Simpsons & Tom Jones

Via our wonderful commenters last week I learned that the scene where Grandpa and Bea flirtatiously take their pills was from the 1963 film version of “Tom Jones”.  (Sadly, Netflix has just informed me that it’s not available on DVD at the moment.  Really?)  That reminded me of this page (it was linked on boingboing two years ago) which has image by image comparisons of famous movie scenes and their Simpsons equivalents.  Here are the “Tom Jones” ones:

There are, obviously, a bunch more on there and if you scroll all the way to the bottom they even have links to a few specific movies. 

Pornography Monday

“But please, don’t you say that word.” – Homer Simpson
“What, ’sex’? What’s so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had sex.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson

This is the last week of our reprieve from Zombie Simpsons so I figured it was time for another collection of the various porn searches people have used to find this site.  I was worried that these were going to get repetitive at some point, but it turns out that even though they don’t often describe all that many different sexual activities and participant combinations they do find new ways of searching for them.

lisa sucks homer cock video

lisa suck bart dick

lisa simpson fuck milhouse

lisa suck bart dick

sexo con marge simpson

lisa simpson fucking

lisa simpson sucks milhouses dick

lisa simpson rule 34

groundskeeper willie under his kilt

rule 34 simpsons

homer fuck lisa

marge simpson sexual with bart and lisa

lisa simpon suck bret simpon dick

simpsonporn marge get fucked by bart mov

homer simpson fuck marge

the marge simpson porn

marge simpson porn

marge and bart in bed

marge fucked

marge sucking on bart

marge porn adult +18

lisa bart butt

marge porn

“autofellatio”

marge simpson boobs

bart fickt lisa und marge homer

marge simpson boobs

bart fucking marge simpson

simpon porno

simpson sex marge boobs

marge and bart in bed

simpson porno clip

simpsons porn

free simpsons porn

bart having sexwith marge

the simson porn site

There are two standouts here.  I got a kick out of “Lisa Simpson Rule 34″.  That is efficient searching right there.  But my absolute favorite has got to be “lisa simpon suck bret simpon dick”.  Even if you’re typing with only one hand it shouldn’t be too hard to spell these names correctly.  Although “Bret Simpon” does kind of sound like a porn name.

Quote of the Day

“Well I never thought I’d see it, they’re dancing on the Berlin Wall, these live and lively lovers of liberation.” – Not Tom Brokaw
“Boring!” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary, Eastern Europe. 

Quote of the Day

“All right, but you people remember: baby turtles and alligators may seem like a cute idea for a pet, but they grow up.” – Rex Banner

Happy Birthday Morgan Spurlock

It’s Spurlock’s birthday today.  Happy birthday, Spurlock, from all of us here at the Dead Homer Society.  I was going to Simpsonize him, but the Simpsonize website is down at the moment:

 

I guess he’ll have to make do with a graphic-less birthday wish from us.  Oh well.  All the best to him and here’s hoping his bearded friend from the Isotopes game makes the final cut. 

Quote of the Day

“Isn’t it nice we hate the same things?” – Principal Skinner

Simpsons Alumni Update: Mike Reiss

Longtime Simpsons writer Mike Reiss has penned a limited edition children’s book for, of all things, Saks Fifth Avenue department store.  It’s called “Twinkle Twinkle Little Flake” and it’s available exclusively at an over priced store near you:

Twinkle Twinkle Little Flake tells the story of a snowflake named Twinkle who embarks on an adventure in New York City once she has fallen from her cloud. Readily available to purchase in-store, this exclusive limited edition book makes the perfect gift for children this holiday season.

As part of their “Placate the Mob” program, Saks will give $2 of each $18 book purchase to charity. 

Reading Digest: Brunch FAIL Edition

 Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Annie Mole.

“Meet me tomorrow for brunch.” – Jacques
“What’s brunch?” – Marge Simpson
“You’d love it, it’s not quite breakfast, it’s not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end.  You don’t get completely what you would at breakfast, but you get a good meal!” – Jacques

One of the most irritating results of the continued propagation of Zombie Simpsons across the world is the degradation of actual Simpsons knowledge.  The show is now famous and well known less for what’s actually on the show than for just being famous and well known.  And so you get things like the first link this week, where Homer is invoked as a way to hook the reader but the actual Simpsons take on the subject at hand is ignored.  Also this week a wooden Homer gets burned in an electric chair, a metal Homer is carved into a Euro coin,  Al Gore wrote a book, Mickey Mouse got his groove back and we found some other people that agree with us.

Enjoy.

