Posts Tagged ‘The Springfield Connection


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law: dog, no leash; man, littering; horse not wearing diaper; car parked across three handicap spaces.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Careful, now, these are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle class types. So avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone.” – Homer Simpson
“Three card monte!” – Snake
“Woo-hoo! Easy money!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Alright, settle, people. People, settle. People! Wood and Van Zuyland, stake out Donut Land. When they fry up a fresh batch, call it in. Keneally and Earhart, back ’em up. Fitz and Garcia, it’s your turn to sleep in. And Simpson, seeing how this is your first day, you’re inexperienced and vulnerable, your beat is Junkieville and Bumtown.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

“Women always have trouble with the wall . . . can’t ever seem to find the door.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

“Homer, gimme my pepper spray!” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, Marge, one squirt and you’re south of the border! . . . Mmmm, incapacitating.” – Homer Simpson


Ad Hoc Beer Marathon

“Hey, Homer, you busy?” – Lenny
“Yes.” – Homer Simpson

I used to do these with more preparation, but it’s Saturday, I’m sick and tired of being responsible, and my fridge has a lot of beer in it. May the Lord bless and keep the VLC random play function…

The Last Temptation of Homer

– Bart’s parking line prank is one of his best. Especially since the punchline is the psychological frailty of the faculty.

– Look how bored Burns is when Charlie describes the fake emergency exit. He’s not even mad yet, and he’s always kinda mad.

– That plane crashed on his property!

– “Your appearance is comical to me.”

– “Hey, Joey Joe Joe!” Great throwaway joke.

– There’s such wonderful layers to Homer’s “Foul temptress! I’ll bet she thinks Ziggy’s gotten too preachy too!” It’s eleven words, moves the plot, and there’s like three jokes.

– God I miss Phil Hartman. He has one line in this whole episode, and it’s perfect.

– Fucking Season 5, I could write a whole post about almost every scene.

– Stewart callback!

– There’s no way to do the porter’s many sex sounds in text. You can’t even really quote it well. But it’s awesome.

– “Hey, kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes?”

– Simpsons Did It

– I love the immediate and unbridled hostility of the energy convention MC’s “No” when Homer asks if he can get out of dinner with Mindy.

– The ending of this episode is a great example of how the show handled real conflict and emotion with speed and humor. We get right up to Homer thinking he might cheat on Marge with Minday (who’s in the room), which cuts immediately to the reveal that it’s actually Marge in his room, which cuts immediately to her noticing that there’s a turkey behind the bed. On Zombie Simpsons that would take a minute and a half and Homer would explain how he’d been thinking about cheating on her.

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily

– Love the 1960s Batman sound when Marge wraps the sandwiches. #RIPAdamWest

– Count Homer’s test drive would be so much worse on Zombie Simpsons. They’d probably make it a montage instead of just using “gently massages your buttocks” as a punchline.

– “See you in hell, you wingless bloodsuckers!” (Also more great sound effects with the lice squeaking pathetically as they’re incinerated.)

– Stupid baby

– Now that’s a quick sign gag.

– The “turn tape over” gag is a piece of history now.

– “I don’t judge Homer and Marge. That’s for a vengeful God to do.” Maude Flanders was really an awful human being and it made her a great foil for Ned.

– This isn’t the goriest Itchy & Scratchy, but it is one of the most straight up horrifying. “Why? Why? My only son.”

– Homer in front of the judge is hilarious. He actually does love his kids, but way, way less than he’s annoyed by them. His unthinking default is that he doesn’t want to be around them.

– “I want wintergreen!”, “Unflavored for me.”. On a related topic, I’ve been watching “The Handmaid’s Tale” on Mrs. Mad Jon’s Hulu login.

– “Put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can’t stress that enough.”

– The scene where Bart and Lisa watch the Flandereses put Maggie to bed is another example of how ruthlessly efficient the storytelling used to be. It sets up Maggie as the one Simpson who might like it next door, has several jokes, and shows us how much Bart and Lisa both hate it there and miss home. It takes like ten seconds.

– The Vulgate of Saint Jerome! That’s The Simpsons, an obscure, fourth century bible translation as a punchline.

– “Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They’re all pretty much the same.”

– More great storytelling, the way Maggie instantly bails on the pond soaked Homer, Bart, and Lisa for the Flandereses, only turning aside when Marge shows up. It’s perfectly in character and fast.


In Marge We Trust

– Late 90s French nuclear weapons test were a gift from God to the Simpsons writers room

– “In that case, he should’ve made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.”

– As someone who spent far too many weekend hours in un-air conditioned churches, I really identify with Lovejoy’s constancy sermon.

– “No, no, I don’t feel like going to a trash pile today.”
“It’s your life.”

– Season 8 isn’t the first time we see A and B plots that are completely unrelated, but it does seem like where it becomes kinda standard.

– “Do you know thanks to you I’ve rediscovered a form of shame that’s gone unused for 700 years?”

– Lovejoy’s decades long irritation with Flanders is a pretty solid foundation for an episode. “I think I may be coveting my own wife.”

– “Hi, it’s me again. I got another problem. This one’s about my cat.”

– Great fourth wall joke with Marge insisting that nobody is watching them right now.

– Gotta love the librarian as Homer starts clearly dialing Japan.

– I don’t know if “You’re just lucky God isn’t here” is a George Meyer line, but it feels like one.


– “Awesome power”

– I love Season 8, but it has a bad tic of weird endings, the ape fight in this one definitely included. (See also: fan man, phony kidnapping, rocket house, The Eliminator…)

– “She taught me that there’s more to being a minister than not caring about people.”

– And then it ends on a much more entertaining, but completely a-religious sermon. It’s the little things that make this show so rewatchable. (Eat me, spellcheck, “rewatchable” is too a word.)


The Springfield Connection

– Upper lower middle class types. Heh.

– “You’re giving three card monty a bad name!”, mumbled punchlines are a great way to say something really stupid and make it even funnier than it otherwise would be. The finger thing means the taxes.

– Homer just assuming Marge is a hysterical woman saved by the police is typical of how the show made fun of sexism without getting preachy like Ziggy. At it’s most basic, sexism is stupid, and Homer is it’s perfect unthinking adherent. Look at her face here!

– Ditto the cops laughing when she says she wants to be a police officer.

– “Forget about the badge, when do we get the freakin’ guns?!”

– I think I mentioned this on the Season 6 beer marathon, but I’ve never been able to get those Magic Eye things to work.

– I watched Zootopia recently. Great movie co-directed by Simpsons alum Rich Moore. The police briefing scene there is a lot like the one here. I mean, police briefing scenes are pretty well trod ground (and this whole thing is a Hill Street Blues parody), but the way the jokes flow is very similar here.

– “This padding’s so easy on the knuckles, I could punch all day.”

– Homer and the police tape. It builds and builds and builds right up to Flanders nearly cracking as Homer wallows in his own crapulence.

– The extremely bleak politics of the show shines through when Lisa asks Marge about the police enforcing the status quo for the wealthy elite. That’s “woke”.

– Love the light flicker after Moleman gets executed.

– Poor Antoine Bugelboy

– Homer’s reflexive sexism pops up again when he tells Herman to “leave the girl out of this!”.

– The show even sneaks in a quick parody of the end of all those detective and mystery shows when Homer asks Marge how she figured it out.


Brush With Greatness

– Minor point, but Bart and Lisa holding hands about what a “great week” it’s been is pitch perfect in the way networks/channels try and get people to believe they were there for something.

– I wanna go to Mount Splashmore. Take me take me take me take me now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!

– Another wonderful Homer moment when his first reaction to Marge’s heartfelt tale of quitting painting and going to art class is, “Do I have to do anything?”.

– Only 35 calories . . .

– Jon Lovitz never had a Troy McClure or Lionel Hutz, but he was one of the greatest recurring guest stars. He nailed every voice.

– Case in point: “Marge, please, I don’t take praise very well!”

– “And as the wife of an employee she’ll be easily intimidated.”

– Carl with Lenny’s voice, ah, Season 2.

– Ringo on “Gear!”, remember when the show gave celebrities fun things to say?

– “Thank goodness. Another day in this suburban nightmare and I would’ve needed half a white Valium.”

– Marge’s brief painting montage is another little moment of character display. We see her painting, but we also see 1) the whole family watching, then 2) only Lisa and Maggie watching (and Lisa yawns), and finally 3) just Maggie there, asleep in the background.

– He’s no art critic, but he knows what he hates.


Quote of the Day


“Strange, regular ham doesn’t thrill me anymore. I’m crossing over to deviled ham!” – Marge Simpson

Happy Birthday Julie Kavner! 


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection15

“Tsk tsk tsk, you missed the baby, you missed the blind man . . .” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection14

“Wow, Mom, I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection13

“Whatever you do, Mom, we’ll be proud of you.” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, thank you, honey.” – Marge Simpson
“As long as it’s Constitutional.” – Lisa Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Springfield Connection”!  Original airdate: 7 May 1995.


Reading Digest: Live Concert Edition


“Devilishiously satirical!  I wonder if anyone else got that?” – Dr. Hibbert
“We’re out of here!” – Homer Simpson

That very cool Hollywood Bowl show is this weekend.  I won’t be able to attend, but if any of you fine Simpsons fans out there make the trip, please let us know.  (I’d be happy to post pictures, an account, what have you.)  In more provincial news, I saw my first Halloween display in a store this week, and I thought, “wow, that’s pretty early”, then when I was going through WordPress tags for this week’s post I came across tons of spam sites selling Homer costumes, Bart costumes, Radioactive Man costumes, Duffman/woman costumes, etc.  I guess it’s already that time of year.

In regular news, Simpsons stuff is getting back to normal, though we still have a couple of people writing and reminiscing about the marathon.  In addition to that, there’s new shoes, Duff Beer getting banned in Australia, the theme song covered by Ohio State’s marching band, and much more.


A Day In The Life Of Simpsons Quotes – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this day long diary of all the Simpsons quotes that go through someone’s head.  I think many of us can relate.  (Also, thanks for the nice mention.)

Fireworks Finale: The Simpsons Take the Bowl – Some PR agency sent me the little press kit for their series of concerts at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend.  That’s the ticket link, and it looks like a blast.  I’m particularly intrigued by this under the “Artists” section:

Kipp Lennon

Nancy Cartwright singing “Lisa It’s Your Birthday” with Lennon would be pretty fucking cool.  Come on, YouTube, don’t let me down!

‘The Simpsons’ Marathon Ratings Prove The Animated Series Is Here To Stay; EP Al Jean Comments On Massive Success For FXX – I still have no way to watch FXX, but these could be fun from time to time:

FXX, who according to Saftler is planning one day marathons in the future (including a Halloween marathon of every “Treehouse of Horror”), should be able to profit from “The Simpsons” for a long time.

The Halloween episodes are an obvious candidate, as are whole seasons, but if I were them I’d be thinking along the lines of all the flashback episodes, episodes with classic Itchy & Scratchy bits, episodes written by Jon Vitti or Jeff Martin, and things like that.  Also, too, this is yet another reminder that the business press is just as incurious and obsequious as the entertainment press; they cite the syndication deal as $750 million authoritatively, but their link just speculates about the number.  Just like with the voice actors’ salaries, repeating a number doesn’t make it true and the real one is a tightly held secret that nobody involved would ever want public.

‘The Simpons’ Marathon: FXX Sets 8-Episode, Music-Themed Marathon – Looks like they got started last night:

Just as America is recovering from FXX’s recent 12-day marathon of every episode of the “The Simpsons,” the cabler has set an eight-episode, music-themed marathon of the cartoon, beginning at 8 p.m. on Sept. 11.

Since this marathon is “songs created by the show”, there’s nothing after Season 8.

Australia Bans Sale of ‘The Simpsons’ Duff Beer – Oh, well:

However, the Alcohol Policy Coalition complained about the fictional beer to the Alcohol Beverages Advertising Code adjudication panel in June, claiming that Duff beer is very popular with children and adolescents, and therefore might draw their attention to it.
“The association of The Simpsons with the product name and packaging is so strongly entrenched in Australian popular culture that the name and packaging will draw the attention of under 18 year olds,” the panel wrote on its decision on Tuesday.

When Will ‘The Simpsons’ End? FXX Marathon Raises Series Finale Date Question – I don’t know when the show is going to end anymore than anyone else does, but people, professors of pop culture included, seem weirdly focused on numerology to me:

But Robert Thompson, a professor of pop culture at Syracuse University told IBTimes that the show will have to end sometime. “[The end of ‘The Simpsons’] is going to have to happen sooner rather than later,” predicts Thompson. “It’s not going to go another 26 seasons.” Thompson guesses the powers that be of “The Simpsons” may be trying to hit 30 seasons before they call it quits, saying “30 seems to be one of those numbers that has some magical tradition behind it,” but he says no one could fault the show at this point for ending at any time.

It was the same with the last renewal, when people were saying things like “25 seasons seems like a good number”.  As mentioned above, I do not know when the show will end, but the ruthless people in charge of that decision won’t be factoring “that’s a nice number” into their thinking.

Can a China Deal Breathe New Life into ‘The Simpsons?’ – There’s now a streaming deal for China.  I’m sure all the writers and staff will be properly compensated.

*The Simpsons Theme* – Ten favorite Simpsons quotes.  There’s some famous ones on there as well as some old fashioned silliness, “Bake him away, toys!”.  Heh.

Watch Ohio State’s Marching Band Cover ‘The Simpsons,’ ‘Game of Thrones’ Themes – The Simpsons theme starts at the 1:40 mark:

Converse x The Simpsons Pack – Fall/Winter 2014 – New Converse shoes appear to just be a regular thing now.  Shoe fiends, prepare to be separated from your money.

Automobiles Of The Future. – “Well, Jimmy, that’s a Homer, only the prototype was ever made.”

KSK Mock Draft: The Next NFL Commissioner – I’d vote for the Rod to replace the Rog.

The Patients NO Doctor Likes – Oof, this would be bad:

-The Abe Simpson- For those of you who are unversed in The Simpsons, grandfather Abe is a character who tells pointless stories, and these patients do the same thing. You will get sucked into a ten minute diatribe about something that you assume is relevant only to find out that they have lured you down a rabbit hole into a vortex of nothingness. THEY don’t even remember the point to their story. I once listened to a fifteen minute account of a women’s relationship with her Welsch Corgi. I incorrectly assumed this was going somewhere with her medical condition, maybe flea infestation, or worms or something, but NO, it went nowhere. Later I found out that the Corgi had been dead for six years, and we still hadn’t discussed anything about her medical condition.

The Simpsons Casting Couch – This actually is bad, but I chuckled.

The Simpsons Life – Cool fan poem.

Adventure Time Syrup, Independent Thought Alarm Button – I have friends who are teachers, I would definitely buy them an Independent Thought Alarm gag gift.

LisaSimpsonStudent – This list of Lisa episodes goes way too deep into Zombie Simpsons for my taste, but there are some very good ones listed as well.  I am slightly disheartened by the lack of “Lisa’s Pony” or “Lisa the Greek”, but that’s just me.

D’OH – Heh.

Póngalo en la H / Put it in H – That would be the car they had in mind.

How Do *You* Like to Party? – Excellent reference:

While I was thinking about potential party and promo ideas, and trying to tie elements of the party into the book, I remembered that for most of the book, Denny carries a shotgun, and it kind of becomes an iconic weapon for her. Then, unfortunately, because my mind inevitably slips into Simpsons references, I pictured Homer out in front of the bowling alley with a shotgun… Bowling! Get your bowling here!
I have a feeling that this marketing plan would attract record numbers of police and fire officials, but few would stay to purchase books.

You’ll never know till you try.

D’oh! – A personal essay about the show that plenty of us can relate to:

So the question is “What do I owe The Simpsons?”. Well, to be honest, probably more than even I realize. It was the first thing that I can really remember immersing myself in; it was the first time that I felt like something was mine. The very foundation of my sense of humor is cemented in the early Conan O’ Brien, John Swartzwelder episodes, marked by absurd but engaging situations, and witty dialogue. It was the first time in my short life that I was able to see something and then try to mold myself from that model in emulation of it. I think everyone of us has that at some point in our childhood, and I think it’s a pretty big psychological development. It represents cognizance, analysis, and repetition, but also a degree of self-awareness since you have to be aware that you’re trying to change your behavior, or yourself in order to emulate, or replicate some external stimuli. For me, that stimuli was The Simpsons, and for this I owe the Simpson family, and Matt Groening a Duff.

Daddy Duty: Homer Simpson – Someone dads can relate to – Columnist loves the show, doesn’t mention the decline, cites only episodes from single digit seasons, yeah, this is one of those.

C. Montgomery Burns’ Handbook of World Domination Book Review – Sounds nice.

When did ‘The Simpsons’ go downhill? – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us, this time in the Kankakee, Illinois Daily Journal:

Before the marathon, I would have been hard-pressed to tell you exactly when the show went downhill. Now I can tell you that it was probably in season 12 (I missed season 11, so it could have been then, too. Many critics point to this time as the start of the downfall).


I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that at some point, the characters became almost caricatures of their worst traits. Now, Marge is not much more than the nagging wife, Lisa the sanctimonious vegetarian, Bart the troublemaker, Homer the drunken buffoon. They’re not as nuanced as they once were, and they’re definitely lacking a lot of the humanity they once had.
There’s also the matter of the millions of guest stars. The later episodes are too focused on cameos from whoever is popular that millisecond, and the writers are more interested in sucking up to the celebrities, instead of parodying them.
For instance, in the “Lisa Goes Gaga” episode in season 23, Lisa learns from guest star Lady Gaga that’s important to be true to yourself, which, yawn. I was unaware “The Simpsons” had turned into “Sesame Street.”

Heh, too true.  Too true.


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection12

“Oh, sorry, Simpson, you’ll have to do the course again.  I was trying to get this magic eye thing to work.  Ah, look at that: a pony.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection11

“Alright, you scrawny beanpoles, becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight.  It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection10

“Cuff him, boys.  We’re putting this dirtbag away.” – Chief Wiggum
“Ha.  I’ll be back on the street in twenty-four hours.” – Snake
“We’ll try to make it twelve.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection9

“The ‘garage’?  Hey fellas, the ‘garage’!  Well ohh-la-di-da, mister Frenchman.” – Moe
“Well, what do you call it?” – Homer Simpson
“A car hole.” – Moe


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection8

“Uh, excuse me?” – Marge Simpson
“What, what, what, what, what, what what?  This better be about pizza.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection7

“Are you really allowed to execute people at a local jail?” – Hans Moleman
“From this point on, no talking.” – Reverend Lovejoy


“Strong Arms of the Ma” Makes Baby Jesus Cry

The Springfield Connection6

“Homer, there’s no reason for you to feel threatened.  You’ll always be the man of this house.” – Marge Simpson
“Aww, thanks honey.” – Homer Simpson

These Season 14 commentary posts might be a little strange because I haven’t seen more than a handful of these episodes before. I gave up on the show in Season 12, but I saw about half of Season 13 when it was on the air, mostly out of habit and boredom. The only Season 14 episode I’m sure I’ve seen all the way through is the Halloween one, which I mistakenly gave a chance the night it was broadcast.

Just having watched this one with the commentary on, I’m glad I never sat through it the first time. From start-to-finish it’s filled with common Zombie Simpsons problems.  Characters appear at random, there’s a lot of recycling going on (pretty much the whole plot is a thoughtless rehash of “The Springfield Connection” with the zany turned to 11), and things make so little sense that they actually acknowledge it several times during the commentary. On the plus side, I did learn something I never knew about the Rocky theme, so there’s that.

Seven people on this one.

0:40 – How the sausage gets made: Omine originally pitched Homer getting mugged and then becoming agoraphobic, and that got changed to Marge getting mugged, which even they admit gets kinda dark and less than fun.

