Posts Tagged ‘Treehouse of Horror VI


Quote of the Day

“It all started on the thirteenth hour of the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.” – Marge Simpson
“Lousy Smarch weather.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Can you tell us what it’s like in there?” – Dr. Hibbert
“It’s like . . . uh . . . did anyone see the movie Tron?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Dr. Hibbert
“No.” – Lisa Simpson
“No.” – Chief Wiggum
“No.” – Marge Simpson
“No.” – Bart Simpson
“No.” – Patty Bouvier
“No.” – Chief Wiggum
“No.” – Ned Flanders
“No.” – Selma Bouvier
“No.” – Professor Frink
“No.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Yes. . . . I mean, no. No.” – Chief Wiggum


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Good morning, everybody! Panic is gripping Springfield as giant advertising mascots rampage through the city. Perhaps it’s part of some daring new ad campaign, but what new product could justify such carnage? A cleanser, a fat free fudge cake that doesn’t let you down in the flavor department like so many others?” – Kent Brockman


Quote of the Day

“Ah, they’re not so tough.” – Chief Wiggum
“Uh, Chief, that wasn’t a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team.” – Lou
“Yeah, well, uh, he was turning into a monster, though.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day


“Help! Please help me!” – Groundskeeper Willie
“Willie, please, Mr. van Houten has the floor.” – Principal Skinner
“I for one would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance, so parents can adjust their dinner menus accordingly. I don’t like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.” – Kirk van Houten


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror VI12

“What’s going on here?  I’m so bulgy.  My stomach sticks way out in front and my- ahhhh!” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Treehouse of Horror VI”! Original airdate 29 October 1995.

And happy birthday to the one, the only Dan Castellaneta!


Reading Digest: Roots Edition

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“I am the wondrous wizard of Latin!  I am a dervish of declension, and a conjurer of conjugation, with a million hit points and maximum charisma!” – Martin Prince 

This seems to be the week for rare, higher quality stuff, and while there are fewer links than usual below, what we lack in quantity we make up for in quality.  There are three or four that would be a Link of the Week most of the time, including the Latin language link, the six eras of the Simpsons link, the 9 minute video about Homer, and the one about movie plots.  And that’s not all!  We’ve got the family made out of snow, a great fan painting, a couple of looks at Season 1, and more.


Latin on “The Simpsons” – An impressively thorough recounting of the many ways Latin has been used and abused on the show.  Also, there could even be a Latin root for cromulent:

The most famous coinage on “The Simpsons” is “cromulent,” which has become a perfectly cromulent word meaning “authentic” or “legitimate,” ever since its initial appearance in “Lisa the Iconoclast” (3F13, 1996). I’m sure writer David X. Cohen coined it with no thought for its possible etymology, but given that adjectives ending in “-lent” are usually derived from Latin, I propose an etymology from the Latin word “croma,” a first declension noun defined by the 1982 Oxford Latin Dictionary as a “surveying instrument for taking bearings to fix lines of orientation.” The noun’s diminutive form would notionally be “cromula.” I know no other Latin word with the root “crom-,” and it’s easy to imagine that a small instrument whose purpose is to measure straight, accurate lines could yield an adjective meaning “legitimate” or “authentic.”

Watch S2E17 – Homer Simpson – This is a 9 minute video with a talking cardboard box describing the rise and fall of Homer as a character.  The premise gets a little wobbly near the end (I only buy one shift in Homer, not two; and I don’t think According to Jim and various other terrible shows influenced Zombie Simpsons much, if at all), but overall it’s very well done and uses big words in addition to simpler ones:

“The Homer of today is very different from the Homer the show started out with.”

Bristles Babbles #22: The Simpsons Season 1 Review (1989-1990) (SPOILERS) – I got the above link from this thoughtful dissection of Season 1, including this which I’d never noticed before:

Yet another slip-up in episode 8 that I managed to catch on to just by being lucky enough to pause at the right moment comes when the chalkboard gag “I DID NOT SEE ELVIS” changes for a frame before it goes off screen to “I WILL NOT WASTE CHALK”, which was the gag from episode 2.

It really was just a single frame:

The Telltale Head16

Good eye.

Season One: In Retrospect | You Don’t Win Friends With Simpsons – And speaking of Season 1, our old friend Noah P has started a rewatch them all blog.  Here’s his Season 1 retrospecticus with links to each episode.

Saturdays Of Thunder – Episode #044 – And speaking of watching every episode, Ash is up to the National Fatherhood Institute.

Movie plots I have pieced together from The Simpsons – We’ve all had the experience of seeing a movie and thinking, “Wait, I saw that on Simpsons”.  And there’s nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons.  Well done.

Review: The Simpsons: “The Man Who Came To Be Dinner” – I rarely read other reviews of Zombie Simpsons, but this being kind of a weird week, I did read this one.  I am unimpressed.  The author has given a “B-” or higher to every episode so far this season, then he writes stuff like this:

It would be a lot easier to make the case that The Simpsons still has value if the people behind the show seemed to give a damn. But an episode like “The Man Who Came To Be Dinner” is a product of such slapdash, breezy disregard for what makes The Simpsons The Simpsons that it functions as a dispiriting signpost to the show’s hastening irrelevance.

And this:

The Simpsons has survived because of that world and the characters in it—that’s why it can stretch itself into ludicrous shapes for an episode and spring back to its original shape unharmed by the next. The show has rules, the characters have integrity, and actions and emotions have consequences. When “The Man Who Came To Be Dinner” just says, “fuck it” and throws the show’s reality out into space, The Simpsons is left just drifting there, unmoored from what makes it itself.

And that’s not true of pretty much all Zombie Simpsons . . . how, exactly?  Everyone gets their own opinions on the internet, but if you’re willing to swallow – just so far this season – Moe coming down the chimney, an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon without Itchy, Homer getting repeatedly washed overboard during a hurricane, a giant & secret drilling rig in the middle of Evergreen Terrace, and all that weird, magical shit at Burning Man, how does Kang and Kodos cross a line?  The show lost all of its dignity and rules a long, long, long time ago, lamenting that this episode somehow damaged something is illogical and inconsistent at the very least.

The Way They Was: Six Totally Different Shows The Simpsons Has Been – Thanks to reader Cory F. for e-mailing this in, and thanks to the at least two people who linked us in the comments.  I don’t think you can chop up the early seasons with quite that much granularity, but this is one of the more inventive takes on the show I’ve read in a while.

The Simpsons Go Original Star Trek – A rundown of some of the Star Trek references from last week’s closing credits.

In the veganning: Part 1 – A conversion to veganism explained (partially) through the medium of Simpsons references:

When I figured out that lamb chops came from lambs (my Lisa Simpson moment), I refused to eat them anymore.

In Tune With The Drip by Duane Gavins Jr. – Absolutely excellent fan made painting(?) of Lisa and her sax.

Making the Best of Snow – Among other things, there’s a guy next to the entire Simpson family on a snow couch.  Bravo, good sir.

The ‘Mythbusters’/’Simpsons’ Crossover Finally Has A Trailer – Crossover seems like the wrong word here, anonymous headline writer person.

Characters tackle post-apocalyptic challenges in Simpsons play – The play is headed to Albuquerque.

TV Legends Revealed | What Famous Guest Wouldn’t Let ‘The Simpsons’ Make Fun of Him? – But that’s because he was the greatest entertainer in the world.

New trending GIF tagged tv the simpsons pizza… – We got everything we need on you.

‘Bartman’ Outsells ‘Batman’ In France, And So Do These Other Comics – Not much to this more than the headline, but it’s kind of interesting.


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror VI10

“Homer, just give him the donut!  Once he has it, that will be the end of all this horror.” – Marge Simpson
“Well, okay.  If it’ll end horror. . . . Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?” – Homer Simpson
“Sometimes.” – Marge Simpson

Happy birthday Dan Castellaneta!  


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror VI9

“Here comes something!” – Kodos
“Remember the story.  We’re newlyweds on our way to Earth Capital.” – Kang
“Oh, shazbot.” – Kodos

Goodbye, Robin Williams.


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror VI8

“Homer, where did you get that?” – Marge Simpson
“Get what?” – Homer Simpson
“That giant donut.” – Marge Simpson
“Well, I acquired it legally.  You can be sure of that.” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday Dan Castellaneta! 


Animation Alley: Treehouse of Horror VI

tohvi-01(this episode directed by Bob Anderson)
Matt Groening has talked about how he feels the less lines needed to convey a character or emotion, the better. This show, and to some extent Futurama, has always hinged on simplistic design, but in an incredibly economical way. A great example is Homer with pantyhose on his head here. Two lines on his forehead to represent the stretching, and his nose being pushed down, and that’s it, you perfectly understand what’s happening. The second frame is unrelated to this topic, I just love Lard Lad’s pose as he comes to life with a Godzilla roar.

tohvi-03I love the framing of this shot, and throughout the episode, of human size vs. Lard Lad size. This donut is literally as big as the Simpson living room, which begs the question of how the hell Homer got it into the house in the first place. No matter though, he can think of no better way to celebrate than stripping down to his skivvies and chugging a beer. He didn’t even take the pantyhose off all the way. The shot of Homer answering the door is fantastic, with Lard Lad’s stern, angry face taking up nearly the entire doorway. How we just hang on the closed door and just hear the sounds of Lad smashing Flanders’ house, realizing Homer lied to him, then storming back is just great. Also, rather than smash the house for lying, he just rings the doorbell again. Homer opens, and it’s the same shot, but with a little Ned running by in the background screaming.

tohvi-02I don’t care what Lou said, this guy is a monster. Look, he’s taller than the buildings! He’s no high schooler, he’s got to be at least twelve feet tall.

tohvi-04The small touches really make this show great. Lisa sees the copyright stamp on Lard Lad’s footprint, and we cut to the ad agency, where we see Lisa’s bike parking outside. You didn’t need to put it there, but that extra detail communicates how she got there, and also emphasizes while she’s clearly smarter than the whole damn town in dealing with this horrible situation, she’s still a child needing to rely on her bike. Also, great posters on the wall: “50 Million Cigarette Smokers Can’t Be Wrong!” and “If You Like Ike, You’ll Love Laramie Septic Tanks!”

tohvi-05This has got to be my favorite Kang and Kodos cameo. It happens so late, so it’s so wonderfully random. I love their shit eating grins as they try to win over the rolling donut, but to no avail (“Oh, shazbot!”)

tohvi-06Our second segment opens seemingly calm and idyllic, but I love how the dream atmosphere is subtly set up with the painterly backgrounds, so you can already tell something is wrong. Then when Santa’s Little Helper gets on his hind legs and starts talking, and Bart does extreme takes like a Tex Avery cartoon, your suspicions are confirmed.

tohvi-07Martin dying is one of the most horrifying things in any Treehouse of Horror. The extreme poses, and Russi Taylor’s absolutely blood curdling scream is absolutely unreal. But, of course, it’s immediately paired with funny as his frightening corpse is revealed to the class, and then subsequently wheeled into the kindergarten. Only The Simpsons could make traumatizing four-year-olds hysterical.

tohvi-08The flashback to Dream Willie’s origins is so fantastic, the quick cuts back and forth from his escape attempts to the budget meeting besting him at every turn. Then when he finally bursts into the classroom, he’s forced to sit down, still on fire. I love how lame he looks sitting here, as he proceeds to burn to death while the most inconsequential discussion about the kids’ lunch schedule goes on. Skeleton Willie is incredibly eerie as well, at least until he dissolves into dust. And, being the school groundskeeper, he cleans up after himself with a dustpan.

tohvi-09Oh, and look at this shot of these three fat fathers in the front room, crouched down and scrunched into these children’s seats. Amidst the tense scene, this shot always makes me laugh.

tohvi-10Once Willie hits the “sinky-sank,” he’s seemingly done for, and quickly morphs through his many other forms before turning back to regular Willie and sinking to his demise. We’d never seen him as an elephant, tank or rocket before, but seeing as they’re all dangerous weapons (especially that elephant), I’m guessing they were forms of destruction he never got a chance to torture kids with.

tohvi-11A really quick bit I really love, a cartoon classic where Homer lifts the flat rug, only to find Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball II hiding under there somehow. And how their growling starts and stops when Homer lifts and puts down the rug.

tohvi-12The money shot of the entire segment, where 2D Homer becomes 3D Homer. Again, looks a whole lot better watching it than staring at framegrabs. The 3D sections were done by Pacific Data Images, who would soon after this pair up with DreamWorks and start up DreamWorks Animation. Keep in mind, this episode aired a mere month before Toy Story released in theaters, so at the time, this was definitely pretty eye opening.

tohvi-13The 3D certainly looks dated by the super technologically advanced age we live in today, but I still like the look of it. They went simple by their means, but also the serve the story. The idea is that Homer is trapped in the third dimension, as in literally the concept of 3D. So he’s just on this grid with a bunch of cones, cubes and spheres, like he’s trapped in a primitive Maya scene file. Also floating around the background are a bunch of 3D and mathematical in jokes, most notable being the Utah teapot, the first object to ever be rendered in 3D. All those math equations I’m sure was the work of writer David S. (later X.) Cohen, who would go on to co-create Futurama, a series with a writing staff who all held phDs, and who put them to work.

tohvi-14Back in 2D, this was a wonderfully nice subtle touch of Frink’s hair bouncing up and down as Wiggum fired blindly into the unknown abyss.

tohvi-15I remember Homer breaking apart falling into the black hole always kinda creeped me out as a kid. It also feels a bit similar to him being broken up in a similar way during the epiphany scene during the movie. Surely a coincidence though. I also remember seeing this segment in an IMAX film CyberWorld. It was a 2000 release that I’m sure played in very, very few screens, I saw it in NYC; it was basically an anthology film of different CG animated segments, which included some short films, the dance scene from Antz, and of course, Homer^3. And it was in 3D! And I only saw it because I wanted to see The Simpsons on an IMAX screen. Does anyone else remember this? Anybody?


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror VI7

“Bart, don’t you realize what this means?  The next time we fall asleep we could die.” – Lisa Simpson
“Enh, welcome to my world.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson


Reading Digest: Real Life Simpsons Edition

Treehouse of Horror VI6

“Eww, this is the worst place yet.” – Homer Simpson

This week we’ve got lots of translations of everyone’s favorite yellow cartoons into the real world.  There’s a fantastic rendition of the theme song done solely by one guy with no instruments, there’s maybe the best Patty & Selma costume I’ve ever seen, there’s more Duff beer, and there’s even a car with speed holes.  On top of that, there’s quite a bit of fan art, plenty of usage, only one Super Bowl link, a great Zombie Simpsons design, and several people who relate to their lives and loved ones courtesy of the show.


Coki Greenway – The First Tee Design I Did – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is an actual Zombie Simpsons print!  And it’s enjoyably gruesome. 

The Simpsons’ Theme Sung By Nick McKaig, if you the series you’ll love this – This was linked and tweeted by a ton of people this week, deservedly so:


The Best Simpsons Game Ever Is Coming to PS3 – Speaking of news that was everywhere this week, that old Simpsons arcade game is coming to PS3 and Xbox 360 next week.  Many people are happy about this.  Click through for an awesome – and I mean awesome – Konami ad from when this first came out.  The clothes are exactly what trendy people in 1991 thought everyone would be wearing for the rest of the decade.  Turns out it was just a late 80s hangover. 

The Simpsons Patty & Thelma – Obviously that should be Selma not Thelma, but these homemade costumes are amazing.  Jub Jub and the MacGyver DVD are the perfect touches. 

Everythings Coming Up Millhouse … – Sweet fan made Milhouse drawing, because everything you need to know about Milhouse is in his glasses and eyebrows.  The guy that did these is getting them screen printed, and you can e-mail him if you want one. 

Poll: What is your favorite episode from Season 4 of The Simpsons? – Season 4 ended up winning Lenny’s poll last week, so this week she’s asking the equally difficult question of which is the best Season 4 episode.  Again, I’m going to wuss out and refuse to answer.  Picking one would just make me want to watch all the ones I didn’t pick. 

Norwood is Springfield – Three locations, a church, a convenience store and a bar, all in a small city, reminds someone of Springfield.  This kind of real life familiarity is one of the things Zombie Simpsons has lost with its constant remaking of Springfield into a trendy part of Southern California. 

10 Things I Miss about Canada – Heh:

2. The Simpsons in English.  Lisa sounds the same in Spanish but Homer sounds like a gruff Mexican General.

The Reason I Could Never Live in Kuala Lumpur – More heh:

It has a monorail. I’ve had the Monorail Song from the Simpsons going round my head for the past five days. Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!  I think if I lived here this would eventually drive me crazy.

Black and White in Color: ‘Joyce Pensato: Batman Returns,’ at Friedrich Petzel Gallery – She takes Simpsons and other pop culture icons and remakes them into cool and creepy art.  You can see some examples here

Big Game: Great Moments In Halftime History – True:

The advent of CGI put a lot of good people out of work, including the stop-motion geniuses behind the Bud Bowl. From 1989 to 1997, even sober children fresh out of Sunday School could join in the Budweiser fun, albeit with their eyeballs instead of their taste buds (still the best way to enjoy an Anheuser-Busch product). Bottles of Bud Light, Bud Dry and Bud Ice would face off in a bout often better than the game itself. It even managed to be spoofed by The Simpsons, in its prime, which should be more than enough evidence to prove how amazing the Bud Bowl was

There’s YouTube of one of the commercials at the link, and they were epic.  When it first started, my classmates and I were obsessed with the Bud Bowl.  They had “pre-game” commercials running in the weeks up to the game, and then there’d be the actual game during the Super Bowl.  We were so young we hardly knew what beer was, but we talked about it endlessly, which was precisely the point.  


Homer Simpson for the soul – Everybody loves the end of “And Maggie Makes Three”. 

20 Years Ago… – Some nostalgia for TV from twenty years ago, including MST3k, Johnny Carson, and The Simpsons

A 10 Word Tribute to Don Cornelius – That’s very righteous. 

QUOTABLE: 3.1 – The Simpsons – Stark Raving Dad – How about some quotes?:

Marge: Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son Bart, you’d see how sane he is.
Doctor: You mean there really is a Bart? Good lord!

Man, I love that psychiatrist.

Sarcasmo To The Rescue! My Wit Cuts Sharp, Cuts Deep – Excellent usage:

Then out of nowhere comes Marv, “Saw it instantly with a glance.”

Me, “‘Oh your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can’t allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go! Go for the good of the city!’”

Perfectly quoted (and don’t forget Sarcastro). 

Six year olds are insane … – Speaking as someone who had to purchase Seasons 1-7 twice, I agree with this:

If I found the same exact joke funny, over and over I’d save a lot of money on DVD’s and crap. Oh wait, I do have that, it’s called the Simpsons.

Some of the best dollars I ever spent based on sheer amount of time I’ve used them. 

KCLS Offers Study Zone For Kids K-12 – This story about a study group contains excellent usage:

"DOWN WITH HOMEWORK!" was the slogan on Bart Simpson’s tee-shirt that provoked the schoolhouse riot at Springfield Elementary, ultimately leading Principal Skinner to impose a uniform dress code.  The episode featuring Bart’s anti-homework sentiment, “Team Homer,” aired on Sunday, Jan. 7, 1996.

That episode is now 16 years old, which means that for a K-12 study group not one of the kids is old enough to remember it when it was first broadcast.  The endurance of The Simpsons shows up in so many ways. 

 ‘Glee’ by the musical numbers: Maxing out on Michael Jackson – Excellent video usage:

Take this line from Mr. Schuester, which followed the horrifying slushie attack on Blaine by the evil Warbler leader Sebastian: “In all my years as a teacher and a student, I have never known a slushie to do that kind of damage.”(Ah, William Schuester. Clearly you are unaware of the permanent brain damage suffered by Bart Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten following the Great Squishee Bender of 1993.)

OUR VIEW: A thing about machines – Moderate usage:

In an amusing episode of "The Simpsons," Lisa Simpson, playing the bad girl, steals all the teachers’ editions of the school books. Mass chaos and panic ensues, with one teacher wailing, "WHO KNOWS THE MULTIPLICATION TABLES??" It’s a funny line, and could be repeated today if the Internet ceased to exist. One imagines students digging for long-discarded encyclopedias or simply curling up in a fetal-like ball if deprived of technological research tools such as Google or even Wikipedia.

He actually says, “Does anyone know the multiplication table?”, but that’s pretty close.

Whats the value of my Bart Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror issue #1 ? – It says there’s only a couple of hours left to answer, but I thought I’d put it here in case anyone knows the answer:

I have 2 copies of this comic it’s an original print, so it’s over 16 years old. I have one with Matt Groenings autograph on it and one without. I’d like to keep the autographed one and sell the other, they’re both in great quality and I’m wondering what’s the value someone would put on each one, thank you :)

Homer Simpson Glue Gob Sells for $240K on eBay | Gather – Sweet Jebus, I guess those bids were serious.  It’s possible it was a prank bid, but maybe not.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make glue bubbles for the rest of the day.

Duff Beer 24 Can Pack – The price of Duff appears to be coming down, though sadly this remains only available in the UK.  (via)

The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach – Excellent usage:

This sort of relationship between young men once attracted no attention by the intensity of its innocence. The feelings it channelled were the ones that powered not just sporting events but armies and empires. Then the Kinsey report was published, and innocence seemed either self-deception or ruse. The buddy movie has never gone away, though recently renamed the bromance, but it can often seem unsure of itself. Even the simplest attitude is mined with contradictions, as when Homer Simpson, unreflecting homophobe, on being informed by tactful Marge that the local antiques dealer prefers the company of men, replies, "Who doesn’t?"

Marge Simpson by ~Babrico-Gurl on deviantART – Cool Marge fan art.

Mmmmm, donuts – A discussion of homemade donuts leads to YouTube of Grampa discovering John F. Kennedy’s terrible secret. 

Smile! – Mother-daughter relations through the lens of “Moaning Lisa”. 

Lazy Saturday « That Thing I Like – If you’re stuck inside you could do far worse than watching what appears to be “Simpson Tide”. 

TV doctors #14 – Dr. Julius Hibbert – And that puts him ahead of Cliff Huxtable, who’s only #17.

Directions from Marge – I’d heard about GPS Mr. Burns a little while ago, but I didn’t know about Marge.  This is on the appropriateness of getting GPS guidance from Marge Simpson:

I’ve watched The Simpsons for a long time, but one of my favorite things about it is the way it creates a bridge between a wide variety of people.  People who might not think they have anything in common can smile together over a Simpsons reference.  They’re a fixture and a reflection of so much in American culture that in some ways Marge is already telling us where we’re going, so it’s only fitting to have her voice on a GPS.

Top 100 Simpsons Episodes – There’s some Zombie Simpsons on here, but barely half a dozen of them, and only like two in the top fifty.  Well done.  And there’s an unusual pick at #1.  It’s a great episode, I just don’t recall ever seeing it at the top of someone’s list before. 

A Tribute to Lisa Simpson: My Feminist Role Model – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us in an awesome way:

I grew up with The Simpsons.

Before I could talk, I could say “D’oh.” I’ve won so many games of Simpsons Scene-It that many of my friends refuse to play with me. Sometimes, my family and I communicate entirely in Simpsons quotes. My ability to relate almost every single life event to a Simpsons scene is often bewildering to those in my anti-capitalist, feminist friend circle, who often question my loyalty to the Simpsons franchise.  However, what they often don’t understand is that this show shaped not only my sense of humor, but also my politics, often from the wisdom of the precocious eight-year-old Lisa Simpson.

She goes on to cite several examples of Lisa’s greatest lines, none of which are even close to Zombie Simpsons.  (And, of course, this is further refutation of that guy’s arguments from last week.)


Reading Digest: Dreams Edition

Treehouse of Horror VI5

“Groundskeeper Willie was in my nightmare too, but he got me with hedge clippers.” – Lisa Simpson
“He ran his floor buffer over me.” – Nelson Muntz

We’ve got a lot of good links this week.  There’s two promising new blogs, several people who agree with us, and lots of fan made stuff (including a Mexican Bart figurine).  But we’ve also got three – count ’em, three! – people who had the Simpsons in their dreams this week.  Good thing you don’t have to pay a royalty for that yet.  There’s also some good discussion of older episodes, a cool Flash map of Springfield, plenty of usage, and Zombie Simpsons damaging relations with Pakistan (well, sort of). 


Clickerbox: The Simpsons Season 2 – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this tour of Season 2 courtesy of someone who wasn’t allowed to watch the show as a kid but has seen many of the later episodes.  She’s harsh on some episodes I love, but it’s fascinating to see someone coming at them from a perspective utterly unlike mine.  She goes through the whole season, so there’s a lot here.

Cartoon Quotes – A new blog featuring, as you may have guessed, daily quotes from cartoons.  It’s brand new, and has quotes from several characters ranging from Bugs Bunny to Shaggy from Scooby Doo, but Homer’s on the banner and there have been three Simpsons quotes already.  All three of them are dead on correct, so let’s hope he keeps it up.

Interactive Map of Springfield – I sort of think I’ve posted this before, but it’s damn cool.

Poll: What is your favorite season of The Simpsons? – Lenny says that after much thought she’s got a favorite, but before she reveals it, she wants to know yours.  I don’t think I could pick one, I’d just feel all the seasons I didn’t pick staring at me accusatorily.  But if you’ve got one, go ahead. 

Kidrobot and The Simpsons present Matt Groening – There’s going to be a Matt Groening doll.  I suppose it was inevitable. 

Forrest Gump and the Simpsons via YouTube – What if you took the audio from an extended trailer for Forrest Gump and matched to clips from the show?  Well, you don’t have to, someone else did and it is fantastic:

That is great. 

The Simpsons Meets Skyrim of the Day – Fus Ro D’oh.

10/18/11 – Even in dreams you can’t escape The Simpsons:

We are at our apartment, watching The Simpsons, while we wait to leave for the wedding. The roommate who is getting married points out how the character Lisa has changed in the episode, while my other roommate bakes.

Merman Sideshow Bob and Bart by ~Foxiso on deviantART – Fan made drawing of a Sideshow Bob as a merman drowning Bart, the idea for which originally came in a dream.

20th January – Another Simpsons dream:

Dream 5! Ohh yeah, we’re getting into the big numbers now! I was in our conservatory. I was with my brother, and a man who looked like one of the characters for the Simpsons. We were about to get filmed for an episode. It went well, so I went to watch the premiere. I looked like a Simpson!

That’s just what you’d look like if you were a cartoon character. 

You Built What?! A Wearable LED Television – Remember that guy from last summer who built a television into a coat and had The Simpsons playing on it?  He’s back, this time with a shirt that also plays The Simpsons.  Excelsior to you, David Forbes.  (via)

Obituary: Phil Hartman – Our old friend Gran2 has started a new blog called “Late Obituaries”.  It’s either obituaries written long after the person dies, or an obituary for the genre of obituaries.  This is the first post, and it strong suggests the former.  That is a great picture of Hartman. 

Bidding war over dried glue that looks like Homer Simpson. Sort of. – When this ends, I just picture the two guys who bid thousands for it giggling and running away when one of them wins as the auctioneer has to ask, “Yes, were there any serious bids for this item?”

Fascinating contest in store – Somewhere in New Zealand there is a racing greyhound named Sideshow Bob:

Secondly, the potent Dave and Jean Fahey Canterbury training partnership provided the quinella in both of those heats, although one of them (Sideshow Bob) has since been an injury-enforced scratching.

I really wish there was a picture. 

Valentine’s Day Card – Awesome homemade “Choo Choo Choose” Valentine’s Day card. 

LEGO-Can you guess what they are? – The Simpsons one is very minimalist and cool, but for giggle factor the champion has to be Lego Princess Leia photocopying her own butt. 

Not Even Selma Will Have Him – Memebase – Forever alone!

Cartoon Pick of the Day: The Simpsons: Maggie Makes Three – Very nice writeup of “And Maggie Makes Three”.

Top 10 TV Theme Tunes – There’s a lot of good YouTube here, as well as more British shows than you usually see on lists like this.  And, of course, we all know what’s at #1. 

CAN’T SLEEP – Very Demotivational – That bed never gets old. 

Leading News Resource of Pakistan – Last week I made fun of Zombie Simpsons for basically airing a free commercial for Cinnabon with their barely disguised “Cinnabun”.  Here’s why they deserve your scorn:

‘Cinnabon’ opens newest location in Karachi


Homer Simpson loves them. Jerry Seinfeld wants to marry them. And now Karachi residents can enjoy the world famous cinnamon rolls filled with the company’s signature Makara Cinnamon.

Somebody’s using it to actually pimp Cinnabon in Pakistan.  This never happened with Duff or Buzz.

Station / Estación # 10: Obrera – Click through for some excellent graffiti of Homer and Bart near a metro station in Mexico City. 

These are the bricks you’re looking for – A take on the evolution of Lego, with a particular knock at a Zombie Simpsons’ joke from a couple of weeks ago. 

Marge and Lisa Simpson Loves Donatella and Allegra Versace. Fashion Simpsons – From the same site as last week’s fashion mashups. 

The GOP’s Seemingly Never-Ending Debates – Poor usage:

Apart from global appeal, intentional comedy, puckish charm and hints of a first-rate mind operating under a veneer of stupidity, Sarah Palin has something in common with Bart Simpson. I’m specifically talking about the scene where Grandpa, forced to babysit the kids, refers to a note card provided to him by Marge. It reads: “Always do the opposite of what Bart says.” Too bad the GOP isn’t as smart as Abe Simpson.

That manages to get the quote wrong and the character wrong, and that’s always poor usage. 

My Favourite Cartoon Character – Cool fan made computer animated Lisa. 

Nice Bart Simpson pictures – There’s two here.  There’s a boring one of a Bartman statue at Comic Con 2009.  The cool one is a homemade Bart figurine from Mexico. 

Brits want to use bees as security guards to protect historic site – Excellent page whoring usage, io9:

Vandals are damaging a historic site in Wales, and its operators have come up with an ingenious solution: protect the place with bees. This should work, for as noted bee expert Homer Simpson once observed, bees will bite your bottom, and then your bottom’s big.

Got a dumb story with no hook?  Gin up a tenuous Simpsons connection and put a picture of Homer on it.  Denton has taught you well, young one. 

The 15 Best Band Cameos on TV – Good list here.  There’s lots of YouTube, and Simpsons makes it three times, for Smashing Pumpkins, The Ramones, and The Beatles, which comes in at #1. 

First You Get the Sugar: The name might confuse, but the music doesn’t – Speaking of bands and the show, here’s another band that took it’s name from an episode:

“People in tune with The Simpsons get it pretty quick,” observes drummer Daniel Moscovitch.

“While others still don’t understand what it is,” chimes in guitarist Adam Kagan. “Which is good – I say go rent Scarface, then watch The Simpsons, and then you’ll understand.”

Australia Day…In 10 Words « In 10 Words – That scene in “Bart vs. Australia” was the only good thing to come out of Crocodile Dundee, and they made two sequels! 

Homer Simpson Kills Ned Flanders by ~darthraner83 on deviantART – Fan art of Homer eating a donut after having just casually beheaded Flanders with a lightsaber.  Definitely works better than a pipe. 

Bart Simpson by ~katval1 on deviantART – Fan art of a slightly disturbing, goggle-eyed Bart.

Lisa Simpson by ~aquariano186 on deviantART – Speaking of disturbing, here’s fan art of a grown up Lisa with an undersized head and an oddly placed bust. 

Simpsons scratchboard art by Edwin Vazquez – Lots more than just Simpsons characters here, very neat.  The urinating Mickey Mouse is particularly depraved looking. 

Man wins €680,000 with one-euro football accumulator bet – Excellent reference:

Anyone who has seen The Simpsons episode where Monty Burns opens a casino knows that betting is evil, and Gamblor will ensnare you with his neon claws if you partake.

Gambling is the finest thing a person can do.

Rangers’ Rookie Hagelin Honed His Skills as a Standout at Michigan – Another NHL player who likes the show:

Hagelin’s adjustment from Sweden to the United States was surprisingly smooth. He was already fluent in English, having learned the language in school and through daily viewings of “The Simpsons” and “That ’70s Show.”

“In Sweden, they broadcast the American shows in English with Swedish subtitles, whereas in many European countries they dub them,” Hagelin said. “Watching those shows in English was big for me.”

