Posts Tagged ‘Treehouse of Horror IX


Quote of the Day

“First you torched that orphanage, then you blew up that bus full of nuns.” – Chief Wiggum
“Hey! That was self defense.” – Snake
“Well, you’ll be seeing lots of nuns where you’re going, pal, Hell!” – Chief Wiggum


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Everyone Snake swore revenge on is being murdered!” – Bart Simpson
“It’s almost as if he’s killing from beyond the grave!” – Marge Simpson
“I told you capital punishment isn’t a deterrent.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Ensign Kodos, set coordinates for the obscure, t-shirt producing planet known as Earth.” – Kang


Quote of the Day


“The chair? Oh, how come they only do crucifixions during sweeps?” – Homer Simpson
“Snake played lacrosse at Ball State University.” – World’s Deadliest Executions Announcer


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror IX6

“Hi, I’m Ed McMahon, tonight on FOX, from the producers of When Skirts Fall Off and Secrets of National Security Revealed, it’s World’s Deadliest Executions!” – Ed McMahon


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror IX4

“It’s probably nothing, but we just wanted to be sure.” – Marge Simpson
“Ahh!” – Dr. Hibbert
“Is there anything you can prescribe, doctor?” – Homer Simpson
“Fire.  And lots of it.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Oh, that’s your cure for everything.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror IX5

“Oh, Homer, you’re not going as a hobo again?” – Marge Simpson
“Going where?” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror IX3

“You cannot smoke in here.  Please, the sign is clearly posted, sir.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Aw, God, you smokers disgust me.  Hey, Pu, you got a breakfast cereal for people with syphilis?” – Moe


Reading Digest: Everyone Thinks the Same Thing Edition


Image (which I couldn’t embiggen) shamelessly yoinked from here.

“Oh please, Lisa, everyone’s already figured that out.” – Marge Simpson

The indisputably big news this week was the appearance of the fabulous Murdoch boys in front of the British Parliament.  With the elder Murdoch alternately nodding off and generally seeming disconnected (or doing a very good impression thereof) while the younger one frequently leapt to answer questions whether they were directed at him or not, the entire world started making jokes about Burns and Smithers.  Both became trending topics on Twitter, and the comparison was mentioned in everything from newspapers to Wednesday’s The Daily Show.  So there are a lot of links about that this week, some better than others.  There’s also a ton of other good stuff, far more than usual: fan made art, musical links, a recap of what the Springfield soccer riot would’ve really looked like to a soccer fan in 1997, the first reading of a play I very much want to see, and some fantastic network television history.


The Passion of Bart Simpson – Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week is an update on that play I mentioned a couple of weeks ago.  It’s set in a post apocalyptic world where Simpsons stories are handed down as folklore, specifically “Cape Feare”.  Thanks Andreas!

Murdoch – I guess we should get started with the Murdoch links.  Here’s what Rupert looks like with horns added electronically by Channel 6, as well as both Murdochs with their Springfield doppelgangers superimposed over them.

Rupert Murdoch . . . In 10 Words – Heh.

Life imitates art… sound familiar? – A satirical letter pushing the bounds of the Murdoch/Burns Murdoch/Smithers thing.  You Brits and your dry humor.

Murdoch looks to ‘stronger’ future as web looks to Simpsons – The Australians can get in on the fun too:

Rupert Murdoch was compared to Mr Burns, the villain in The Simpsons, his son James was described as Mr Burns’s sidekick Smithers and Mrs Brooks as Sideshow Bob.

Both Burns and Smithers were among the top trending words on the social networking site.

"So we had Mr Burns and Smithers, then Krusty threw a pie and Now Sideshow Bob’s in the seat," wrote one user, while another added: "It is astonishing quite how much they look/sound like Mr Burns & Smithers. Is this some kind of spoof or satire".

With James Murdoch Indisposed, What Now for the Muppet Mansion? – James Murdoch (you know, Smithers) may have purchased Jim Henson’s old townhouse in Manhattan, which prompted this piece of excellent usage:

(We’re quickly reminded of News Corp. employee Homer Simpson’s description of what a Muppet is for son Bart: “Well, it’s not quite a mop, it’s not quite a puppet, but man… [brief laughter] … So to answer your question, I don’t know.”)

Homer was actually addressing Lisa, but the quote is spot on so that’s definitely excellent usage.

Celebrity reaction on Twitter to Rupert Murdoch and son James select committee evidence – More snarky Burns/Smithers commentary about Tuesday’s appearance of Murdochs pere et fils.

“The Simpsons” defense – It’s probably not a good sign when the only example of News Corp editorial non-interference a Wall Street Journal editor can come up with is the Simpsons.

New Sarah Palin documentary ‘The Undefeated’ bashed by critics – That’s it for the Murdochs, but there is another famous right winger who didn’t have the best week:

In the Simpsons’ episode “A Star is Burns,” famed billionaire Charles Montgomery Burns wanted to improve his personal image and wanted members of the general public to admire him. He decided to produce a film, directed by Senor Spielbergo, which put him in a positive light. The Springfield film festival crowd was not impressed and booed the picture.

This led to Burns asking Mr. Smithers, if they were booing him. Smither replied, “No, sir, they’re saying boo-urns, boo-urns.”

That’s not quite excellent usage, Smithers doesn’t have a “sir” in that sentence, but it’s damn close.

I Heard It Once… – Just on pure Season 8 love, someone took the time to transcribe all of Ned’s epic meltdown from “Hurricane Neddy”.

What Went Wrong? The Springfield Soccer Riots in Retrospect – The riot from “The Cartridge Family” as if it really happened as written by someone who actually knows about soccer.  This was a great little read.

popurrí VI – Among other random pictures, there is one of a Homer Simpson vagina.  If you are reading this somewhere you can get fired from, you might not want to click.

SDCC 2011 Exclusive #97: Hallmark Cards Comic Book Guy – The Simpsons Ornament – The Krusty Brand Seal of Approval appears to have broken the meta barrier for Comic-Con merchandise.  This is a little Comic Book Guy figurine that says “Worst. Con. Ever.” on the front, yet can only be bought there.  If I say something snarky and mean about this I’m only contributing, so let’s just move on.

D’oh! Songs To Listen To In A Power Plant – Links to a ton of songs that are from the Simpsons or at least in some way related.

How to Beat the Heat – I could definitely have used a Jacuzzi Suit this week.

Review: HORRIBLE BOSSES – Another Moderately Funny Studio Comedy – Excellent usage:

In a classic Halloween episode of The Simpsons, Homer Simpson’s boss, Mr Burns, is depicted as a vampire. Homer is encouraged by his family to drive a stake through his heart. “Kill my boss?” he cries.  “Do I dare live out the American dream?”

26. Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment – Our friend Mike Amato is still going through Season 2, but he’s added a few audio commentaries with friends of his.  It’s illuminating to hear the crosstalk of Simpsons fans extemporaneously discussing things.

If Bart Simpson Was Tank – Fan made sketch of a hyper-muscled Bart.

The Simpsons and “The Raven” – A little literary fan appreciation for the first “Treehouse of Horror”.

Yeardley Smith, La La Anthony, Marylouise Burke and More on Tap For Love, Loss and What I Wore – Smith will be briefly taking on an Off-Broadway role from early August through early September.

Homer and Marge – At the home of the real Isotopes in Albuquerque there are life size statues of Homer and Marge.  It’s neat and all, but why doesn’t Marge have any hands?  (via)

Cairo Graffiti -For Whom Exactly? – Revolutionary graffiti in Cairo, including a rather bloody looking Homer.

Deere With Growth Traction – John Deere is apparently having a very good year:

“We see John Deere has come out with this year’s line of roto-tillers. Surprise, surprise, they’re green. I say it’s time to send John Deere a Dear John.”

(That’s one of my favorite lines from The Simpsons.)

While the farm equipment critic for The Springfield Shopper may be growing tired of Deere & Company‘s (DE – Analyst Report) famous green machines, the rest of the world can’t seem to get enough of them.

