Posts Tagged ‘The Cartridge Family


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Hey, we got a pool!” – Bart Simpson
“Can we go swimming, Mom?” – Lisa Simpson
“Not right now.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

“But if you really want to sleep easy at night, I recommend sealing off every door and window with bulletproof lucite.” – Ex-Con Home Security Guy
“Wouldn’t we all suffocate?” – Marge Simpson
“Well, I should hope not.” – Ex-Con Home Security Guy
“Let’s get that, the suffocation thing.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Looking for a good time, sailor?” – Allied Tradesperson
“I certainly am.” – Bart Simpson
“No, you’re not! . . . He’s really not.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Of all the terrible things you’ve ever done in your life, this is the worst, the most despicable.” – Marge Simpson
“But, Marge, I swear to you: I never thought you’d find out!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Assault weapons have gotten a lot of bad press lately, but they’re manufactured for a reason: to take out today’s modern super animals, such as the flying squirrel and the electric eel.” – Lenny

Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Cartridge Family”! Original airdate 2 November 1997.


Quote of the Day


“Wow, the TV’s coin operated!” – Bart Simpson
“And so is the Bible.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family11

“Just gimme my gun!” – Homer Simpson
“Sorry, the law requires a five day waiting period.  We’ve got to run a background check.” – Blood Bath & Beyond Guy
“Five days?  But I’m mad now.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Hiya, Homer, I brung you a big bag of irregular Oreos.  I don’t see what’s wrong with this one . . . oh.” – Moe


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family10

“I’d like to buy your deadliest gun, please.” – Homer Simpson
“Aisle 6, next to the sympathy cards.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Clerk


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family9

“Oh, I’ll kill myself if Portugal doesn’t win.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family8

“It’s hard to believe this used to be an internment camp.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family7

“I’m sorry, Homer, no weapons.” – Marge Simpson
“A gun is not a weapon, Marge.  It’s a tool, like a butcher knife or a harpoon or an alligator.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family6

“What began as a traditional soccer riot has escalated into a city wide orgy of destruction.  Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby has declared mob rule.  So, for the next several years, it’s every family for itself.” – Kent Brockman
“Excuse me, sir, I think you’ve got my TV.  Sir?” – Ned Flanders


Reading Digest: New Stuff on the Road Edition

The Cartridge Family5

“I’d like to order a wake up call, please . . . three am . . . uh, for every room except this one . . . that’s right.  Good night.  Always love trying out new material on the road.” – Bart Simpson

This week we’ve got three links to brand new Simpsons graffiti in foreign countries (and only one of them is Canadian).  There’s also a British newspaper that agrees with us, two kickass YouTube videos of Simpsons music, the rarely seen poor usage, and a never before published Bill Oakley interview from England, which you should probably read instead of the rest of this.


Intermission of long-outdated content: An interview with Bill Oakley – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this long, detailed and awesome interview with Bill Oakley conducted by none other than our old friend Gran2 (who somehow becomes Troy McClure for periods late in the interview).  Don’t finish reading this post (well, maybe watch the YouTube video right below this), just click the link and start reading.

Watch Megan Washington Mashup Beck & The Simpsons – Seriously, watch it:

Excellent (especially that little Kwik-E-Mart line at the end).

Artistic Spotlight : Alfred Steiner – Absolutely stunning, if somewhat disturbing, fan made paintings of Spongebob, Burns, Maggie, and, oddly enough, Terry Schiavo.

Joey Joe Joe! Our top 10 favourite obscure Simpsons characters – Hot on the heels of last week’s Zombie Simpsons infested list from unnamed Simpsons writers, the Herald Sun (which is Australian) has their own list, and it is much better.  There’s no Zombie Simpsons at all, which is more than enough to make up for calling Shelbyville Manhattan “Manhattan Shelbyville”.  Well done, Herald Sun.  (via @dailysimpsons)

Colombians fight to keep Simpsons beer – As usual, FOX hates fun, but this is amusing:

The company has since been forced to change its name to DuH Beer, as the pair of stylised “f”s on the bottle label could also be interpreted as a capital “h”.

I also didn’t know just how many different countries had tried this:

Sales of the beer in Argentina, Australia, Mexico, Chile, Brazil and New Zealand have also been halted, though Duff Sudamerica attorney Santiago Mora will appeal the decision.

“We’re not going to let ourselves be frightened by a multinational. We’re going to fight a battle that is just starting. We will defend our rights,” said Mora.

Alvaro Ballesteros insists they are not copying 20th Century Fox’s brand.

“It appears only in cartoons, in a fictional world. Here in Colombia we trademarked it and produced it first,” he said.

In 2007 the brothers founded Duff Sudamerica in Bogota, registering the trademark in 2008.

Good luck, fellas.

Why Moe, WHY – Fantastic mural of Homer wailing at the sight of a closed Moe’s in what the caption says is Spain.

Postal Service Stuck With Glut of ‘Simpsons’ Stamps – They overprinted $1.2 million worth of stamps.  Meh.

TV GIFs Of The Week (And The Best Of Sideshow Bob) – There are an impressive amount of Sideshow Bob .gifs here.  They start at #17 on the slideshow.

Page 2: Alien, Pixar, Terminator, Fight Club, Akira, The Simpsons, West Wing, Sharktopus, Michael Dorn, The Royal Tenenbaums, Ryan Gosling, Breaking Bad, Lawless – There’s a great looking monorail t-shirt here.  Sadly, I couldn’t find it on the site that actually sells the shirt.

25 Best Supporting Characters From The Simpsons – This is  gargantuan pageview whoring (some of the pages only have one(!) character on them) for a pretty unremarkable list, but there isn’t a trace of Zombie Simpsons.  That may just be because Zombie Simpsons hasn’t created a character in pretty much ever, but it’s still a good list. 

August 18, 2012: Peru 21 – Apparently:

The Simpsons are apparently so well-known that an editorial cartoonist in El Otorongo, Peru 21′s Friday humor pull-out section, can use one of Groening’s characters and make the assumption that the audience will catch the reference.

There’s even an example with Otto.

MLB: Describing Each 2012 Team with 90’s Songs – Excellent usage:

"Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It’s a scientific fact."

Ned Flanders by *OliviaWhyteART on deviantART – All color marker drawing of Flanders.

5 "Unfilmable" Novels That Became Movies & 5 More That Are On The Way – Excellent usage:

Like a red rag to a bull, the term "unfilmable novel" elicits about the same reaction for filmmakers as it does for Chief Wiggum in "The Simpsons" when he tells Ralph not to go into "the forbidden closet of mystery."

Wiggum actually calls it “my forbidden closet of mystery”, but that’s close enough for excellent usage.

Bart Simpson: Favorite of Rome’s Graffiti Writers – Picture of a large, happy looking Bart with spray paint in hand in Rome.

Meandering In Lotus Land: Sideshow Bob – Speaking of foreign graffiti, here’s Sideshow Bob on the side of a dumpster in Vancouver.

Op-Ed: NRO wants Romney to flaunt his wealth, because we love rich folks – Poor usage:

We’re reminded of Homer Simpson sitting in the audience at a Krusty the Klown comeback, staring blankly as the rest of the audience laughs and applauds. "I don’t get it," Homer says. the kids try to explain it to him.
Finally, Lisa tells Homer, "It’s a joke, Dad!"
"Oh! A JOKE! I get JOKES! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

The quote actually goes:

Homer: I don’t get it.
Lisa: Dad, the zebra didn’t do it.  It’s just a word at the end of the dictionary.
Homer: I still don’t get it.
Lisa: It’s just a joke.
Homer: Oh, I get it!  I get jokes.

And not only is the quote badly mangled, but it’s actually from Season 9 not Season 4.  I rarely award poor usage, but there’s no way around this one.

Lucifur Loves Marge Simpson by *Alvyna on deviantART – Cat lounges ominously over a fan made Marge Simpson drawing.

Stark raving dad – I’m pretty sure I’ve posted this before, but it’s too cool not to post again:

Welcome Back, Kotter…In 10 Words – That Travolta joke is getting funny again.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo…In 10 Words – Remember last week when I said these posts sometimes inform me about things I’d rather not know about?

D’Oh! I Forgot My Lunch! – Cool looking Homer food.  Unfortunately, the Japanese term for these kinds of things escapes me at the moment.

Word of the Week – I learned something today:

Anencephalous – Absence of a brain

There’s a picture of Homer and Bart from “Deep Space Homer” to illustrate.

D’oh! Dissident Xstrata shareholders resist Glasenberg’s reverse psychology – Excellent usage:

"Don’t you get it? You’ve gotta use reverse psychology," Homer Simpson’s brain says to its owner during one episode of The Simpsons. Homer resists his inner voice’s argument, causing it to retort: "OK, don’t use reverse psychology". "All right," Homer fires back, "I will."

Anatomy Of A Playboy Cover – Well, for whatever it was worth, the Playboy cover gimmick worked (at least relative to the time):

SB: What’s the best-selling issue? I’m guessing it’s not Marge Simpson, November 2009.

DB: Actually, the Marge Simpson issue was a best-seller! When doing the book I consciously didn’t make it a numbers game, though, because a best-seller is relative to how Playboy was selling overall. For example, Playboy was selling more than seven million copies monthly in the ’70s, but doing only a few million today, so it wouldn’t be possible for a Playboy issue today to sell more than an issue in the ’70s because there literally wouldn’t be enough copies printed to do so.

How Electronic Arts resurrected its DOA Simpsons game – The Simpsons city building game is now live again after having been taken down months ago.  The subtext of all this is that EA sucks and rushed it out the door to try and coincide with the 500th episode crap.

08/19/2012 Sunday Search Terms and Project 365 – Random Facts: 226 – 232 – Well done:

Random Fact #229 – I collect seasons of The Simpsons on DVD.

I’ve been collecting The Simpsons for about 1o years and have seasons 1-9 (I think).  I break them out and do marathons once in a while.

You have just the right seasons.

John Waters on The Simpsons – A moustache salute to not only real John Waters, but Simpsons John Waters.

Coolest Marge Simpson Costume – The hair is always the tricky part:

I took a knee high pair of pantyhose, with the sticky part that is supposed to attach to leg, and shoved as much cotton as I could fit into one of the legs. Then I ran a wire through it for support. I also added an elastic circle to the wire when I realized that the sticky stuff was not enough to keep the wig on my head. Finally, I spray painted my creation blue.


my brain’s all broken but I’m feelin’ alright….. – Animated .gif of Lisa dancing from “Flaming Moe’s”.

Ukraine wants to ban cartoon Spongebob Squarepants… as it ‘promotes homosexuality’ – And finally, Britain’s Daily Mail tacitly agrees with us.  In a story about the Ukraine’s “National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality” (whatever the hell that is), they put up a screen grab from Zombie Simpsons with this caption:

The Simpsons: Despite more than a decade of relatively trouble-free episodes, popular Fox TV show has also come under Ukrainian criticism

Zombie Simpsons has indeed been toothless and trouble-free for a decade now.  (via)


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family4

“Now, I believe you have some sort of firearm for me.” – Homer Simpson
“Well, let’s see here.  According to your background check you’ve been in a mental institution.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Yeah.” – Homer Simpson
“Frequent problems with alcohol.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Oh yeah.” – Homer Simpson
“You beat up President Bush.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Former President. . . . ‘Potentially Dangerous’?” – Homer Simpson
“Relax, that just limits you to three hand guns or less.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson


Australian Simpsons Art Exhibition

moe by foxall

Image by Mike Foxall, taken from here.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned in Reading Digest that there was a show of Simpsons related artwork in Newcastle, Australia running through October 22nd.  Reader Adam (many thanks!) was nice enough to send in not only a link to their page, but also to a gallery of photographs from the opening night.  The pictures aren’t all high resolution, but there is more than enough to give you a good sense of what’s there.  I was particularly taken by the Monty Burns Dress Up item:

Burns Outfit Art

See my vest! 

Unfortunately, I can’t make out the name in the lower right there, but it’s #25 is the gallery here.  (Facebook will pester you to log in, but you don’t need to.)  In some of the other photos you can see people putting the different outfits on him.  The best part is that everything is there: the grizzly bear underwear, the hat that twas his cat, and the red robin suits that come one breast or two.  It even has tiny genitalia! 

Other highlights include the Scarface poster with Fat Tony (#16), the highly stylized shooting of Mr. Burns (#35), and The Neon Claws of Gamblore (#46).  There’s a list of contributing artists here, but I didn’t see anything that put names to works.  If anyone has better attribution for any of these I’ll gladly put it up along with links.  Thanks to Adam for the tip, and a bravo to all you Australian artists out there. 


Quote of the Day

Charlton Heston NRA

Image yoinked from here.

“Tell you what, you come with me to an N.R.A. meeting, and if you still don’t think guns are great, we’ll argue some more.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family3

“But surely you can’t put a price on your family’s lives!” – Ex-Con Home Security Guy
“I wouldn’t have thought so either, but, here we are.” – Homer Simpson


Crazy Noises: The Cartridge Family

The Cartridge Family2

“Try the Sleep-Eazy Motel, I woke up there once, seemed nice.” – Selma Bouvier
“Why can’t we stay here?” – Marge Simpson
“Uh, we have a gentleman caller.” – Selma Bouvier
“Hey, this TV’s not broken, it’s just unplugged.” – Unsuspecting Gentleman Caller

There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September at the earliest (October? fingers crossed!), so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9.  Why Season 9?  Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons.  Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders).  So log on to your dial-up AOL and join us.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “euthanasia”).

Mad Jon: Shall we begin?

Charlie Sweatpants: Sure, football or handguns? (America, Fuck Yeah!)

Mad Jon: Handguns

Dave: Let’s do it.

Charlie Sweatpants: Sounds good, I like this episode, it’s easily middle of the road for nine in that there’s a lot of funny stuff, and the only real problem is Homer’s behavior.

Mad Jon: I feel like this episode started well, but the middle sucked, minus a few funny lines, and the ending was mediocre.

And Homer’s Behavior was definitely the catalyst

Dave: I’m with Jon.

Charlie Sweatpants: Can’t complain too much about the end, the Sl-e—azy Motel was great.

The problem with this episode is excessive Jerkass Homer. Pretty much everything else is good.

Mad Jon: The Motel was good, but the multiple homer lying things kind of killed the deal.

Dave: The continental breakfast was genius. I intend to do that to someone I hate one of these days.

Mad Jon: I liked Quimby’s scene as well.

  And the coin operated bible.

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s exactly what I’m talking about, everything but Homer works in this episode. Which is a good indicator of how topsy-turvy things are.

They’ve got a lot of good ideas, but Homer’s stupidity and jackassery are just too out of control.

Mad Jon: The NRA meetings were vey funny.

Especially Moe’s deal with the spine shooting and turning 1 gun into 5 gun.

Dave: To my point last week though, despite the funny stuff, it’s not in my regular rotation because Homer is insufferable.

Mad Jon: The waiting period montage and the related Homer angry rant is probably my least favorite part.

Charlie Sweatpants: I kinda like the waiting period.

Dave: I kinda like it too. Just kinda.

Mad Jon: Meh

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s definitely a little slow, but it isn’t half bad.

Mad Jon: It is a precursor to Homer montage scenes.

  It’s like the sniffles that precede pandemic flu.

  You can’t coddle things like this.

Dave: Well put.

