Posts Tagged ‘Sideshow Bob Roberts


Quote of the Day

“Now, why are we doomed to this Quimby quagmire, you ask, oh, reasonable listener? Because this town is under the stranglehold of a few tie-dyed tree-huggers who would rather play hacky sack than lock up the homeless.” – Birch Barlow

Rush Limbaugh died, and while I have read a few appropriately scathing summations, this is the best I’ve seen at explaining his appeal. Birch was cool to the uncoolest people in America, and it was worth tens of millions of dollars per year. 


Quote of the Day

“Boat’s on the other side.” – Prison Guard
“Yes. Thank you.” – Sideshow Bob


Quote of the Day

“We want the truth!” – Bart Simpson
“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth! No truth handler, you! Bah! I deride your truth handling abilities!” – Sideshow Bob

If you’re here in the U.S. and you’re registered to vote, for fuck’s sake, go do that. I really really don’t want tomorrow’s quote to be about Bob stealing the election.

And once you’ve voted, enjoy this fine list of ways to kill time until actual results come in: Simpsons Episodes for a Dreary Election.


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Hmm, I don’t agree with his Bart killing policy. But I do approve of his Selma killing policy.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Center image is Alexis Smith, shamelessly taken from here.

“What’s in it for us?” – Abe ‘Grampa’ Simpson
“Yeah, give us something we like or we’ll ride you out of town on a rail!” – Jasper
“Well, uh, what do you, uh, people like?” – Mayor Quimby
“Sleep.” – Jasper
“Sexy dames and plenty of ’em!” – Old Jewish Man
“Matlock!” – Abe ‘Grampa’ Simpson


Quote of the Day

“You know, there are three things we’re never going to get rid of here in Springfield: one, the bats in the public library; two, Mrs. McFearly’s compost heap; and, three, our six term mayor, the illiterate, tax cheating, wife swapping, pot smoking, spend-o-crat Diamond Joe Quimby.” – Birch Barlow
“Hey! I am no longer illiterate.” – Mayor Quimby


Quote of the Day


“And just look how happy he is.” – Kent Brockman


Quote of the Day


“Now then, gentlemen, the mayoral campaign is upon us. If we hope to defeat this Joe Quimby, we need a candidate with name recognition and media savvy, a true leader who will do exactly as he’s told.” – C.M. Burns
“Monty, I’m way ahead of you. If you’ll just open that door you’ll see the next mayor of Springfield.” – Birch Barlow


Quote of the Day


“Students, I want you to be on your best behavior for this carefully choreographed media event. Now, this means there is to be no wising off, no face making, and no grass eating. This means you, Ralph.” – Principal Skinner
“Yes, sir.” – Ralph Wiggum


Quote of the Day


“I shouldn’t have shaken hands with those old people.” – Mayor Quimby
“I hope that flu doesn’t affect his performance.” – Lisa Simpson
“Don’t worry, he’s taken a million of these capsules.” – Bart Simpson


Behind Us Forever: Peeping Mom

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This single shot from “Sideshow Bob Roberts” contains a more coherent story than the entirety of “Peeping Mom”.

After four weeks off, Zombie Simpsons is back.  Not much changed.  This week, Chief Wiggum accuses Bart of going on a bulldozer rampage, he then hands Bart to Marge so that the two of them can have the same idiotic conversation several times in a row.  Because that one note attempt at emotion couldn’t possibly fill twenty whole minutes of screen time, the Flanderses get a new dog who likes Homer better than Ned.

– Decent couch gag.

– We’re not off to a good start here as Marge walks into the Apple store (or whatever they’re calling it) and has a random stranger exposit things at her before taking off his shirt and waving it around.

– Marge is in the car, brakes suddenly, then asks what happened so Lou can appear out of nowhere to tell her.

– Chief Wiggum, handcuffed to Bart (who is weirdly silent) continues this week’s parade of telling us what’s happening.

