“What is your area of expertise?” – Adult Education Annex Administrator
“Well, I can tell the difference between butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” – Homer Simpson
“No you can’t, Mr. Simpson, no one can!” – Adult Education Annex Administrator
“Apparently, that disturbing odor was the food.” – Sideshow Mel
“Good news, Lisa! I don’t need your mother anymore! I’ve created a replacement that’s superior to her in almost every way.” – Homer Simpson
“Dad, that’s just a plant.” – Lisa Simpson
“Lisa, you will respect your new mother!” – Homer Simpson
“Earth base, this is Commander Bart McCool, we are under attack by the Zornid Brainchangers. Quickly, into the safety dome, Milbot!” – Bart Simpson
“Affirmative, humanoid.” – Milhouse van Houten
“Eww.” – Bart Simpson & Milhouse van Houten
“Don’t mind me, boys. Just scrubbin’ my undies.” – Homer Simpson
“Sorry, Bart, your Dad kinda blew the fantasy. I only like it when I’m pretend scared.” – Milhouse van Houten
“Alright, brain, it’s all up to you. If you don’t think of what it is, we’ll lose Marge forever.” – Homer Simpson
“Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding.” – Homer’s Brain
“Okay. But then we gotta get to work.” – Homer Simpson
“My problem is I’m a real user of women. I move in right away and stay until the money’s gone.” – Lionel Hutz
“Well, I’m a smart woman but I make bad choices. . . . Okay, here’s a set of house keys and my ATM card.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“I can’t believe I paid ten thousand dollars for this course! What the heck was that lab fee for?” – Otto
“My standards are just too high, you know? I feel like nobody’s good enough for me. . . . Whoa, you think you got ’em all, but you forget about the eggs.” – Otto
“I think it’s great you’re a teacher, Dad. So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text or using the more Socratic method of interactive class participation?” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes, Lisa, Daddy’s a teacher.” – Homer Simpson
“It’s that horrible Mr. Burns, isn’t it?” – Not Eunice
“You leave Mr. Burns out of this!” – Streetcar Smithers
“Smithers! Smithers!” – Streetcar Burns
Apologies, but there won’t be a Reading Digest today, once again on account of my stupid real job. However, please enjoy this .gifs that I don’t think I put on the site:
“Can I take your order?” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
“Nothing for me today. I’ve got a class to teach!” – Homer Simpson
“Sir, it’s a felony to tease the order box.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
“Oh, good, Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back. He has to push the sanctity of marriage or his God will punish him.” – Homer Simpson
“Get a divorce.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Mmm-hmm.” – Helen Lovejoy
“But isn’t that a sin?” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, just about everything is a sin. You ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not allowed to go to the bathroom.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Happy 20th Anniversary to “Secrets of a Successful Marriage”! Original airdate: 19 May 1994.
“And how is my little major leaguer, catch any junebugs today?” – Homer Simpson
“Well, me and Milhouse took some mail from a mail truck and threw it down the sewer.” – Bart Simpson
“Son, I know you meant well, but that wasn’t the right thing to do.” – Homer Simpson
“What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one who double dared us.” – Bart Simpson
“One way to drive your man wild is to wear tight, revealing clothes.” – Patty Bouvier
“Eww.” – Women in “Turn a Man Into Putty In Your Hands” Class
“At this point, I’d like to remind you there are no refunds.” – Patty Bouvier
“Keep up the roughhousing, son. Without a strong male presence in the house, you could turn sissy overnight! Oh, these stubborn grass stains.” – Homer Simpson
“If you feel so bad about yourself, there’s always things you can do to feel better.” – Marge Simpson
“Take another bath in malt liquor?” – Homer Simpson
“There’s that.” – Marge Simpson
“Wow, I’ve never seen Mom so mad at Homer before.” – Bart Simpson
“I’ll tell you a secret, Bart. Every time I’m worried about Mom and Dad, I go to the attic and add to my ball of string.” – Lisa Simpson
“Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster’s dictionary describes a wedding as ‘the process of removing weeds from one’s garden’.” – Homer Simpson
“Besides, every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?” – Homer Simpson
“That’s because you were drunk!” – Marge Simpson
“And how.” – Homer Simpson
“What is your area of expertise?” – Adult Education Annex Administrator
“Well, I can tell the difference between butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” – Homer Simpson
“No you can’t, Mr. Simpson, no one can!” – Adult Education Annex Administrator
Happy birthday Greg Daniels!
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken