“April Fo-” – Bart Simpson
Posts Tagged ‘So It’s Come to This
01
Apr
19
Quote of the Day
01
Apr
18
Quote of the Day
“Thanks for coming to visit me, Moe.” – Homer Simpson
“I brought you a little present.” – Moe
“No! No! Beer bring pain!” – Homer Simpson
“I can’t stand to see him like this.” – Barney Gumble
“He really needs a girlfriend.” – Moe
01
Apr
17
Quote of the Day
“Hey, kid, that’s for customers only!” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
“Did you know there’s a guy outside handing out free stridex pads?” – Bart Simpson
“Wow, I’m in pizzaface paradise!” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
“Moron.” – Bart Simpson
01
Apr
16
Quote of the Day
“You’re going down, Homer! I’m gonna fool you!” – Bart Simpson
“You talk better than you fool.” – Homer Simpson
21
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Can’t breathe . . . Sweet chocolate . . . cutting off air . . . nuts.” – Homer Simpson
01
Apr
15
Quote of the Day
“Mrs. Simpson, I’m afraid your husband is dead.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Oh!” – Marge Simpson
“April fool’s! He’s very much alive. Although I’m afraid he may never walk again.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Gotcha! It’s April Fool’s for two more minutes.” – Homer Simpson
“Dad, it’s May 16th.” – Bart Simpson
“You were in that coma for seven weeks.” – Lisa Simpson
This week’s pile of horseshit starts with Bart’s chalkboard saying “You Can’t Play April Fool’s Jokes on April 27th”, which is their way of telling the audience that even they recognized this one as a wretched and unwatchable entry. Homer and Bart serenade a horse in a cheap, wannabe Les Miserables parody, but that’s after Bart gets a bunch of people pregnant with voodoo, which was itself after they fell back on referencing as many comic geek franchises as they could (again). The thing was such a mess that they had to tack on a fake beer commercial sketch at the end that had nothing to do with the rest of the episode. Also, in this April Fool’s reality, horses can operate stereos. Comedy genius, that.
– Great couch gag, and not only because it was a full minute long, shaving many precious seconds of stupidity off the rest of the episode. Can they farm these out every week? It’s really the only good part of the show.
– At least the bartender meeting didn’t take long. We had to get right to the naked begging for geek approval of putting the characters in superhero costumes.
– Funding from Canal+ was a nice quick sign gag.
– Kirk getting sucked into a vacuum hose was pretty pointless.
– So, Willy’s naked in front of ten-year-olds? They are asking us to just roll with a lot of shit this week.
– Oh, look, one of Bart’s many ex-girlfriends, and who is also apparently Chamlers’ daughter.
– And more creepy kissing. I was really hoping that was behind us.
– So, are we gonna come back to the missing ingredient in the voodoo curse? I have doubts.
– “So, your boy’s got magic knock-up powers, huh?” – Glad we cleared that up.
– Nice of Lenny to explain the joke before he complimented Homer on his virility. Jokes that need to be explained first to work always land.
– You can tell how slapdash these stories are from the little things: That couple driving onto a baseball diamond for no reason, Homer just happening to walk past Bart’s voodoo show, Homer choking Bart in front of a two strangers who just sit there, the complete absence of Lisa, etcetera.
– Bart is now sitting at Moe’s with Homer.
– Homer’s lack of wallet thing was pure filler.
– Remember when Fat Tony had good lines instead of crap like “How would you like a cast over your face?”.
– “How is this my fault?” “I wouldn’t be here if you were more of a role model.” – Aww, they’re trying to make this about Homer and Bart’s relationship. It’s like George Meyer left “how to write Simpsons episodes” instructions before he gave up on them and subpoint 2-3.b is “have an emotional connection between family members”.
– A horse just turned on a boombox to play “It’s Raining Men” so it could dance around for ten seconds. I’d say the show has reached a new low, but we all know that isn’t true.
– And, after following a horse that casually walked out of its stall, we’re in a flashback montage.
– Homer is singing to horses to get them to fuck. This is really bad, even by their standards.
– And then Homer gets kicked by a horse at the end. How else could you wrap up that masterpiece?
– Hey, look, they’re aping the opening of Modern Family, a show that’s much better than this one.
– And we’re ending with a horse testifying at a trial in a random, SNL-at-its-worst comedy sketch. Seems appropriate.
Woof, what a mess of an episode (and yet another total waste of Fat Tony). That song was just brutal, and what the hell did any of that have to do with Les Miserables? They long ago lost the ability to tell a story, but when they don’t have a b-plot and everything has to ride on one story it’s usually a bigger trainwreck, and this week was no exception. I knew we were in trouble when Fat Tony kidnapped them with 8 minutes to go, but I didn’t expect things to get that desperate. Yeesh.
Anyway, the ratings are in and they are worthy of that hacktacular crapterpiece. Last night just 3.38 million people wondered whether or not that really was an ill timed April Fool’s joke. That’s good for second place on the all time least watched list, replacing “Days of Future Future” which held the spot for only two weeks (and no other new episodes). Eight of the ten least watched episodes of all time, including spots 1-7, are from Season 25. Presumably the Lego episode next week won’t bomb quite this bad, but Season 25 is already locked into being the least watched season ever.
01
Apr
14
Quote of the Day
“Ah, blah!” – Bart Simpson
“Ah-ha! April fools! I’ve been keeping that carton of milk next to the furnace for six weeks! Sucker.” – Homer Simpson
01
Apr
13
Quote of the Day
“I have an unorthodox solution: a fantastic voyage, if you will. Three scientists, one a beautiful woman, will be shrunk to microscopic size. They will then rendezvous in Mr. Simpson’s lower colon.” – Professor Frink
“Eww.” – Marge, Bart & Lisa Simpson
“Well, we have had a little trouble finding volunteers.” – Professor Frink
Happy 20th Anniversary to “So It’s Come to This”! Original airdate 1 April 1993.
01
Apr
12
Quote of the Day
“You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.” – Homer Simpson
05
Jun
11
Quote of the Day
“Oh Marge, what if I wind up as some vegetable, watching TV on the couch. My important work will never be completed.” – Homer Simpson
“Society’s loss, I suppose.” – Marge Simpson
01
Apr
11
Quote of the Day
01
Apr
10
Quote of the Day
“That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place!” – Lou
“Forget it, that’s two blocks away.” – Chief Wiggum
“Looks like there’s beer coming out of the chimney.” – Lou
“I am proceeding on foot, call in a Code 8.” – Chief Wiggum
“We need pretzels, repeat, pretzels.” – Lou
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user fo.ol.
“Is a coma painful?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh heck no, you relive long lost summers, kiss girls from high school, it’s like one of those teevee shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson
The stuffing of my inbox with “Marge in Playboy” crap continued apace this week. Hopefully it’ll die down soon. In the meantime the Ortved publicity machine continues to roll, there’s a recipe for squishies, one piece of absolutely excellent usage and a ton of links with time wasting video clips.
Enjoy.
How to make a super squishy…. – A recipe for a Super Squishy with unrelated YouTube! Also there’s this:
I had one of these during the BIG SIMPSON MOVIE (frankly that movie was overrated) They have been on air for 20+ years, the movie should of been made in their first or second season!
Indeed. (via Twitter)
Week 23: Pageant of the Transmundane – Click here for a picture of a wonderfully gory tattoo of Zombie Homer on someone’s foot. Seriously, click.
Simpsons Chilled Water Dispenser – Careful, that water gets incredibly hot if you leave it plugged in. (via Twitter)
Lisa Simpson Or Apu-Who Would You Rather – This is an internet poll for vegetarians as in, “Who would you rather have vegetable lunch with?” We posted this on Twitter but I thought it deserved a second look. Lisa is killing Apu right now, which I don’t get. A worldly guy like Apu seems like he’d be better conversation than a know it all eight year old, but that’s just me.
Stefan Bucher’s Daily Monster #76 – This is a rather fascinating video of a guy drawing a monster. Why should you care? Well, you shouldn’t, except that it’s a hover monster and he describes it thusly:
To paraphrase Homer Simpson, "Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Airplane, which cleared the way for Jefferson Starship. The stage was now set for Monster 76, which I believe was some sort of hovercraft."
Excellent, excellent usage.
Eddie Van Halen Totally Looks Like Crazy Cat Lady – You know what, he does kinda look like the cat lady, though I’m guessing she’s done less cocaine than him.
Video: “An Amendment to Be” makes learning fun – Pretty much exactly what it says, be careful though, the video plays as soon as you open the page. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do with the next 90 seconds of your life.
Readers’ Favorite ‘Simpsons’ Lines: ‘You Don’t Win Friends With Salad’ – That New York Times Arts Beat blog just can’t get enough, can it? Most of the quotes are pretty accurate, though this is terrible:
Homer toasting: “Alcohol, the answer to, and cause of, most of life’s problems.”
— Tom
His heart’s in the right place but, wow, that isn’t even close. Anyway, I’m just linking it today to point out, once again, that the overwhelming majority of the quotes, in the post and in the comments, pre-date Zombie Simpsons.
The Story Behind The Simpsons – Total Film has this little history of the Simpsons piece up. It’s nothing you don’t know or haven’t seen, but there are clips and they’re nice enough to acknowledge that it sucks now.
The six best ‘Treehouse of Horror’ segments from ‘The Simpsons’ – This is most assuredly not the six best. #6 is the dolphin segment from Season 12 and #5 is the Xena segment from Season 11. While I’d agree that those two are amongst the cream of the later seasons (the dolphin thing, while lousy overall, is better than pretty much everything else in Season 12) they just aren’t up to par. On this list they look like tokens, sops to get something from the double digit seasons included. Happily #s 1-4 are much better, and they have clips!
Ottawa International Animation Festival (Part 3) – David Silverman, who directed many episodes in the before time, in the long long ago, gave a talk at this animation festival. Here’s a recap.
The Awl Bookmobile: John Ortved’s "The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History" – It’s another excerpt from Ortved’s book, this one’s about acrimony over the division of the lucre.
An insider’s look at The Simpsons – Yet another write up the book. I will read and link to 10,000 of these before I click on one more fucking thing about Marge being in Playboy. The book is about The Simpsons, Marge being in Playboy is a desperate publicity stunt for two franchises that are long past their primes.
Kid Robot X The Simpsons (Ralph Wiggum) – Krusty Brand Seal of Approval on this little Ralph Wiggum doll.
Pic of the Day: Blinky the Radioactive Fish – I don’t think this needs any explanation from me. The tear is a nice touch.
TOP 5: Americana. – A cool sidewalk chalk drawing of Homer eating hot dogs/sausage links is #3.
11 Ingenious Signs On The Simpsons – Finally is this extremely solid list of background signs from the show. And yes, there isn’t a single one from after Season 11. (via)
01
Apr
09
Quote of the Day
“Now who’s laughing? Now who’s laughing?” – The Simpsons
18
Feb
09
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken