That is how you end an episode between Bart and Milhouse. Or, if you need them to reconcile, you can have Bart smash open a Magic 8 Ball on Milhouse’s skull, but it’s a sweet moment because he didn’t use the brick, broken bottle or pair of scissors.
Flowers and apologies? Fuck off, Zombie Simpsons.
I still haven’t watched last Sunday’s Zombie Simpson offering, but according to Charlie Sweatpants I didn’t miss much. And that guy is a straight shooter. Unless theres profit to be had… but since he is a blogger I don’t have to worry about that.
Anyway I thought I would peruse the usual fansites to see what the Zombie Legion had to say about it before I sat down for my weekly lobotomy:
“I need to see this episode again if I want to give a more in-depth review, but for now, I’ll be generous and give it a 4/5.” – linonelhutz123 (nohomers.net)
With any luck you’ll be the judge at my next DUI trial.
“Springfield Elementary has only 2 N’s and no Z so there is no way the could have 3 z’s next to willy’s head” -Ben S. (hulu.com)
At least someone had the nerve to point this out. (note: As I haven’t seen the episode, this comment almost made me vomit in terror.)
“This episode is worth your time for the laughs.” – meathead704 (tv.com)
Especially if you value your time like Zimbabwe values their currency.
“I had no real problems, though limited patience for Anne Hathaway.” – striz (nohomers.net)
If you are picking Zombie Simpsons over Anne Hathaway you do indeed have real problems.
“it made me laugh i dont know why nobody is wirting good reveiws” – Katie H. (hulu.com)
I bet you can’t figure out why your school bus was always so short either.
“I do like Nelson giving him advice from the bushes “Punch her! Punch her!”” – Limbonaut (televisionwithoutpity.com)
So Nelson was guest-voiced by Chris Brown this week?
“Particularly enjoyable is that the episode manages to contrive two equally engrossing plotlines that echo the previous episode’s sentimentalist approach.” – amazingwebhead (tv.com)
I can see how that would be enjoyable, but what did you think of this week’s Simpsons?
Despite the various warnings I have copied and pasted here, I’ll have to watch the episode tonight as my wife and I have a bet riding on it. Apparently there is a scene where Homer kills a fly at the dinner table: My wife bets the fly lands on Homer’s forehead and he stabs it with a knife while the camera pans back to a view of the house as Homer screams, I say the fly lands on his hand and he tries to stab it with a fork leading to an equally unfunny scream scene… Either way I guess we both lose.
When even your own corporate internet shill has to mention no fewer than five previous episodes in reviewing your latest installment, it might be time to re-evaluate things. And he went easy, I added a sixth amongst my usual corrections for accuracy and honesty.
Enjoy.
April 20, 2009 – A lot of the basic ideas found in “The Good, the Sad and the Drugly” have been mined before done better in previous episodes of The Simpsons. This can happen with a show that’s been on the air this long about twice as long as it should have been. Heck, it can happen to programs that have been on the air for half that time that’s about when it started repeating itself in the first place. And while we may have seen rifts develop between Bart and Milhouse before, and even seen one of the other Simpson kids on mind-altering drugs, “The Good, the Sad and the Drugly” didn’t recycle the same old jokes, so there were still some fresh laughs to be had which is too bad because that would have been an improvement.
The Bart/Milhouse storyline was plotted very well got bogged down as soon as Milhouse started showing up and saying creepy things over and over again. The pair pranked Springfield Elementary by unscrewing every screw, an idea whose physical impossibility serves only to highlight its lack of imagination. After Milhouse was caught, Principal Skinner, acting for some reason as though he has no idea that Milhouse is friends with Bart, threatened to suspend him if he didn’t give up the name of his accomplice. Ever the true friend In order to advance the plot, Milhouse took the fall and Bart promised to visit him at home every day. Of course, when Bart fell for fifth grade girl Jenny, in the fastest grade school courtship ever, Milhouse was forgotten.
We’ve seen the basics of this plot in episodes like “The Bart Wants What It Wants,” where both Bart and Milhouse dated Rainier Wolfcastle’s daughter Greta, too bad it stunk then and it stinks now. We’ve also seen things come between the pair other than people, like in “Three Men and a Comic Book” (comic book) and “Radioactive Man” (movie role), of course those comparisons are unfair because those stories made sense and were, you know, funny. This time, it is once again a woman… well, a girl., well really it was a women voicing a girl, but why split hairs? Do-gooder Jenny was voiced by Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married, Get Smart) and the actress did a fine job read her lines competently even though none of them required even a shred of acting, timing or delivery. There was nothing extreme remotely funny in the part that she was called upon to perform, so in essence Jenny could have been performed by anybody.
While Bart was wooing Jenny, he instantly became a kinder person freakishly romantically confident 10-year old. Again, tThis was similar but importantly different from something we’ve seen before in “Bart’s Girlfriend,” where he tried pretended to be a good person for Reverend Lovejoy’s daughter, only to drop the charade when he couldn’t take it any more and find found out she liked bad boys. In Sunday night’s episode, Bart went good and stayed good for Jenny, which makes less sense and is a hell of a lot less funny. Things only went south degenerated completely when Milhouse confronted Bart about breaking his promise to visit him every day. This led to Milhouse making every effort repeatedly threatening to show Jenny the real Bart Simpson, which took up a lot more screen time than having him only do it once would have.
Meanwhile, thrown into the midst of this episode, Lisa was again having a breakdown over her perceived vision of our devastating future. Her therapist called it “environment related despair” and prescribed her “Ignorital Repressitol.” This “B” story was a lot like Bart’s time on “Focusyn,” only in a smaller dosage without even its shreds of cleverness. But even with the familiarity, hHaving Lisa’s depressing images covered with smiley faces was quite entertaining, was almost amusing the first time and tedious and repetitive the other forty seven. One of the best moments least plausible came when Maggie wielded a fan in front of Lisa and then in front of a drugged out Santa’s Little Helper for some reason.
Such was the case with the rest of the episode. There was a lot that seemed (and was) familiar implausible and repetitive, but it didn’t take away from the fun in “The Good, the Sad and the Drugly.”, as there was none to begin with. Throughout the episode, there were some hilarious bits juxtaposing straining horribly to relate kid life with adult relationships. The best most out of character was when Nelson was giving Bart advice on flirting with Jenny, which included pulling sticks of gum from his wallet (to stick in her hair) as if they were condoms: “I always come prepared. Take two. You might get lucky.” Ralph‘s had a hilarious take on what Springfield would be like in 50 years: “The vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.” was maybe the only thing that merited a chuckle. And, really, Many times Milhouse gets got angry it’s funny, and no matter the cause situation it just seemed forced. This episode will never be considered a classic watchable by anyone, but it was still a fun half hour. To me, it felt like “The Good, the Sad and the Drugly” was using the classic episodes as an inspiration, when and not simply ripping them off would have been better.
“I hate the sea, and everything in it.” – Captain McAllister
Two weeks after Moe acted way out of character to land a woman, we get the same thing from Bart. He displayed an hitherto unknown amount of confidence and skill at flirting with a girl who, despite the fact that she also attends Springfield Elementary, he has never seen before. The obvious comparison here is “Bart’s Girlfriend” from Season 6 and there is a specific aspect I’d like to point out.
Twice last night, Bart looked at “Jenny” and saw her outlined in a halo of light complete with background music. This is a pretty standard TV trope for “instant love”. Last night they just played it straight: light + music = isn’t she perfect. Now, recall the beginning of “Bart’s Girlfriend”, when Jessica Lovejoy makes her entrance on the pulpit, she too is wreathed in light. Of course, we’re quickly shown the source of the light: Captain McAllister’s deliberately incompetent lighthouse policies.
The difference is that Simpsons mocks the cliche; Zombie Simpsons just straight ahead uses it – twice.
We’ll set the over/under on the ratings at 6.4 million viewers.
Update: The numbers are in and the over has it, ever so slightly, at 6.5 million viewers.
The lack of a new episode last week was such a tease. Unfortunately, there’s a new Zombie Simpsons on tonight, which guest stars Anne Hathaway as Bart’s object-of-desire Jenny. My memory’s slightly hazy – I tend to block out shit I hate – but this will be at least the fourth celebrity-voiced love interest Bart has had. This is, as Charlie opines, getting out of hand. Anyway, SNPP offers us this description:
Bart volunteers at the Springfield Retirement Castle in order to impress a girl, but this leaves Milhouse (who took the rap for a school prank he and Bart pulled) less than impressed; Lisa becomes depressed when she writes a report on what Springfield will be like 50 years from now.
Whoop dee doo. In case you’re chomping at the bit to watch this (sycophantic No Homers members, I’m looking in your general direction), here’s a clip or two to hold you over. Yeah, it’s going to be bad.
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
Dead Homer Society 
The Mob Has Spoken