homer teaching the natives to be Homer.
…So I basically agree with you.
Charlie Sweatpants: You’re just relaxing after the whole Bart-as-Homer thing, and then it’s time for a giant earthquake/volcano/whatever.
Mad Jon: You mean the end?
Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah.
Mad Jon: Where everyone died but Betty White?
Charlie Sweatpants: What I mean is that this one goes back and forth between being kinda calm and then turning into something approximating a Halloween episode, and it does this like every thirty seconds.
One minute, Homer and the non-denominational-"microasians" are working together to build a chapel . . . then Homer rings a bell so loud it opens up the earth beneath them.
Dave: I find "microasians" offensive, btw.
Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t blame you. About halfway through I was trying to figure out if this episode was more or less racist because they invented the least inventive fictional place ever.
Dave: I think that makes it more racist.
They couldn’t be bothered to be creative.
Charlie Sweatpants: It almost feels like one of those Bugs Bunny cartoons they can’t show on TV anymore. Like, here’s all the stereotypes at once, but it’s okay because we’re the Simpsons and so it’s not serious.
There’s no way they would’ve done something that clumsy two or three seasons before this.
Mad Jon: So, does that bother you more or less than the "B" microplot?
You know, the one that started and that’s all.
Charlie Sweatpants: You mean Bart becoming Homer and then nothing happening except one of the worst Burns scenes up to this point?
Mad Jon: That’s it all right.
I was pretty unhappy with that whole thing.
It made me look not lazy. And that is a feat, my friend.
Charlie Sweatpants: It was astonishing that it was what they went with to give the rest of the family something to do. I thought it was just a little joke to be tossed off by Homer on the radio, but they actually made it a plot. I guess the toaster going to daycare was cut for time.
In between blundering from one "wait, what the fuck is going on?" moment to another, it also stretches a lot of jokes.
The PBS thing at the beginning is the perfect example, and that’s before you get to all the characters chasing Homer down the street.
Just that opening with the fake PBS show tacks on way longer than what amounts to the exact same joke at the beginning of "Marge on the Lam".
Mad Jon: Agreed.
Charlie Sweatpants: Crude British sitcoms, okay fine, but it’s not a good enough idea to take up all that time.
Mad Jon: But I did kind of like the pledge enforcement van.
Charlie Sweatpants: Perfect example. Pledge enforcement is kinda funny.
Mad Jon: I could have done without everyone that was ever born chasing homer however, as you have pointed out.
Charlie Sweatpants: Right. And even then it doesn’t make sense.
Homer gets chased by magical and fictional characters . . . who for some reason lose track of him in the church . . . even though we saw Oscar and Elmo chase him into the fucking church.
Even if you grant that scene all of its fantastic characters, it still doesn’t make sense.
Mad Jon: At that point it was just moving the plot along, but whatever. We have to get Homer somewhere that he can lick toads and corrupt recently Christianized natives somehow.
Charlie Sweatpants: But it did give us Jebus.
Mad Jon: But it did give us Jebus, that is correct.
Dave: Jebus, woo!
Charlie Sweatpants: And there are a couple of other decent little jokes scattered about, "the gift of shame", and I’ve always kinda liked the no-nonsense brutality of the pelican just falling over, but Jebus is so wonderfully versatile that it blows everything else away here.
Mad Jon: Agreed, Also I forgot about the gift of shame, which is hilarious. Mainly because of my Catholic wife’s constant handwringings.
Charlie Sweatpants: Betty White also gets in a couple of decent lines when she’s talking about how much she hates thieves. But the chase scene, and the collection scene, and even that bit at the end with the FOX telethon drag on, so even she doesn’t come out ahead.
Anything else here, or should we move on to Moe’s new face?
Mad Jon: I got nothing else, let’s get while the gettin’s good.
Charlie Sweatpants: Thank Jebus.
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken