Posts Tagged ‘The Way We Was


Quote of the Day

“I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“That word you keep calling me.” – Homer Simpson
“Ignoramus.” – Artie Ziff
“Ignoramus! It means I’m stupid, doesn’t it?” – Homer Simpson
“There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity.” – Artie Ziff
“Not to me there isn’t!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Comin’ through!” – Barney Gumble
“Barney!” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, yes, they call him the Streak!” – The Larry Davis Experience
“Well, that young man’s bought himself about a decade of detention.” – Principal Dondelinger

Happy birthday, Al Jean!


Quote of the Day

“Homer Simpson? Oh, yeah, junior varsity shot putter. I think if he applies himself, you know, trains real hard, hits the weights, he could go another foot.” – Coach Flanagan
“I had him for four years! Solid C student. Made a lamp last year!” – Mr. Sikovski


Quote of the Day


“Well, where to now, Romeo?” – Limo Driver
“Inspiration Point.” – Homer Simpson
“Ooh, okay, but I’m only paid to drive.” – Limo Driver


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was23

“You know, that nuclear power plant will be opening soon.  It’s one of the few outfits around that won’t require a college education.” – Guidance Counselor
“Me in a nuclear power plant?  Heh-heh-heh, kaboom!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was22

“Ooh, lost a few.  Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was21

“This year’s topic is, Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to fifty-five miles per hour.” – Mrs. Blumenstein
“Fifty-five?  That’s ridiculous!  Sure, it’ll save a few lives.  But millions will be late!” – Homer Simpson
“Why don’t you take con.” – Mrs. Blumenstein


Primetime Cartoons

The Way We Was20

“Back up or it’ll hurt your eyes.” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, it will not.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, yes it will.” – Homer Simpson

First off, all the chapters of the “Tapped Out” minibook are now live here at the site.  If you’ve been waiting to read it for free, now you can.  Thank you to everyone who has purchased it, linked to it from message boards and aggregating sites, or simply read it.  Now onto my next hair brained scheme . . .

I’ve threatened to start a regular Simpsons watching liveblog here a couple of times now. With the upcoming release of the show on streaming (albeit with a sadly restricted audience of only cable customers and people to whom they give their logins), now seems as good a time as any to start actually doing so.   Repetitive complaining about repetitively mediocre Zombie Simpsons episodes is all well and good, but The Simpsons is always more fun to watch than Zombie Simpsons.

I don’t know quite how this wants to work, but this is what we’re thinking:

– Watch an episode every Thursday evening at 8pm Eastern (currently GMT/UTC -4)

– Put up an open thread here at DHS for comments

– Probably create some kind of hashtag so people can follow along on Twitter

– Let you fine Springfieldians decide which episode we watch

Comments, suggestions and general improvements on how we do this are welcome.  In the meantime, and with that final point in mind, I’ve put up a poll on the sidebar at right.  For no particular reason, I picked one episode for each Simpson family member.  (The numbers and letters in parentheses are that episode’s season and DVD disc.)  We can use a different set next week, repeat the ones that don’t get picked, or do something else; whatever happens, that’s a next week problem.  This week, on Thursday evening, Dave and myself  (Mad Jon’s out of the country this week, but will be along eventually) will watch whichever episode gets the most votes.

Join us here, yell at us on Twitter, or just watch them at your own damn convenience (you guys come to this site from a whole smorgasbord of time zones, so my Thursday at 8pm isn’t most of yours).  Whatever you decide, my advice is to ride it out, make an occasional smart alec quip, and before you know it, things will be back to where they started from, ready for another wacky adventure.


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was19

“Hey, Estelle, will you go to the prom with me?” – Barney Gumble
“I wouldn’t go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould!” – Estelle
“Oh, shot down again.” – Barney Gumble
“Hey, don’t worry, Barney, it’s a big school.  There’s got to be a girl nobody else wants to take to the prom.” – Homer Simpson


Reading Digest: Homer Impregnates Patty & Selma Edition

The Way We Was18

“Is Marge here?” – Homer Simpson
“Who?” – Patty Bouvier
“Or what, are you?” – Selma Bouvier
“I’m her date.” – Homer Simpson
“I suppose you want to come in and sit down.” – Patty Bouvier
“Oh, okay.” – Homer Simpson
“Marge’s dates get homelier all the time.” – Selma Bouvier
“That’s what you get when you don’t put out.” – Patty Bouvier 

It’s that weird week of the year between Christmas and New Year’s, when internet traffic plummets, the news goes into recycle mode with cheap posts about best this and worst that, and nobody much talks about The Simpsons on-line.  We do have some excellent usage, clever Australian sports fans, bird sex most foul, and the merchandising machinery has no respect for our hu-man holidays so there’s a hideously expensive jacket you can buy, plus there’s the usual assortment of random stuff and general what have you.  


The Mary Sue Exclusive Clip: Nancy Cartwright, Voice of Bart Simpson, in I Know That Voice – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week contains a couple of short YouTube clips from an upcoming documentary about voice acting.  The first one is Cartwright explaining how there’s a rhythmic difference between characters like Ralph and Nelson, it’s neat.

These Cricket Fans Won The Day With Their Cromulent ‘Simpsons’ Signs – Two Australian cricket fans brought “Dental Plan” and “Lisa Needs Braces” signs to a test match, and there’s pictures.  Bravo, cricket fans.

The 12 Days of Christmas Episodes: The Simpsons – “Grift of the Magi” – Our old friend EJ Feddes takes a look at one of the lesser earlier Christmas episodes.

The Simpsons in its 25th season: showrunner Al Jean on why it endures – A nice little fluff piece on Jean and the show.  Nothing new or terribly interesting, though I did giggle somewhat at this:

A sequel to the 2007 feature film is not ruled out, but there is nothing planned. The writers, divided into two 10-strong teams in different rooms, have an eye for YouTube clips, but the main challenge remains crafting 30-minute stories without repeating previous episodes.

It’s the “main challenge” alright, one they haven’t bested in years.  Also, here’s horse’s mouth confirmation of what we’ve long suspected, they pussyfooted around Bush the Younger because they were scared:

Some writers pitched gags about the second President Bush, but the show largely steered clear because of his volatile ratings and image. “After 9/11 people were saying: ‘You can’t make fun of him, you can’t make a joke about the president, it’s too serious a time.’ Then it went to the opposite where he was widely ridiculed. We work a year ahead and we try to do things which we know will be true when we air,” says Jean. Lacking an actor who did good Dubya was another factor.

Weak sauce, Jean, weak sauce.

New home for turkeys that were saved from the chop – Aw, this is nice:

STUDENTS at Duchy College Rosewarne, in Camborne, have rescued two turkeys from the dinner plate and given them a new home.

Named by the students after characters from The Simpsons TV show, hens Patty and Selma have joined stag Homer and a hen Marge, who already live on the Camborne campus.

Though one imagines none of their namesakes would appreciate this:

Head animal management technician Laura Fallow said: “Patty and Selma have settled in well, they were quite nervous to begin with and their agility means they are able to jump onto the fence but they do not venture far and always return to the stag. We will be breeding Homer with Selma and Patty to produce hatchlings for the spring to sell.”

NFC North teams stink – Excellent usage:

Once again, as I watched NFL games Sunday, I was reminded of that wonderfully cheeky line from “The Simpsons.” The one that goes, “I’ve seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”

The reminder came as each of the NFC North teams lost their games.

The Simpsons Help Us Pinpoint the Second the Cardinals Playoff Hopes Ripped in Half – I put this up on Twitter earlier in the week, but it’s those weird days between Christmas and New Year’s, so why not take another look.  It’s worth a chuckle.

When Ranveer Singh faked an accent to impress girls – Heh:

Bollywood actor Ranveer Singh went down memory lane at a talk show and spoke about the days when he served coffee at Starbucks in the US before he became an actor.

Speaking about his college days, Ranveer said he used to pay attention to his looks when he used to serve coffee. He grew his hair and was all tanned. All the Jewish girls, who used to visit the cafe, found him very appealing and used to often talk about him amongst themselves. He admitted that not only did he take care of his looks but also spoke in an accent to catch the girls’ attention.

He admitted that he used to purposely speak in an Indian accent because the girls found it very appealing. He said he used to talk like Apu from The Simpsons.

8 great Christmas TV episodes – “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” is here, as is “Xmas Story” from Futurama.

TV Character Bracket 2nd Round: #5 Homer Simpson vs. #4 Michael Scott – Homer’s winning, but could always use some more votes.

THE BEST EPISODE THINGY THERE EVER WAS Round 1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire VS Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? – Oof, that’s a tough one.

Homer Vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment – After a couple of week’s off, Ash is back.

The Simpsons – Stick with those old box sets and you’ll be fine:

I have a love/hate thing for ‘The Simpons’ Sometimes I actually love the show and can’t find anything bad about it but the next time I can fully hate it and go weeks on end without watching an Episode.

The Simpsons X Moleskine book collaboration – A closer look at some of those new little notebooks.

lipstickndynamite – One of the Best Mom Moments – Lisa and Marge at the end of “Moaning Lisa”.  Indeed one of the best.

Charity Christmas display targeted by ‘selfish’ thieves – Some asshole in Britain slashed a Christmas display, including an inflatable Homer.

27 Funny Vehicles Spotted on The Simpsons – There’s some Zombie Simpsons here, including that idiotic Lady Gaga train, but it’s mostly good.

Pedalling in the Christchurch garden – New Zealand had a bad earthquake three years ago, now there’s a short bicycle tour of some of the still remaining wreckage, including a wall that collapse to reveal the inside of someone’s bathroom and their giant “You’ll have to speak up I’m holding a towel” cutout of Homer.  (It’s the second image in the slideshow.)

Dag 321 – Wouldn’t it be nice to see someone wearing this shirt wheeled a big stack of beer into a store/bar?

Dag 322 – Homer, ready for a night on the town.

NOWHERE / BABY MILO® THE SIMPSONS™ – See the two (2) trademark signs in that link?  They aren’t a coincidence, but you can buy a truly ugly Simpsons jacket for $300.

KBCW Presents: The Simpsons Classics! – Even local TV stations with syndication rights know that Zombie Simpsons is garbage.  Observe:

In 2014, KBCW will be reliving that TV history from the very beginning.

Starting January 6th KBCW presents The Simpsons Classics: a Bay Area broadcasting event presenting the first twenty years of “The Simpsons” in order from the very beginning.

Witness Homer’s first industrial accident, Marge’s very first groan of disappointment and the introduction of Troy McClure, Disco Stu, and Blinky the three eyed fish. Re-introduce yourself to every character, every guest star and every pop culture element as KBCW presents the classic episodes that have not been seen on Bay Area broadcast television in years.

Catch every episode of the first 20 years of the Simpsons in order.

We’ll be running the first decade of the Simpsons at 6pm, starting with season one episode one, then well be running the second decade at 10:30 starting with season 10 episode 1.

One of these time slots is better than the other.

Take Me to the Pilot #6: “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us.  This is a thoughtful reminiscence about watching the first episode as a kid, and then again as an adult.  The whole thing is worth a read, and it agrees with us precisely:

It’s easy to forget how humble the show’s beginnings were, and how grounded in real-world economic hardships the Simpson family was in the show’s early days. Watching a current episode of The Simpsons–with its super-slick animation, too-tight pacing, and absurd stories that only occasionally remind us why we ever cared about these characters in the first place–is like watching a completely different show.

Amen, brother.  If only there were a name for that different show . . .


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was17

“Homer Simpson, I thought you dropped out.” – Principal Dondelinger
“You wish, Dondelinger.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s Mister Dondelinger.” – Principal Dondelinger


Behind Us Forever: What Animated Women Want

The Way We Was16

“Now that that unpleasantness is behind us forever . . .” – Selma Bouvier

[Note: It has become apparent, much to my disappointment, that I cannot run a website that criticizes Zombie Simpsons without, you know, watching the damn episodes.  So I’m going to try this out as a low effort way to make fun of them and give people a place to bitch.]

  • Oh look, a Breaking Bad opening that comes after that show has been cancelled and the internet did a better job a full year ago. 
  • “The coolest sushi restaurant in town” – Springfield continues to resembled the toniest parts of Los Angeles.
  • The fight/flee thing is total filler.
  • “Ooh, a cupcake!” – Yeah, that’s something Lisa would do.  [sarcasm meter explodes]
  • The kids watching A Streetcar Named Desire is lazy even by Zombie Simpsons standards.  Ms. Hoover is there for some reason, the kids are paying rapt attention to a slow, literary movie from decades before they were born, and it’s something they’ve used and parodied much better (and several times) already.  So it’s nonsense, poorly thought out, and a repeat.  It’s the Zombie Simpsons triple play!
  • And Skinner just showed up for a punchline and then disappeared.
  • Hey, it’s Milhouse in a Bazooka Joe jacket except it’s not a joke, the show is actually presenting him as cool.
  • This school therapist scene is godawful, especially the cheap setup/punchline of I’ll-be-there/I’m-fired.  This dialogue has none of the wit and sparkle of Murphy Brown.
  • Okay, I really shouldn’t have blown up my sarcasm detector so quickly.  Lisa’s behavior in this episode is so far out of character for her it’s hard to describe. 
  • The “Deplete from the ocean” line is kinda funny, and, right on cue, they spoil it by wasting time citing a series of lame examples.
  • Uh, why did the food come alive?
  • How did we get to Moe writing fan fiction?  Did this episode come in fifteen minutes short?
  • “Saying it in a singsong fashion” – Nothing says great comedy writing like explaining your jokes while you’re making them.  They really should just give up and insert a laughtrack already. 
  • Not sure who’s doing the Brando impression, but not a lot of effort went into it.  And it’s not like Brando’s hard to impersonate either. 
  • Seriously, why did the food come alive?

So an episode titled “What Animated Women Want” is filled with voiceover and is based on the kind of cliched dating advice that might have been a bestseller in 1973.  That’s all pretty bad, but when it’s about a) Marge and Homer having marital problems and b) Milhouse’s crush on Lisa, it’s not only the romantic ideas that are stale, it’s the stories as well. 

Anyway, the ratings are in, and they are atrocious.  Just 4.07 million people got retrograde dating advice last night.  That’s good for second place on the all-time least watched list, trailing only last year’s “Ned ‘N Edna’s Blend”. 


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was15

“You know, I can’t believe we’re talking about the same movie.  I thought McBain was a non-stop rollercoaster of chills, thrills, spills and kills!  And that chase at the end, my friend?” – Not Ebert
“Are you nuts? That movie stinks like your creepy one bedroom apartment.” – Not Siskel
“Your mother didn’t think it was so creepy.” – Not Ebert
“My mother, real mature.  I’m sick of your grade school insults.” – Not Siskel
“I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was14

“You may not remember me.  I’m Homer Simpson, I mooned for rebuttal.” – Homer Simpson
“Yes, I remember.” – Marge Bouvier

Happy birthday Al Jean!


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was13

“Hey, Homer, you’re late for English.” – Barney Gumble
“Pfft, English, who needs that?  I’m never going to England.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was12

“If you pinch your cheeks they’ll glow . . . a little more.  Try to break some capillaries, dear.” – Jacqueline Bouvier
“Couldn’t we just use rouge for this?” – Marge Bouvier
“Ladies pinch, whores use rouge.” – Jacqueline Bouvier


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was10

“Homer, do you have any plans for after graduation?” – Guidance Counselor
“Me?  I’m gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Way We Was9

“So, uh, what are you in for?” – Homer Simpson
“I’m a political prisoner.  Last time I ever take a stand.” – Marge Bouvier

Happy birthday Julie Kavner!


Saturday afternoon Cartoons

The Way We Was8

“Wait a second, is that a bong? . . . You have asthma? . . . Alright, move along.” – Principal Dondelinger

The care that The Simpsons put into every episode remains impressive all these years later.  Take Principal Dondelinger, a bit part created to act as the unwitting matchmaker for Homer and Marge back at Springfield High School in the 1970s.  Early in the episode, he catches Homer and Barney smoking regular cigarettes in the bathroom.  In response, he gives them detention and calls them “Springfield’s answer to Cheech and Chong”.  Later in the episode, he confronts a nameless student who, probably less than clearheaded, has tried to cram a bong inside his prom jacket.  Not only does Dondelinger mispronounce “bong”, but he lets the kid go, assuming it’s an inhaler.  In other words, Dondelinger is so clueless about weed that he doesn’t know what Cheech and Chong are smoking and fails to recognize actual marijuana when he sees it. 

It’s the little touches like those that allow an otherwise one-dimensional character to have some personality, stick in your mind, and get in some jokes that are both excellent and subtle.  He’s more than just another guy who doesn’t like Homer, he’s as fleshed out a 1970s principal as about six lines of dialogue allow. 


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