Excellent usage.

HANK AZARIA TALKS ‘THE SIMPSONS,’ GIVES HIS TAKE ON DUFFMAN AND BUMBLEEBEE MAN – A typically news-less interview with Azaria as he promotes the upcoming Smurfs catastrophe.  He does mention that doing Zombie Simpsons is “routine at this point”, which probably wasn’t intended as a dig at the show, but which I choose to interpret as a dig at the show.

Our Latest ‘Find Me Friday’ Photo Contest Winner – There’s a patriotic and pear shaped Bart Simpson outside a Jamaican grocery in Philadelphia.  Nice picture.

Voters to Congress: Can’t someone else do it? – This is pretty good usage:

What those numbers most remind us — pop-culture obsessives that we are — of is an episode of “The Simpsons” where Homer runs for sanitation commissioner on the slogan: “Can’t someone else do it?”

In essence, Homer promises he will solve everyone’s trash problems — up to and including shoving down garbage in peoples’ cans with his own two hands. (Wouldn’t that be great?)

Homer’s wild promises win him the job but he is unable to deliver on any of his major pledges and is summarily run out of office (and publicly flogged).

The quote is right, but Homer didn’t get flogged, just fired.

Fall TV Campaign’s Flashback – 1990 – Four YouTube videos of the fall promo spots for all four networks.  I’ve posted the FOX one before, but these are all nice time capsules of what network TV was like back at the dawn of The Simpsons.  In the FOX video you can see very young versions of Christina Applegate, Johnny Depp, and Jim Carrey; the ABC one has MacGyver, Neil Patrick Harris when he was still a doctor, and a baby Olsen twin.  I watched all four videos, and all I can say is that this is what the 80s thought the 90s were going to look like.  Fantastic post.


Crazy Noises: Treehouse of Horror IX

Spawning Locations

“To put you at ease, we have recreated the most common spawning locations of your species.  You may choose either, the back seat of a Camaro, an airplane bathroom, a friend’s wedding, or the alley behind a porno theater.” – Kodos

For the third summer in a row, we at the Dead Homer Society are looking to satisfy your off-season longing for substandard commentary on substandard Simpsons.  This summer we’ll be looking at Season 10.  Why Season 10?  Because we’ve already done Seasons 8 and 9 and we can’t put it off any longer.  Prior to Season 10, we watched as the show started falling over, this is when it fell over.  And while the dust wouldn’t settle completely for another season or so, there is no bigger gap in quality than the one between Season 9 and Season 10.  Since we prefer things to remain just as they were in 1995, we’re sticking with this chatroom thing instead of some newer means of communication that we all know just isn’t as good.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (depressingly enough, not on “syphilis”).

Today’s episode is 1004, “Treehouse of Horror IX”.  Yesterday was 1003, “Bart the Mother”.

[Note: Mad Jon was trying to join us via smart phone and it, uh, didn’t work quite as well as we hoped.  So if this seems stupider than usual, blame Steve Jobs.]

Dave: I’m surprised no one has invented breakfast cereal for people with syphilis yet.

Charlie Sweatpants: That may be the best joke in this episode, especially the callback where we see Moe actually eating it.

Mad Jon: I almost choked when he asked for that cereal, I had forgotten about that joke.

Charlie Sweatpants: Overall, this is a really uneven Halloween episode.

The toupee episode has such a thin premise. I don’t need mystery or suspense, but how many times did they think it was going to be funny to have Homer change into Snake?

Dave: Clearly several.

  It was basically all they did as far as I could remember.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, it had some decent little set pieces. I liked Brockman’s reporting, and the game show style executions on FOX.

But by the time Marge cuts Lisa off about everyone already having figured that out, it’s already worn thin.

Dave: Sure. I don’t know, it’s not revelatory to say that ToH episodes have gone downhill but it was really evident here. No fresh ideas.

Charlie Sweatpants: No fresh ideas is a good way to describe it. The entire cartoon segment is like a really lame version of Animaniacs or something.

The best parts of that segment are the non-cartoon parts, from Kathy Lee Gifford saying that Dom DeLuise can interview himself, to Homer’s "going where?" as he’s dressed as a hobo.

Dave: Yeah, that wasn’t so bad.

Charlie Sweatpants: But the cartoon parts just feel stale. I get the jokes and all, but they’ve been done better elsewhere. Like you said, no fresh ideas.

Dave: Yeah. Compared to what came before it, this is a really weak effort.

Charlie Sweatpants: To some extent the same applies to the Jerry Springer segment, but that one has a lot more life to it.

The sexual insecurity of both Homer and Kang, the idea of putting aliens into one of Springer’s shows, it moves faster and has quite a few more laugh lines.

I’m particularly fond of Kang’s "I hear all!", Hibbert’s "Fire, and lots of it" and the always hilarious sex scene between Marge and Kang, where we get to see all the cliches of sex cast into a ludicrous light. "Have you decreased in mass?" always gets me.

Dave: I’m with you, I suppose the parody of Springer at the time may have been more salient, novel.

Mad Jon: I like when Marge comments on Kang’s bedroom celerity.

I have a fondness for this segment, but just because I used to watch a lot of Jerry Springer. And this is exactly what it is like. Exactly.

Charlie Sweatpants: The final segment works pretty well overall. It was also the first time I can recall anyone realizing that bleeps themselves are funny.

Which is true.

Dave: Heh.

Charlie Sweatpants: Anything else here?

Dave: Not so much.

I’m ready to move on.

Charlie Sweatpants: Move on? I thought we were done.


Crazy Noises: The Scorpion’s Tale

Treehouse of Horror IX2

In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22.  Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom.  Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “bludgeon”).

One of the more tedious aspects of watching Zombie Simpsons is the way it keeps making the same television-y mistakes week in and week out. For a small case in point from “The Scorpion’s Tale”, just take a look at the scene with Lisa, Homer and Grampa in the kitchen. This is where Lisa confirms her (patently obvious) suspicions that Homer is dosing his father, and where Grampa puts the (even more obvious) twist on things by telling Lisa he prefers to be happy. This is one of those grindingly slow television reveals where everyone, from the writers to people watching at home under the influence of serious pain medication, can see it coming a mile away. Despite that, they drag it out as long as they possibly can. The use of formulaic television dreck like this is one of the things that really sets Zombie Simpsons apart from The Simpsons.

Note: Mad Jon is traveling this week and couldn’t make it, fortunately Dave could.]

Charlie Sweatpants: Ready to get started?

Dave: Sure.

Charlie Sweatpants: Having been away from Zombie Simpsons for a few episodes, did you notice anything different now that you’re back?

Dave: I was taken aback at how much more of a cartoon the show has become.

I mean, this isn’t news really. But it was as blatant as ever this past episode.

  Popped out eyeballs, ad nauseum, will do that.

Charlie Sweatpants: Don’t forget the frat house on the crane, the immediate car fire, pretty much everything that happened in the desert, and Bart getting into his own suitcase for some reason.

Oh, and all the times they grabbed Grampa’s face and contorted it.

Dave: Oh, those things. Yeah.

Charlie Sweatpants: Even when the cartoon-y things were kinda funny they took too damn long. The childproof door to get into the drug company building was a nice idea, but then they had to have Homer struggle with it to kill some time.

Dave: The show’s good at killing time. You forgot about the miserable couch gag.

The 5 minutes of setup in the desert.

  That horrible exchange between Skinner and Chalmers.

Charlie Sweatpants: The couch gag was at least nice enough make how creatively bankrupt it is explicit.

Dave: There is that, certainly.

Charlie Sweatpants: The Skinner-Chalmers thing is really getting out of hand. At this point Chalmers is like one of the neighbors on an old sitcom. He just walks in, delivers one dumb line, and walks out.

Dave: Agreed. He was better in smaller quantities. Frequency here is not appreciated.

Charlie Sweatpants: Good way to put it. About the only thing to be appreciated here was Werner Herzog. He had two lines I can still remember two days after seeing this, which is two more than most Zombie Simpsons episodes.

Dave: Those lines were?

Charlie Sweatpants: The one about him being in the boat with all the lawyers, and the one about "Every night I see the tube".

Those I actually laughed at. Though it should be said that last year he damn near carried an entire episode of "Boondocks", wherein he had many many more good lines than he did here.

But he wasn’t nearly enough to rescue this thing. The plot swings alone doomed it. Just when I thought the popped eyeball thing couldn’t get any worse, they dropped it like a bad habit for their weird generation war ending.

Dave: Yeah

  It got excessive. Once wasn’t funny… I think their assumption was do it a few dozen more times for the lulz.

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s a good point. It seemed like they knew how lame it was, so they thought if they just beat it into the ground that would make it funny. Shades of the worst aspects of Family Guy.

Dave: Yep. You know I’m loathe to do the Simpsons/FG comparison as much as you, but parts felt uncanny. [Ed Note: check out the Family Guy take on popped eyeballs from Sean in comments. Even the eyeball strings are the same length.]

Charlie Sweatpants: Agreed. Anything else here worth mentioning, good or bad?

The only thing I’ve got, and it’s definitely bad, was what might be a new low for them in terms of randomly teleporting characters in and out of scenes.

Dave: How do you mean?

Charlie Sweatpants: At the very end, when they’re lecturing, Lisa has the scorpions on a stick in front of her. There wasn’t much reason for her to be there at all, and instead she’s there with two scorpions just to bludgeon the audience with a reminder of how the whole shit show got started.

Dave: We need our hands held. C’mon.

Charlie Sweatpants: Meh. Live by the two minute attention span, die by the two minute attention span.

Dave: Basically

  Otherwise nothing from me. Seems I haven’t missed much by ignoring the show for a month.

Charlie Sweatpants: No, you most certainly have not.

Dave: Hooray?


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror IX1

“Oh, you look lovely this evening.  Have you decreased in mass?” – Kang


Reading Digest: Alien Olympics Edition

 Wenlock and Mandeville

Image taken from

“I am so fuckin’ embarrassed.” – Marge Simpson

As of this writing, the above is the seventh result on Google Images for “wenlock mandeville”, the names of the two suspiciously Rigelian mascots recently unveiled for the London Olympics in 2012.  Kang and Kodos appear again at #9.  The actual mascots appear nowhere.  That will change, but it’s still a pretty devastating roll out for your shiny new public relations vehicle.  I only included two links to this topic, though there were many more if I wanted them.  Oh well, the run up to every Olympics is always filled with horror stories about stadium construction, cost overruns and, in this case, alien mascots, but once the games start no one remembers them.  In addition to Olympic mascot follies, we’ve got some excellent usage, a disappointing guest star list, Top Chef pictures, excellent usage, a pathetic conspiracy theory, another victory for Malibu Stacy in her war against Barbie, and a spectacular road trip idea. 


Springfield – Detail, with photos, of the Simpsons themed foods on Top Chef

Springfield, USA – An all Springfield road trip?  Going from one Springfield to another across the US?  That is a fantastic idea.  No, it’s better than that, it’s a fan-fugu-tastic idea.  Sadly it’s still theoretical at this point, but if I ever have any money and free time, that would be a kick ass way to spend a month or so on the road.  Click through for tidbits on many of America’s Springfields.

Ten Fictional TV Businesses that I Wish Were Real – Moe’s is on here, though I’m disappointed in the lack of Leftorium. 

In the unlikely event of/that…

… I don’t laugh the next time I watch any episode in the sixth season of the “Simpsons”, I will go longer than a week without watching a single episode. That would be a record. The sixth season produced so many upper echelon episodes that some (“Lisa’s Rival”) even spawned T-shirts.

Hmmm, have I gone more than a week without watching the show since it started on syndication?  Probably not.

Matt Groening Draws Joanna Newsom And Sonic Youth As Simpsons Characters – Remember that music festival “curated” (I’m still not sure what that means) by Groening?  Well, he drew the performers, and you can click to see the one of Joanna Newsom.  Also, there’s this piece of awesomeness:

The image of Sonic Youth below was on The Simpsons back when people our age actually watched The Simpsons, like a million years ago.

On Second Thoughts… – Looks like I wasn’t the only one to see the new London Olympic mascots and immediately think Kang and Kodos.  And this is after the logo was compared to Lisa giving head, what’s next London?  (Also, there are two quotes there, the first is kosher, the second not so much.) 

Are Wenlock and Mandeville Olympic-Size Simpsons Copies? – Here’s another one, with side-by-side art.

Barbie is a working girl and farts out dust – This is excellent usage of the highest caliber, working some of the magic of “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy” into a report about new Barbies.  Bravo.

The 11 biggest nerd heroes to have appeared on ‘The Simpsons’ – Ugh, lotta Zombie Simpsons on here.  No James Earl Jones, no Buzz Aldrin, no Patrick Stewart, neither of the X-Files twins . . . and no George Takei!  How dare you! 

Bart Simpson’s Chalkboard by Work Club – Someone wrote all of Bart’s chalkboard sayings on a real chalkboard.  There’s YouTube at that link, as well as a clickthrough to a neat zoomable image of the completed work.  (Also, fuck you spellcheck, “zoomable”, “clickthrough” and “spellcheck” are too words.) 

Wut? – This is a side by side image of a background painting from the Springfield Monorail (pre-catastrophe) and the World Trade Center back in 2001.  They do bear a resemblance, but I’m more inclined to think it has something to do with The Towering Inferno, one of the bloated masterpieces of the 70s-disaster genre.  Image here, (yes, that is O.J. Simpson).  Oh, and for the record:

I wonder how many hits the tags ‘Simpsons’ and ‘conspiracy’ will get my blog?

I found it from the Simpsons tag, but we don’t generate all that many hits. 

Take Me Out to [the new and improved] Ballgame – This is a list of suggestions for making Major League Baseball less boring, and it begins with “Duffless”, as it should.  Personally, I’ve gone to far fewer games since they jacked up the price of beer a few years ago, because Homer was right, that is not a game to be enjoyed sober. 

The Top Ten James Bond Parodies of All Freaking Time – I’d have put Scorpio higher, but this is a pretty good list.  Though, where’s the Peter Sellers Casino Royale?  Also, Archer is great. 

FP Tech Desk: Computers now detect sarcasm (…great) – I think boing boing had the right take on this:

An Israeli research team has designed a computer algorithm that recognize sarcasm with about 77 percent accuracy. How many computers have to understand all the jokes made at their expense before we get Skynet?

We really are just asking for the robot apocalypse at this point.  That said, the link above made the Simpsons connection and it comes with Spanish (I think) language YouTube:

Comic Book Guy sounds muy macho. 

World Of Springfield: Mr Plow Homer – I am generally against crappy Simpsons merchandise, but I’ve got to admit it’s pretty clever to include a “Stockdale for Veep” shirt with the Mr. Plow doll.  Also, excellently quoted.

Are We There Yet? – To my knowledge I’ve never had a cyst, so I’m probably not qualified to speak here.  But I do know that The Simpsons can only help any situation, so, best of luck. 

The Simpsons – The original Family Guy – This guy held out longer than I did:

Up until about season 15 my claim to fame was that I had seen every ‘The Simpsons’ episode about 4 or 5 times.

Let’s Make a Deal – This isn’t the usual vitriol I like when talking about the decline of the show, but it counts:

While I’ve enjoyed The Simpsons for many years, and still tune in every now and then, it just doesn’t have the same zip it used to.

I say kill it with fire, but to each his own.  Wait, there’s one more!

Simpsons – Now this is more like it:

I don’t know when I smartened up, but we both enjoy a good laugh at the classic Simpsons and not the simpleton clone all comedy shows have now become.

I don’t know about all comedy shows, but “simpleton clone” is a great way to describe Zombie Simpsons. 


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