Brunch is the perfect meal – This is a review of some brunch places in North Carolina.  This is the opening:

I feel about brunch the way Homer Simpson feels about donuts. Brunch is the perfect meal: not too early, not too fussy, come as you are, eat breakfast or lunch, savory or sweet

You’re combining Simpsons and brunch without quoting Jacques?  For shame.

The 14 most awesome fake products from The Simpsons – This is a pretty weak list.  It’s got some Zombie Simpsons on it, about three of them are from “King Size Homer”, and there isn’t one product from “I Can’t Believe They Invented It”.  It does have “Nuts and Gum” though (via Twitter).

Simpsons Confidential: uncensored history of the show – It’s the New Zealand version of Ortved’s book. 

Halloween inferno proves to be popular tradition – This guy builds giant things to burn for Halloween bonfires.  This year he built Homer in an electric chair and there’s a picture of it. 

Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie interview – Scroll way, way down for yet another Marge Simpsons costume.  This seems a tad harsh though:

Have there been any notable cosplayers for you?
JM: There was a fantastic Lion-O.
KG: Lion-O rules!
JM: Lion-O’s brilliant, and it was his own hair, which was good!
KG: And there was also the return of Marge Simpson
JM: Yeah, Marge Simpson, who doesn’t look like they’re dressed as Marge Simpson – it looks like they’ve killed Marge Simpson, skinned her, and are wearing her skin.
KG: It’s like a Buffalo Bill, fucked-up Marge Simpson. Very sinister. And it scares me.

It doesn’t look that creepy. 

DOH! – A guy with Homer shaved into the back of his head.  That is all. 

Spanish shopkeeper finds Homer Simpson euro – This is from last year, but it’s new to us.  Someone scratched out King Juan Carlos and replaced him with Homer (via):

Image via Reuters.

‘Super Size Me’ filmmaker Morgan Spurlock to speak at Washburn University – Live in or around Topeka, Kansas?  Spurlock is coming to Washburn University at 7:00pm on Thursday, December 3rd. 

the simpsons chess set – Exactly what it says.  Though I think it’s a pretty lazy chess set.  With all those characters from which to choose they only used the family, and Bart is all of the pawns on both sides.  Why not mix things up a bit?  Sure make Homer and Marge the King and Queen on one side, but what about Ned and Maude on the other? 

*xmas* Mini Pez “the Simpsons” Moc No Maggie? – Krusty Brand Seal of Approval alert. 

IPhone Application Translates Babies’ Howls – A few months ago we came across a baby translator gizmo, now there’s an iPhone app for it (via Twitter).

qotd – Swartzwelder stuff from Ortved’s book.  Very much worth a click. 

While We’re On The Subject Of Al Gore’s Credibility… – Al Gore has apparently written a new book.  You know what that means: time to celebrate (with YouTube)!.

A Solar Powered Monorail System For Bologna – Mono means one, and rail means rail (via Twitter)

The Foliage – Obscure but well done usage.  (Also, if you look at this profile picture you can see the author wearing Simpson pants.) 

Mickey Mouse gets his edge back – Disney is rebranding Mickey Mouse as a bit more of a scamp.  The New York Times wrote an article about it which Wallet Pop quoted in a DHS approved kind of way:

He was, as the New York Times, puts it, "the Bart Simpson of his day," but even that reference is dated by about 20 years, as Bart himself, like Mickey, has gradually grown sweeter and milkier with time.

He’s “milkier” alright. 

Donut Bath – Donut bath?  Donut bath.  (With some Simpsons context.) 

Film Festivals and The Simpsons, Part 1. – This is just a screen grab of Bart, Lisa and Maggie at the innuendo laden “Stock Footage Festival” from “Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy”.  And the screen shot was grabbed from our old friends at Eye on Springfield.  But the name of the blog is “I Prefer Your Earlier Work” and if that doesn’t sum up how we feel about The Simpsons, what does?

November: The Money Pit, part 2 – Excellent usage. 

The Ten Best Simpsons Episodes – This is a cromulent list.  The breakdown of episodes per season:

• Season 3: 2
• Season 4: 2
• Season 5: 3
• Season 6: 1
• Season 7: 1
• Season 8: 1
• Zombie Simpsons: Zero.

The Ten Greatest TV Shows – Same blog as above, and yes The Simpsons is #1, but here’s the money quote:

The first half of the shows long and successful run of almost 20 years is simply untouched it terms of quality in the writing.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

Tiny Spurlock Update: Gettin’ Brazilian

As part of our ongoing efforts to Twitter-stalk Morgan Spurlock, here’s a tweet from the man himself last night:

on a plane to rio in the name of Homer – I just heard the temperature is hot, hot, hot with 100 percent chance of passion

One assumes that the Brazil trip has something to do with the fact that the Brazilian Tourist Board pitched a small fit back in 2002 over that unwatchably bad Season 13 episode “Blame it on Lisa”.  (Tough they were upset more by the childishly stupid portrayal of Rio de Janeiro than by the fact that it was a completely humor free episode.)  I guess Spurlock’s going down there to check in on things nine years later and see if tourists still go to Rio and if Zombie Simpsons is still humor free.  I’m gonna go with “Yes” to both questions. 

Quote of the Day

“Marge, look at me! We’ve been separated for a day and I’m as dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours, I’ll be dead. I can’t afford to lose your trust again!” – Homer Simpson

Thoughtful Gross Out Humor

One of the many great things about The Simpsons was its use of pretty much every form of comedy known to man.  Want intelligent and thoughtful political satire?  Check.  How about some really nasty sexual humor that slipped past the censors?  Oh yeah.  Completely insane (and often monstrous) ideas that nevertheless connect with you the ordinary person?  Indeed.  How about some gross out humor?  How about “yes”. 

The Simpsons was able to elevate to hitherto unknown levels ideas and images that in lesser hands would merely disgust.  There’s explicitly drawn nastiness like the filth encrusted hot dog Apu sells to Homer (“Homer and Apu”) and the twelve foot hoagie that redefined rancid and nauseating (“Selma’s Choice”).  But foul things can also be implied, like Krusty with the “urine” monkey (“I Love Lisa”) and Bart, to the shrieking horror of his classmates, reversing the video of the kittens being born (“Lisa’s Substitute”).  Stuff like this was going all the way back in Season 1, where Wendell vomits on the bus (“Homer’s Odyssey”) and Homer eats a mouthful of bees (“The Call of the Simpsons”).

Some of the above examples are in direct service to the story, others are just there because they’re funny.  But all of them are quick and nothing is drawn out longer than it needs to be.  Another spectacular instance of this can be seen below in images from Season 2’s “Old Money”:

That is shudder worthy disgusting.  The whole reason pills come in those dissolvable capsules is because the stuff inside them in blatantly unpalatable.  (Of course, this particular scene isn’t only gross out humor, it also makes fun of old people for being rampantly pathetic.)  Anyone who’s ever swallowed a pill can relate to how nasty the contents can be and how damned hard it’d be to maintain a straight face while tasting that, much less trying to be flirty.  That is an excellent gross out gag. 

Compare that to two of the most notorious examples of failed gross out humor in Season 12.  On the left we have Homer’s surgically repaired knee from “Children of a Lesser Clod”, on the right is one of the hobo sponge baths from “Simpsons Tall Tales”:

These are examples of gross things that don’t have much humor in them other than just being gross.  In and of itself that wouldn’t be too terrible, but each one drags on to kill screen time like you wouldn’t believe.  The hobo bath isn’t only long, it also occurs twice.  Homer’s knee is first gawked at by Milhouse and Ralph and then scabs over Ralph’s hand for no real reason.  In each case there isn’t anything else going on.  There’s no subtext or insight, both are just random and have nothing to do with anything.  And, most damningly, they take a long time despite the fact that there’s no joke to either one. 

Like physical violence, gross out humor is a comedy form the show once handled with scalpel precision and now uses as a cudgel.  Sadly, and like physical violence, the decreasing precision has also been accompanied by an increase in usage. 

Quote of the Day

“Lis, everyone in town is acting like me. So why does it suck?” – Bart Simpson

“It’s simple, Bart. You’ve defined yourself as a rebel and in the absence of a repressive milieu, your societal niche has been co-opted.” – Lisa Simpson

“(pause) I see.” – Bart Simpson

Sunday Preview: All-over-my-face Edition

Blood-splattered images are fun to make, but I digress. We’re two Sundays away from the next episode of Zombie Simpsons, “The Devil Wears Nada,” and fresh off Marge’s appearance pointless cross-promotion in Playboy, this episode will feature her taking her clothes off left and right. Cartoon nudity-lovin’ weirdos, get your DVRs ready; judging by the promo image, Marge gets white stuff all over her face and Ned puts questionable things in his mouth and possibly sucks on them. Simpsons Channel offers a description:

In an effort to raise money for charity, Marge and the “Philanthro-Chicks” decide to pose for a calendar. At the photo studio, Marge loosens up with wine and before long, Marge and her pin-up poses are the talk of Springfield.

Let’s revisit history for a moment. By my count, Marge has been in two previous crappy womyn’s groups, The Investorettes and The Cheery Red Tomatoes, in two unremarkable Marge-centric episodes, “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson” and “The Last of the Red Hat Mamas,” respectively. There’s an old adage that says two’s a coincidence and three’s a trend. At this rate, the easy money’s on “The Devil Wears Nada” being a complete shitshow. There’s precedent, consarnit!

Quote of the Day

“Finally, Bart’s one of us!” – Martin Prince

“Excelsior!” – Members of the Refuge of the Damned

Vote for Burns

Just a friendly reminder, today is off-off-year Election Day here in the States.  (That means your vote is slightly less statistically insignificant than usual!)  If you happen to be a resident of New York City you can throw your vote away in one of the most fantastic ways ever: by voting Charles Montgomery Burns for mayor. 

Not convinced?  Well, you should be, these guys set up a website, a Facebook page, and even made some pretty good videos.  We published an editorial.  All those things smack of effort.  All you’ve got to do is write in a guy’s name: Charles Montgomery Burns.  That’s only 24 characters, you could fit it into a Twitter message five times! 

So when you seal yourself in the voting cubicle, do the right thing and vote for a fictional mayor for New York City. 

Quote of the Day

“More testicles mean more iron!” – Lunchlady Doris

Simpsons Alumni Update: Yeardley Smith

Yeardley Smith has donated a combined $1.14 million dollars to a couple of microfinance organizations.  The idea behind microfinance is that poor countries harbor plenty of hard-working, would-be entrepreneurs who, with just a little bit of capital, can launch small businesses that will make them less poor.  Smith jumped in with both feet:

Smith was first introduced to microfinance after seeing 2006 Nobel Laureate Muhammad Yunus on Oprah. Inspired to become actively involved, she traveled to Haiti, accompanied by Grameen Foundation president Alex Counts, to visit with women in remote villages to learn how microfinance and complementary health and literacy services improve the quality of life for them and their families.

“I’m greatly inspired by people who demonstrate initiative and perseverance. I saw with my own eyes how eager these women are to be self-sustaining and that the smallest bit of success can rebuild a person from the inside out,” said Smith.

Were I writing this as a newspaper lead I’d probably have to put in some horrible piece of dreck about how playing do-gooder Lisa has rubbed off on Smith.  For example:

• “Voicing the charity minded Lisa Simpson all these years seems to have had an effect on actress Yeardley Smith who donated . . .”
• “Life imitating art?  After lending her vocal talents to the animated Lisa Simpson for twenty years Yeardley Smith has brought a little bit of Lisa to the real world . . .”
• “Yeardley Smith has taken some of the money she made playing Lisa Simpson and put it towards a cause Lisa would like . . .”

Isn’t this post much better without that crap?  I sure think so.

Update November 5th: Nailed it!  Here’s the lead from John Zorabedian from the site The Daily Tell:

The actress Yeardley Smith seems to have the conscience of Lisa Simpson, the famously activist character she voices for the popular TV show The Simpsons.

This was not the most difficult thing to predict, but still, nailed it.  Hopefully there will be more.

FOX Demands You Watch Its Other Crappy Programs

“How did you get tickets?” – Lisa Simpson
“They hid them in every millionth Krusty Klump Bar and Krusty Klump Bar with Almonds.” – Homer Simpson

So you think you can stand two consecutive hours of So You Think You Can Dance?  Feel like spending your Friday evening with reruns of Bones and House?  Do you have any plans at all next week?  Well cancel them quick because FOX is going to put “shout-outs” to the Simpsons across its primetime schedule all next week:

Beginning Monday, Nov. 9 and continuing through Friday, Nov. 13, fans can watch FOX each night to find SIMPSONS shout-outs, tributes and clues featured in primetime programming and on-air promos.

One lucky winner will receive the ultimate SIMPSONS prize package, including a trip for two to Los Angeles to attend a SIMPSONS table read with the Emmy Award-winning voice cast and producers, a home entertainment system, SIMPSONS DVDs and merchandise and tickets to Universal Studios Hollywood, home of The Simpsons Ride.

Viewers 13 years of age and older who spot SIMPSONS shout-outs can log on to www.fox.com/scavengerhunt each night to test their knowledge for an opportunity to unlock daily downloadable extras and to enter to win the ultimate grand prize.

Why are they doing this next week, a week that has nothing to do with twenty years of Simpsons?  Who cares?  Isn’t it funny that kids who weren’t born until Season 8 can participate?  Kinda.  Would I be able to sit quietly at a Zombie Simpsons table read without causing a disturbance?  Not a chance. 

Quote of the Day

“Remember your hippopotamus oath!” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you never even imagined.  Others may find out life isn’t fair.  In spite of your masters from Bryn Mawr you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!” – Mrs. Krabappel

Happy Birthday Marcia Wallace!