1:45 – Here’s a nice reminder about the inherent dishonesty of marketing Zombie Simpsons. This was the actual 300th episode, but FOX wanted to use the 300th on a different date, so they just straight up lied about which one it was. Since the episodes are conveniently listed all over the place, they got called on it instantly. It’s not the world’s most damaging lie or anything, but it’s a nice reminder of a) how little they give a fuck about their audience, and b) that you cannot trust a damn thing FOX says about this show.

2:45 – The Rainier Wolfcastle garage sale scene was based on a time Jean and his wife went to a garage sale for Shirley Jones. I’d like to point out that if you think back to “Bart the Fink”, she was the one who hosted the New Year’s Eve parties that Krusty was going to miss.

3:20 – Reminiscing about another celebrity sale, this time for some of Elton John’s costumes. Now they’re discussing Elton John’s career. Meanwhile, Homer has broken into Wolfcastle’s bedroom, and Wolfcastle doesn’t seem to mind.

4:00 – Still talking about Elton John.

4:15 – Homer folds the family into the car a la Tetris, which leads to an extended discussion about how much people used to play Tetris.

5:00 – Here’s a nice milestone, Jean thinks this may be the first time they “referred to the smell of Maggie’s poo”. I disagree. Homer hands Maggie back to Marge in “Homer’s Triple Bypass” because she’s got stinky pants.

5:30 – And we are completely off topic again. Now they’re talking about car seats and the lack thereof in their youth.

6:00 – After the car seat tangent, Jean gets things back on track by talking about how powerful the Marge-gets-mugged scene is.

6:15 – That leads someone (can’t tell who) to ask why the mugger was wearing a Goofy hat. It apparently didn’t pay off as well as they wanted it too.

6:45 – Jean discussing how when characters go off model, like Marge on steroids, it always throws people off.

8:00 – A long silence is broken during a Marge hallucination so the animator guy can talk about how he did the swirling vortex. They drew a fish eye without using a real fish eye lens. Huh.

8:15 – The animation thing didn’t take long, so Jean mentions that the mailman being trapped under the car was a reference to the Twilight Zone episode where the guy is the last man alive but breaks his glasses so he can’t read. That goes on for a while.

9:00 – Back to talking about how Marge is off model, now with lines under her eyes to show how stressed she is.

9:30 – Jean’s now talking about agoraphobia in general and people he’s known who had it.

10:15 – Long silence here.

10:20 – And back to agoraphobia. Apparently Emily Dickenson was agoraphobic.

10:45 – And now we’re talking about Emily Dickenson some more.

11:15 – Complimenting the animation on an air hockey table that’s in the basement.

11:50 – And everyone “hmms” thoughtfully as Marge picks up the weight set.

12:00 – When drawing a character lifting weights, it’s kinda tricky to get the distance right, i.e. Marge is on her back pushing up the bar, so getting the bar and her hands to look closer to the camera is kind of a pain.

12:40 – Animation guy votes strongly in favor of using hand coloring over digital.

13:20 – Discussing Marge beating up her mugger in a scene that’s the same as when Sonny beats up Carlo in The Godfather. This leads to a longer discussion of the original scene, and while that’s happening Homer and the kids all mysteriously appear even though Marge was off on her own a second ago.

14:00 – Still talking about Godfather.

14:20 – This leads to a discussion about the short lived Comedy Central show Kid Notorious, which had Robert Evans of Godfather fame.

14:40 – Interesting tidbit from Jean. The fanfare from Rocky, not the whole thing, just the fanfare, is apparently an older tune that’s public domain. The “Gonna Fly Now” part is newer so that’s copyrighted. But those opening bars are free so that’s why you hear just the opening so often.

15:00 – Long discussion about how they’ve won awards both from anti-drug and pro-drug people. Hooray?

15:40 – Jean’s talking about Marge’s increasingly muscular and off model physique, right as she catches the school bus from behind and lifts it up. I don’t think he remembered it, because he interrupted his own sentence to note that was a “little crazy”. Ha.

15:55 – After some nervous laughter about Marge lifting the bus, someone else jumps in, “If we’re still talking about Robert Evans . . .”. Sure, why not? Marge just ripped the bumper off the bus, but we’re clearly past that.

16:20 – Still talking about Robert Evans, but now Larry King is involved as well.

16:30 – Roid rage Marge straight up rapes Homer, which cuts to a scene of him looking disheveled and traumatized in the kitchen. Was this before or after Family Guy did the exact same thing? Wikipedia says well after. Jebus, Zombie Simpsons, have some dignity.

17:00 – This leads to a long discussion of funny pictures of real women body builders and their out of place looking husbands.

17:30 – Still discussing real life female body builders.

17:45 – Interesting animation note. When the characters talk through their teeth, they have a chart for how to draw the lips and teeth for each letter.

18:20 – Things called “twister mouth”, when the top of the head goes the opposite direction of the mouth, (which I remember) and “trumpet mouth”, which I’m not sure what it is, have apparently been phased out by this time.

18:40 – Jean says they got rid of “twister mouth” because it distorts reality too much, but as a muscled up Marge is preparing to fight an entire bar’s worth of people, he kinda laughs and says “unlike this reality”. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, they know how weak these episodes are, they just don’t care.

19:00 – Lots of nervous, forced sounding laughter as Marge kicks the hell out of everyone.

19:40 – Mostly silence, broken by the occasional awkward comment. On screen Marge is standing in a destroyed Moe’s, threatening to throw Lenny at Homer.

20:00 – After Marge realizes her rage problem, she shrinks on screen instantly. Jean points out that she seems to have reduced in size already, calls it “sort of a Hulk-ish quality”. Again, they know.

20:30 – More nervous laughter as Marge throws her weight set into the furnace, and Jean says “there’s about twelve things wrong with that”.

21:00 – And we end on them congratulating each other after just having winced and ignored their way through the last third of the episode.


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection5

“They’re butchering the classics!  Could that bassoon have come in any more late?” – Homer Simpson
“Oh c’mon, Homer, there’s lasers.  You like lasers.” – Marge Simpson
“Laser effects, mirrored balls, John Williams must be rolling around in his grave.” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday Danny Elfman!


Crazy Noises: The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

Popping Out of Nowhere (But for a Purpose)

“Is Bart home?” – Milhouse van Houten
“Just taking Maggie for a stroll.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“I guess I am putting up the Halloween-y decorations a little early.  Criticism accepted.” – Ned Flanders

In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22.  Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom.  Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “calluses”,).

We mention this very briefly below, and it’s a recurring problem beyond this episode, but “The Real Housewives of Fat Tony” seemed to have an especially large number of characters who appeared and disappeared at random from different scenes. As Mad Jon mentions, there was the scene where Fat Tony just appeared in the Simpsons’ kitchen, surprising everyone. But there were many more examples, from Cletus and his baby being right next to the school, to Bart and Lisa, then Luigi (and then Otto!) mysteriously appearing in the forest, all the way up to the very end when Fat Tony’s “real” wife came exploding through the fence. When Family Guy does shit like this, they at least have the narrative courtesy to preface it with “remember the time”, “this is just like” or something similar.

[Note: Dave’s still out of the country, but that sap went to a place that has an extradition treaty with the U.S., so we expect him back soon.]

Charlie Sweatpants: Ready to get started?

Mad Jon: Yes

Yes I am

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s been a while since there was a new Zombie Simpsons, so maybe my calluses aren’t as thick as they were a month ago, but that seemed more unorganized and dumb than usual.

Mad Jon: It really fell apart right after Homer goes to the birthday party

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, too bad that was about six seconds into the episode.

Although even before that, the couch gag, while brief, was a repeat of the Blockbuster joke they made like four episodes ago.

Mad Jon: The whole thing was kind of more off the wall than I expected. Lisa as a truffle addict, Spider Pig going haywire, Jersey Shore for some reason, and a Bonanza ending. Each twist was twistier than the twist before it.