The Simpsons Trivia Game – A free, 1500 question Simpsons trivia game for Android. 

Billy Cundiff: An Open Letter to the Baltimore Ravens’ Latest Scapegoat – Lenny actually says “Everybody” not “Everyone”, but this is still excellent usage:

To borrow a line from The Simpsons, "Everyone makes mistakes: that’s why they put erasers on pencils."

Poor Billy Cundiff. 

Family Guy (And Other Controversial Cartoons) – A Family Guy review that agrees with us:

They parody songs, popular sayings, celebrities and other cartoons (such as The Simpsons… And how it’s not been funny since you were 13 – sad but true).

Indeed, sad and true.

30 Rock: Best Comedy on TV or Stuck in Cruise Control? – And here’s a review of 30 Rock that agrees with us:

I get the argument of, ‘Come on, 30 Rock should challenge itself and try something different.’ But look what happened to a show like The Simpsons. That was the funniest show on TV for about 10 years, but its style definitely started to change, and it got terrible, and quite frankly, I cringe when I see ads for an upcoming episode today. And trust me — this is coming from a die hard Simpsons fan back in the day.

And I guess that’s my point. I’m sure after 10-12 years, the creative team of The Simpsons needed to try something else with the show. It didn’t work. Okay, fair enough. Let’s move on. But that show is still on the air today, and it’s getting progressively worse, completely losing what made it so brilliant in the first place. At this point, stop trying to change it, and just end it.

Amen, brother. 

Five TV Shows That Changed The World – Finally, here’s as excellent a one paragraph summary as you will ever read:

The Simpsons (1989-today)

Fully explaining the impact of The Simpsons in anything less than a massive leather bound tome is nearly impossible, considering the brilliant creative minds it has bestowed upon the world (Brad Bird! Conan O’Brien! Greg Daniels!), the countless shows it has influenced (South Park! Family Guy! Every show that’s ever been on Adult Swim!), and the staggering number of classic episodes it is responsible for (“Marge vs The Monorail!” “Homer at the Bat!” “Cape Feare!”). The “Golden Age” of The Simpsons is nearly a decade’s worth of sharp satire, breaking down every facet of American culture into hilarious, endlessly quotable, and sometimes even touching animated half-hours. Without The Simpsons, cartoons may have always been socially unacceptable for people over the age of 12 to watch. That an entire generation is growing up with a watered down, way-past-its-prime version of TV’s greatest dysfunctional cartoon family is a shame, but the first ten seasons of The Simpsons remain mandatory viewing for the pop culture fiends of the future.



Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror VI4

“Bart, what happened?” – Marge Simpson
“Well, we hit a little snag when the universe sort of collapsed on itself.  But Dad seemed cautiously optimistic.” – Bart Simpson
“Crap!” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday Nancy Cartwright!


Treehouse of Horror VI Script

Treehouse of Horror VI3

“Astronomers from Tacoma to Vladivostok have just reported an ionic disturbance in the vicinity of the Van Allen Belt.  Scientists are recommending that all necessary precautions be taken.” – Radio Announcer

Five years ago, a better than average copy of William Shakespeare’s First Folio was sold at auction in Britain for £2.8 million.  Part of what made it so attractive to the sort of people who are rich and bored enough to covet such items is the fact that, despite being printed in 1623, it contained notes from fans of the period:

Annotations are written throughout in brown ink and include prompts such as “wit”, “love”, or “simile”.

Experts said the comments offered a unique insight into contemporary views of Shakespeare because many of today’s famous passages had been overlooked.

Instead, lines such as “Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath, / That the rude sea grew ciuil at her song” (Midsummer Night’s Dream, II. 3) are pointed out.

It wouldn’t have been nearly as valuable without those annotations.  The text of the plays survive in innumerable copies, nobody needs another one.  But the notes that may have seemed extraneous at the time are, four centuries later, what distinguishes this copy from all the others.

In a marginally similar, if vastly more contemporary, vein, “Treehouse of Horror VI” exists in more places than can be counted.  Between television stations, DVD collections, dusty VHS cassettes, retail outlets, some vault at FOX, and the ever changing swarm of people and hardware that sustains BitTorrent, a pristine copy of the completed work seems unlikely to be a valuable find four hundred years from now.  On the other hand, the original script, complete with things that were never filmed or aired, is a relative rarity.

Fifteen years ago, John Swartzwelder, Steve Tompkins, and David S/X Cohen wrote that script; and somewhere a paper copy of it sits on a library shelf.  Thanks to the intrepid efforts of commenter Shane, who found it on that shelf and then sat down and typed out the whole thing*, it won’t rest there in obscurity.  Instead, all twenty-seven pages of it are here, on the internet, for your leisurely perusal.

I’ve copied the full text after the jump, or you can download a PDF copy (which does a much better job of preserving the original formatting).  For the moment I’ll resist posting my thoughts on what was left in and what got cut.  This is The Simpsons raw, and if you’re reading this site (and you’re not some dickhead FOX lawyer), you don’t need me to tell you what to think about it.

*From his original e-mail: “I didn’t properly transcribe the math symbols in Homer(3) because I’m lazy.”  Not a problem.

Continue reading ‘Treehouse of Horror VI Script’


Reading Digest: Just Don’t Look Edition

Thanks Api!

“Just don’t look.  Just don’t look.” – Paul Anka & Lisa Simpson

[Note: The Halloween themed animated .gif above comes courtesy of reader Api who sent it in with the subject line, “The perfect GIF to symbolise what needs to be done with The Simpsons.”  Damn right.] 

This week, the Vatican’s shitty newspaper, with which I’ve had dealings in the past, wrote something dumb about Homer being Catholic.  And so, for about the third week in a row, the Simpsons part of the internet was flooded with one boring topic.  The number of “Homer? Catholic?” type articles I read and/or skipped over was amazing.  In accordance with official Dead Homer Society policy dealing with things this stupid and media whorish, there are no links about it below.  What we do have is two reviews of Ortved’s book, some excellent usage, awesome Halloween themed Simpsons nail art, a sweet drawing of Lisa, and a chance for people in Minnesota to meet Mike Reiss.  Oh, and there’s a Simpsons art exhibition coming up in the UK.  Have I mentioned that we welcome submissions? 


[Edited to add: don’t forget to vote for your choice of season for tomorrow’s Simpsons marathon.]

Loser – It’s not a very Lisa thing to do, but this drawing is great (via). 

Save Some Room for Laughst This Thanksgiving Night With World Broadcast Premiere of ‘The Simpsons Movie’ – The craptacular movie is about to join Zombie Simpsons on regular FOX.  Feh.  

Attention, Supervillains and Climate Engineers: The U.N. May Soon Forbid You To Block Out the Sun – Even the most improbably far fetched global warming solutions can be used to reference The Simpsons

Simpsons avatar – The vegetarian shirt Apu sells really makes this. 

Bart: truly, the King of spring fields – I know almost nothing about horseracing in America, and even less about it in Australia.  But apparently there’s a guy named Bart who races horses. 

Anomaly Appraisal: The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History – Animation Anomaly reviewed the Ortved book, and linked to us!  Hooray. 

‘Simpsons’ history suffers from excessive speculation – Another review of the Ortved book, this one from an actual newspaper.

The Simpsons Art Exhibition – There’s going to be a month long Simpsons art exhibit in Manchester.  This is the Facebook page.  Should any of our UK readers find themselves at it, consider snapping some pictures and sending them in. 

Top 10 Schwingtastic Childhood TV Flashback Tracks – Lots of 90s YouTube here, including Bart’s duet with Leon Kompowski. 

hour #6: the simpsons, south park, and sex – An interesting essay on the tangled web of concepts that result when people get prosecuted, as a guy in Idaho recently did, for having Simpsons porn.  The only thing I’d seriously disagree with is this:

In fact, the reason I’m using South Park as an example and not The Simpsons is because South Park actually has a very large porn-fandom.

I’ve never looked into the South Park porn-fandom community but, as someone who looks at the search results that get people to this blog, let me assure you that there is a great deal of on-line interest in Simpsons porn.  Also, Kick-Ass was fantastic. 

My Cigar Guy photoshop power rankings – There’s a quite well done drawing of him with the family Simpson here. 

Night of the Dolphin! “Best Horror Flick Ever!” – I have respect for “Treehouse of Horror XI” far above everything else in Season 12 for the simple reason that they got the term “glory hole” on network television. 

Moe Moe Kyun~ – Moe photoshopped into a couple of Anime pictures. 

Oh the Simpsons, you explain it all. – Perfectly quoted.  Cool. 

A Fine Mahoke To You All – I have a general policy never to link to or read The New Republic, it only encourages them, but this is pretty excellent usage.  Helpfully, the entire thing is right in the title, so you don’t even need to click (via). 

The Simpsons as Addams Family Nail Art Tutorial – I do not have the necessary fine motor control to do this:

Those look amazing.

LISA SIMPSON diy tank top m/l KUTEGURL sale – Looks more like Maggie to me, but that’s still great use of a boring old Simpsons t-shirt. 

Travel: Oktoberfest Munich, Germany 2010 – There is much awesomeness at Oktoberfest, including this:

Slowly the group started to leave and we were left with one guy from Holland and also we began to make friends with a guy from South Africa. I asked them their names, the South African said his name was Johan, when I asked the guy from Holland what his name was he says "Bart, like Bart Simpson!" I just started laughing, he asked my name I told him it was Lisa. He responds, "Lisa, like Lisa Simpson, Bart and Lisa Simpson!" He was so excited about this I couldn’t help but crack up. Also the fact that we had had quite a few beers made the situation more funny.

Making d’oh: Simpsons’ writer to appear at Club Book – If you live in or around Minneapolis/St. Paul you can see Mike Reiss tonight or tomorrow

Friday Roundup!!! – And finally, I get to end the way I like to:

Sign #1114 that I’m becoming old as hell (but still handsome…as hell)…when I complain that the new hi-def intro to The Simpsons looks friggin’ lame and trumped up.  There was a predictability in the old one.  The ORIGINAL one.  Every child of the eighties grew up with that show.  Every child new how it went, there was a mental, subconsciousrhythm that one could depend on.  A mental clock of the emotional soul.  For that brief moment, you something good and pure and entertaining, something that could instill happiness on a primal level that the outside world couldn’t get to, that is what the intro signified.  That, and the general quality of the show is gone.  And that is why I feel old.  The show hasn’t been entertaining since the 8th-ish season.



Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror VI2

“Ah, the Miracle Mile, where value wears a neon sombrero and there’s not a single church or library to offend the eye.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Standardized TestImage used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Casey Serin.

“Remember class, the worse you do on this standardized test the more funding the school gets, so don’t knock yourselves out.” – Mrs. Krabappel


Quote of the Day


“Aw, they’re not so tough.” – Chief Wiggum
“Uh, Chief, that wasn’t a monster, that was the captain of the high school basketball team.” – Lou
“Uh, yeah, well he was turning into a monster though. – Chief Wiggum


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