– Now Lisa is using a magnifying glass to look at, in order, “monarch butterfly, earwig, rollypolly, doodle bug, beer cap, ant, beer bottle, Barney”.  She then tells us that the Flanders got a new dog.

– Oof:

Ned: Now it’s time for her Christian doggy training.
Lisa: This will be interesting.

Guess what comes next?

– This conversation between Marge and Bart is really bad.

– Sigh:

Homer: Marge, Bart, I’ve noticed neither of you has said a word all meal.  Are there feelings going unexpressed here?

He then holds up his fist and threatens . . . both of them?  It’s not clear.  It is awful writing, though.

– Marge and Bart are now in the kitchen going through the exact same conversation we just saw them have . . . again.  In a sick way, it’s almost impressive how many words they can use to describe basically nothing.

– Ooh, a popped eyeball!  When it doubt, go with what you know.

– They’re still having the same back-and-forth conversation.  Bart says something, Marge doesn’t believe him, repeat until time on the episode expires.  For extra stupidity this week, neither of them is acting like even a vaguely sentient person.  Marge hasn’t asked Bart for an explanation and Bart hasn’t offered one.  In what parent-child conversation has that ever been true?  And we’re on the third go round of this.

– Marge is now following Bart onto the school bus.

– Homer just said, “Oh, you must be Flanders’ new dog.”  We’re looking right at him!

– Marge is in class with Bart now.  Even if this did make sense it wouldn’t help when Nelson just ran screaming out of the room because he thinks she’s a zombie.

– The bullies just zinged Bart while Marge stood there.  Nice to see they still don’t care who’s present for a conversation.

– Now we’re on the playground.  Milhouse just told us what we were about to see, then we saw it.

– Now we’re at dinner and Marge told Lisa to lean back so she could keep looking at Bart.  Here’s one of the problems with this: we’ve already seen Marge not look at Bart several times.  Her focus on looking at him at all times is so stupid they can’t even keep it up, but they keep bringing it back up.

– Lisa and Homer are now having a fully expositive conversation, with both of them say how they feel at all times.

– Now Bart and Milhouse are in the woods.  This will make it even stupider the next time Marge insists on focusing her gaze at all times on Bart.

– Bart and Marge just rehashed their conversation again.  Neither one of them offering or asking for an explanation.  Ten minutes to go, I’m setting the O/U on times this happens again at 2.5.

– Oh, goody, half the family is dressed like ninjas now.

– The b-plot about Flanders dog just checked in.

– Now we’re rehashing the opening credit sequence as Marge chases Bart.  Filleriffic!

– Even by the rock bottom standards of their chase/action sequences, this is bad.

– Yet another bulldozer conversation rehash.  Two and a half minutes since the last one.

– The b-plot is winding down, so Homer’s Brain is now expositing what he’s feeling for us.

– After telling us what he was feeling several times, Bart changes his big, end-of-episode prank.  That took a lot of time.

– Bart just ran up and told us what we just saw him do.

– And, naturally, we get one final bulldozer conversation.  The under has it at 2.0 since I set it.

– Since they remain completely unwilling or unable to structure an episode to actually fill their allotted time, we’re now getting one of their bizarro post-plot series of sketches.  This one involved dog’s butt sniffing and the theme from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

Anyway, the numbers are in and they continue to be real bad.  Last night, just 3.23 million people couldn’t understand why Bart and Marge had the same idiotic conversation over and over again.  That’s #4 on the all time least watched list and keeps Season 26 on track to be the least watched season ever.


Quote of the Day

Sideshow Bob Roberts12

“That Quimby fella promised to build us a Matlock Expressway.  How you gonna top that, smart guy?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“How’s this?  I’ll not only build the expressway, I will spend the remainder of this afternoon patiently listening to your interminable anecdotes.” – Sideshow Bob
“Hot, diggity damn, me first!…Not many people know, I owned the first radio in Springfield.  Weren’t much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over.  A, he’d say, then B, C would usually follow…” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson


Reading Digest: Crossover Fallout Edition

Sideshow Bob Roberts11

“Bart, we can’t let Bob steal the spotlight.  We’re gonna have to stoop to the lowest common denominator.” – Lisa Simpson
“I can do that.” – Bart Simpson

Seemingly everyone with an internet connection weighed in on the Family Guy crossover this week.  I couldn’t possibly read or link them all, so the below is by no means a definitive, or even a representative, sample, but broadly reactions seemed to fall into two categories.  There were people who hated it and there were people who liked it.  The difference is that the people who hated it, really hated it, while the people who liked it qualified their admiration with lots and lots of caveats and reservations.  So the below is mostly reviews of the crossover leavened with some other stuff that somehow made it through all the noise.


We Met the World’s Leading Authority on Bootleg Bart Simpson T-Shirts – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this interview with a guy who collects bootleg Bart t-shirts.  There’s a neat little video, lots of examples, and he even says this:

A lot of people bash the show now for not being like how it used to be, but the couch gags alone smash anything I’ve seen on TV. You don’t need to watch the full episode if you don’t want to, but man… watch those couch gags.

I keep saying it because it’s true: nobody cares about what’s actually in the episodes.

Is The Simpsons relying too heavily on gimmicks? – Yes.  (The article makes a number of good points that will be familiar to anyone reading this site, namely that the actual episodes are now by far the least important and visible part of the show.  Maybe they should pull the plug or something?  Nah, that’s crazy talk.)

Don Hertzfeldt’s Simpson’s Couch Gag is about relationships and mental illness – That couch gag got kind of lost in the shuffle this week, what with the death and the crossover.  I’m not sure I agree with this, but it’s by far the most thoughtful and careful writeup of it that I saw.

They did it! They actually did it! Why critical old me is pleasantly surprised by The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover – I guess it’s time to get started with the crossover links.  This is from someone who liked it:

This crossover was nothing less than a big “jokes-on-you” to everyone who was getting way too hyped about this crossover. Everything from the Griffin’s first conversation to the widely-predicted chicken-style end fight between Peter and Homer is a slap in this face to whoever thought this was going to be the best thing that’s ever hit Fox’s Sunday night line up.

Couch Potato: “The Simpsons Guy” B+ – Again, this is from someone who was generally pleased:

the special was smart to begin with Chris basically breaking the 4th wall and explain that crossovers are mostly a marketing ploy. Stewie then tells him to shut up, acknowledging that even if so, so what?

Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover – This is fairly typical:

Throughout the episode, characters from each of the two shows popped up in different scenes. It was fun to see some of the characters interact with one another and during these moments, we could easily identify how The Simpsons has inspired elements of Family Guy, but as the episode wore on, these interactions became less funny. Ultimately, an episode’s success has to rely on its ability to tell a story. An endless stream of interactions between characters from two different worlds does not accomplish this.

6 Other Potential TV Crossovers – This “it was okay but still lame” opinion was widespread:

In a television event that is almost as historic as the final episode of M*A*S*H, The Simpsons crossed over with Family Guy this past weekend, creating a relatively mild episode for both shows. I liked it, in the same way I generally like any new episode of The Simpsons or Family Guy. I will always be a fan of both shows, but I think we’ve all settled into a general state of mediocre acceptance. Still, whoever though it would happen, right?

The Simpsons/ Family Guy Crossover Review – See what I mean?:

With The Simpsons entering it 26th season, and Family Guy entering its 13th, these two much loved shows are perhaps both past their primes, but the novelty of seeing both families duke it on screen is a something that provides in part moments of greatness, in part missed opportunities, as well as a smattering of simply bizarre moments.

The 5 Worst Things About The ‘Family Guy’/’Simpsons Crossover – Uproxx gives it the blow-by-blow.

Family Guy: The Simpsons Guy (13.1) Review – An actually positive review with no sarcasm, irony, or sarcastic irony.  Also, the only one I saw.

Why Brandscaping Works – Unless you count the guy who saw it as a brilliant marketing ploy and actually used the word “brandscaping”.

9 ways the Family Guy/Simpsons crossover was a blight on humanity – Only nine?

The Simpsons Guy had Everything… Except Laughs – Yup:

No soul means that there is no organic drive. Neither the Griffins nor the Simpsons feel like real families anymore. Instead they all feel like actors, lining up to do the same routines regardless of whether or not there is any comedy left in them. When both shows were at their peak, they contained scripts that made the audience able to relate to the characters.

A Bomb in the Lasagna: “The Simpsons Guy” Was Slightly Less Horrible Than I Imagined – Nice one:

As a lifelong Simpsons fan who admittedly subscribes to the common wisdom that the show’s halcyon days are behind them (the new seasons middling premier didn’t help) and as someone whose enthusiasm for Family Guy has dwindled pretty markedly over the past several years, to say that I was less than thrilled about the crossover would be an understatement hovering somewhere between “the Hindenburg explosion was kind of a drag” or “John Wilkes Booth wasn’t really vibeing with what Lincoln was laying down” in terms of severity. But, a combination of failed self-restraint and journalistic integrity (the six of you who actually read this will remember that promise here) led me astray my better judgement and in front of Fox for an hour this past weekend. And, while “The Simpson’s Guy” might not have been the eldritch monstrosity that I believed it would be, it wasn’t much better.

Family Guy/Simpsons Crossover: Bad For Both Shows – The headline says it all, but the article has some fun moments:

“The Simpsons Guy” is a lame Family Guy episode that would never be talked about by anyone outside of the series’ core fanbase if it wasn’t also for the appearance of America’s favorite animated family. Family Guy is never going to be as great as The Simpsons, and both shows are aware of that. But “The Simpsons Guy” is bad for both of them: Family Guy comes off worse than usual, and it’s both frustrating and sad to see it try so hard to bring The Simpsons down to its level.

‘The Simpsons’ and ‘Family Guy’ came together and it was awesome and sad – You know things were bad when USA Today (America’s Favorite Pencil!) trashes the show on a sports blog:

It was funny, but also really sad. Mostly because after 26 years, The Simpsons isn’t funny. It’s been a very long time since The Simpsons had its edge,

‘Simpsons’ fans are totally underwhelmed by the death of (spoiler) – And speaking of McPaper:

So that was it?
That’s what a lot of Simpsons fans are saying after Sunday’s season premiere, when, after the show hyped that a character was going to die, the one who actually kicked the bucket was Krusty the Clown’s dad Rabbi Krustofski. Many fans were expecting a major character, like Krusty himself, to die, and they felt pretty underwhelmed after all the hype.

The Simpsons & the One-Trick Pony – Heh:

The crossover episode put the husband to sleep. It left me feeling like I’d spent an hour watching Seth MacFarlane’s therapy session. And I felt like I should send him an invoice and a list of suggestions for better handling his insecurities.

On TV: Review of ‘Family Guy’ and ‘The Simpsons’ cross-over – Feel the enthusiasm:

The crossover proved largely entertaining if unsurprising. Both “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy” are mature shows that have little room for growth. Their tropes are well-established and all-too predictable.

The Simpsons Guy – Another less than overwhelmed viewer:

Overall I did not like this crossover. The reason? Because it didn’t seem to know what it was supposed to be.

So there you go: lots of “meh” and more than a few “ugh”.  That was a worth a year of buildup.

Simpsons fake out on major death – As for the death of Krusty’s father, this seems to be a pretty typical reaction:

so he will be missed by the shows crew and cast, but maybe not as missed by the fans.

The Simpsons: Krusty’s Dad Dies — Rabbi Krustofsky Dead On Season Premiere – Jean doing a little post death publicity.  Nothing in the way of actual information, though.

Sunday Discussion: Comparing Alabama Political Leaders To The Simpsons – I know nothing about politics in Alabama, but these are some pretty good comparisons.

The Simpsons, Maths and Museums – A writeup of Jean and David X. Cohen at a British science museum talking up the math book.

Girl Gang – Very cool fan art of a Simpsons clad gang.  Bravo.

Don’t Make People Pay for Media, Let Them. – Yet another person whose parents tried and failed to prevent her from watching the show.

And Now: Breast Cancer Action Month – Excellent usage:

My problem is with the name. I’m okay with “breast” and “month,” but the rest?

The Simpsons once had an episode that cleverly poked fun at the idea of awareness of this or that. They had the Awareness Awards (for Awareness of course):

From The Simpsons episode “Behind the Laughter”

Bart: When Willie [Nelson] asked me to be a presenter at the New Awareness Awards, I had to think about it … for about a microsecond!

Marge: You just don’t say no to the redheaded stranger … and when I heard that it was for awareness, that sealed the deal!

But awareness in the social media age seems to be all about putting something, a cause or a product, in front of you early and often and then doing little else.

Kwik-E-Mart Reusable Bag Styled in Honor of ‘The Simpsons’ Convenience Store – Rabbi Krustofsky may be dead, but merchandising will live forever.

The Simpsons USB Sticks 8GB – I enjoy a decapitated head sticking out of my laptop.

We meet the guy who draws Homer Simpson in the sand on the South Bank – Our old friend Martin Artman got his name in the paper, and there’s more pictures of those giant beach drawings.

Wauseon students paint to win pizzas – Art students painted the family on the front of a snow plow.  No Mr. Plow, though, so that’s weird.

What to do with a Simpson’s house – Legos are always more fun when you don’t follow the instructions.

The logo 1.0 – Heh.

springfield nail game – Bart, Homer, Milhouse and Duff on fingernails.  Cool.

Bartsock – Some socks, including Bart and Homer ones.

‘Simpsons’ Creator Matt Groening Talks about Early Life, Cartooning – No real news or anything in this Groening interview, it’s just his usual stuff, but the picture of him with yellow hands was pretty clever.

On TV: Review of ‘The Simpsons’ Season 26 premiere – Someone agreeing with us:

I can’t do it. I can’t be generous to “The Simpsons” anymore. I just can’t. It’s dull. And I watched the premiere of the 26th season Sunday night. I chuckled once or twice.

Bart’s Right, Let’s ‘None Of Us Have A Cow’ – And finally, I get to end with someone who really agrees with us:

Well, because the problem is, that killing off a character, can’t possibly rekindle anyone’s interest in the Simpsons; I rarely tune in these days and lament the fact that Maude Flanders isn’t in it anymore. But the main reason that a ‘death’ can’t solve the Simpsons’ problems, is because it is already dead.



Bonus Quote of the Day

Sideshow Bob Roberts10

“Mr. Mayor, is is true you rigged the election?” – Lionel Hutz
“No, I did not.” – Mayor Terwilliger
“Kids, help.” – Lionel Hutz

Phil Hartman would’ve been 66 today, happy birthday!  


Quote of the Day

Stay Out of Riverdale

“Duh, stay out of Riverdale!” – Moose


Quote of the Day

Sideshow Bob Roberts9

“Well, I’ve had it!  I am going to make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free.” – Birch Barlow
“Nooooooo!” – Bart Simpson
“Well, despite Bart’s objections, the people of South Africa can now vote in free, democratic elections.” – Mrs. Krabappel


Quote of the Day

Voting Republican

“Oh my God, the dead have risen and they’re voting Republican!” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

Sideshow Bob Roberts8

“My friends, isn’t this just typical?  Another intelligent conservative here, railroaded by our liberal justice system, just like Colonel Oliver North, Officer Stacey Koon, and cartoon smokesperson Joe Camel.” – Birch Barlow


Compare & Contrast: The Republican High Command

Sideshow Bob Roberts7

“Hail, brothers!  Coranon silaria, ozoo mahoke!” – C.M. Burns
“Mahoke!” – Republicans

There were so many nonsense plot twists in “Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson” that some of the worst ones went by so quickly I almost didn’t notice that they had happened.  At one point though, they stopped briefly at the impenetrable fortress that is Republican Party Headquarters.  That imposing structure made its first appearance in “Sideshow Bob Roberts”, and while this isn’t the first time they’ve revisited it, this one was notably similar because the fiends and ghouls within its walls were doing the same thing they were doing back in Season 6: selecting a candidate.

In each case they weren’t selecting the candidate alone.  Both times they were making their choice with the help of a popular talk show host.  But that’s about where the similarities end.

In “Sideshow Bob Roberts”, those men (and their vampire friend) are exactly the kind of people you’d expect to see plotting strategy in the highest tower of a scary ass castle.  They begin their meeting with a ritualized and evil sounding greeting, and they’re there for the explicit purpose of placing one of their unquestioning henchman in the mayor’s office.  Even better, they’re so contemptuous of democracy and apathetic toward anything but their own interests that at first they actually think that the water cooler in the hallway is the candidate.  These guys are mean and powerful, but also kinda clueless.  In other words, they’re Republicans.

Sideshow Bob Roberts6

Note that everyone but Barlow is clapping.

Now consider what happens at the exact same meeting, in the exact same place, in “Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson”.  It’s even mostly the same cast of characters, but none of them do anything except sit there in the background.  Burns is the only one who speaks, and all he does is ask Homer to pick from a set of actual candidates.  For starters, the Burns I know would never abdicate a decision to the likes of Homer.  More blatantly, these guys have become powerless feebs.  They’re supposed to be evil and just short of all powerful, and yet they sit silently while Homer picks their presidential candidate.  How the hell did these guys ever earn their way to the top of that castle?

Compounding what a bunch of slack jawed wimps they are, Ted Nugent strolls out of the darkness firing his little bow to the surprise of everyone:

Surprise Visitor

You’d think a castle like that would have better security.

Zombie Simpsons isn’t making any kind of political point here, they aren’t mocking the Republican Party or any part of our goofy, convoluted electoral process.  They’re thoughtlessly using the same party headquarters they’ve always used before getting to what they know best: getting everyone else out of the way so that Homer and Ted can act like crazy people.

The problem is that this situation isn’t funny and doesn’t work unless those guys at the table are at least a little frightening and/or competent.  The castle, the maps on the walls, the overall Bond villain motif, none of that matters if the supposedly boss Republicans are a bunch of silent, slack jawed nobodies who give power to Homer, don’t know that Ted Nugent is in the room, and act intimidated and scared instead of contemptuous and powerful.

It goes almost without saying that once things leave this room they continue on their wildly different paths.  When Sideshow Bob ran for mayor, he ran for mayor.  He stacked the debate in his favor, broadcast dishonest commercials, rigged the election, and immediately began an autocratic rule, convinced that he was above the law.  Nugent gutted an elk and then went away.

Like the castle meeting itself, Nugent’s non-candidacy was another woefully blown comedy idea.  Actually making Ted Nugent the Republican nominee isn’t a terrible concept.  It’s not exactly an act of insightful genius, but it’s not a complete dry hole either.  Zombie Simpsons doesn’t try that at all.  Once Nugent meets Homer, he just sort of hangs out at the Simpsons house until the end of the episode.  Nobody runs for anything, nor is there any satire, of Nugent or anything else.  Nugent and Homer just do some goofy stuff and then it ends.

Watching Zombie Simpsons do things like go to Republican Party Headquarters is like watching a couple of kids sit in their parents car and pretend to go for a ride.  They can superficially mimic the scenes and actions, but they aren’t leaving the driveway.  There’s no substance, no movement, no thought or action.  And if you’re looking for something that’s funny, subversive or even just memorable, you’re completely out of luck, because that’s not what they do.


Quote of the Day

Sideshow Bob Roberts5

“You see, Birch, I’m presently incarcerated.  Convicted of a crime I didn’t even commit!  Attempted murder, now honestly, what is that?  Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?  Do they?” – Sideshow Bob


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