Transitions be damned! Did you know that Fat Tony just walks into people’s houses now? I remember a time when he and his associates knocked politely first.

Charlie Sweatpants: This episode suffered from a lot of characters just appearing and disappearing at random.

Mad Jon: It keeps you guessing

Plot tricks like that remind me of when Lionel Hutz argued that hearsay and conjecture are types of evidence.

Charlie Sweatpants: There were an awful lot of reversals, just out of no where.

Including the very end, where the “conflict” between Marge and Selma gets resolved, and then – out of nowhere – they change the premise of the episode so that Selma doesn’t know she really wasn’t married to Fat Tony.

That, I gotta hand it to them, was impressive. They retconned their own episode – within the episode.

Mad Jon: That’s good Teevee

I noticed they made many jokes about the number of Selma’s Marriages. Instead of just the usual one.

Charlie Sweatpants: Lotta time to fill.

Lotta tanning bed jokes, as well.

Mad Jon: One critic note, I thought they swung and missed with the crooked boxer line. If they just would have drowned him after the mention, it would have been funny.

Instead he had to gurgle and gurgle and comment and gurgle.

Charlie Sweatpants: Agreed, if they had just let that guy die while the proposal was going on, it would’ve been funny. But they can’t do anything in the background these days.

Mad Jon: Oh, the tanning jokes eh? For all the guest stars this show can pull, how do they not get any of the actual jersey shore people?

Charlie Sweatpants: I think they think they’re above the real Jersey Shore people.

Mad Jon: Well, they sure did a good job exactly copying them.

Also, on an episode like change of topic, I did chuckle when Fat Tony framed the lobster.

Charlie Sweatpants: Too little too late, for me.

Mad Jon: Quick and clean sight gag, although it was during a montage.

Charlie Sweatpants: The only thing I liked in the episode was the sign in the forest, the one that said “32 trees used to make this sign”.

Mad Jon: I must have missed that while I was watching Lisa lead Bart-Pig around.

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh, it was way before that.

Mad Jon: Well then I have no excuse.

Charlie Sweatpants: The whole Bart on a leash thing was . . . uh . . . different, huh?

Mad Jon: I kinda felt a little creeped out, especially when she put the gag and blinders on….

But that’s the power of addiction for you.

Charlie Sweatpants: And the power of yet another violent swing in the plot. I’ll admit it, I didn’t see pig rampage coming.

Mad Jon: It did tie Luigi back in. Seamless.

Will Spider Pig ever die? Aren’t there other pigs that don’t have a shock of blonde hair waiting in the wings?

Charlie Sweatpants: Spider Pig worked once, and they will run it into the ground until it stops working.

Mad Jon: I know. I know.

Were there actually any non-recurring guest stars on this one?

Seems odd.

Charlie Sweatpants: It was just Mantegna. Though it does seem strange. Maybe the Jersey Shore people are too toxic for anyone to even want to impersonate them.

Then again, the Jersey Shore people were hardly in the damn thing, they were just there for the end to do whatever it is they do that you can get away with in an 8:00pm timeslot cartoon.

Mad Jon: That really feels like a no-brainer. Any trained actor could utter a sentence or two. And that is becoming a common way for Zombie Simpsons to fit an extra guest in real quick.

But I digress.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, they did have them all in that promo image. They usually reserve that for guest stars. This was them leeching off the popularity of others without even letting them on the show.

Mad Jon: Which is funny, because those guys probably would have done it for a bottom shelf margarita.

Charlie Sweatpants: True enough.

Did you catch the almost certainly not-intentional meta joke near the end, when Marge actually said, right after the car crashed through the fence, “This doesn’t make any sense.”?

Mad Jon: No, but I wish I would have. That would have been good for a chuckle.

Charlie Sweatpants: Anything else here?

Mad Jon: Not really, I started dicking around in another tab right after Selma had Fat Tony give her Liposuction and everyone couldn’t stop saying “Take care of it.”

Charlie Sweatpants: Like I said, run it into the ground.

Mad Jon: So I may have done us a mis-service, but I am willing to bet I did myself a favor.

Charlie Sweatpants: That you did.


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