Charlie Sweatpants: Fair enough. However, if the show had ended a year or two after this, like it should have, you’d hate it a lot less.

Mad Jon: Fair enough. Call me jaded, even jaded enough to devote a small amount of my time to a blog dedicated to the end of Zombie Simpsons.

Charlie Sweatpants: Boo-hoo.

Mad Jon: However, my point is valid. Homer’s montages get worse each time, and the rants go on like this for minutes sometimes.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m not disagreeing with that part, only that it’s a little unfair to hold those against this.

Mad Jon: I will say I do like the Homer daydream sequence after he thinks about robbing the Kwik-E-Mart.

Charlie Sweatpants: You gotta to lose yourself in the moment, man.

Mad Jon: Fine.

Charlie Sweatpants: The other nice thing about this episode, and it’s true of a lot of 9, is that there are quite a few good, usable quotes.

Mad Jon: That is very true.

Dave: Can’t argue with that.

Charlie Sweatpants: The part about putting a price on your family’s lives, the “TV said that?” disbelief in Homer’s voice, Patti and Selma’s “gentlemen caller” thing, and, of course, all the soccer stuff.

  That earns this episode a lot of leeway in my mind.

Mad Jon: Oh jeez, the price on the family’s lives quote is gold.

Soccer stuff too.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m also fond of Homer’s “we’ll argue some more” line about if Marge doesn’t believe him.

Mad Jon: I also like the multiple King of England references.

  Dangerous or delicious animals…

Charlie Sweatpants: Especially how Homer browbeats Lisa into agreeing with him.

That’s one of those great reverse-liberal jokes they do, where they implicitly agree with Lisa, but then crack on it by making fun of how impossible her ideals are.

Mad Jon: Yep, I just laughed about that.

Plenty of good material, definitely a middle of the road season 9 episode. There were a lot of parts that would be much worse if this was made a few seasons later.

Charlie Sweatpants: Agreed.

Mad Jon: And I agree with your last statement. Aren’t we a bunch of drunk agree-monkeys.

Dave: We’re precious.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, Dave seemed to be bitching earlier. But I stand by my statement, the non-Homer stuff of this episode is great, the Homer stuff of this episode mostly sucks.

  (And that’s because it’s basically Jerkass Homer.)

His whole, “doing household tasks with the gun” thing springs to mind.

Dave: I was half bitching.

  I think you’re both more forgiving about 9’s flaws, that’s all.

  You’re willing to look past them, I tend not to.

Charlie Sweatpants: But even that’s mitigated by things like his willingness to argue with Marge only to be stopped when he looks to Bart and Lisa and they both shake their heads.

  Shit like that is funny, there just isn’t enough of it.

Mad Jon: I am willing to look past many things, but I renew my enthusiasm for hating on pre-cancerous symptoms that evolved into what we have in the latest seasons.

Charlie Sweatpants: This is why I’m in favor of euthanasia.

  If you check out when the checking out is good, then no hard feelings.

Mad Jon: Also you won’t have to have other people wipe your ass.

Charlie Sweatpants: If the show had ended a season or two after this, I’d still watch this one about the same amount (way less than the best, but I don’t wince when I put it on).

Mad Jon: Fair enough, but I probably haven’t seen this episode in years before this chat came up.

Charlie Sweatpants: For about the fourth time: fair enough. Anything else here, or should we move on?

Mad Jon: Let’s go.


Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family1

“Halfback passes to the center, back to the wing, back to the center.  Center holds it . . . holds it . . . holds it.” – Kent Brockman

Good luck to everyone but fuckin’ England.  (Love you in general, but not tomorrow.) 


deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Fuck the duck until… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Big John's Breakfast… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Relatives Dude on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Mr Incognito on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Zombie Sweatpants on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Bleeding Unprofitabl… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Red sus on Quote of the Day
Rick on Quote of the Day
cm5675 on Quote of the Day
Bleeding Gums Murphy on Quote of the Day

Subscribe to Our Newsletter


Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.

%d bloggers like this: